To me, I have a girlfriend. We do it twice a day, once that very morning. So it comes to me as a shock three days after our first time when I see a couple taking off their clothes as they enter Gara's bedroom.

My body shuts down for a moment, and then I feel stupid. Deep down I know I should expect it.

She catches my eye and smiles. "Hey. Good evening."

I stare at her, stunned and stupid; at least she acknowledges me.

My intent is to walk away, make her see that I'm not dumb enough to put more importance on what we have.

Gara gestures behind her and asks, "You coming?"

Till a week ago my only bedfellow has been myself. I blame that for fighting back a curious smile. Maybe I've been playing it safe all this time, trying to follow this strict, impossible path my pa has concocted. I go into that room, more than ready to behold all that Gara will allow me to see.

It's not what I expect.

The bed is grand now with the room well-lighted. Till now she's only walked me back to my room whenever she's interested in us getting naked. My thoughts travel to the first night back from the medical center and Gara's way of keeping me company.

Just like then, even now, we never have a real conversation but Gara does take my mind off things. Can't say my ex-virgin body isn't appreciative.

This room is luxurious. It looks different from when I'm high passing out on the floor. Candles line the perimeter, shrouding us in a dim light that's both warm and relaxing.

The four-post bed sits low, though, so low that the chairs Gara leads me to afford us a view downward of it.

Gara meets the couple, an undying smile on her face.

"Gara," the tall man says. "Regular like clockwork."

"Originality isn't my forte. I like my cycles. How is your chest?"

I can't make out the scar but when the man touches it, it's hard to forget again. Bailey. And he was alive.

"Those stunners really do sting," Bailey says.

Gara gives Bailey's companion, an otherwise silent woman, a bow. "You're new."

They are both dark-skinned and I can't make out the new accent Bailey takes on now. Maybe they are from the common area, too. As I'm Lower-Levels born and raised; I only know the accents of my area.

"She's real. Her...you know, the one I told you about. The one that...I might change for," Bailey, the talkative of the two, says. "Real and true. This is my gift to you for treating me so well."

Gara seems at a loss at first but in time she nods. "So this is it then, the last time? It's more than worth it." She backs away and says, "Let's get started then."

I'm not sure what I'm in for, but I make a fast job of taking my shirt off. Gara's raised eyebrow and chuckle tells me maybe I'm too eager.

Slowly, I drag my shirt down again, reminding myself to play it cool.

Gara sits back on one oversized chair and gives me a smile. I join her there, the next chair over.

The couple holds each other's faces, staring at one another like fools.

Two minutes into the closest I may ever be to joining an orgy and they are...staring.

Gara brings her right ankle on her left knee.

"What are they doing?" I finally ask, convinced more is going on than I can see.

"They're just looking at each other," Gara replies.

At least when they nip at each other it's some movement.

We watch that boring scene for a while, too, until I'm forced to ask, "And now?"

Gara glances at me, her brow knitted. "You've never been in love?"

I guess I never have, though I don't meet her gaze again for fear she might realize just how in love I am with her and everything she's ever written.

"Look closer, Bailey's fiancée's nervous, he's calming her down. When he runs his hands up his love's back, he's calming her down."

Neither of them looks nervous at all.

Gara gestures at the kissing couple who take great interest in each other's mouths. Bailey, the taller of the two, is also in his thirties or so.

"Bailey's woman's a Traditionalist," Gara explains. "You should know all about that, strictly Yule to Yule. Bail's been friends with her since forever. She risked being labeled a spinster waiting on him. This is their first time—her first time."

When I look at the couple again, the fiancée gripping the waist of Bailey's trousers, twisting it as they nip each other's lips, I can see it. With each kiss her grip loosens.

Yules like me, humans with no supernatural powers and no mechanical or genetic enhancements, are nothing special.

Their biggest faction, the Traditionalists, are the minority in the Colony which is nearly entirely for the common—being with anyone who loves you; only Traditionalists care about Yule to Yule pairing. They are very strict on morality. I can't imagine a Traditionalist being able to go home after doing something like this.

