《Binary Progression》Volume 2 - Chapter 16: Dress-up micicry
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XPhaxX: Prepare to be trolled, roleplayer! he said as he laughed loudly enough to alert the nearby players and sentient NPCs.
Kevin: Don't you find this whole deal suspicious? he asked following XPhaxX, he walked with his hands in the pockets of what looked like a lab-coat.
XPhaxX walked through the streets towards the palace, he turned his head towards Kevin and shrugged, XPhaxX: Nope.
As they made their way towards the palace they saw a group of armoured soldiers, players and NPCs alike, dressed in white armours with fur trims and hoods.
XPhaxX: Damn, this place seems pretty busy today...
Kevin: Yep, as if it was a scam.
XPhaxX: It's not a scam, Kevin! he complained as he marched his way towards the palace. Kevin followed him.
Immediately he was stopped by one of the guards.
GuGurMul: Sorry, bud. Can't let you inside now.
Immediately another guard one approached him.
Muskrtea: Are you the guy that works for Durlnn?
XPhaxX: That's right!
The first guard turned towards them in confusion.
GuGurMul: You know them?
Muskrtea: Yeah, they're the... chefs for today. he bluffed as he gave them a wink.
After a while of silence, XPhaxX replied.
XPhaxX: That's right, we're the "chefs" for today.
XPhaxX returned the wink.
A silence followed.
GuGurMul: Why did he say chefs in quotes?
Muskrtea played the /facepalm emote.
Kevin stepped up, Kevin: Yeah, we're here to check for poison in the food, I'm a level 99 alchemist. he explained, technically the part about his alchemist subclass was true, the rest was made up.
GuGurMul: A level 99 alchemist?! I'm sorry for stopping you and your servant!
"Servant?!" XPhaxX though angerly, but decided to ignore the rude comment.
He moved out of the way, immediately followed by Muskrtea who moved out too.
As he and XPhaxX made their way into the marble halls of the palace, decorated with fine red carpets and massive stained glass windows XPhaxX spoke up.
XPhaxX: You are a master troll you know that!?
Kevin turned towards him with a confused look.
Kevin: What do you mean? I just lied to them.
XPhaxX: No, you trolled them! he exclaimed as he used the /high-five emote which Kevin did not return.
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Kevin: ...
XPhaxX: Come on man, don't leave me hanging!
Kevin: ...
XPhaxX: I'm not putting my hand down until you give me a high-five!
With that Kevin walked away into what looked like a bathroom, XPhaxX followed him, seeing that he locked himself in a bathroom stall.
XPhaxX: Come on man! I literally can't put my hand down!
Kevin: ...
Kevin left the bathroom stall with a click of the lock and a sigh, Kevin: Fine, come here...
XPhaxX: ...
XPhaxX took a step back.
Kevin: What?
XPhaxX: Wash your hands first.
Kevin: It's just a game man.
XPhaxX: Yes, and you have virtual bacterial on your virtual hands, so wash them with virtual water.
Kevin: Stop it, let's go to work!
XPhaxX took another step backwards.
XPhaxX: Nah, man - that's gross, wash your hands!
He backed away even further until he was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, from behind a voice came.
Bulgars: I'm sorry, I need to use the bathroom.
A man dressed in fancy white clothes, a cloak and crown.
XPhaxX: Oh, sorry.
He moved out of the way,
Both XPhaxX and Kevin breathed a sigh as they realised their situation, they were arguing over a high five and turned to leave, accidentally Kevin brushed his unwashed hands against Bulgars who fell face-first onto the ground, smashing his face on the nearby faucet releasing a torrent of blood as poison particles surrounded him.
Both Kevin and XPhaxX turned towards him with an "Oh fuck..." look as a voice came from behind the door.
Maskaroni: Ambassador? Are you in there?
Immediately they started to panic.
"Ambassador?!?!?!"
Maskaroni opened the door to the bathroom slowly revealing the ambassador standing there with a bloodstain on his clothes.
Maskaroni: Are you alright, ambassador?
He nods silently.
Maskaroni: Alright, we should go to the meeting now.
He nodded again.
He received a private message from Kevin.
Kevin: I can't believe it worked...
XPhaxX: Thank god the clothes fit...
XPhaxX was pretending to be the ambassador when in reality the ambassador was locked in the bathroom with Kevin, unconscious.
Kevin: Just, don't say anything in chat, or they'll read your name!
