JohnWillStab once more found himself in the small town in Grimwood.

There were no more than two dozen homes, all with washed-out green tiles making up their rooves.

"Bonifacius: art thee fine?"

“JohnWillStab: no... you pushed me into this god forsaken town... and now I'll keep getting killed for the next twenty minutes T_T"

JohnWillStab’s character lay in a puddle of blood particles surrounded by guard with the collective intelligence of a blow-dryer, bumping into his corpse and walking over it as if he was never there.

He clenched his fist in real life at the realisation of how he’d have to leave the town bit by bit once more.

"Bonifacius: Oh, s'rry, I wast not aware thee w're of such meagre level"

"JohnWillStab: ...couldn't you just check my level then?"

"Bonifacius: I doth not has't such magic!"

"JohnWillStab: Please, PLEASE speak normally!"

"Bonifacius: tis how I n'rmally speaketh"

JohnWillStab looked around seeing the constantly cloudy sky above begin to rain.

"JohnWillStab: T_T"

"Bonifacius: I feel’th s'rry for mine own actions, I shall help thee"

JohnWillStab: u what?"

Bonifacius came into JohnWillStab's view walking slowly, John didn't even know how to walk slowly, his character always ran full-speed.

Upon closer inspection, JohnWillStab realised all the NPCs were also walking around slowly, he was the only one sprinting like a maniac.

JohnWillStab's ragdoll corpse was laying on the ground, it was bent into a "u" shape.

"Bonifacius: I shall bring’th thee outside of the town"

"JohnWillStab: I didn't even know you can do that..."

Bonifacius proceeded to walk over JohnWillStab's corpse pushing it aside and as a result making the journey to the gate of the city only last five minutes.

At some point in the journey, John got stuck on a lamp post, forcing Bonifacius to jump onto the body in order to glitch it back out.

"JohnWillStab: Not sure what I expected... but it works..."

"Bonifacius: Indeed! Anon, where were we? Ah yes!"

Bonifacius ran over to where he was before killing JohnWillStab and drew his weapon.

The bewildered man stood there, opposite the heavily armoured opponent, the dark, gloomy atmosphere of the zone created as a result of the slow background music and the textures of the trees and grass, not to mention the thick fog made the stand-off even tenser.

The situation was not helped by Bonifacius' character who was a solid head taller than John's and a solid twenty-five percent thicker, muscle-wise.

"JohnWillStab: Look, man - I'm just starting this game!"

"Bonifacius: Ah, I doth apologies, I did not intend’th to bully a newbie"

“B-but… this is a starter zone…”

"JohnWillStab: ...At this point I'm convinced you don't know old English… Or modern English for that matter."

"Bonifacius: forsooth, I use’th an inter-web based generator!"

"Bonifacius: *places weapon aside*"

A solid five seconds later his character played the 'holster' animation.

"JohnWillStab: k... so you're one of those “roleplayers” they wrote about on the game’s website?"

"Bonifacius: Indeed, art thee interest'd in forming a party?"

"JohnWillStab: Thanks, but I'm more of a solo player"

"Bonifacius: I can see, if thou mid’th not me asking, how doest that be going?"

The chair remained silent as John desperately tried to come up with a single thing the achieved in the last hour.

"JohnWillStab: ...you got me there…"

"Bonifacius: I do apologise! My intention were not to insult’th you!"

He played the /bow emote.

"Bonifacius: That truly came out wrong!"

"JohnWillStab: Nah it’s cool, I guess I could use a guide, this game is really confusing…"

Bonifacius used the command "/invite JohnWillStab" causing a box to appear in the middle of John's screen.

"Bonifacius has invited you into a party, do you wish to accept?".

Two other buttons appeared, "Accept" and "Reject".

John accepted and on the left side of his screen a little portrait of Bonifacius appeared, it showed his level as one hundred; it was the maximum possible level.

"JohnWillStab: No wonder I couldn't hurt you... you're level 100"

"Bonifacius: forsooth - tis the maximum leveleth"

"JohnWillStab: And how long did it take you to get to it?"

