"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING UP EXTENSIONS FOR EVERYTHING!? HOW FUCKING MANY DO YOU NEED?!" Crown complained writing her eighth decompilers.

JohnWillStab delivered her a steady supply of energy drinks to keep her awake as the rest tried to brainstorm a way to keep JohnWillStab alive.

"Food can last a while in salt! What if I get into a salt bath?" John asked.

"Yeah, that's a great idea, that way your already dead body won't rot. Besides salt kills you too!" Bromy exclaimed.

"Alright..." JohnWillStab replied looking down and thinking some more.

"What about honey?"

"John for the love of God, stop!" Bromy exclaimed.

"Sorry!..."

A while of silence occurred as JohnWillStab sat in the middle of the room eating noodles.

Bromy took out his phone and look at the news feed, "It's starting..." He sighed.

"What does thou mean?" Bonifacius asked turning to look at the phone.

"16 cases of dead, decomposing bodies found still at their computers." read the article.

"Maybe they're just normal corpses?" JohnWillStab asked.

Bromy cleared his throat.

"A statement from one of the victim's mother is as follows: 'He was alright this morning, I came into his room because of the smell, he was sitting at his computer desk, playing some sort of game, his skin was practically melting off!' "

"That's horrible!" Bonifacius exclaimed.

"The fact is the Undead in the game are not decomposing thanks to magic, guess their organs just stop on Earth." Bromy shrugged.

"Oh well." JohnWillStab shrugged.

The two turned towards him.

"What do you mean?" Bonifacius asked.

"I mean that's it. I have two-ish days to live." JohnWillStab shrugged.

"Woah, woah, when was dying brought up!?" demanded the thief planting a light karate chop on his head.

"You really weren't listening, were you?" Bromy sighed.

"JohnWillStab is playing this one game..." Bromy began to explain.

"Mhm." the thief nodded.

"And in it, he plays as an undead with a dagger." he continued.

"Undead?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Like a walking corpse," Bromy explained.

"Oh, a zombie," she exclaimed.

"Right... anyway, people who play the game are becoming what they play in the game."

"Yup." she nodded.

"So JohnWillStab will be an undead in real life."

"Oh, so he'll be a zombie! Man, you people sure like doing that 'roleplaying' thing." she laughed.

Bromy tossed her his phone.

"Nope," he exclaimed.

"When JohnWillStab becomes and undead for real he'll just become a corpse since undead are magical," he explained.

The thief read over the article.

"Wait, so you're trying to actually tell me, you will become what you play in the game?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Thank god I chose a human." she laughed.

The room became silent as Bromy, Bony and John turned to look at the thief.

"YOU GOT HER THE GAME TOO!?!" Bromy demanded.

"SHE GOT IT HERSELF!" JohnWillStab defended himself.

"At last! A fellow human!" Bonifacius exclaimed extending a hand over to the thief awaiting a high-five.

"Ahem!" Bromy gave Bonifacius a dirty look.

"Ah, yes sorry, JohnWillStab." he looked a little embarrassed.

"Fuck him, I mean I play a human too!" he complained.

"Whoo hoo! Human-gang!" the thief offered a two-way high-five which both Bromy and Bonifacius accepted gladly.

"Alright, now that I'm included, we can return to the issue at hand..." Bromy began.

"Right, so... can't we just get JohnWillStab to delete the game?" asked the thief.

"No, there's no way to avoid the transformation..." Bromy sighed.

A ding came from Bromy's phone.

"Oh, another one."

He clears his throat, "People panicking on the streets as what they describe as 'permanent fish-costumes' spontaneously appeared on them." he laughed.

"Oh, oh! 'Two people murdered by a man in an orc costume with terrifying strength.' " Bromy exclaimed laughing at journalists not knowing the difference between an orc and an ogre.

"So wait, John isn't going to... like... die die?" asked the thief interrupting Bromy's reading.

"Yeah, no, he is... looks like he made his peace with the idea." Bromy shrugged gesturing over to JohnWillStab who was playing Candy-Smash on his phone with one hand whilst eating soup with his other.

"No point being upset if my death is certain," he replied.

"Well, I am upset!" she complained.

"I can't have a loser like you drop dead here, I'd have a bad taste in my mouth when I came to rob the new owners," she replied.

"Oh, don't worry about that, you and the others are going to be sent into the other world." JohnWillStab pointed out.

"What?" she asked.

"Oh, right - everyone who played the game will be sent into the other world in like... two days?" Bromy replied.

