Chapter 22

A yellow apartment complex was one of five that hadn’t collapsed and the only building offering an intact basement. Below, coin-operated laundry machines and an ancient boiler blocked a corridor to a hidden room. With a sturdy roof and stairwell opening easy to cover, it was the safest place we could find.

I filled my canteen and checked my rifle before stuffing my pockets with chips. “I. I’ll go back.”

Allie nodded and handed me our last soda. “Just the restaurant. He’ll probably be there. Come back before dark if he’s not.”

The hum in Allie’s voice disappeared, and her eyes gave away her thoughts. For the first time in the three weeks I had been with them, she looked scared.

Allie and Chris would fight if needed, but they weren’t as capable as Dan, and neither had the skills to travel alone. Without the alert in my helmet warning me of most threats and the lenses helping me move through the night, I’d be in the same situation. Reality struck me hard. For us to make it without Dan, I’d need to become their crutch.

Biting my lip, I stared at the ground before stepping out. Circumstances strapped me with a responsibility I couldn’t handle. I needed to find Dan.

The winds hadn’t died down, and unsurprisingly, the temperature rose to summer highs. The weather before a breach turned chaotic—blizzards to sandstorms within hours. That it was starting over a month before meant the sixth would be intense. Each breach stronger than the one before.

Powerful gusts shot debris like bullets, making an already difficult situation worse. The town looked like a hurricane swooped in after a tornado ripped through. There was no way to tell if spotters searched the region or if they’d bother in the hellscape. Moving through the area unnoticed was a mental struggle.

Crouched low, I darted between the wreckage and crawled whenever necessary. The sun was high, and I was hardly stealthy. But at the very least, I tried to go through the motions and hoped nobody was watching.

Once back at the restaurant, I searched the immediate area, but there were no signs Dan had returned. Allie and Chris held that he’d make it, that he wouldn’t abandon them, and I agreed. Which meant something or someone caught a person stronger and far more experienced than I was.

The restaurant’s corner had a section of roof still attached to the brick wall, allowing me to lie flat on my stomach and scan for anything. I adjusted the scope like Dan showed me, and I saw the town center, but not well. Not through the yellow haze of storm-driven dust.

Metal clanging like cans on a wedding getaway car kept me on edge. I questioned what would happen if Dan didn’t return. I liked Allie and Chris, and I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t think I could keep everyone alive. Although I still wasn’t close to Dan, I had to admit he knew more than any of us.

Everyone would die if they relied on me.

The day wore on, and by late afternoon the air was stifling. Half the soda fizzed over the can onto the back of my hand when I opened it, and the hot beverage only increased my thirst, sticking to my lips and fingers like glue. When it snowed again, I’d pour every drink over a clump of ice and make snow angels to chill myself. Just before the heat and boredom put me to sleep, my alert pinged.

Two men dressed in beige uniforms carried guns and dragged a third behind them in the storm. The region was a chokepoint for travel and the perfect place to capture anyone looking for safety. The uniformed men were most likely from the same group in Lake George.

I followed them through my scope, but they never came closer than 300 feet before turning towards the bonfire locations. Like I had seen prior, they joined others who pushed a line of people they rounded up. Four pretend soldiers encouraging stragglers to pick up their pace with helping kicks to the back.

None of them seemed strong in Lake George. Stronger than me then, but I wasn’t the same. If what Dan said was true, and others weren’t able to draw essence efficiently, most people would have a hard time gaining strength. Which led to the question, how’d they catch Dan?

Dan was nothing like a frontliner, but he was well beyond scabs and most of the soldiers I saw on the military base. Unless they overwhelmed him with numbers, there had to be at least one person similar or stronger than Dan. Someone capable of seeing through his ability as well.

I waited until dusk before leaving and slinked down the basement stairwell. I didn’t want to give them the bad news, but Allie asked before I reached the last step.

“He wasn’t there?”

I shook my head and removed my helmet. “I couldn’t find him.”

Chris came from behind the coin-operated washers, club in hand, ready to attack if Allie needed help. “What do we do?”

Allie’s face dropped. “Did you see anything else?”

“Soldiers and people. A line of people.” I sat on a cinder block and brushed the dust from my arms and shirt.

She nodded like she expected the result, and Chris filled my canteen with cool water. I took a sip, and my body went limp. Despite growing stronger, every day was a struggle that wore me down. I hadn’t noticed it while alone and wondered if being with other people had anything to do with it.

“How many?” Allie sat on the floor across from me and leaned forward.

“Six soldiers. I don’t know how many people they had. It got too dark.”

“Strong?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

She held her hand to her chin and let out a deep sigh. “So if they really get Dan, then there’s a lot or someone really strong. We have to be careful.”

“You think he did it on purpose like last time.” Chris popped a pretzel in his mouth and sat across from Allie. A nervous eater from what I had seen.

Allie waved him off. “No. Last time he did it to steal supplies. We stalked them for two days. He wouldn’t do it without saying something.”

Getting captured to steal supplies almost sounded comical, and not something he would do with us waiting for him. I didn’t think he hunkered down somewhere because of patrols either.

