《The Mystery of the Real Live Dead Person》11c. Dreams Do Come True

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He emerged from the steaming bathroom, the hot shower doing much to lift his spirits. Despite the inferno outside, he still insisted on bathing in a fiery storm; he found it relaxing as well as soothing. The apartment’s air conditioner would soon do its job and bring his body temperature back down to a human level. Indoor climate control was a right in this part of the country; it had to be, since the summer heat could literally kill.

Richard had placed the easy chair directly below the available ceiling fan. That was his highest priority when he first arranged the living room; everything else was secondary. The wisdom of this became clear as he switched on the fan and plopped down in his chair, letting the cool air flush away all the excess heat as well as the morning’s stress.

After a few minutes of icy reverie, he finally leaned forward to check his phone. He had two missed calls; they were from Rosaleen and Kelly. His heart soared on seeing Rosaleen’s name, but immediately plummeted through the ground and into an old salt mine, splattering on the rusty rail track, as he realized both calls represented clients that had successfully avoided paying him for his work. Still, there was something to be said for the sort of heat Rosaleen represented.

Dialing her number first, he idly imagined how the call would go. She would thank him for his work, apologize for not paying him sooner, remit the entire amount at once, and want to see him later. And since he was dreaming, he went ahead and wished for a new car and a big house.

“Detective Schmutz! So nice to hear from you!”

“Hi, Rosaleen. I saw your missed call.” He tried to concentrate on the sweet, lilting tones of her voice, and not the person behind it.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I can get a bit…distracted…at times.”

Richard tried to hire the scorn he was feeling. “You don’t say.”

She made a sympathetic whining sound. “If it makes you feel better, I finally paid your bill in full. Hopefully you got it already.”

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Richard looked for notifications from his payment service. “No, but I believe you.”

“Thanks,” she giggled. “You really did an amazing job that day. I’ve met trackers out in the bush who weren’t as observant as you. And the way you took on that lizard? So fearless! Most guys would have just given up.”

“Think nothing of it.” It’s what he was trying to do, after all; silently, he kicked himself for getting into so much danger for the sake of a pretty face.

“So, there was another reason I called…do you remember the weird guy that was watching us in the park?”

Richard sat up. “Oh, you saw him too?”

“Sure did!” she chimed. “But he ran away as soon as he saw me. Could have been my big scaly bodyguard. But something occurred to me later…a dim memory. I think I’ve seen him before.”

“Really? Where?” She had his full attention now.

“It was outside a cave, a ways out of town. I saw him walk out, carrying a plastic container filled with brightly-colored fungus.”

“That’s something you don’t see every day,” he quipped.

“Exactly! So I wanted to show you where the cave was. Maybe it’ll help you figure out who he was.”

Richard sighed. “It’s my only lead, so I’m happy to check it out.”

“Great!” she trilled. “Does today work for you? Can you meet me at the Agua Caliente trailhead around 2pm?”

“The middle of the day?” Richard protested. “Won’t it be really hot?”

“Just dress lightly!” she suggested. “And bring plenty of water.”

“Wouldn’t it be a lot less warm in the morning?”

“I have to work mornings. Besides, the snakes are out at that hour. By the time we get there, they’ll all be hiding for the day. That sounds a lot safer to me.”

Richard found he couldn’t refute her argument. “I should have known you’d be right. Nature is your area of expertise, after all.”

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“Then it’s a date!” she trilled. Richard couldn’t help feeling elated at this outburst, despite all the defensible reasons not to. “See you then!”

They said their goodbyes and hung up.

He looked at his phone’s status bar. It showed a voice link, but no active data link. Richard threw on a pair of shorts, slipped on some sandals, and emerged from his apartment, holding his phone in front of him. Somewhere, he hoped to find a data signal. After wandering the hall for a bit without success, he decided to try the roof.

The hot air and blazing sun hit him with full force as he opened the door. No matter how many times that happened in his life, he never quite got used to it. His eyes fell upon the gigantic compressor fan that drove the air conditioning for the hallways and other common areas; one side of it was still barely in shadow. He bolted straight for the narrow respite and took up a position in the sliver of shade.

His back was to the air conditioner’s coils; the fan pulled air through them, ejecting the superheated result above his head. After a few seconds, he realized the artificial airflow wasn’t making it more comfortable. Past a certain temperature, wind was no longer refreshing; the rushing air felt more like a blowtorch. Still, it was better than standing in the sun, and there weren’t a lot of better options for shade here.

He stared at his phone for several seconds; finally, it managed to find a data signal. He continued to wait, hoping for the payment notification. Sweat formed beads on his skin and ran down his torso, soaking his shorts. Richard sighed; it was impossible to remain fresh during the summer. Fortunately, everyone in the city understood this, and wouldn’t fault him for it. Besides, he was going for a hike later.

A notification chimed from his phone; it was his payment processor. After a few clicks, he found Rosaleen had indeed sent him the full amount, plus a healthy tip. He smiled; maybe she was worth a second chance. He headed back into the building, but before he got very far, there was a second chime. Sergeant Reynolds had paid him for exposing the captain! He grinned at the unusually hefty amount. Perhaps they were happier with his work than they let on. Or maybe it was Captain Doyle’s guilty conscience for the front-seat prank. Whatever the reason, he was just glad it happened.

His apartment was noticeably cooler than the hallway; the two window units may not have been as large as what the building had on the roof, but at least they were all his. He plopped down in his easy chair and enjoyed the icy sting for a few moments. Finally, he brought up the missed call from Kelly and clicked the number.

“Hello, Detective Schmutz. Thanks for calling me back.”

“Hey, it’s the least I could do.”

“Yeah…speaking of which…I know you haven’t been working our case much lately. Granted, we didn’t pay you very well.”

“Brilliant deduction,” he quipped. “Got it in one.”

“I know…I’m sorry!” she whimpered. “But I was talking to my parents about what you did last night. They decided you might be worth funding, but they wanted to meet you first. Are you OK with that?”

“Sure, why not.” He had wanted to interview Kelly for some time, but she hadn’t volunteered herself. This would give him the chance he was looking for; hopefully he could segue from meeting her parents into asking her a few questions.

“Is tomorrow at 9am OK for you? My dad doesn’t start work that day until late morning.”

Richard checked his nonexistent calendar. “Sure, I can make that. Just tell me where to go.”

She gave him the address, they exchanged closing pleasantries, and then he hung up.

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