Aylem, Healing Shrine of Mugash

Not even the Nazi bombs falling day after day on Coventry were as horrible as living through Emily's death from some terrible disease, fighting for something as basic as air. Is this sort of experience the reason she has such fortitude and strong will? It made me feel many times worse about killing her than I had before. I didn't think I could feel any worse than I had been after killing her, but I was wrong.

I realized for the first time how superior Emily was. She had no advantages in this world. Not one! She was a small weak Coyn with no magic. Her only transportation was her own two feet. She couldn't even speak when I found her. I thought I was so much better than her. I wanted her for my own selfish desire and for the things she could make. I also wanted her friendship because of our shared experience as former residents of Earth.

I never once thought of what I could give her in return. I thought that my patronage and protection would be more than sufficient. I thought she would fall at my feet in gratitude. I didn't even consider that she might value other things or have other needs beyond my own.

I had been so wrong about so many things concerning Emily.

I had lost my temper at my oldest friend, Asgotl because he rightfully pointed out that Emily was her own person who would do as she liked and not as I wanted. I was such a child, acting like a spoiled brat denied a piece of candy.

I dreaded walking back into the Well of Mugash. Mugash would be waiting for me, but she wasn't there when I entered in the morning. She came again at the sixth bell, sat on the Seat of Judgement, and punished me further.

"You, Aylem, are a bully," Mugash said with great disappointment. "You were given so many gifts: wealth, power, all the different types of magic, strength, intelligence, and beauty. You have used some of those gifts to bully others and get your own way. Your position and power have scared most people from confronting you even when you are wrong."

I would have argued about that, but I could not move nor speak. Mugash had restrained me.

"Aylem, your children and husband are afraid of you. Your children have seen you lose your temper at Imstay, subjecting him to a thousand stings as they watched. You fail at making friends because everyone fears you and what you could do to them in a fit of temper, just like Imstay.

"Your own daughter is scared of you, Aylem. You have been so occupied with your own selfish life that you can't even see how she lives in fear. This is your daughter's fear:"

"I looked up from where I was hiding because mother was being scary again. She waved her crystal and father fell to the floor, twitching. They always fought and sometimes mother would end the argument by attacking dad with her magic. He would never win, especially since mother was bigger than everyone, stronger than everyone, and had greater magic than everyone.

"Everyone is scared of her. Her servants are afraid of making mistakes. One man mixed up sauces at dinner one night. Mother picked him up like a puppy and shook him, then threw him across the room where she stopped his flight with magic just before he hit the wall. She let him float to the floor. He got up and ran away, ran out of the palace, and was never seen again.

"I asked her not to read me any more bedtime stories. I said I was too old for it but I was really afraid she would hurt me like she hurts daddy or her servants."

I had not known. Opo'aba hid those feelings from me. My own daughter was afraid of me and I gave her reasons to be that way. But I hadn't hurt anyone badly and the circumstances were...

"You didn't hurt anyone badly," Mugash interrupted my thoughts, "until you killed Emily and Asgotl. Those two, along with Lisaykos and Fassex are the only beings who will speak hard truths to you despite your temper. Do you remember this?"

The crystal lit up with an image of me, Emily, and Asgotl. I looked angry. Emily, who was wrapped in my flying cloak looked miserable and she was shaking. Asgotl looked annoyed. The great dome on the Crystal Shrine of Tiki came into view. I remembered this afternoon. Emily had angered me. After she put her shoes on at my order, I had grabbed her and ungently slammed her onto the front of Asgotl's saddle. I bruised her and I knew I had frightened her but I had been so angry that I didn't care that she was trembling as we flew northward to Tiki's shrine.

"That's right," Mugash said with incredible sorrow, "you cared so much for your fit of rage that you let the most vulnerable being of your acquaintance, who you already knew was frightened of you, shake in fear of you for the half-bell flight. How was that not bullying, Aylem? This is what it was like."

My stomach knotted and I felt nauseous. The adrenalin surge was intense and made me dizzy as my ears rang. My legs fought for balance against the flying straps. I needed this to be over soon or I might pass out. Aylem was scary when she was like this. I didn't like it. All I wanted was to get away from her and the rest of these Cosm who screwed up my life at every turn.

Just as suddenly as I was inside Emily's head, I was myself again. I didn't like myself very much right at this moment. I had to admit that I had not handled Emily kindly that afternoon. Was I really that bad a bully?"

