I was wrong. I couldn’t win. No matter what spells I flung, no matter what techniques I used or tactics I devised… nothing. I couldn’t land a single scratch.

A few times I landed a strike but nowhere near the core. I lost.

Again and again. I ended that day on my back, floating in a hot spring, covered in bruises, and drained of my mana. I had ended up ruining several of my swords in an attempt to even faze the metal slime. I had completely and utterly been defeated.

So much for all my talk. I was spent. I hadn’t faced a true challenge since I came here.

The first real wall had crushed me. No. I banged my head against the wall until I broke myself.

I was full of self-loathing. Shit. What was even the point? I mean, sure. Maybe I could grind on more weak slimes until I can beat that guy but… I punch a nearby rock and regret it immediately as blood leaked from my scraped knuckles.

All I’ve been doing up until now was making the numbers go up.

Doing busywork to make the screens look good but not actually doing anything commendable.

I’ve spent all this time here but haven’t earned much of anything.

It’s just like… I never left that company. I typed away and did busywork to make sure I stayed at the average to not draw the ire of others and didn’t actually do anything that really mattered.

I died. I was brought to this whole other world… and it didn’t feel like anything had changed.

Worse, I had tricked myself into thinking I had. I was so happy just to have a change of pace I didn’t realise I made myself fall into the exact same cage I had lived in before. Instead, it was now of my own creation instead of others.

It was pathetic.

I was at a loss at what to do. I want to win. I don’t want to run away from this. I do not know if it’s better to just ignore the thing or to really try and beat it. If I just ignore it I can go deeper in the cave. I can work harder. Kill more slimes. Get stronger and beat it later. Don’t pick a fight you can’t win.

Continuing to fight it would be just me being stubborn, right?

My pride can take a hit for a little while. I don’t need to… I don’t…

I scream. I felt frustrated. Frustrated. I hadn’t felt like that in a long time.

Living my life back on Earth I had always felt controlled. Stuck. Frozen.

Knowing that I was always at the mercy of having my strings pulled by someone else.

Watching others succeed, moving on with the phases of their lives and watching myself stay completely still… I eventually gave up and just did whatever I could to barely make it.

I had almost completely forgotten. It was that feeling of inadequacy that led to me starting to overwork myself.

It was what killed me. I thought I could make up for lost time and effort by doubling my load and pushing myself to the limit. I didn’t do anything different.

I’m not satisfied with this result. I can’t be. I won’t let it end like this.

I spend the next few days exploring my opponent.

I throw small tiny spells from every angle. I attack calmly and boldly.

I’m not getting closer to beating it. Though I think I understand this creature better.

It’s not much different at its core than the other slimes, it acts a very certain responsive way to stimuli and situations.

Normal slimes just attack whatever they can consider a food source when it enters its range.

Acting like a bunch of worker ants.

This thing is almost the same, only with the odd condition of protecting the bridge from aggression.

It doesn’t care for things passing by it as long as they don’t have any chance of harming the bridge or itself.

I stay at the entrance of this area. I kill the normal slimes without care.

I keep watching this predator. Each day passes by with me expending my efforts to try and figure out a weakness. Conclusion after a week of studying this thing… The difference between it and myself was experience.

I don’t understand why but this creature seemed to use a proper fighting form. It boxed the hell out of me with calculated and machine-like precision whenever I tried to assault it at close range or build a really big magical attack.

This thing was on some level intelligent. Rather than a chemical force-fed ant, this thing was more like a robot that was constructed and programmed for the sole purpose of beating the shit out of people.

I’d never fought a real fight in my entire life. I had nothing on this thing.

I’d been patting myself on the back for killing bugs. Acting like I had done something amazing.

I had specialised in murdering vermin for months. Faced with a real fight, picking on something my own size, I was almost helpless. It probably could have finished me off several times by now.

I’m angry at myself. That’s probably a big part of why I can’t leave this thing be.

Not removing this thing is like admitting to my own weaknesses and shallowness.

I’ve hit it full force with a raging storm of emotions with both body and soul.

Yet it doesn’t even waver. As if telling me all my struggles and hardships are peanuts compared to others. That really gets under my skin. Mostly because I fear it’s true.

Growing up somewhere peacefully makes me really think I didn’t deserve this second chance.

That all my anguish and pain up to this point are just childish tantrums in the eyes of others.

Hell, if this world is anything like most isekai fiction paints it to be then these people are being bound by old feudal customs that were far harsher than anyone else in my lifetime likely suffered.

Comparing myself to others makes me think my life was… is just a drop of blood in the ocean.