"Bonifacius: about a year or so, the final stretch from 90 to 100 is horrible"

"JohnWillStab: how so?"

"Bonifacius: Thou should experience’th it with thy own eyes, not a creature with worthy XP drops, and no quest for a player to take!"

Bonifacius imagined the flashback to the horrific days of grinding for a single quest, the dozens who quit the game, many lost comrades.

"Bonifacius: legends speak’th of people who did marry and hath led succesful lives before those gents did manage to finish the horrid zone"

"JohnWillStab: that sounds like just... bad game design..."

"Bonifacius: tis true - the moderators of this game hath not been paid in months so those gents did quit"

"JohnWillStab: ...wait, so who's keeping this game playable?!"

"Bonifacius: the moderators have quit - but the code of the source of the game hast been hand’th over to someone who doth keep’th the game running, though more players cheat’th and hack’th now a days…"

"Bonifacius: t's this blast'd generat'r - I understandeth not t half of the time!"

“THEN JUST WRITE NORMALLY!” cried John in real life, but knew writing that message in chat would be no good.

"What the hell are you screaming about?" came the voice from behind.

"Why are you still in my house?!" he demanded turning back to the game.

"JohnWillStab: By the way, is there a way to play as an undead and not be killed on sight?"

He asked,

"Bonifacius: it be true that if thy reputation with a given lodging is high enough it might worketh - but tis a bit of a trap since thee can't accept’th quests without sufficient reputation!"

"JohnWillStab: ...so - I need to raise my reputation… but to do that I have to do quests… for the people that attack me on sight? I'm screwed, right?"

"Bonifacius:nay! i has't not complete the starter quests, thee shall taketh a lot less experience but thee shall receive’th reputation from the quests we do!"

"JohnWillStab: wait, you're level 100 and you didn't do the starter quests?"

"Bonifacius: I was invited into this game by some acquaintances who has took’th me to some high-level dungeons as a party, I never very much did play the game normally, not to mention this is an undead starting zone,"

"JohnWillStab: Sounds pretty sweet!"

"Bonifacius: I would giveth thee the same but tis hardly of excitement, and we do lack people."

"JohnWillStab: Alright - so what's the first quest?"

Bonifacius looked at his quest-log and amidst dozens of level 100 quests he saw the single level 1-5 quest.

"Bonifacius: we must defeat twenty boars!"

"JohnWillStab: again, not sure what I expected... but it wasn't that..."

"Bonifacius: thee musn't playeth many mmos?"

"JohnWillStab: Is it really that obvious T_T"

"Bonifacius: aye - now, alloweth's make’th haste - we has't swine to killeth!"

"JohnWillStab: right!"

A box appeared on John's screen - "Bonifacius wishes to share their quests with you, do you accept?" - he clicked "agree"

On the right side of the screen appeared a box reading "quests", below appeared "Swine Slayer (Shared)" with the description reading: "Defeat twenty red-hide boars in the clearing west of Duskvill." as well as a counter reading: 0/20 Red-hide boars killed.

The two made their way in the opposite direction of the town, the trees getting thicker and the road becoming overgrown, in the distance, on a small hill was a large clearing, the only things there were grass, boars and bushes.

John and Bonifacius made their way up the hill, the otherwise nice view was blocked by the mist which suddenly appeared the moment they stepped into the clearing.

"Bonifacius: thee wonneth't receiveth any xp if thee square not some of the boars yourself - so thee should’st go and killeth a few first, I'll keepeth gaze from hither"

"JohnWillStab: Alright, thanks, man!"

John walked around the clearing and eventually he spotted one of the boars.

When he laid eyes on the swine, John realised “red-hide” was an understatement, the hide was crimson red and covered in blisters and whatnot, it's tusk were black and its eyes glowed a sickly purple.

"JohnWillStab: Is this some sort of demon?!"

"Bonifacius: tis a swine, John."

"JohnWillStab: I’ve seen pigs before, most don’t have glowing eyes!"

"Bonifacius: tis because the land upon which we stand is cursed!"

