《Maker of Fire》94. Negotiable Prophethood
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After the observatory demonstration and dinner, I went to bed but couldn't fall asleep despite being tired. Then a fluffy fat person-sized Galt cat jumped up on the bed and snuggled next to me.
* Scratch behind my ears, please? You're so good at it. *
"What's Tiki going to say? This isn't your shrine. Does he know you're here?" I sat up and applied both hands behind his ears. "And don't purr so loud you knock things down from shelves. Geez."
* Tiki knows. I just thought I'd keep you company while we were waiting for your ride to arrive.*
I stopped scratching. "My ride?"
* Yes, kitten, your ride. Scratch please? *
I started scratching again. "Alright, mister cat god, fess up!"
* Asgotl is coming. They need you in Black Falls, what's left of it. Oh oh oh oh oh! Under the jawline! There! There! OOOOOOOOOOH! *
He was purring but not so loudly that the world was shaking.
"Why?"
"This is one of the problems with free will," a Cosm-sized Tiki started pacing back and forth in my bedroom. "We've been inserting some free flow into reality since it's not good to overengineer adjustments to the system. Our current problem is Aylem. It's nothing that can't be fixed but it’s best for gods to avoid direct involvement. I apologize, Emily, but we need you to take care of Aylem for us, again, please."
I moved to scratch the person-sized cat under the chin, "what I don't understand is why you need to use something like me?" I adjusted my posture for better reach. "Why is it preferable for you not to intervene directly? I mean, you're gods? Right? Can't you just do some godly power stuff and take care of it without using a powerless short unmagical thing like me?"
Tiki stopped pacing and looked at me. Well, those two glowing red patches behind the Tiki mask looked at me, I think.
"What happened to omnipotent, omniscient, et cetera, et cetera?" I asked.
* Don't look at me, Tiki. She's your revelator, * Galt squawked.
"Galt, why be difficult when with a little more effort, you could be a cat?"
* Very funny, booze man. *
"Emily, yes, we are deities. Your current level of sapient being can not comprehend my complete existence. You're doing great to be able to talk with us like this. You show incredible promise. We like you and we enjoy you. I know you aren't going to like what I'm going to tell you next.
"There are things about you that make you the perfect agent to achieve what we need to do right now. We have many things we need to adjust to keep reality running well. Right now, we need to fix Aylem. You are an important tool in our toolbox to get that fix done. That's a lousy way to put it because you are sapient and that makes you so much more than just a simple tool.
"As to why we need to use beings like you, well, I can't explain it to you. It's a cop-out to say that it's ineffable. I admit that. I will say that a lot is going on around you in this current reality that you can't sense with your current physical existence but that we can. From a project management point of view, we are on budget and on schedule with this version of reality. We were under budget but then Aylem put a divot in our resources.
"These little chats we have with you are something we construct in a framework built from your own understanding of reality. We really do enjoy these interactions with you. You have been a very good agent for us but you have also been a lot of fun. Some of what we have done with you, Emily, has been simply for pleasure, like Giltak taking you to the opera.
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"Please don't hate me for this, Emily, because you've been one of the best souls we've ever had the joy to employ; however, right now, you are also our prophet for this world. Sometimes a soul comes along that fits so well with what we want to achieve that a prophet opportunity arises. That is what is happening with you, Emily.
“I see that face, Emily. Please don't look like you want to murder me. You do really good scary faces, Emily. I was impressed when you stared down Fassex at her shrine, by the way."
"Flattery is not going to work, you miserable chunk of carved macadamia nut!" I was appalled by what he told me. "Damn you and the coconut you came from! I do not want to be your prophet! Go find someone else!"
"You will understand in a few millennia," Tiki said. "It can't be helped."
* Tiki, I advise you not to dodge this one. She’s one of the best agents we’ve ever had. *
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" I threw my hands up. "You want me, specifically me, the one and only me who is Emily, and no one else to do this prophet gig, because you've looked over my skills and experience and decided I'm the best fit for the job, right?"
"That's one way to put it," Tiki conceded.
"Unbelievable!" I smacked my hand against my forehead. "Is there room here for negotiation?" I remembered what the mysterious black-haired lady-god told me one night in my bedroom in Aybhas.
"No," said Tiki.
* Yes,* said Galt.
"Oy vey," I shook my head. "I can’t negotiate?"
"No, you can’t," said Tiki.
* Maybe,* said Galt.
"Dullards!" Mugash interjected, looking perfect and benevolent in her Old Testament holy woman outfit in the white and brown colors usually worn by Saint Anne.
She smiled at me. It was a perfect smile, full of love and sympathy and empathy. It was impossible not to love Mugash. Yes, I had deduced that she was using godly manipulation on me, but what a class act she was at manipulation. She had this god thing down pat, even if she was manipulating me.
"You are too smart for this job," she said sadly, comprehending my thoughts, "but as you are right now, you are perfect for what must happen tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? I thought I was shooting for negotiation on the whole prophet gig here."
"You want the elimination of the enslavement system by the Cosm," Mugash said. "We want that too. What this beach bum of a god is hiding is that this is not an easy task. Let me share some disclosure. Your old world experienced a failure of sustaining biological life. That wasn't supposed to happen; however, there were some amazing results before the system crashed. Inserting you and some others at different times into this current reality is an exploration of how we might reboot some of those results without destroying the balance of life.
"The Cosm are an exploration in response to your former system's failure. Their role is to act as restraint on Coyn excesses in developing technology. We did not anticipate the enslavement premutation. That was not the intended result. I would like to discuss this further but I regret that you need to leave for Black Falls. Emily, so we can continue this discussion later?"
