《Binary Progression》Volume 1 - Chapter 14: BONE SNAKE

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"Bonifacius: Look'th out for the AOE!"

The colossal humanoid with what looked like skin made from steel plates and eight massive arms, each with a disproportionally large palm started casting some sort of spell.

From above, rained rocks and stalactites shattering into rocks which only served as further obstacles for about ten seconds or so before fading away.

A cloud of dust obscured everybody’s vision to the point that with every seconds dodging the AOE was getting harder.

"JohnWillStab: Alright! Is he safe to just attack up close?"

JohnWillStab was activating his sprint skill to dodge the rubble from above, the only indication of which was the round shadows which appeared on the ground moments before impact.

"XxFoxlyxX: Should be fine, looks out for when he's about to stomp the ground tho!"

"JohnWillStab: Ok!"

JohnWillStab closed the distance between him and the boss quickly, seeing that he was preoccupied casting the ability Roof Tremors which was presumably the spell making it rain rocks.

JohnWillStab unleashed his kicks and stab combo, occasionally adding in a gut-punch which didn't really do anything since boss monster's abilities can't be interrupted by players.

"These retards keep splitting up! How the fuck am I supposed to heal them like this?!" ♕ thought seeing that only XxFoxlyxX was within healing range, luckily since the current phase of the fight was a glorified bullet-hell game their health was alright... for now.

♕ was looking at the battlefield and observing the different strategies of her team, Bonifacius: Dodge the big rocks and take the small ones head-on, Foxly: Stay in place and only move if there is a rock literally above him, JohnWillStab... ♕ wasn't sure what JohnWillStab was doing...

JohnWillStab dodged the rubble but by just the tiniest gap, in this broken-ass game it's risky to get so close to the item, most game devs use the same collision field for different projectiles to save space... then again the game is 80 gigabytes...

The more ♕ looked at JohnWillStab's movements the more she realised what he was doing, he was getting as close to the projectiles as possible... on purpose?

"♕: John, WTF ARE YOU DOING!?"

"JohnWillStab: ?"

"♕: What are you doing with those rocks?! Is that some secret rock-dodging technique pass down the WillStab family for decades? Or are you just f*#king re#!rded!?"

"JohnWillStab: I'm applying a technique I learned in a different game!"

"♕: What game had you dodging rocks!?"

"XxFoxlyxX: He's not just dodging them... he's getting the graze counter up!"

"♕: The what?!?"

"JohnWillStab: You know the game foxly!?"

"XxFoxlyxX: Toehoe, right?"

"JohnWillStab: That right! Beat the game on lunatic difficulty, no bombs!"

"XxFoxlyxX: My level of respect for you just increased drastically, fam."

"Bonifacius: Thou should focus on the fight!"

"JohnWillStab: Right!"

"♕: Yeah - no, same - my respect for you two has doubled!"

"XxFoxlyxX: Why do I feel she's lying?"

"♕: Jokes on you, 2(0) is still 0!"

The boss lifted its leg into the air - ready to crush the distracted JohnWillStab.

...

...

And that's it, the boss didn't bring its foot down, it just stood there, frozen.

"JohnWillStab: Is my game lagging or...?"

"XxFoxlyxX: My ping jumped really high for a second but it's normal now..."

In any game where a client (player) joins a server, there is something call ping - essentially a number that works like an echo, the longer it takes the signal from the player's game to the server and back - the higher the ping!

High ping generally means a bad/slow connection and as a result, lag.

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"♕: You can read the chat can't you? The server should be running fine."

"JohnWillStab: A hacker?"

"♕: Could be, although it's most likely just a server thing."

"Bonifacius: Alas! Tis our opportunity to strike!"

"XxFoxlyxX: Right!"

XxFoxlyxX spent the next five minutes laying out seals, regenerating mana and then planting more seals.

"XxFoxlyxX: Right bois, I'll detonate them!"

"Bonifacius: Go ahead!"

Bonifacius cast his defensive stance and awaited the boss' retaliation.

The explosion shook their screens but aside from taking away about half of the boss' health - they did nothing, the quarry master kept standing there, completely frozen.

The party spend the next twenty or so minutes chipping away at the monster's health with fairy flies, kicks, stabs and sword slashes, their efforts only amounting to half the damage of the explosion.

"JohnWillStab: This is... anticlimactic..."

"Bonifacius: Indeed - but we shouldn't turn our nose at the charity of the lag gods."

"XxFoxlyxX: I'd love to help but my mana's too low."

XxFoxlyxX smiles smugly.

"Bonifacius: We best think of a way to pass the time quickly!"

"XxFoxlyxX: What do you suggest?"

"♕: Watch videos online..."

"Bonifacius: We still need to hit the boss, so videos don't really work here..."

"JohnWillStab: I dunno, what can we do that doesn't get in the way of beating the boss...?"

"Bonifacius: We'll play word-chain! Thous must give a word starting with the last letter of the person before you."

"JohnWillStab: I guess that works..."

"XxFoxlyxX: That's something..."