"While you were reveling in your anger and your power, Emily was suffering, one of the many times over the last year that she endured fear and despair, yes, despair, because she chose to rescue your children."

"Why shouldn't the Coyn harbor great fear for the Cosm who oppress them?" Mugash stated in a voice heavy with power. "When Emily was seven, this is what happened to her for picking up a piece of bread that fell on the ground, because she was hungry."

I had just gotten my bowl and bread. I saw a piece of bread that had fallen from the serving table, covered with dirt and mud, but I could brush that off. It would just get thrown out or left to disintegrate on the ground otherwise. I quickly crouched and picked it up, happy to have a little more to eat, to try and stop the endless hunger.

Something grabbed me from behind and threw me through the air. I was dazed after I hit the ground.

"Filthy, greedy piece of garbage," an angry Cosm halfhair man picked me up and shook me. "You know what the punishment is for stealing food."

In my fear, I couldn't even answer. In terror, I knew that I was about to die in horrible pain. The nasty Cosm men took me, stripped me of my smock, and tied me to the frame. Then they whipped me until I lost consciousness. It was the fourth time I had been whipped, but never for this offense which incurred 50 lashes.

It is one thing to know that these things happen and another to experience them. I now understood why Emily was so adamant that the Coyn must be free. I flexed my shoulders to assure myself that my own back wasn't sliced up and bleeding. Fifty lashes? That would kill about half of those who endured that severe a punishment. It would have been a mercy to...

"Yes, it would have been a mercy to let her die," Mugash remarked with regret, "but like you, we had already picked Emily and it was her place to endure."

Why? I wondered in anger. Why did the gods torture someone like this?

"Tools must be tempered, Aylem," Mugash replied with overtones of mourning, "or mended as we must mend you."

Despite my weakness from the fever, I heard the Cosm overseers talking outside my window, talking of needing more oil to start the fire. Bottomless fright took me to my feet and I ran, to the shock of my bunkmates to the far side of the building, into the necessary room. I picked up the boards, loose so they could be cleaned every day, from around one of the holes where we squatted and shat. I dived through into the reeking filth and scrambled to find a way out where I would not be seen, just as the overseers set the building on fire. It was their solution to the fever running through the underfed girls in this bunkhouse at the breeding farm.

The men were clustered on either end of the bunkhouse next to the doors. The girls who ran out to escape the flames became moving weapons practice, as the men tried to see who could neatly slice a fleeing Coyn in half.

I had almost gotten to the drainage ditch when someone yelled, "hey, Gaff, get that one." There was laughter, the sound of footsteps running towards me, and an explosion of pain on the side of my head. I woke half-submerged in the drainage ditch. The pain in my head was the worst I ever experienced during either of my lives.

I looked at the flat hexagonal charm gem embedded in my left hand and decided if I was going to die, I was going to die free. I took the charm gem between my teeth and bit it off my hand. Every cell in my body felt like it was on fire, like the burning bunkhouse and the smell of the burning bodies of my bunkmates, my friends in adversity, all dead.

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Lisaykos, Healing Shrine of Mugash

The scene today was almost the same as yesterday. I was already waiting outside the Well of Mugash at the sixth bell. I don't know how I knew, but I did. The crystal flared into life and the door into the Well opened for me.

Mugash was immobile on the Chair of Judgement and so was Aylem, eyes closed, kneeling on the gravel. Now and then, she whimpered or muttered something I couldn't understand. I found my courage and extended my hand toward her, only to receive an image of a younger Emily being whipped. We may have removed the scars from her skin, but I knew we would never remove the memories from Emily's mind.

Aylem let out a small scream which died down to a lingering whimper. Something had changed. I reached out again and saw the fire that haunts Emily's worst dreams. In just a breath, I had the gist of the entire incident. I knew from the look of the surroundings, that this was another illegal unregistered breeding farm.

I looked up at Mugash who was now looking back at me.

"She may not wake up this time for some hours," Mugash said. "You may put her to bed." Then she was gone and the light in the crystal went out. I carried the unconscious Aylem out of the shrine and looked up at Emily's frowning, thoughtful face between the railing posts on the fourth-floor walkway. I passed Aylem to Krukallos, who was ready and waiting today. Then I ran up the stairs to where Emily was waiting.