I've never even imagined a Traditionalist could consider engaging in something risqué.

"But she's a Traditionalist..." I say stupidly.

Gara nods. "She is. And she fancies this man, a man who makes his money in unconventional ways...."

This time when I see them, I don't see the sweet kisses anymore, I see something intrusive.

"Is she forced to do this, to have sex for credits?"

Gara chuckles. "You really haven't been in love." She reclines in her chair and admits, "I don't know how it is for everyone, but for me, I'd wanted to show off. I wanted everyone to see what we had, something they could never get. I was proud of it."

The thought still doesn't appeal. Somehow knowing they might really be in love sours my interest in that orgy.

"Is that how you got recorded, then?" I don't mean it as bitter as it comes out.

Gara shakes her head. "Blue. He never agreed. But it was genuine, that's what made it good. These two.... We're right here. No hidden cameras, nobody watching in the wings. We're here and they plan to let us see. And I have a feeling that's a thrill along with it, too."

By now Bailey's fiancée kisses him back, gripping his hair and cheek. She looks hungry enough for me to believe that she has been waiting her whole life for Bailey to initiate. Because if Bailey doesn't marry her after this, she'd be in for a hell of a shunning.

"And now that she's comfortable and she's not backing down," Gara continues, "she's taking the initiative."

And it's true. While Bailey still seems interested in continuing their deep kiss, his partner hurries to undo his buttons, going so far as to start on her own.

As a former eager virgin alumnus, I have to smile.

Bailey never misses a beat. He keeps instep, coaxing a kiss as his lover guides him to the bed.

"And now she can't wait," Gara continues. "She wants to fuck now, but Bailey's not going to take her, not until he knows for sure it's okay."

Worry grips me when I think of when we'll eventually interrupt them.

My body warms when Bailey stumbles into bed, kicks his trousers off and takes his lover's nipple into his mouth.

I make a noise perhaps, because Gara chuckles.

"What now?"

"I guess I'd be embarrassed to do this in front of others," I confess.

"You really haven't been in love." Gara sits up, her right elbow on the armrest, chin on her palm. "The only time Bailey'd probably feel embarrassed now was if he made a mistake or if he hadn't anticipated something. I told you, he's proud."

That he is, but his lover's eager and maybe a little selfish when she grips Bailey's hair, shoving him down.

Her aggression when she holds Bailey's face between her legs makes me flinch because I haven't even been bold enough to try that. With how vocal she is, I stop myself from glancing at Gara, praying she wouldn't compare Bailey and I and find me wanting.

Relief fills me when the fiancée finally regains control of herself and pulls Bailey up.

I can't make out what she mutters but she looks pensive enough.

Bailey shakes his head, kissing her throat and chest.

I learn a lot tonight night sitting there.

For one, I learn what foreplay actually looks like. I also learn that I really can't keep quiet when I watch people having sex.

"Hush, he's just getting her ready. First timers aren't really my thing," Gara tells me.

"First time? I thought so at first but I'm starting to doubt if that's really true. You don't doubt it?" I ask, my face burning as Bailey's slick finger disappears into his lover

"She's too tense," Gara says. "He's gonna need more preparation if he plans to put his size in there and make her enjoy it. Bailey's good, but not that good. He probably should have tried a toy first."

Bailey's fiancée seems to be taking the fingers just fine.

I cross my legs to hide my interest. A glance beside me reveals that Gara doesn't share my reaction. Her cheeks aren't flushed like when we're together.

She's right, though, Bailey's cock, though average length, is thick and full. Despite the warmth, his lover still shivers when Bailey eases on top of her, thrusting his hips though not entering.

For a moment, I regret being in the audience in full view. I want a room to hide in so I can ease my own ache.

Curiosity drives me to stay, especially when Gara sits up.

"This I hadn't expected," she mutters.

Bailey guides the woman unto her knees then gets behind her. I don't need to read lips to understand.

"Bail's gonna..." Gara mutters, smiling. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Rather than reclining, Gara sits forward, elbows on her knees as she watches.

