《The Isekai Police: Hero Summonings are Overrated》4. The crack pipe-dream rescue
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Time seemed to freeze momentarily as Kai Freeman stared ahead at the strange newcomers in the courtroom. Covered in a thick, silk-like fabric and holding strangely colored metal melee weapons, these strangers seemed to put out an aura of intimidation.
“On behalf of the people of Earth, we demand you release these children! If you do not comply, we will use force. Stand down and be spared!” shouted the apparent leader of the group, who carried himself with an utterly undeniable presence. The entire room was transfixed on him and his words.
Somehow, though as was expected by Kai, the air of command put forth by the head soldier failed. This time, the guards didn’t hesitate, and they flew into action against these bizarre assailants with swords raised. It didn’t do them much good.
In less time than it took Reginald to lose his temper at the crying little boy, the invading soldiers had already secured the room. Their sulphur yellow-tipped spears and halberds cut through the guards’ arms and armor as if they were made of butter, leaving behind a trail of still-spreading rust wherever they made contact. And the weapons used against them merely bounced off their tightly woven armor. After the first few dead at their hands, the other soldiers decided to surrender rather than continue the futile defense.
“What are you doing?!” shouted the king, as he began to rise off his seat. He stood up several inches before letting himself fall back down onto a fluffed cushion.
“Making the right choice,” replied the lead soldier, as he casually made his way towards the no-longer-regal king.
“I’ll have your head! All of yours!” the monarch continued to shout impotently.
“King Reginald III, I think I’ll just call you Reggie whether or not you mind-”
Before he could complete his sentence, the robed woman standing beside king Reggie blasted a gout of fire from her hands, striking the newcomer straight in the torso. The frantic smile on her face faded into horror as the man simply brushed off the residual embers from his armor and continued towards them unabated.
“Nice trick there, with that firebolt, Miss Court Wizard,” the armored man said cheerfully in reply. “Bigger than average, but I won’t call it a fireball since I’m not standing in a flaming crater right now. Honestly, why is fire always everyone’s go-to spell? I mean, it’s so generic and easy to counter when you expect it!”
The boys and girls from Earth stared at the brash man as he continued his little speech. To Kai, it felt as if it was mainly for the man’s own benefit, as if he craved the chance to monologue but rarely found a good opportunity to do so. Either that, or he really had some kind of a bone to pick with Reggie here.
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“That’s why we’re all wearing heatscar spider silk armor,” he continued without pause, just like with his walk up the unnecessarily tall dais. “The stuff is perfect against fire and blunt force weapons, they just slide right off! But that’s what due diligence gets you, an easier time. Now let me show you something even cooler.”
“I’ll show you exactly why fire is-” started the woman, before pausing mid-sentence at what happened next.
The newcomer lifted a hand and snapped a finger. The air around the court wizard grew light, something missing from it. In fact, that very absence drew out the same substance from the robed lady, as if through some sort of mystical diffusion. She removed the hood on her robe and began panting.
“What did you do?” she asked between labored breaths.
“That there’s a null magic spell! It should be possible for wizards such as yourself to cast it, if the teaching of magic in this World wasn’t constantly undermined. You’re just dealing with a magic vacuum, you’ll be fine. Now as for you, Reggie…”
The soldier removed his visor to reveal another young man of slightly mixed ancestry. His black hair and slightly almond-shaped eyes were complemented by the near-vertical scar running down his left cheek and somewhat sharp cheekbones. While the newly summoned had eyes of wonder and bewilderment, his were similar to the very granite that made up the walls; cold and hard.
“All it took was a petty border war for you to start summoning Earthers. It wasn’t enough for you to draft your peasants who aren’t gaining anything from this, but you had to press gang people who aren’t even your own citizens. Even children! I would say I’m shocked, but that’s part and parcel for a King in a Gilded World. It honestly gets tiring policing over the worst of humanity, if you all can still be considered the same as the rest of us.”
The King was speechless. Though he didn’t seem like the kind of man to take any insult sitting down, he did in fact sit still. With their swift and utter domination of the royal guards, the strange army probably had other tricks up their sleeve. And Reggie was apparently wise enough to not tempt fate.
The invading group’s leader turned to the people still standing within the onyx summoning ring and addressed them in a calm, yet authoritative voice. “Ladies and Gentlemen of Earth, my name is Artyom Choi,” he started. “This piece of human feces, Reggie, decided to kidnap you all to fight in a stupid war that he started over a little bit of farmland.”