XPhaxX: I guess I'll have to use emotes...
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Maskaroni: Is everything really alright?
XPhaxX nodded.
Maskaroni: Is someone in the bathroom?
XPhaxX shook his head.
Splashing came from inside the stall.
Maskaroni: What's going on inside!? he moved towards the stall before being stopped by the "ambassador".
Maskaroni: What is it, ambassador?
XPhaxX was panicking, he started playing a random list of emotes.
/bow
/crouch
/cry
/beg
/jump
/scream
/roar
/fear
/scream
Midway through another gurgled scream came from the toilet.
Maskaroni looked at the ambassador, now in tears and looked at the toilet which was leaking water and blood.
He put a hand on the "ambassador's" shoulder.
Maskaroni: I understand, sir... there is no need for words...
Meanwhile, in the private chat.
XPhaxX: WHAT THE F#*K ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!? WHY IS THERE BLOOD!?
Kevin: I'M TRYING TO DISPOSE OF THE BODY!
XPhaxX: DISPOSE HOW?!
Kevin: What do you mean!? There's only one way to dispose of anything in the toilet!
With another splash of blood which sprayed onto the ceiling and pooled under the toilet, the body was gone with a flush.
After the horrible gargled noise of the flush (and the man being flushed) the room went silent.
Maskaroni and the "ambassador" looked at each other before XPhaxX played the /pray emote.
Maskaroni did the same.
Maskaroni: Let's hope it's over... he said before escorting the "ambassador" outside and bringing him to the meeting room.
As they entered the room they saw six seats, at one sat "YTyeop", she sat at one table, she represented the "Ajuan half army" opposite her sat "HaremHarry" representing the "Ajuan eropire".
Beside them sat CakeKin and Tickidy, representing "trade rash" and "south Arlepia alliance" respectively.
One seat was empty, reserved for the head of the JGuardians.
And a seat was reserved for the representative of Kearudown, the ambassador, XPhaxX.
YTyeop: You took you time...
XPhaxX played the /shrug emote.
HaremHarry: No need to be a hoe about this. he replied shooting XPhaxX a thumbs up.
YTyeop: Harry I will skin you.
HaremHarry turned towards XPhaxX and in a hushed voice said:HaremHarry: She loves me. followed by a stupid grin.
YTyeop: Harry, not even your fu#*ing parents love you, much less anyone here.
His character bent backwards until he fell off from his chair, HaremHarry: So cold!
Tickidy: How are those two faction leaders?!
HaremHarry: Charisma! Empathy and Love!
YTyeop: A good strategy and fighting skills.
CakeKin: Guys, stop wasting time! I could be making gold right now if not for this pointless meeting!
HaremHarry: Awww come on CakeKin, you like hanging out with me, right?!
CakeKin: I think I'd rather deep-throat a cactus.
Tickidy: And we can't have you taking action independent of our alliances.
YTyeop: Are you alright, man? she asked looking at XPhaxX who was practically having a heart attack.
CakeKin: Maybe he has a sore throat?
Seeing the perfect opportunity he played the /nod emote.
Tickidy: People! We are here because we are all at risk!
CakeKin: Yes the sPoOkY mInD cOnTrOlLiNg UnDeAd is a massive problem. she laughed.
YTyeop chimed in,
YTyeop: Yeah, like that one time we were all in danger of the "giant Mayonaise goblin".
HaremHarry: It's best to be prepared right? he replied with a casual shrug.
YTyeop: Or the time we were told NPCs are becoming sentient.
HaremHarry: Nonsense, but even if they were, it's not like they're human. he replied with an uncanny grin which he immediately disguised with a glass of wine which sat next to him.
YTyeop shot him a glare to which he replied with a wink and a chuckle.
YTyeop: Whatever the case, we can't react to every urban legend or myth with a f#*king meeting!
Tickidy: The fact is, many players are missing, they are reported as online most of the time, but they don't respond to any form of communication.
The groups gaze shifted to XPhaxX.
YTyeop: It's total bull, right? she turned to XPhaxX.
"I don't know what they're talking about, but I need to get this trolling done ASAP before they stop roleplaying!"
A private message came to him from Kevin.
Kevin: You are not very convincing...
XPhaxX: You can see me!?
Kevin: I'm in the vents above. he replied.
XPhaxX looked up and as promised Kevin was looking down at him eating what looked like a bowl of fried shrimp.

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