“Come at me, you accursed foreigners!” the ogre bellowed.

“Actually, we identify more with Journey, but it doesn’t really matter!” Sir Taco retorted.

Key Gullz tapped her drumsticks three times.

Begin Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

Introduction & Verse 1

Now … speak!

The ogre roared and let out a massive strum of his battle axe guitar. The band shuddered and shielded their faces from the terrifying reverberation.

Feeling a tremendous gush of air, Candii moved her hand away from her face and saw the ogre descending from the sky with the axe high over his head. “Move!” she cried.

The band picked up their instruments and dispersed before the ogre split the pavement. He dislodged his axe and swung it in a wide arc, barely missing Sir Taco’s head.

“Shooty McShoot face!” Sir Taco screamed as he checked his head for missing hair.

“We need the high ground to win!” Thad Penguino pointed to the road above.

Candii ran to the van and took out her backpack full of unicorn pearls. She threw it on and followed the band as they hustled around the ogre and up the winding road.

Once safely above the monster, the band jammed together and shook a wall of rocks, sending a rockslide down.

The ogre swung his axe and smashed the boulders overhead. “Nothing will stop me from protecting the downtrodden!”

The ogre threw his axe up at the band like a tomahawk. Key Gullz was blown back when the axe smashed her drums. The ogre threw himself against the cliffside and clawed up furiously.

Thad Penguino helped Key Gullz to her feet. “What are we going to do? We’re down a drummer!” he said.

CHORUS

I … home!

Sir Taco dug in his pocket and pulled out two spoons he had stolen from Stadium Kitchen. “Can you make these work?”

“There’s nothing I can’t drum!” Key Gullz took the spoons and jammed on any surface available to keep the bands beat.

The ogre pulled himself onto the ledge and picked up his axe.

Sir Taco took the lead and stepped defiantly in front of the beast. The band jammed in harmony and the ogre covered his ears, unable to take the volume so close to him. He dropped his axe and slipped backwards down the cliff. The hulk landed on the tour van smashing it into a flapjack.

VERSE 2

Can … weak!

“We’re just going to have to rush our way to the top on foot!” Candii commanded while picking up her amp and hoofing it.

The band scurried up the mountainside higher and higher, turning to check on the ogre who was coming to his senses.

Once he regained his balance, he glared at the band and picked up his axe. He knelt and then leapt high onto the mountainside. He ascended quickly, hopping after them like a tree frog.

Despite the band trying to be quick, an explosion erupted above. Flaming lava boulders began descending. A huge molten rock landed right in front of them stopping them in their tracks.

Candii turned around to see the ogre rushing them. “Stand your ground!” she demanded.

The band leaned into their instruments and jammed.

CHORUS x2

I … home!

The intense jams slowed the ogre to a crawl, but he kept his head down and stepped toward the band with his axe in hand, one steady foot at a time.

Thad Penguino blazed his guitar but popped a string. “W-we’re in trouble now!”

Sir Taco raised his voice, but he felt a crackle. His throat had run dry due to the searing volcanic air.

The band took risky steps back toward the molten boulder to give them more space from the ogre. With no other options, the band huddled close hoping to increase their musical potency.

INSTRUMENTAL

♫♫♫

Only a few steps away, the ogre steadied himself upright. His eyes barely open, every muscle on his body rippled from the pure rock power of the band. He slowly raised his axe above his head and took aim at Candii who boldly stepped forward and jammed harder to protect the band.

“Get behind me! Step back as far as you can!” she cried.

She turned around and saw they could not step back any farther.

BRIDGE

These … me.

Candii closed her eyes and whispered a wish from deep within her.

“Unicorns. Lend me your hearts, be one with mine.”

The ogres axe plummeted toward Candii's head, but her senses felt as if time was slowed to a halt.

She felt the warmth of the unicorn pearls on her back. Magic radiated from her bag and, one by one, the unicorn pearls flew out and hovered above the band.

BRIDGE 2 x4

I… dead!

Key Gullz looked up in awe as unicorn pearls shone brighter than she had ever seen. Her spoons popped out of her hands and were replaced with drumsticks made of diamond. Magically before her appeared a new celestial drum set made from the stars themselves.

Thad Penguino’s guitar was restrung with unicorn hair.

A bottle of refreshing unicorn milk appeared in Sir Taco’s hand. He chugged the whole bottle in a second.

As if time was a popping bubble, the ogre’s axe accelerated again toward Candii, who threw her arms up as her final defense.

With a blinding flash of rainbow light and glitter, the axe collided with a barrier of unicorn magic. In that fleeting moment, Candii’s heart connected to the ogre’s through their two powers. She felt hope, compassion, and pity most intense of all. For whom, she was unable to determine.

The axe deflected off the barrier and the blade carved a deep gash in the ground beside Candii. Caught off balance, the ogre stumbled slightly.

Candii turned to the band and they nodded back. They twisted their amp’s volume knobs until they popped off! Waves of rhythmic rock roared from their instruments.

The ogre stumbled again as one of his hands lost the grip of his axe. He tightened struggled to hold on with his remaining hand until he was hit again with a stylish rhythmic blast and his arms flew back over his head.

CHORUS

I … home!

His knees began to buckle and his body lost balance. The ogre fell onto his side and tumbled down the road as if in a wild rapid.

Candii took one firm step forward and sent a massive reverb rumbling down the dirt path. The ogre tumbled farther toward the cliffside. She took another brave step and reverbed the ogre over the edge.

A flash of emotions pumped through her body like a heartbeat. She remembered her fleeting connection with the ogre and ran down the road to the cliff’s ledge. As she approached, the ogre’s hand jutted up and grasped the ledge desperately.

“I felt your feelings!” Candii shouted. “Who are you?”

“You’ll take everything from her! She’ll have nothing left to live for!” the ogre cried, barely audible through the deafening music.

“What are you talking about?” Candii asked filled with confusion.

“Her heart!” The last blast of music from behind Candii blew the ogre’s hand from the edge and he fell to what Candii surmised was the last drop of his final album.

End Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance

Candii collapsed on the ground near the cliff edge and the band rushed to her side.

“Candii! Are you okay?” Sir Taco asked. He placed a hand on her back.

“I…I think I am. I’m just so tired,” Candii said with her head in her hands.

“You must have expelled a lot of empathy to get the unicorn pearls to do those awesome tricks,” Thad Penguino said pointing to the pearls that had returned to their dimmed state and were scattered along the road. “I imagine that you’re drained for the moment,”

“You’re probably right.” Candii slowly rose to her feet. “Let’s take this slow so I can regain some strength.”

The band walked back to the ogre’s abandoned axe guitar and pried the unicorn pearl from its fretboard.

Candii held it in her palm and said, “This one is for Lovely.” She stowed it away in her backpack along with all the others. She turned to the band. “We now have fifteen unicorn pearls. Since we’re unable to detect the last one anywhere on the continent, that means Morgana only has fourteen."

She stood tall and commanded at the top of her lungs, her fist flying through the air, "With our instruments and these pearls, we will surely blast her back to the stone age of rock!”