The colonel was the head of the royal commandos. The colonel was a fierce looking, muscular alien. The colonel was much loved by his men and had fought in many battles of conquest against the inhabitants of planets the Maankaari had visited to harvest.

The colonel was 10 centimeters tall.

The colonel had the same green amphibian skin, the same frog-like eyes, and the same clawed hands as the other aliens, but he and his commandos were much smaller.

‘All right my lads, gather round’ - said the tiny colonel

The other tiny commandos gathered around the colonel.

‘We have a mission, straight from the royal chamber and the king’ - said the colonel

‘HUZZAH!’ - the tiny commandos shouted

‘This is a dangerous mission lads, and a mission into the unknown’ - said the colonel

‘HUZZAH!’ - the commandos shouted

‘I will be looking for volunteers only. I am looking for 10 men to join me on an intelligence gathering mission’ - said the colonel

‘HUZZAH!’ - the commandos shouted, all raising their arms.

‘That’s the spirit lads!’ - said the colonel - ‘Major, if you can select the men for the mission’

‘Yes colonel’ - said the tiny major

‘Captain’ - said the Colonel

‘Yes colonel’ - said the tiny captain

‘I need you to build me something’ - said the colonel

‘Yes sir, what do you need built’ - said the captain

‘Follow me’ - said the colonel

The colonel and the captain walked to an adjoining room. David Sterling was sitting on a bench.

‘I need you to build me one of them?’ - said the colonel

‘What is it sir?’ - said the captain

‘I asked that, and do you know what they told me?’ - said the colonel

‘What sir?’ - said the captain

‘They told me not to ask’ - said the colonel

‘Yes sir’ - said the captain

‘Now I need you to build me one of them, that me and the lads can fit into and control. Like a giant controllable robot. Do you understand?’ - said the colonel

‘Yes sir’ - said the captain

‘It has to be controllable, and movable - and it has to behave and sound just like that thing’ - said the colonel, pointing at David Sterling.

‘Yes sir’ - said the captain

‘Well, get on with it captain’ - said the colonel

‘Yes sir’ - said the captain

The colonel walked back into the room with the other commandos.

‘Major!’ - shouted the colonel

‘Yes colonel?’ - said the major, hurrying over.

‘Who is the most technical of the lads - the best with machines?’ - said the colonel

‘That would be Trooper Blankoota sir’ - said the major - ‘trained pilot, trained armored carrier operator, expert in avionics and machinery’

‘Is he on the mission?’ - said the colonel

‘Yes sir’ - said the major

‘Bring me Trooper Blankoota’ - said the colonel

‘Trooper Blankoota, front and center’ - shouted the major

Trooper Blankoota ran to where the colonel and major were standing.

‘Sir yes sir’ - said the tiny trooper, standing to attention.

‘At ease trooper’ - said the colonel - ‘I understand you are a bit of a technical whizz, Blankoota’

‘Sir yes sir’ - said Blankoota

‘Follow me trooper’ - said the colonel, walking to the next room.

‘You see that?’ - said the colonel, pointing at David

‘What is that sir?’ - said the trooper.

‘What that is is none of your business trooper’ - said the colonel

‘Sir yes sir’ - said the trooper

‘That thing is going to teach you how to use that thing’ - said the colonel, pointing at the time machine

‘Sir yes sir’ - said the trooper.

‘Very good trooper, now get on with it’ - said the colonel

‘Sir yes sir’ - said the trooper.

The colonel walked back into the other room and called the major.

‘Come with me major’ - said the colonel

The colonel and the major walked back into the room that David was in.

‘Do you know what that is, major?’ - said the colonel

‘No I do not’ - said the major - ‘what is it?’

‘That is what your job is major, I want you to interview this animal and find out everything you can about it, it’s species, and where it comes from’ - said the colonel

‘Yes colonel’ - said the major

It was 3 months later.

The mission commandos were seated in a tiny meeting room. The major was standing at the front of the room.

The colonel entered the room.

The commandos all stood and shouted ‘HUZZAH!’