"I agree with JohnWillStab's friend! We cannot give up! Tis literally a matter of life and death!" Bonifacius announced sounding almost angry.

"Relax, I'm really alright with this!" JohnWillStab replied trying to calm everyone down.

"WELL I'M NOT!" Bonifacius and the thief exclaimed in unison.

"People, I'm sure most of us want to save JohnWillStab, but there is really nothing we can do!"

"By sitting around we achieve nothing! A fraction of a percent is always a better chance than zero!" Bonifacius argued.

"Don't give yourself or the girl hope if he's going to die anyway." Bromy sighed scrolling through his phone.

"The best thing you can do right now is ask him how he wants to spend his last days," Bromy said coldly.

Nobody said anything for a long time, JohnWillStab was awkwardly tapping away at his phone.

"God damn it, Bony! I'm trying to be nice here!" Bromy sighed.

"Hmmm... remember what Malagmus said, if people still question you, and a metaphore won't work, make up a sad story with a child!" Bromy thougth.

"That may be true but-" Bonifacius tried to argue but was cut off by Bromy.

"Do you know why I don't work at a hospital anymore, why I sit around in the middle of nowhere dealing with idiots shoving different objects in different orifices, L- ... Bonifacius?"

He shook his head.

"Because of stupid ideas like the one you insist on!"

"I was taking care of this one kid, he had the fucking worst immune system, as in he had to be in a special air-tight room with a changing-room in between his room and the outside."

"Poor bastard was sick all his life, but his health was just going down-hill exponentially faster."

"Now, by all means with the proper treatment, we were able to keep him alive for another two years, the whole time he was asking to see his family and friends."

"Naturally I decided to put his survival first, so he spent the two years with little to no contact with the outside world, as you'd expect the parents were all for extending his life."

"One night, specifically around midnight, he got a fever, he insisted we contact his family."

"He was so sure he was going to die he might as well have been a fortune teller because as he predicted, he passed away alone at around four AM."

For the first time since the start of his story, Bromy looked up and met the gaze of Bonifacius and the thief.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't waste the last moment's of JohnWillStab's time arguing over whether or not you should keep him in salt or honey."

"There is always vinegar," Pedecree replied as he walked in with a plate of sandwiches, John didn't question where he found the materials.

Bromy's expression did a one-eighty as he looked over to Pedecree "Oh shit, food!" he was afraid he'd be stuck eating exclusively soup while staying over at JohnWillStab's home.

"I overheard your conversation... and I believe I know what JohnWillStab's stance on the matter is." Pedecree laughed.

Everyone turned to JohnWillStab.

"Like I said, I'm alright with dying." He replied.

"Don't you want to go spend some time with family or go see some friends, I'm sure we could get Pedecree to give you a lift to at least say goodbye," Bromy asked looking over to Pedecree who nodded.

"Let me see... I doubt my dad would want to see me, I got a sister somewhere but it's not like I really know her..." JohnWillStab replied.

"As for friends... I guess I have the thief who breaks into my house all the time..." He sighed.

"I'll go see the delinquents and the shop owner when the sun comes out," he added.

"When crown finished up with the computer I'll let RuRet and Mobleous know I'm gonna die."

"I suppose it'd be a bit cold not to consider you all friends after you tracked down my house to warn me of potential death," he concluded.

"It would indeed," Bonifacius replied cracking a sombre smile.

"Seriously, I mean we met like... two months ago, at most. You people are weird!" he laughed.

"Well, you seem to have a trait for attracting all sorts of weird people." Pedecree shrugged.

"I guess I kind of regret leaving you guys alone in the guild." he began.

"It's alright, we've all been through the edgy-world-destroying-phase." Pedecree shrugged.

"Yeah, I created as massive tentacle monster that used tentacles assimilate everyone." Bromy laughed.

Nobody said anything since they couldn't top Bromy's thing.

Several hours later, Crown stumbled out of JohnWillStab's room, Bonifacius' phone in hand.

"I did it..." she announced proudly.

"You made it so John can save a few NPCs?" Bromy asked.

"Nope... I one-upped our expectations!... " she didn't elaborate before passing out and smashing her head through a painting on the wall.

"Your friend here has done the impossible," Lorb exclaimed.

"She hacked into the game server, from there I was able to patch the game to recogniser the NPCs as players... I have no idea if they'll be sentient... but it's the best we could do..." his voice started to break down towards the end.

"Looks like that was a little much for this machine." he laughed, his message distorting towards the end again.

Lorb looked over to Bonifacius.

"I think I fried your phone, sorry about that." Lorb laughed as the screen went black with a puff of smoke.