《Binary Progression》Volume 8 - Chapter 16: An overcomplicated solution to a simple problem.
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When Zack opened his eyes, he found himself laying on the ground in a puddle of blood and spit.
The warm morning light entered through the small window slit and into the room.
The moss-coated walls of the cell the two found themselves in were vibrant as ever.
Jasper sat in the corner of the room, cradling his injured hand.
"You're up..." he hissed.
Zack remembered the events of the previous day and breathed a disappointed sigh.
"Yeah..."
Zack considered apologizing when Jasper stood up and moved over to him.
"Oh shit..." Zack thought, expecting another attack, instead, Jasper just sat down beside him and begrudgingly asked: "It's been a day, ready to try and figure a way out of here, yet?"
Zack was a little shocked by the change of attitude but decided not to let the chance slip.
"Yeah... but we need to think of a plan... We can't win against the dragon guy in a fair match..."
Jasper nodded quietly.
"Alright - here's the pan..."
"We'll call for the guard and say we need to use the bathroom!" he exclaimed.
Jasper folded his arms.
"How would that help us?" he asked.
"Well, we'll know the layout of the base - that'll make our escape easier!" he exclaimed.
Jasper's eyes widened.
"That makes sense..."
Zack nodded.
"Yep! Then we'll at least have an idea which way to go!" he exclaimed.
Jasper nodded.
"Alright... it's worth a try..."
He stood up and walked up to the bars of their cell, looking left and right, seeing the two adjacent cells which he assumed were empty.
"Hey..."
"I need to take a piss..." he yelled.
"Fuck off!" yelled the voice of the guard from the other room.
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Jasper's expression deflated into a frow.
"Damn..." Zack clicked his tongue.
Jasper turned around with an awkward expression.
"I... do kind of need to take a piss..." Jasper admitted.
His eyes wandered up to the small slit in the wall.
"..."
Zack followed his gaze and turned pale.
"THERE'S NO WAY YOU'LL BE ABLE TO PEE THAT FAR!" he exclaimed.
"I'M NOT GOING TO PISS FROM HERE!" Jasper yelled back.
He looked around the cell for anything to stand on, there was nothing.
"..."
"Hey, Zack..." Jasper began.
"What is it?" he asked, a little embarrassed from the pee-talk.
"Do you know how to do a hand-stand?" he asked.
In the adjacent room, Reggie, the guard read the book about mushrooms written by Bromy.
"Duuude..." he was smoke a selection of herbs from a wooden pipe.
"Hard to believe that's a person..." he muttered, gently caressing the image of a desert mushroom.
He took another puff of his herbs as the sound of the two, noisy and not to mention violent prisoners appeared again.
"Y-yeah! This is perfect! Just stay still!"
"PLEASE HURRY UP!"
"Don't rush me! It's difficult to piss with the sun in my eyes!"
"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING THROUGH THE PISS-HOLE?!"
"IT'S HELPING ME RELAX, OK!?" he demanded.
Confused, the guard stood up, feeling the full extent of the intoxicating substances he consumed for several days at this point.
"Why can't those two ever be quiet?" he asked himself, making his way over to their cell only to witness something.
"The perfect two-man handstand."
"Dear god..." he muttered.
Later that day...
"Ok - plan two!" Zack exclaimed.
"We use the key to open the door - we go to the guard from before and knock him out!"
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"We sneak our way through the base until we find a bathroom and go inside - you keep watch while I take a piss."
"I wash my hands and then we think of the next part of the plan!" he explained.
"..." Jasper looked at him with a wry expression.
"Sorry... I'm not willing to do a hand-stand..." Zack added awkwardly.
"Shouldn't we think of the next part of the plan now?!" Jasper demanded.
Zack clicked his tongue.
"Yeah... but I really need to take a piss..."
"JUST PISS OUTSIDE THE CELL!" Jasper cried.
"WHAT?! I CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S GROSS!"
"What if..."
"We pretend we died, the guards come in here to confirm - they dispose of our 'corpses' and then we sneak out into the forest and take a piss?" Jasper suggested.
Zack shook his head.
"No, that wouldn't work... they might check our pulses..." he explained.
Jasper clicked his tongue.
"You're right..."
Jasper stopped for a second.
"Wait..."
"What if we just kill ourselves?" he asked.
"..."
"..."
The two looked down to their feet.
"That's anticlimactic..." Zack remarked.
"It's their fault for not restraining us..." Jasper shrugged.
Several hours later, Cardilax, now wearing a spare hoodie and carrying an umbrella waled past the cell where Zack and Jasper hung themselves with their clothes.
"..."
"..."
"God damn it, Reggie! You had one job!"
He stomped over other to the guard room where Reggie, high as a kite, performing a handstand in the corner of the room, seemingly asleep.
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