JohnWillStab, Alex and Jordan sat around on the second story of the house, outside the window they saw the slimes gathering around the house.

"Guess they're not strong enough to break the house!" Jordan commented.

"Yeah, we blocked all of the entrances..." JohnWillStab sighed.

Alex was looking into space for a while now.

"I'll be right back, I need to empty the chalice," Alex said standing up and walking into a different room.

"What?" Asked JohnWillStab.

Alex sighed.

"Pee... I'm going to pee." he restated.

"Ah!" JohnWillStab exclaimed.

"Maybe we should piss on the slimes and see if they'll go away?" JohnWillStab asked jokingly.

"So what? They're like jellyfish?" asked Jordan.

"Isn't the piss for when they sting you? I don't think it repels them..." JohnWillStab said confused.

"No, no it's to scare them off," he replied.

"Isn't it slugs that you piss on to get them to leave?" Alexander chimed in.

"No, you use salt to get slugs to leave," JohnWillStab explained.

"Piss is salty, isn't it?"

"I guess..." JohnWillStab agreed.

"How do you know this?" Jordan asked looking at them both.

"...I mean... y'know... you just do!" Alex defended himself.

"Yeah!" JohnWillStab backed him up.

"Wait, maybe you're onto something..." JohnWillStab said standing up.

"What do you mean?"

"The slime is just liquid in a membrane, we might be able to kill them with salt!" JohnWillStab exclaimed.

"We don't have s-" Jordan began but stopped.

"You don't... you aren't actually telling us to..." Jordan was hesitant to finish his sentence.

"I AM!" he replied.

JohnWillStab tossed them a bottle of wine each.

"Drink up! We're going to need your bladders!" he explained.

Jordan caught his bottle and took a deep breath before drinking from it.

"What about you?" he demanded.

"You want to see a pretty girl piss on a tentacle monster, what are you some pervert?" he asked putting on a wry expression.

"THAT TRICK WON'T WORK A SECOND TIME!"

"Alright, alright!" John apologized.

"I can't piss as an undead... but how do I-"

"Vitamins," he exclaimed.

"What?" Jordan asked.

"I ate too many vitamins and a few got stuck in my bladder, now I don't pee," he explained.

Jordan sighed.

"Wouldn't the vitamin be dissolved by the acid in urine?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, no, you see, I don't drink acid," JohnWillStab explained.

"I am so done with you people..." Jordan downed the entire bottle in an instant and turned around to do his business into said bottle.

Alex did the same.

"Alright, now toss a bit of this in," JohnWillStab added handing both of them some large salt crystals.

"Gross..." Alex sighed before adding the salt.

"Now, here's the plan..." JohnWillStab began as he moved towards one of the barricaded windows.

"WE RUN!" he exclaimed kicking the barricades down and jumping on the window, he was quickly followed by the other two.

"Aren't we fighting the monster?!" Jordan demanded.

"LESS TALKING MORE WALKING!" he exclaimed as he sprinted forward.

The slimes followed them.

They made it to the cobblestone road once more and took a sharp turn to the left.

"Alex! Throw your piss!" he commanded.

"I can't believe the great Alex is reduced to this..." he mumbled before throwing the open bottle at the slimes, the slimes that were sprayed directly shrivelled up like raisins before the rock-hard membrane shattered into dust.

The next dozen or so slimes that wiggled over the piss-puddle was also killed before the piss-AOE wore off.

"Jo- Jane, do you have an actual plan?" Alex asked.

"Yeah! Of course!" JohnWillStab replied still running.

Alex turned to Jordan who was already struggling to breathe.

"Do you have anything to drink?" Alex asked.

"All the pissing got me dehydrated," he added.

Jordan replied in between gasps "Yeah... we... I still have... a thing of... water..." he replied.

"Mind if I borrow it?" Alex asked.

"Go... ahead..." he tossed him the water skin.

JohnWillStab pointed ahead.

"The werebull farm! They have a load of salt in the barn!" he exclaimed.

Jordan looked back.

"We won't... make it! They're... closing in!" he exclaimed as JohnWillStab felt Alex rummaging around his pocket.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he demanded.

"Aha!" he pulled out two bottles of booze, with his teeth, he pulled the cork out and downed them both before following up with the water from the water skin.

"You better not include this part when you're telling others about your adventures!" Alex warned as he spun around on his heel turning one-eighty degrees.

He unzipped his trousers and drew the two swords from his back, bringing him to a total of three.

"What the fuck... are you doing?!" Jordan demanded.

Alex looked back with a grin.

"FEAR NOT, JORDAN! I WON'T BE TAKEN DOWN BY SLIMES!".

With that Jordan and JohnWillStab hopped over the fence as Alex stayed behind.

As his party left earshot, Alex's smug smile disappeared.

He pissed from left to right so as to create a barrier of piss.

"NONE OF YOU IS CROSSING THIS LINE!" he exclaimed before slashing at his first foe, as the slimes came at him, he swung his blade at them, when a larger wave came he coated his blade in azure flames.

Whenever a slime came too close to the piss border he "sniped" them from afar with a stream of golden retribution.

"Not good! I'm starting to dry out here!" he thought glancing back to see JohnWillStab, Arachnophobia and Jordan charging in their direction, they were rolling a massive barrel in front of them.

"Oh... good... I can finally... stop... humiliating myself." he dropped his blades zipped his trousers up before falling face-first onto the ground.

He wasn't dead or anything, just very dehydrated.

"Alex! Hang in there!" Jordan called out as JohnWillStab and him made it to the cobblestone road with the barrel.

Inside was a large supply of rainwater mixed with salt from the barn.

In the distance, the last of the slime wave finally came into view.

Together JohnWillStab and Jordan rolled the barrel towards them before Jordan aimed his staff at it and with the bolt of liquid fire he caused the water to vaporise creating a massive explosion of steam, saltwater, and salt crystals which sprayed down on every slime and rained down on the local area.

They all died leaving membranes all over the place.

"We did it!" JohnWillStab exclaimed.

"The only alcohol in the world that didn't taste like piss... and we pissed on it..." JohnWillStab thought somberly as he sat down and breathed a sigh of relief.