"When can we continue?" I asked, "and what guarantee do I have that you will negotiate in good faith?"
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Mugash leaned her head to the side and studied me. "Consider me your HR department liaison. I guarantee we, the gods, will continue to negotiate terms with you because we do value what you are doing for us."
"Hey, wait a minute," Tiki protested.
* Shut up, coconut head, Emily isn't your usual idiot prophet, * Galt swiped his paw at Tiki. * No more burning bush fiascos or holes in the moon. I have nothing against a little more quid pro quo for the soul who is one of our best agents ever. How can you possibly complain about her results so far? You can't, so shut up, Booze Man. *
"I concur with Galt, Tiki. This is an occasion where negotiation is appropriate." Mugash turned back to me, "Emily, we will speak again, as soon as the situation with Aylem smooths out. I believe you now understand how important she is for us."
I nodded. "So I need to go to Black Falls. What's up with Aylem? Please don't tell me she's going to lose her temper again and hurt someone."
*No, she's going to try to run away again,* Galt said. *You can stop her. We need you to stop her.*
"So, when will Asgotl be here? Can I get any sleep before then?"
*I will wake you when it's time,* Galt purred and licked my face. I fell asleep.
I woke up when someone, who shall remain nameless for now but whose initials are Galt the Cat God, decided to play with my braid. He smacked the end of it around like it was a kitty toy. It landed on my face and it wasn't pleasant.
I sat up feeling rather annoyed. "Look, you incorrigible feline, that hurt!" Galt was sitting on my legs looking very pleased with himself, the wretch. Foyuna was sitting in the chair looking terrified. I didn't get it, but for some reason, everyone was scared of this overgrown pussy cat with addiction for getting scritched.
* I promised I would wake you up. I didn't promise I would be nice about it. *
I tried to hit him with my pillow, but he disappeared before my projectile intersected with where he was sitting.
"Oh," I glowered, "that god is such a cat!"
"How can you talk about a god like that?" Foyuna was still terrified, eyes wide, breathing fast and shallow, pale skin, slight trembling of the hands.
"I don't understand w...why everyone is so scared," I shook my head. "He's so catlike and rather adorable."
"I don't understand why you aren't as frightened as everyone else in the shrine right now. Everyone here knows that there have been gods in and out of your room all evening. Don't you feel the power pouring off the gods when you are in their presence?"
"No, I don't feel anything like that," I admitted. "Maybe you need to be magical to feel the fear you're describing. Most of my interactions w...with the gods have been benign, except for getting a revelation, w...which two out of three times, hurt a lot. I was unconscious for the third time so it doesn't count. Some of my experiences w...with the gods have been a lot of fun. For example, Tiki makes the best pina coladas ever, w...which makes sense since he's a god and all that. One w...would expect drinks made by a god to be perfection, and they are. I've been out drinking w...with him twice and w...would go a third time if invited."
Poor Foyuna looked gobsmacked. "Emily, I think I would likely perish from fright if any of that ever happened to me. What's a pina colada?"
"If made by Tiki, it's heaven in a glass w...with a great buzz afterward and no hangover in the morning."
"So it's alcohol?" she asked, still looking skittish.
"One of the best alcoholic concoctions ever made," I replied, thinking of how well Tiki made them.
She finally relaxed a little, "it sounds wonderful and now I think I would like to try one."
Then she screamed because a Cosm-sized pina colada popped into existence on the table next to her.
I had to refrain from laughing because the situation did strike me as comic. "W...well, I think Tiki w...as listening to you. You better try it, at least. Tiki is just a little vain about his bartending skills."
Foyuna took a sip, hands shaking in fear. Then her face changed.
"Oh my," she blinked. "Sweet with just a little bite, and what are these flavors?" She took a larger swallow. "That's amazing."
"Is Asgotl here?" I asked.
"Yes, he's currently putting a dent in my budget for feeding mounts. He's bigger than most griffins and eats a lot." She took a long pull on the drink. It was half gone already. I had no idea how it might affect a Cosm.
"Do you know how to make these?" she wondered, completely forgetting her former state of fear from a few moments ago.
"I know w...hat goes into them and I have no idea w...where one could even get the ingredients in Foskos. They are made w...with things from very far away. I doubt I could ever make my own that w...ould be anyw...here as good as Tiki's." I started the slow climb out of bed, "is it chilly out at all?"
"Wear a flying cloak so Asgotl can fly as fast as he wants without worrying about freezing you," she advised. "Do you want a hand getting dressed or should I leave? I did bring back your boots." She left them on the floor under the table.
"I can fend for myself, thank you," I said as I gathered up my clothes. Foyuna left. I debated grabbing my baggage since I still had not gotten back to the shrine in Aybhas. I decided to bring just the guitar in its leather gig bag, one change of stockings and underwear, and my new big knife that Aduda made. I had been making progress on getting my playing calluses back. Since Lisaykos and Aylem both needed to return to recover their possessions, I would leave everything else and ask them to fetch my stuff too.
Wearing my Mugash Shrine mantle with the black satin-lined hood, I left my room with my riding cloak in hand and my clothes stuffed in my gig bag. Foyuna was waiting for me.
She made sure her shrine attendants properly strapped the gig bag I wanted to bring with me to Asgotl's saddle. I belted myself up against the backrest on the saddle that Aylem used. That way, I'd be able to fall asleep without worrying about not having enough strength to stay upright on Asgotl's back.
---
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