"JohnWillStab: …I guess this is the undead starting zone…"

John slowly approached the creature from behind in hopes of using the Shiv ability, but much to his surprise the creature suddenly snapped towards him and began sprinting, the moment it made contact with him it cast Beast Charge knocking him back but not triggering the ragdoll state, and dealing a solid 20% of his total health.

When the boar came close enough, John began casting the same attack "Kick" at first dealing about 10% of the boars' total health, then 8%, then 5% and so on.

"Bonifacius: thee can't keepeth using the same martial art, unlike charm thee needeth to use’th the martial arts in some order!"

John didn't reply but it was evident he saw the message because his attack pattern changed, Slash Kick Slash.

The boar dropped dead as the blood and wound textures appeared on its corpse, they kind of looked like glued-on blood-looking stickers more than actual blood or cuts.

A window opened before him - "Loot"

Torn hide x1

Broken tusk x1

Common meat x1

Boar cloak x1

XP + 216

1/20 Red-hide boars killed!

"JohnWillStab: I made it somehow!"

"Bonifacius: aye! valorous job! but I has't been meaning to asketh - what be thy class?"

"JohnWillStab: Dagger and Fist"

"Bonifacius: t’would appeareth that thee has't chosen the worst possible combination. the fist class is completely broken, and the dagger class is only decent at which hour pair'd with a decent class"

"JohnWillStab: ..."

"JohnWillStab: How was I supposed to know that?!"

"Bonifacius: logically speaking, the fist is the weakest of all the weapons. and the dagger is the smallest of the weapons, as such..."

"JohnWillStab: I'm screwed?"

"Bonifacius: Precisely!"

Frustrated, John placed his face in his palms, “How can they expect me to know this stuff?!” before turning back to his monitor.

"Bonifacius: gaze out for the beast!"

"JohnWillStab: ?"

Before he could finish typing, John was launched away by another boar, this time it made him fly into another boar which pushed him away back towards the previous boar.

He bounced a few times and died shortly before the boar charged again.

His corpse flying high into the air only to then fall down to the ground landing atop the boar which nonchalantly walked around, wearing John's corpse like a trophy upon its back.

"Bonifacius: Needs't thou help?"

"JohnWillStab: T_T"

"JohnWillStab: Yes please..."

Bonifacius cast Master Charge causing his character to be practically launched at the boar, with his shield he attacked the boar causing it to break down into a pile of blood particles and some lose chunks of meat.

"JohnWillStab: What the hell was that?!"

"Bonifacius: tis what happeneth at which hour the corpse of a creature receives adequate damage!"

"JohnWillStab: Why didn't I explode into a meaty pulp when you killed me earlier, then?"

"Bonifacius: tis because I hath used a weaker spell"

"Bonifacius: doth sayeth - would thee mind terribly if 't be true I wast to taketh the cloak that thee hath found on the boar earlier?"

After a solid thirty seconds of decrypting the message, John realised it translated to “Hey, could you give me that cloak that dropped from the boar?”

"JohnWillStab: I don't mind, but how do I give it to you?"

"Bonifacius: thee might not but sayeth the magical phrase /trade Bonifacius - and lodging the item from thy bags into the box"

John did as instructed, he wrote "/trade Bonifacius" and a window similar to his bags opened, it had two sides, one side labelled "Offer" the other "Recieve".

On the right side of the screen, the bags were automatically opened and so John dragged the icon of a cloak from his bag to the "Offer" tab and clicked offer trade.

Bonifacius placed a gold coin in the offering box and also clicked accept.

"JohnWillStab: You didn't have to give me the money, thanks though!"

"Bonifacius: mention not it - I rarely receiveth such a spendeth time with another person nowadays!"

John noticed that Bonifacius didn't equip the cloak,

"JohnWillStab: Aren't you going to equip it?"

"Bonifacius: nay! tis complete trash if I compare it to mine own one - however I may needeth it for an outfit one day!"

"JohnWillStab: Are you sure that generator you're using is legit? I doubt old English had so many apostrophes..."