It was when I was having these thoughts while watching the metal slime that something changed. The book of magic that I had finished reading ages ago began to glow.

I had been reading it over, looking for some way to add more potency to my spells, looking for something I may have carelessly missed… I had brought it with me and had been reading it over and over. It was the only thing I could read and… the only thing that had made me feel connected to another person.

A Beginners Guide to Magic. It shimmered in the colours of sunlight as if to answer my prayers at this, particularly low moment. The book opened itself and the rays began to dance until they formed a figure. A woman that looked like she was in her mid-twenties.

Her hair was short and jet black, covering her right eye with a shade of blue that was in the shape of a lightning bolt. Her left eye shimmered aquamarine. Her lips were painted in the coating of dark cherries and her ears had a golden ring in each the size of the face of a wristwatch.

Her skin was a healthy light orange like tan and her attire looked much like an evening gown for a prestigious party back on earth. It was a lovely dark blue dress that showed off her slender arms.

Her wrists had large circular black beads on them and her nails were painted scarlet.

“Congratulations. You’re full of enough self-loathing that you are granted to honour to see me!”

The woman curtsies and bows as if she had a loving audience applauding her presence.

“You must be confused, you poor thing. To make this as simple as I can put it, you’ve fit the requirements to learn the next lesson. The fourth element. The Sacrificial Element.”

Her tone of voice sounded so pleased with herself. Her long lashes fluttered in excitement.

“So far you’ve been using the three elements to construct your spells. This should be the norm for most people. This fourth element is exactly as it sounds. You must give up something deeply precious to you. It will increase the power of your magic by at least three times.”

Three times? Three times the power? At minimum?

She smiles at me with smugness. “Are you wondering why I’ve been holding out on you?”

She’s full of confidence that makes her radiant.

“There’s a very good reason. It’s quite dangerous. Furthermore, it basically requires the person to be willing to risk everything. So, men like you, who are about to break from their own brooding. Those tall dark haired guys you see at a bar, drinking by themselves, trying to forget the world… like, some people would say I have bad taste in men but such loveable fools make the best magicians. Oh and don’t bother to ask me any questions. This is basically a recording. So shut your sweet little mouth and let me do all the talking.”

“The Sacrificial Element doesn’t just take anything. It’s not like you can kill a chicken and use its blood. It has to be personal. The most common thing people sacrifice, those who are mad enough to do it; they give up memories.”

Memories? I would have to give up actual memories…?

“They also have to be the same ones you’re using for the Emotional Element. In other words, you’ll be removing a part of your past and firing it like an arrow against your enemies. Once fired, it will snap. There’s no coming back from it. It will be gone forever. That is why very few would dare use it. Your pain is also your past. It makes your future sweeter. It is part of what makes you what you are. Cutting that out is your choice to make, but once it’s done it’s final.”

Her words are not a devil whispering in my ear but that of a stern yet somehow mischievous trickster, there were no lies.

“So how much do you want to win?”

I feel perplexed. I thought this was simply a recording. What would this book know of me?

“For most boys, you guys are just way too competitive. It’s cute. You hate losing more than anything else. Especially… to yourselves.”

She’s got me there.

“Focus. Think about what you’re going to throw away.

"Try to draw it out of you as if it was a hair pulled from your head with your bare hands.”

I close my eyes. I dig deep. My mind goes to metal.

Enclosing me. The prison made of my perception of others and myself.

It’s cold and ruthless. Filled with all my sorrow. A small lifetime's worth of mistakes and envy.

Slithering like snakes across my flesh and poisoning my blood with venom.

All my self-hatred was here. I was balling it up with magic.

Then I feel my rage. Rage at myself. Rage at this stupid thing in my way. Rage against every little obstacle I had to face. It probably wasn’t healthy to have it. So why not let it go?

The chains heat up with it. Red. Burning. Barbed wire raking across my flesh.

I open my eyes. I don’t say a word. I throw with my hands before even looking at them.

Steaming hellfire coloured links of steel fly out of my body and wrap around the entire bridge and the metal slime with it. Wrapping it in a cocoon of my hatred.

I pull down with a single tug. The bridge is ripped away from the ground supporting it.

It crumbles and falls into the dark abyss below in an instant before its protector could react.

Soon, I couldn’t even see a single flicker of light. It was gone. Just like that.

I felt free. What was I so mad about? Why was I wasting my time here?

I’m not getting any younger. I’m going straight to the bottom and killing whatever is down there and when I’m done with that… I’ll go out and see this wonderful new world.

I could get used to this feeling.