《Binary Progression》Volume 1 - Chapter 21: Maths
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After the celebrations wrapped up the party travelled back to the undead starting zone where they completed a few basic quests bringing JohnWillStab up to level 10.
JohnWillStab was covered in green spider blood particles as he stood before the spider-quest NPC.
"JohnWillStab: Well, the giant spiders might be one step closer to extinction - so that's good, plus I got a new spell!"
"Bonifacius: Thou hast acquired a spell at level then? Tis most unusual..."
JohnWillStab looked down to the spell seeing that it had a simple "?" icon and a description which read as follows, "I had no idea what kind of spell I should put here, promise we'll get it sorted before the beta is out :)"
A sudden feeling of disappointment came over him.
"JohnWillStab: I'm starting to feel like this game is more broken than expected..."
"♕: You guys get blank spells too?"
"JohnWillStab: I guess this would be considered a blank spell?"
"♕: Hol' up - lemme check..."
JohnWillStab felt a sudden intrusion of privacy as she said that.
♕ worked her usual wizardry to see that JohnWillStab did, in fact, have a blank spell called "WIP#1244" - from the looks of it the spell had no other attributes.
"♕: Sorry to disappoint, but it really is just a useless spell."
"JohnWillStab: Aww..."
"XxFoxlyxX: It's alright, fam - we all go through that phase where we thought we're special because of a blank spell..."
"JohnWillStab: You get those too?"
"XxFoxlyxX: I have five."
"♕: I only have two."
The party's focus shifted to Bonifacius,
"Bonifacius: Tis not important! Let's keep going!"
"♕: Don't make me check myself..."
Bonifacius recoils in shock!
"Bonifacius: Alright, alright - I shall tell thee! Tis seventeen."
"JohnWillStab: ...."
"♕: ...."
"XxFoxlyxX: Do you... like... have any spell, fam?"
"Bonifacius: About twenty spell!"
"JohnWillStab: Do any of you guys know what an auxiliary class is?"
"XxFoxlyxX: Like werewolves?"
"Bonifacius: Or vampires!"
"XxFoxlyxX: I've never seen one anyway."
"♕: I guess you finally decided to read up on the game online, huh?"
J"ohnWillStab: Nah some weird guy told me about it."
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"Bonifacius: Was it a vampire?!"
JohnWillStab: I don't think so?
XxFoxlyxX: A werewolf?
JohnWillStab: He looked like a regular undead.
♕: Probably just a pervert then.
"JohnWillStab: I dunno, he dragged me to some shack and whipped some tentacles around."
"XxFoxlyxX: ..."
"Bonifacius: ..."
♕ couldn't type "..." because she was actively on the floor laughing.
"JohnWillStab: What?"
"XxFoxlyxX: John, what did the man do with his "tentacle"?"
♕ was suffocating, but the need to laugh was greater than the pain in the lungs.
"JohnWillStab: He blocked the door and tangled me up with them, is that important?"
Foxly was actively laughing as he wrote, but unlike ♕ - he could still type.
"XxFoxlyxX: Ah, I see a bitta' bondage."
"JohnWillStab: I mean, technically I guess."
"XxFoxlyxX: ...."
"XxFoxlyxX: You're really not getting what I'm saying?"
"JohnWillStab: I mean, I'm just asking if you guys heard of auxiliary classes."
"XxFoxlyxX: ...."
"XxFoxlyxX: John, how old are you?"
"JohnWillStab: I'll be turning 28 on the 8th, why?"
"XxFoxlyxX: ...."
"XxFoxlyxX: WHAT!?"
"JohnWillStab: ?"
"XxFoxlyxX: Nevermind BDSM - I though you're younger than me!"
"JohnWillStab: SINCE WHEN WAS BDSM ON THE TABLE!?"
"JohnWillStab: ESPECIALLY IF I'M YOUNGER THAN YOU!"
"♕: Ah this is fantastic, John is being harassed by Foxly whilst Bonifacius watches."
"Bonifacius: That's not funny!"
"♕: I can imagine the title of the video already, "Frog se#*ally assaults corpse whilst man watches.""
"XxFoxlyxX: I'm more concerned about what kind of p*#no uses "whilst" in the title."
"♕: Alright - I'll write it your way!"
"♕: "LEG-FISH F*#K DEAD AND BEARD MAN WATCH""
"JohnWillStab: WHY ARE YOU COMING UP WITH A TITLE FOR A P#*NO!?"
"XxFoxlyxX: It's the most important part of the video!."
"♕: It's the most important part of the video!"
"JohnWillStab: Tentacles, BDSM, frogs and corpses - I'm not interested in taking part in your p#*no... fu*#ing perverts..."