‘Okay my lads, have a seat’ - said the colonel.

The commandos all took a seat. The colonel stood at the front of the room.

‘Now you have all volunteered for this mission, and what a mission it is lads’ - said the colonel - ‘Major, if you would’

The major pulled down a screen and dimmed the lights.

The screen was illuminated with an image of a human.

‘So lads. This is a human animal. It isn’t much to look at, but this human animal could secure our future on this planet. Some of you may be saying to yourselves, where does this human animal live? We have never seen a human animal. Well these human animals live right here lads. Billions of them. So many that we can feed ourselves for hundreds of years to come. And we can breed them, and create a self sustaining food supply. Again, you will be saying - if there are billions of them, then where are they colonel? They are here lads, right here. But 67 million years in the future!’

The commandos began chatting and muttering.

‘Settle down lads’ - said the major

‘Our mission lads’ - said the colonel - ‘is to travel 67 million years to the future and to collect information on these human animals. We will collect information, and then bring that information back for our king. We have been ordered to gather as much information about these human animals as we can’

‘HUZZAH!’ - shouted the commandos.

‘That’s the spirit lads!’ - said the colonel - ‘The major will now be presenting about these human animals, so pay attention!’

‘HUZZAH!’ - shouted the commandos.

‘Thank you colonel’ - said the major - ‘We have a captured human animal, and I have spent the last three months interviewing this beast to better understand it, where it comes from, and what you lads can expect 67 million years from now’

The image on the screen changed, and it was replaced by bullet points.

‘The highlights of the interviews with the human animal are as follows…

The human animals are a violent animal that loves war, violence, and fighting

The human animals are generally stupid

The human animals prefer to live in larger groups - in what they call cities

The human animal is the apex predator, and consumes all other forms of life in the future. At the same time, some human animals are very fond of certain types of animals that other human animals consume

The human animal evolved from a species that is alive today - a type of rat

The human animals possess dangerous weaponry

The human animal’s life is built around the performance of mostly pointless tasks

For performing these mostly pointless tasks they they are rewarded with bits of paper that have imaginary value

Many human animals believe that there is a imaginary magical creature that created the universe

Most of the fighting and violence and war the human animals participate in is related to the control of the bits of paper with imaginary value and the imaginary magical creature

Any questions so far?’

‘Sir yes sir’ - said a trooper, standing up

‘Yes trooper?’ - said the major

‘What are the dangerous weapons the the human animals possess, sir’ - said the trooper

‘Ah yes. The weaponry!’ - said the major, smiling - ‘The human animal’s favorite weapon is something they call a gun! There are many different types of gun, but they all operate in the same way. It is not a particularly sophisticated weapon, but it is quite an effective way for one human animal to kill, maim, or injure other human animals. It is worth noting that human animals enjoy very much killing other human animals - and an entire industry has developed to manufacture increasingly creative and sophisticated weapons specifically designed to kill other human animals…’

‘Savages’ - muttered the colonel

‘So going back to the gun. A gun is a tube of metal that has had an explosive projectile placed within it. When the gun is activated, the explosive projectile is ejected from the tube and travels at a speed towards a target. Upon impact, the explosive projectile enters the body of the target and causes soft tissue damage, often resulting in death’ - said the major - ‘But the most dangerous weapon that the human animal has is something called a “thermonuclear bomb”. These weapons have only been used twice, and were used by a tribe of particularly brutal human animals called the Americans. The American tribe of human animals dropped two of these thermonuclear bombs on unarmed civilians to see what would happen. Hundreds of thousands of the human animals were killed by the thermonuclear bombs. Any other questions?’

‘Sir yes sir. What do the human animals eat?’ - said a trooper

‘A good question trooper. The simple answer is everything! Some of them are even cannibals, eating other human animals. They will even kill animals just for fun, with no intention of eating them. There is an ancient tribe of human animals called the British. The British human animals will dress up in strange outfits and sit on another type of animal called a horse - a type of large four legged beast - and they will chase another smaller four legged beast called a fox so that another type of beast called a dog can kill it. The human animals do all of this so that they can watch the dogs kill the fox. Any other questions?’

