Megan was true to her word. There was very little that she wanted beyond what she had packed that day. I pondered a thought of thankfulness, but a bitter taste covered it up quickly. Sarah mentioned Megan had asked her to talk to me about a few furnishings that were heirlooms from her family, and some kitchen supplies that were gifts. I told Sarah to bring her and whoever she needed to move them on Saturday morning, and let her know I wouldn’t be there. I totally trusted Sarah, and I didn’t think Megan would abuse the opportunity. What I did know for sure was that I didn’t want to see her.

Several months later, the divorce was final. I followed the advice of my Pastor and friends. I had to find a way to forgive Megan. She needed it, and I needed it to let my heart move on. With lots of prayers and introspection, I searched my soul and truly forgave her. I would never forget, and I thought I would always have a trace of anger, but I was convinced that Megan was fighting something within her. I didn’t think she could even begin to explain it.

Sarah notice some kind of change in my attitude and decided to talk to me about it.

“Ben, it’s been a few months. Are you coming to grip with the whole Megan fiasco?”

“I think I’ve reached the point where I’ve accepted the whole mess. I can’t change it, but I know I can move forward and choose to live well.”

“Early on you were pretty angry but you remained gentlemanly about the whole thing. I’m curious if you ever had thoughts of revenge.”

Her question struck me as humorous. I imagined she was testing me.

“In all honesty, there were times my inner thoughts were not so kind. I guess we’re all like that or revenge movies wouldn’t be so popular. What Megan did was totally unfair to me. I didn’t deserve what she did. Even she said that. But what would justice even look like, and how could I live with something bad happening to a woman I used to love.”

“Do you still have feelings for her? I mean, if her new partner turned out to be a creep and she tried to come back, would you take her?”

“I’ve considered the same question. No, I couldn’t take her back nor could I ever feel the same way I did about her. I’ll always care, I’m not able to turn that off, but I’ll never trust her with my heart again. But I can say for sure that I’ve forgiven her. I’m moving forward and I hope she is too.”

“I do see her once in a while, and she always asks about you.”

“I’m glad you’ve stayed friends with her. I’m sure she needs a rock like you in her circle of friends. Do me a favor, though.”

“Sure. What?”

“Don’t tell her that I’ve forgiven her… at least not yet. For her own good, I think she needs to ask for forgiveness directly from me.”