Sure enough, Bailey's fiancée lies on her stomach and Bailey scoots lower and does the same. He spreads her legs and buries his face between them.

The prep and instructions take ages, but surprisingly, I don't mind. I almost cheer the man on when, after several failed attempts, Bailey finally put his lover onto her back and pops in.

My stomach drops. That's the least of my worries because they stop moving.

Bailey, bracing on his elbows calls, "You okay? Is it a good fit? You feel fucking good."

His strangled tone betrays that lie but Gara assures me. "Trust me, he can't care. He doesn't."

The fiancée shifts, groaning as she grips the sheets. "Bail...." She gasps. "Bail...."

"Should I stop? We can always stop."

And they are slow. At the next gentle buck, Gara takes my right hand, interlocking our fingers. Bailey remains frighteningly still after that. And then his muscles melt of all tension and he cries out.

"She's relaxed," Gara assures me, pleased.

We watch them, sitting side by side; watch as Bailey grips the sheets; watch as he and his lover find a good rhythm, and despite the warning, stays in control after each and every buck. Bailey lasts.

Whenever Bailey slows, his lover tries to move under him. "Don't you fucking stop. Don't you fucking stop," she begs.

Gara's grip tightens. I appreciate it. I need it when Bailey cums first, and Gara lets out a soft huff, pleased.

"Bail. Bail." His fiancée groans. It turns into a chant, each name coming with a slap of flesh against flesh as Bailey's once timid lover casts off all reservation and cries for him.

"Yes, cum. Cum," Bailey pants, his face pressed in the bed as he shivers. I think to argue that Bailey should have waited but to my surprise, the woman shudders.

And then she cums. Both Gara and I lean back in unison.

I've never heard a shout quite like that. It lasts for some time but even as it dies away to a long groan, even as they both collapse in those thick sheets, even as they cling to each other, Gara keeps her grip on my hand.

My pulse races with them. It skips and stops and skips again when Bailey's lover kisses his forehead, his ear, his throat, his chin, again and again. And it only speeds up when Bailey himself, grips his love's hand, bringing it to his face.

The way they pet and tease and stroke one another makes me wonder about my first time. It's sad because I don't even remember a pet. No gentle I love you's. No, "Did I hurt you?" with someone to answer, "No you bastard, you've wrecked me. You're all I need."

They stay tangled in the sheets. Gara stays gripping my hand. It's then that I realize, I'm gripping hers in return.

"That was nice," I admit.

"Yeah," Gara whispers. "But rare." She untangles herself from me, crawls into the bed, though she keeps her distance from the exhausted couple as she kisses Bailey's brow. "So you finally found somebody worth keeping?"

Eyes closed, Bailey smiles. "Told you I'd get you what you wanted eventually, even if I had to do it myself."

Gara's smile is genuine but she offers him no reply.

Finally, Bailey says, "But it's like I said, there's no love in my line of work. I gave the very closest I could but I'm sorry I wasn't able to find him for you."

Pleased, Gara held his face. "I am satisfied."

Bailey's eyes are still closed when he confesses, "I see now why you run it down, why you chase it. Why you chase love. This is...it's scary but—but thrilling. I fear it but crave it all at once. It's surreal." Groaning into the embrace as his fiancée tightens the grip, Bailey begs, "Don't give us any credits, Gara. This is your gift. The idea that I could have let this chance at happiness pass me by if not for your urging, it terrifies me. I'm grateful."

A small smile forms but eventually withers away as Gara says, "I don't like gifts. You can have four times the usual. Retire and go live a boring life in the Clusters."

"I think I'm gonna go home."

Gara nods, slipping from the bed. "I'm glad you get it now."

She makes her way to the doorway and extends her hand to me. I glance at the couple. This isn't what I'd expect but I'm equally happy to see something solid, something committed.

Once we are out in the hall, Gara closes the door. "They can sleep it off." She turns to me and takes me by the waist. She isn't wearing much under that thin dress as I feel her warm body against mine. "Now...it's your turn," she says, leading me to my room by the waist of my trousers.