"♕: I think I like the video idea more..."

"Bonifacius: Come on! It'll be fun!"

"♕: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine"

"Bonifacius: Alright! I'll start!"

"Bonifacius: Boss"

"JohnWillStab: Statue"

"XxFoxlyxX: Engravement"

"♕: ᛏᚨᛚᛚ."

"Bonifacius: ..."

"Bonifacius: Could thou use English words? Else we stand no match!"

"XxFoxlyxX: She wrote tall in runes... but she literally just got the sounds of the runes and arranged them so it spells out tall."

"♕: How the f#!k do you know that?!"

"XxFoxlyxX: Let's just say I spend a good few years in a Swedish roleplaying guild in an MMO about vikings."

"JohnWillStab: I am discovering a lot about foxly... not sure how I should react."

"XxFoxlyxX: Den här damen betalar för allting!"

"Bonifacius: Thou actually knoweth Swedish!

XxFoxlyxX blushes..."

"XxFoxlyxX: Min svävare är full med ålar!

Bonifacius applauds XxFoxlyxX's linguistic skills!"

In a private message window...

"♕: So I put your messages through a translation app...

A chill ran down XxFoxlyxX's spine in real life."

Back in normal chat...

"XxFoxlyxX: ANYWAY! Let's continue the word chain!"

"Bonifacius: Language"

"JohnWillStab: Elevator"

"XxFoxlyxX: Random"

"♕: -- ..- -.."

"Bonifacius: ..."

"XxFoxlyxX: It's morse code - it means "mud""

"♕: ..."

"Bonifacius: Dust"

"JohnWillStab: Temperature"

"XxFoxlyxX: Electricity"

"♕: 眼球"

"XxFoxlyxX: That's cheating - the word starts with a "y" but only in Chinese - she's not using an alphabet to spell out English words, she's straight-up using the Chinese word for eyeball!"

"♕: Foxly, are you f*#king with me? There is no way you could search the translation up this fast."

"XxFoxlyxX: Let's just say ya boy was also in some Chinese roleplaying guilds in an MMO."

"Bonifacius: ...so what be my letter?"

"XxFoxlyxX: It's a ú"

"Bonifacius: ...úmbrella..."

"JohnWillStab: Anarchy"

"XxFoxlyxX: Yeast"

"♕: ..."

"♕: Telephone"

"Bonifacius: equipment"

"JohnWillStab: titan"

"XxFoxlyxX: nut"

"♕: ..."

"♕: Telephones"

"Bonifacius: Splendid"

"JohnWillStab: Dinner"

"XxFoxlyxX: Repetitive"

"♕: Entertaintiful...?"

"Bonifacius: ...Does thou want to consider another game?"

"JohnWillStab: Yep."

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"XxFoxlyxX: Yeah,"

"♕: Fine..."

About ten minutes of procedurally more awkward games later... the monster fell to the ground, shattering into chunks of rocks and awarding a bag of loot to each player.

"♕: It's finally dead!"

"XxFoxlyxX: I think I'm traumatized... no more word-games... ever..."

"Bonifacius: Twas not that bad!"

"JohnWillStab: No comment."

"XxFoxlyxX: Don't just "no comment" everything!"

"JohnWillStab: I just have no comment."

"♕: You people are hopeless..."

"Bonifacius: Ah come now! Thou must have enjoyed the game at least a little!"

"♕: The hell gives you that idea?!"

"JohnWillStab: I mean, you participated for one..."

"XxFoxlyxX: Yeah, usually you'd just stare off into space and watch your videos."

"♕: You're imagining things."

"It'll be more awkward the more I talk to these people, dammit! - You're a disappointment as a slave-master!"

"XxFoxlyxX: By the way, crown - you do have resurrection magic, right?"

"♕: Yeah, I'm a healer, why?"

"XxFoxlyxX: Just askin'."

"Bonifacius: Alas - ahead awaits us the most difficult boss yet - the wall of bones..."

"♕: Right!"

"XxFoxlyxX: I managed to get my stamina up to 60%, I should be good for the fight."

"♕: Nah, we should wait."

"JohnWillStab: ?"

"♕: There's a lot of running in that fight! You don't want him to pass out mid-fight, do you?!"

"JohnWillStab: ...alright?"

"Maybe I don't have to trap them? Like - surely having them be my paws but having them think they have free will would be better!"

"What the hell am I saying - HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE MY SO-CALLED PAWNS?!"

"Ah, but I talked to them too much, now it's awkward..."

"No going back! This is exactly why you don't associate yourself with sheep!"

"♕: Right - so, ready to get going?"

"XxFoxlyxX: I'm at 70%, shouldn't I wait until 100?"

"♕: Nah - don't worry about it."

"JohnWillStab: But you literally told us to wait..."

"♕: And now I'm literally telling you to go!"

"Bonifacius: There is no need to fight! Let us make our way to the third boss!"