She was still sitting on the floor of the walkway studying the dispersing crowd that had gathered today, legs sticking out between the railings. When she looked at me, I picked her up and took her to my chair. I enjoyed the annoyed look she gave me as I wrapped her up and wrapped my arms around her.

I leaned my head back in my chair and exhaled, letting the tension drain out of my stiff shoulders. I had to admit I needed this right now more than Emily did.

"Wh...what horrible thing did Mugash inflict on Aylem today?" Emily asked in a very matter-of-fact voice.

I sighed, "the time you were given 50 lashes for picking up a dirty piece of bread with the intent to eat it because you were hungry."

"Huh," Emily closed her eyes and leaned her head back. "That's not as bad as six days on a ventilator. That should not have put her under."

"Then she was treated to the bunkhouse fire," I said. I felt eyes on me and turned my head to see Fassex in riding clothes in the doorway of my bedroom, an astounded expression on her face.

*Get out of sight right now, Fassex, quietly. The last time Emily was around you, she fainted from the fright you gave her. Now move!*

Fassex may be proud and overbearing but she is not stupid. She vanished before Emily noticed. If Fassex arrived unannounced, something bigger than Mugash was brewing. So much for some quiet time with Emily.

"Say, dear heart, I'm about to get some unexpected visitors," I hugged her and rested my chin on her head. "Can I pass you off to Wolkayrs and Thuorfosi for dinner?"

"Here, let me guess," she looked a little annoyed, "it's the invasion of the Convocation, yes?"

"I think so," I sighed.

"Not surprised, given the way the crystal has been behaving," Emily deduced. I mindcasted for Thuorfosi to fetch Emily. Then I put Emily down and we walked through my dining room to get to my study.

Fassex was there, pulling off her sheepskin leggings. With one leg yet to liberate, Fassex did a one-kneed obeisance at me, "May the blessings of the eleven gods be upon you, Great One."

I was still a bit rattled by someone as senior as Fassex making the obeisance of an inferior to me. "And also upon you, Holy One. You should have at least taken a moment to get out of your leggings, woman." She gave me a mischievous smile as a reply. Vixen! As I suspected, she was enjoying this.

Staying on one knee, she made the same respectful obeisance at Emily but she looked up in surprise when Emily said in her soft voice, "and al...so up...on y...you, Holy w...One."

"You're speaking!" Fassex smiled with true sincerity. "That's wonderful! It's only been a season and a half. Lisaykos, you're a miracle worker."

"It's the standard treatment for relearning speech after head trauma," I pointed out factually, "and Emily is both a fast learner and highly motivated."

"I have so much wanted to sit down and talk with you," Fassex said to Emily, pulling off the final sheepskin legging. Emily looked a bit intimidated.

"Not so fast, Fassex," I cautioned. "She not completely recovered yet."

"She looked well enough to me," said the high priestess who didn't even get hay fever.

"She'll truly be well when she can get up and down the stairs by herself, all three sets of stairs," I stated. "She's not even close yet."

Thuorfosi appeared in the doorway making her full obeisance, with perfect timing. She took Emily off to the main dining room downstairs on the second floor. The assembled healers adored it when she ate with them, much to her huge embarrassment. The staff had even made a special Emily chair so she could comfortably sit and eat at the tables.

"When are the others arriving?" I sat down behind my work table and scowled at Fassex.

"I expected most everyone north of Is'syal to be here already. It's snowing up north, has been since the fourth bell."

"Let me look," Foyuna strode in wearing her sheepskin, "as soon as I get out of this stuff."

That was the beginning of the other nine arriving unexpectedly, though I should have guessed this was going to happen. It made me more certain that we were entering a new age of divine intercession. The gods had not been this active in six centuries. Aylem was the first Great One in over 600 years, and now there was Emily and, to my consternation, myself. Frankly, given what I knew about the past lives of Aylem and Emily, I worried that some awful upheaval was on its way. Given that Emily would not reveal what the gods had told her, I was convinced of it.

The high priestesses had all received dream commands to be here tomorrow. Nice of the gods to warn me. My sisters wanted to spend the evening discussing what should be done about Aylem. I let them run on for a while and then pointed out to their collective dismay that it wasn't up to us. It was in the hands of Mugash who had proclaimed in front of witnesses that the form of Aylem's punishment was up to her, who had now directly intervened, and the end of that punishment was up to Emily.

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