We sat in silence for nearly an hour, waiting for someone to come up with an idea worth sharing. The room was dark, but we could still see each other. Allie stood. “We need to find out if they got him by tonight.”

Even though she said we, she meant me. I was stronger and faster than them, and I was the only one with night-vision. I asked myself three questions. Was I willing to die for Dan? Would Dan look for me? Was I really a good person?

I couldn’t answer the first two, and the third shouldn’t have been so difficult. I knew I was a good person. But good people made hard choices too. Dan wouldn’t die for me. He had Allie and Chris to take care of. It came down to whether Dan would look for me.

I closed my eyes. I wanted to believe he would. Three questions and two of the answers told me I should try.

“Ok.” Although I struggled, I didn’t stutter. I had decided before that I wouldn’t become a person who abandoned friends. Dan wasn’t my friend, but I hoped Allie was. I hoped she wouldn’t leave me behind if I needed her, if I asked her for help.

Allie walked to me and held my head. “You just need to find out if they have him. Don’t do anything dangerous, ok? Come back if you don’t feel safe. We’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll go.” I shook my head and tried not to talk more than needed. To say I wasn’t scared was a lie. I’d rather die than get caught, and the more time I spent worrying, the more I wanted to escape.

After eating some peaches, I filled my canteen one more time and prepared to leave.

“Amy, come here.” Allie pulled me to the corner of the room and picked a few items from Dan’s bag. “Wear this shirt over your vest.”

As if she wanted me to drown in sweat, she handed me a dark, long sleeve shirt to hide my arms.

“Dan used to tie people with this stuff, so take it just in case.” Duct tape and rope. Before I took them, she grabbed my hand and yanked me to the ground. “You sure you’re ok?”

“I-I, don’t,” I stopped and took a deep breath to calm my stutter. I decided I would do it. Even if I didn’t want to fight other humans, I had to face reality. Things wouldn’t get better, and eventually, I’d have no choice. “I’m ok. I’m ready.”

“Only if you have to.” Her voice was firm, like she was telling me to avoid fights, but I didn’t think either of us thought that was possible. “We’re gonna give you our essence before you go. Bring us below equilibrium.”

The reasoning was simple. I’d drain as much essence from them as possible to keep them safe and raise my ability. They’d remain hidden and wouldn’t show up on a scanner. But their bodies would naturally rise back to equilibrium within a day. By then, I had to be back.

When they were ready, I held their arms and pulled the essence from their bodies freely. Within 10 minutes, I nearly doubled the particle mass I had before, making me a fair amount stronger than Dan.

I pressed the particles throughout my body. If I limited them to my arms and legs, my skin could block a knife, but probably not a bullet. The feeling was overwhelming, and my body would pay if I didn’t use it wisely. Any muscle or bone not reinforced properly would tear or break, and I wouldn’t realize it until I completely pulled the particles away.

“I’m going.” I stood and walked towards the makeshift exit without looking back or lingering. If I thought about it too much, I wouldn’t leave.

“Amy. Don’t let them take you. Make sure you come back.”

I didn’t reply. I didn’t know what to say. We had no idea of what to do if someone caught me. Instead, I steeled myself and slipped through the wood covering. The wind died down from the earlier tempest, but it didn’t stop. I checked with Essence-vision first, then switched over to night-vision and crept towards the town center, ducking behind anything still standing.

I found two signatures and slid in their direction.

Behind a wrecked car, I closed my eyes and told myself what I wanted to believe. They were terrible people. They were no better than scabs. Scabs that took my friend. And I was doing the right thing. When I looked again, they were within earshot. A younger voice asked questions, and a husky voice gave answers.

“How many?”

“Three from 470. Poor bastards didn’t struggle. Just walked across with their hands up.”

The two men less than 50 feet away moved towards me through a lane cleared from garbage. I couldn’t see them beyond the cars, but they’d pass me soon enough. We considered crossing on route 470, but the bridge was too long, too wide, and too hard to go unnoticed. The three they took had to know that; they didn’t care.

“Men or women?”

“Three men. Skinny as all hell. Probably looking for food.”

Food was scarce if you weren’t Chris, and I imagined many would turn themselves over if it meant they wouldn’t starve.

“Taking ’em to Cayuga?”

“Probably. Last trip’s a week from now. They’re taking all the men there.”

“Shit. Do you think they’ll?”

That he cut the question short showed nothing good happened in Cayuga. The name was familiar, but other than it being in NY, I couldn’t place it.

“I don’t know. Might be enough space by then. But I don’t know.”

Not enough space sounded like they were building something. If they brought Dan with them, it would be next to impossible to get him.

After confirming their soul mark wasn't in the system, I drifted toward the pair and pulled my mace, squeezing my wrist and closing my eyes. My body shook, and the muscles in my back locked. They didn’t have to die. I placed the weapon in the vest loop and decided to use Dan’s method to subdue them.

I didn’t have the priest to forgive me anymore, so unless I had no choice, I’d try not to kill anyone. As long as I didn’t have to, I’d try. Because even if it was foolish, I wanted to be a good person. A good person, until I could no longer.