The young child who had asked to go home pulled on the sleeve of an older girl next to him and asked for the meaning of the word feces. Her reply made him giggle.
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“On behalf of the Terran Otherworldly Advocacy League that I represent, I apologize for the terrible inconvenience. Whenever exploitations of Earther summoning rituals like this occur, we try to assist the victims and prevent those abuses from happening again. Fortunately, it appears that the summoning ritual you are all standing on hasn’t quite cooled down yet, and it may be possible to send you back. All we need is…”
“Found it!” shouted one of the other soldiers in a nasally voice, awkwardly grabbing a sheaf of yellowed papers from one of the courtiers. He didn’t look quite as disciplined as his peers in terms of physical fitness and demeanor, but his reaction to the notes showcased where his true strengths lay. “It’s definitely rune magic, and level 5 degradation to boot! Just give me the signal and I’ll send everyone back.”
“Alright Abhi,” replied Artyom, giving him a thumbs up. “Go ahead!”
“Hold on!” shouted Kai, grabbing everyone’s attention. Despite the discomfort caused by the many dozens of gazes on him, he forced himself to continue. “I’m not going back home, there’s nothing for me there.”
“We could exclude you from the ritual,” blandly stated Abhi with utter disregard for the apparently awkward atmosphere, taking another look at the sheaf of papers in his hands. “You’d just need to step out of the ring.”
“We could, but is being shanghaied any better than wherever you’re from? You sound American, so even joining the army would get you a much better way of life than whatever Reggie had planned for you.”
“That’s enough!” shouted King Reginald. “First you insult my court, but now you insult my army? I won’t stand for this...”
A strong gust of air shoved Reggie back into his throne, and a spear of coalesced light pinned his robes to the seat.
“You can sit down then. But please, shut the hell up,” requested Artyom.
Reggie complied.
Artyom turned back to Kai, awaiting his anwer.
“Well, maybe not here, but somewhere? I’ve seen a few anime about this happening, and it’s always a chance to build a new life for yourself! That’s what I need.”
Artyom took a few seconds to take in what Kai had said. He took a deep breath, and put on a warm smile. “What you need, my friend, is therapy. I don’t really know your life story, but it’s always better to send more emotionally complete people to Worlds if we want to help other Earthers. It’ll take a bit before you’re ready, but I think we’ll get you there.”
Kai processed Artyom’s answer before his eyes began to widen. “You mean you want me to come with you guys?”
“Indeed I do! Once you’re prepped, we can drop you off in a nice Fairytale World to live out a peaceful life, or you could even choose to join us if you’re looking for a bit of a challenge,” said Artyom with a wide grin.
“Hold on,” said Abhi, turning towards Kai and the rest of the crowd and regarding them with a stern and cautionary expression. “If you step out of that ring, then you’ll never be able to go home. You’ll be stuck here with us, the rest of the multiverse, or king Reggie over there. Think carefully before you-”
Kai leaped out of the ring and landed with an acrobat’s flourish. His wide, shit-eating grin told the TOAL agents everything they needed to know.
“Well alrighty, then!” exclaimed Abhi with a dry smile as he rolled his eyes. “Anyone else want to jump into a massive, life-changing decision without really thinking about it like this guy over here?”
The young boy in the audience forcefully shook his head. The others didn’t say a thing.
“If you’re hesitating, then it means the answer is no. And if you’re saying no, then it also means no!” said Artyom with a laugh. “Don’t worry, you might end up getting spirited away like this again in the future, hopefully to a place much nicer than this. Those portalled once seem to have a knack for getting called again, that’s why we’re giving you these souvenirs!” The half-asian man handed out a set of small metal pins to everyone left in the circle, including Kai who was patiently waiting just outside of it.
With everyone now in possession of a souvenir, Abhi began chanting. The runes in the ring began to glow again, and a blinding flash of light enveloped the boys and girls standing inside.
“Thank you!” came the voice of the young child before they all disappeared, safely back home.
“So what should we call you?” asked Artyom, regarding his organization’s newest guest.
“It’s Kai. Kai Freeman.”
“Well Kai, it’s a pleasure to meet you! Let’s head back to headquarters and I’ll give you the grand tour.” The newcomer led Kai through one of the portals where he and his compatriots had first made their entry, ready to take the young man on a brand new journey.
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