"♕: ..."
"XxFoxlyxX: ..."
♕ and XxFoxlyxX exchanged a look of understanding through the very fabric of reality, as if they were looking through the eyes of their characters.
"JohnWillStab: How old did you guys think I was, anyway?"
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"Bonifacius: No more than twenty."
"XxFoxlyxX: ...like 16"
"♕: 12"
"JohnWillStab: Well, what about you guys?"
"XxFoxlyxX: Ya boi is 20"
"Bonifacius: My thirty-fourth year shall end soon."
"♕: It's rude to ask a lady her age!"
"JohnWillStab: And it's rude to rope people into amateur po#*os."
"♕: Ughh fine..."
"♕: √625"
"JohnWillStab: DAMN you're old!"
"♕: IT'S NOT IN YEARS!"
"JohnWillStab: Then why is there a "y" next to the number?"
"♕: IT STANDS FOR SQUARE ROOT, DUMB#*S!"
"JohnWillStab: Oh I getcha!"
A silence filled the chat.
"♕: You... do know how to solve that right?"
Silence once more filled the chat.
"♕: John, how do we get a square number?"
"JohnWillStab: ...we give it four sides?"
"♕: ...have you... been to school?"
"JohnWillStab: I dropped out... early...."
♕ inhaled very deeply in real life.
"♕: Listen closely, you son of a b#!ch... to get any number squared, we multiply it by itself."
"Bonifacius: In other words bring it to a power of 2."
"♕: Exactly!"
"JohnWillStab: ...hold on... so 5 times 5 is five squared?"
"♕: Yeah!"
"JohnWillStab: Can't I just say 25?"
"♕: You can, but how in the ever-loving f*#k do you intent to work backwards?!"
"JohnWillStab: If a square number is a number by itself, I'll just divide it by itself to get back to the first number."
JohnWillStab proceeded to try his technique of dividing 625 by 625, which to his credit - he solved quickly.
"How does this man pay his bills? Does he have a house? Did he lie about his age? Did a cat learn to play the game and is now using it as an excuse to learn and take over the world?" ♕ thought.
"JohnWillStab: How the hell are you typing at 1 year old?!"
"♕: I WILL TRACK YOU IP AND STAB YOU!"
"JohnWillStab: Just tell me your age like a normal human!"
"♕: No - this isn't about the age anymore - I will not have a person like you in this god-forsaken world!"
"XxFoxlyxX: I just use the calculator on my phone for square roots and the stuff - doesn't everybody?"
"Bonifacius: I do indeed use a calculator when that need arises."
"♕: He tried to find the square root of a number by dividing it by itself! There is no excuse!"
"Bonifacius: There is nothing wrong with experimentation, besides finding square roots manually is rarely taught in schools anymore."
"How would he know that?" John thought before being approached by ♕ again.
"♕: Alright, you absolute dumb-f#*k, I will tell you how to solve the problem and you do it!"
"JohnWillStab: Alright..." John was basically crying at this point.
"♕: Find the 2 numbers that make up 625."
"JohnWillStab: ...but there are 3 of them..."
"♕: John... I have you address recorded on my PC now, I will find you if you don't solve this."
JohnWillStab looked out his window in fear before rushing over to close the blinds.
"JohnWillStab: 62 and 5?"
"♕: Wrong."
"JohnWillStab: 6 and 25?"
"♕: Wrong."
John was stuck, he was sitting cross-armed at his desk occasionally sniffling a little.
"♕: Tick-tock, John - tick-tock."
"JohnWillStab: I'M STUCK!"
"♕: YOU WILL BE STUCK WHEN I COME TO YOU FU#!ING HOUSE AND BUST YOUR KNEECAPS!"
A private message came from Bonifacius - before he could read it ♕ deleted the message.
"♕: No cheating!"
"Alright, think, think - ...wait, I know it! It's a square root!"
"JohnWillStab: I'm trying to get the square root? So I'll just multiply 625 by 625 - so now we have 625 squared."
"JohnWillStab: And 625 - 625 squared is just "squared""
♕ was speechless - she refused to believe that he not only pulled the "solution" out of his ass - but also got it wrong since it should be "minus squared" if anything."

"♕: Nevermind, I give up."
"♕: I quit."
♕ logged off.
"JohnWillStab: Yeah - I think I'll go too, I need to lock my doors, see you guys."
JohnWillStab logged off.
"Bonifacius: ..."
"XxFoxlyxX: Well this is awkward..."
"Bonifacius: Indeed."
"XxFoxlyxX: She's bossy for a 25-year-old."
"Bonifacius: M-hmmm..."
The two logged off and went to sleep soon after.
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