‘Yes sir. What are the animals that the human animals are fond of?’ - said a trooper.

‘Ah yes. Now this is a little bit strange. Now, as I mentioned before there is a type of beast called a dog. Now this beast, depending on which human animal tribe you are in, is either considered food or a beast that you will keep in a dwelling and love. There is no biological difference between the food dogs and the dogs that are loved - it is solely based on the proximity of the dog to the human animal tribe’ - said the major

‘Sir - what do you mean when you say the human animals “love dogs”?’ - said the same trooper

‘I mean trooper, that a human animal of a certain tribe will literally love the beasts called dogs. They will keep it in their dwelling, and feed it and adore it and love it in the same way that they would love their own offspring’ - said the major - ‘As I said right at the beginning troopers, the human animal can be considered generally stupid. Next question?’

‘Sir yes sir. What are the mostly pointless tasks that the human animals perform?’ - said a trooper.

‘Yes, now this is quite amusing and goes to illustrate what a strange beast the human animal is. Human animals have things called jobs. A job is a pointless task that you do to be rewarded with the bits of paper. An example of a job is something called advertising. A human animal whose job is advertising will be rewarded with bits of paper by convincing other human animals to exchange their bits of paper for something that they do not need. I know, it doesn’t make any sense’ - said the major, chuckling - ‘Any other questions?’

‘Sir yes sir. What is a cities?’ - said a trooper

‘Human animals do not like to be alone. They prefer to live with other human animals in large colonies called cities. However, when they are living with other human animals in these colonies they like to complain about the other human animals and living in the city. The human animals will play things called video games, where they pretend to be farmers outside of the city, and they will pretend to grow crops and have farm animals.’

‘Sir - what is the magical creature?’ - said a trooper

‘Ah yes. The magical creature!’ - said the major, smiling - ‘Of all the bizarre idiosyncrasies of the human animal, this is perhaps the most bizarre. The human animals believe - without any evidence, I would add - that a magical creature created the entire universe. There are many different versions of the magical creature, but in essence they are all the same story. The human animals will dedicate their entire existence to following rules created by human animals who claim to have communicated with or met the magical creature - but without any evidence to support those claims. These books set out a strict set of rules that must be followed. Failure to follow these rules will disqualify a human from living with the magical creature after they die..’

The troopers were giggling.

‘...Now the human animals who believe in one version of the magical creature will split into factions. Each faction will essentially believe in exactly the same version of the magical creature legend, except for one minor and largely insignificant detail. This minor detail we create friction between the factions of human animals, and they will fight bloody wars lasting hundreds of years over these minor details’

The troopers were now laughing.

‘That is enough questions I think for now’ - said the major

‘Very good major’ - said the colonel - ‘Can we have the lights back on?’

The lights were turned back on.

‘How tall are you trooper?’ - said the colonel, pointing at a trooper in the front row

‘9.5 centimeters sir’ - said the trooper, standing up.

‘A big strapping trooper! Have a seat trooper. Now the average male human animal is 170 centimeters. How are we, the royal commandos, going to blend in with these great hulking human animal beasts?’ - said the colonel.

No one said anything.

‘Captain, if you would’ - said the colonel

‘Troopers, if you would step outside of the meeting room’ - said the captain.

The troopers filed out of the meeting room followed by the colonel and the major.

The meeting room was a small room on the floor of a hangar. Standing next to the meeting room was the robotic David Sterling.

‘Troopers’ - said the captain - ‘This will be our ship when we travel to the future. This is a fully functional robotic human animal that we will be inside of during the mission. This robotic human animal can move like a human animal, and is preprogrammed with dozens of human animal responses to aid in communications with other human animals’

‘Troopers!’ - said the colonel - ‘Starting tomorrow we will be living, eating, and sleeping in this human animal. We will be on maneuvers for the next 20 days mastering the controls of this machine so that we appear as a regular human animal in the future. We will become a human animal so that we can complete our mission. Is this understood?’

‘HUZZAH!’ - shouted the commandos.