"Bonifacius: I has't not idea what ancient English sound'th nor look’th like - so I might not but guess this is correct,"

"JohnWillStab: ...Right..."

"Bonifacius: Beware the swine!"

John didn't reply, just turned his camera to see the boar running at him, he turned around and whilst the boar was still a second or two away he had a plan, Kick Slash rinse and repeat...

Before he could do anything the boar cast Beast Charge knocking John back, this time landing on the floor and standing back up after just seconds.

He ran up to the boar spamming Kick and Slash seeing the wounds and blood particles appearing on the boar before it fell over.

John still had only about half of his original health.

A window opened before him, it was labelled "Loot".

Torn hide x1

Broken tusk x1

Common meat x2

Boar leather hat x1

XP + 212

"Bonifacius: congratulations! T’would seemeth thou art learning apace!"

"JohnWillStab: Thanks! I think I'm getting the hang of it!"

"Bonifacius: Also... about that piece of hardware..."

"Bonifacius: Could I interest you in an exchange, one more?..."

"JohnWillStab: Sure... lol..."

About 20 minutes of boar-slaying alter...

Their total loot was...

Torn hide x17

Broken tusk x8

Common meat x15

Boar leather hat x2 (-1 for Bonifacius)

Boar cloak x3 (-1 for Bonifacius)

XP + 4250~

John and Bonifacius were heading back from the boar hill boar-genocide.

Suddenly a loud noise could be heard from behind, they both turned to see what it was but could only see dust particle.

"Bonifacius: t would seem’th that someone is using the sprint ability!"

Soon into their view came a frogman, running and spamming the "/cry" and "/scream" emote, the frog people look much like a short human who is always crouching with a slightly green skin tint, they didn't look like bipedal frogs or anything, guess the description "frogman" is more man than frog.

"XxFoxlyxX: F*@KING RUN!"

Cried the person in local chat as from behind a group of three or so people came into view, two of them wore leather amour and one wore black robes.

When John saw the name he thought the game glitched because he muted XxFoxlyxX, but he came to the conclusion that it may only mute them in the global chat.

"Bonifacius: What is the cause of this disturbance?"

"XxFoxlyxX: THESE AS*!OLES WERE SPAWN-CAMPING ME FOR THE LAST HOUR! I FINALLY GOT OUT!"

"Bonifacius: A frogman shouldst never leave’th the protected zone alone!"

"JohnWillStab: Protected zone?"

"Bonifacius: Ever since the most wondrous moderators quite - a guild took’th charge of maintaining some rules - for that purpose they use’th their numbers and items to haunt rulebreakers within the protected zone."

"XxFoxlyxX: STOP TYPING AND GET OUT OF HERE, PEOPLE OF YOUR LEVEL DON'T STAND A CHANCE!"

"Bonifacius: fear not mine own amphibious cousin; I shalt protect thee!"

"XxFoxlyxX: What?! Are you trying to lose honour points?!"

"JohnWillStab: ?"

As the frog person ran past them they quickly turned back only to see that the three attackers wouldn't move any closer.

"GarlicBoi: Who the hell are you?!"

This player was an ogre.

Ogres looked like grey-skinned, tall humans with large muscles, although in GarlicBoi's case, they were obscured by the robes.

"Bonifacius: Bonifacius is my name! And thou shan't lay'th one finer upon the frogman!"

"GarlicBoi: I know that armour set... you're wearing the platinum knight set, that's the top tier armour for the absolute top players!"

"Bonifacius: thou art correct - I seek not a fight, leave’th anon and I won't be forced to square thee!"

"NoPissBottles: What would a high-level fighter be doing in the undead starting zone, dumb#*s?"

This person was a human and they wielded a mace with large, blunt, horn-like spikes.

"Oheimark: They're using illusion magic!"

This one was a human, he had a grey ponytail and a goatee - in his hand he had a rapier.

"Bonifacius: *Takes a deep breath in preparation for combat*"

"JohnWillStab: ?"

In an instant, his character shot towards the mace-wielder thanks to the spell Master Charge...