The party headed in through the massive iron doors which creaked open allowing them passage into what looked like a large maze consisting of pillars and ninety-degree turns, the maze itself was made from massive stone bricks carved with images like hieroglyph, a snake, a skull, people in funny outfits and masks, a recipe for banana bread.

"Bonifacius: This boss is basically a massive skeleton-snake, you have to make it bit itself for it to die."

"JohnWillStab: So it's a game of snake?"

"XxFoxlyxX: Yeah - it's an easy boss!"

As the party set foot on the large white floor of the actual maze a pile of bones blocked their exit.

"Bonifacius: We must stick together! Lest the monster slays us one at a time!"

From around a corner a massive skeletal snake skull rumbled out, it was travelling faster than the players, but whenever they turned on a bend the creature crashed into the wall stunning it temporarily.

"Bonifacius: This boss is purely dependant on luck - thou will never know if its tail will be around the corner of not!"

"JohnWillStab: It's not really luck... if you memorise the maze and the boss' length you'll be able to trap it."

"Bonifacius: In theory, but I've yet to see that technique succeed."

"JohnWillStab: ?"

"XxFoxlyxX: This maze is randomly generated each time a party enters the dungeon."

"♕: So you can't memorize it?!"

"JohnWillStab: ..."

"JohnWillStab: That's not what that means, it just means that you have to memorise a new one each time!"

"♕: You're not telling me you can actually do that?"

"JohnWillStab: I dunno - but it's worth a shot!"

The skeletal head drew near as they made another turn - the gap between them and instant death was closing quickly.

"Bonifacius: Let's try thy tactic!"

"JohnWillStab: Right! First I have to know the measurements of the maze."

"♕: ...how do we check that?!"

"JohnWillStab: Crown - try accessing the code of the ground, or the room or something!"

♕ did as requested and opened the program before selecting the ground, then the walls and even the ceiling - but nothing worked.

"♕: Nothing interesting in the walls and stuff!"

"JohnWillStab: Try the boss!"

"♕: Do you know how many variables there are in a boss!? I have to walk here too y'know!"

♕ was suddenly picked up by Bonifacius who carried her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Bonifacius: Fear not my froggy companion!"

♕ selected the boss and started looking through the variables, one after the other, seeing that there was, in fact, a specific area dedicated to the generation of the maze.

"♕: I found it! A four-man party would be in a 40 by 60 maze - where one unit it one of the wall blocks."

"Bonifacius: Impressive!"

"♕: It's really not that big a deal, just reading numbers..."

"JohnWillStab: Right, are you able to track out coordinates relative to the maze?"

"♕: I guess? It's just some easy math."

"JohnWillStab: Alright - I'm going to need you to tell me when we get to 0,0"

"♕: Alright, looks like you're close anyway!"

"XxFoxlyxX: It's getting closer!"

"Bonifacius: We have to turn!"

"♕: We have to go straight to get to 0,0!"

"JohnWillStab: Ehh... what the hell do we do!?"

"XxFoxlyxX: You guys are going to owe me for this..."

"JohnWillStab: ?"

"XxFoxlyxX: Your experiment better work out!"

XxFoxlyxX turned back to the boss getting instantly killed causing the boss to stop its rampage for thirty seconds as it started playing the eat animation next to XxFoxlyxX's corpse.

"Bonifacius: Frogman! No!"

"XxFoxlyxX (dead): I can still type in chat y'know..."

"JohnWillStab: Your sacrifice will not be in vain!"

"XxFoxlyxX (dead): No worries, I have a fair amount of honour points saved up..."

"♕: We're at 0,0!"

"Bonifacius: Alright! What now?!"

"JohnWillStab: Follow me!"

JohnWillStab proceeded to run the perimeter of the maze spotting both the entrance and the exit (both were closed).

"Bonifacius: The boss will catch up soon!"

"JohnWillStab: Alright, turn left!"

"Bonifacius: Alright!"

"JohnWillStab: Turn left again!"

The white bony mass of the snake's tail came into view as the head draw even closer...

"XxFoxlyxX (dead): So.. how's the plan going?"

"JohnWillStab: We have to turn right just before the tail!"

They turned right and it was a dead end.

"JohnWillStab: S#!t! I didn't expect a dead end!"

"Bonifacius: Grab'th crown!"

Bonifacius called out before placing her on the ground. JohnWillStab did as instructed before being shield bashed over the tail whilst holding ♕.

"XxFoxlyxX (dead): Heyyy, welcome to undeath, fam."

"Bonifacius(dead): Greetings undead frogman!"

Once the snake head was done eating Bonifacius it tried to go after JohnWillStab and ♕, but since it couldn't just jump over its tail it rammed into it, killing itself instantly.

"JohnWillStab: ...A bit of a hollow victory since half of the party is dead."

"Bonifacius(dead): Tis really not unusual in future raids for some to die."

"XxFoxlyxX (dead): Yeah, don't worry about it."

♕ sneakily highlighted the dead snake skeleton and looked through the variables, she saw "door_trigger" was set to "false" - as expected they were trapped, and the doors wouldn't open!

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