《ONCE》13. Descent, part 3
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Descent, part 3
Sam regained consciousness twenty hours later at 10 p.m. She wasn't awake for long, only long enough to discern that she was somewhere other than home. The next time she awoke was ten hours later at 8 a.m. She took in her surroundings and quickly ascertained that she was in a hospital ward. A nurse came in to check on her and do a basic examination and was followed shortly after by Dr Richardson, a young female doctor. She sat down on the stool next to Sam's bed and asked her how she was feeling and did her best to get Sam to talk to her, but Sam wasn't interested in talking to anybody, all she could think about was how she was going to be able to face Eric after doing what she had done. He came to see her later that day at two o'clock in the afternoon. He had returned home earlier that morning and had gotten into a confrontation with his mother over his more than week long disappearance that had turned physical. Sam was laying on her side facing away from the door when Eric came into her room to visit her.
“Hey,” he said, feeling as uncertain as he did when he first spoke to her.
Sam turned over and, upon seeing Eric and perceiving his nervousness, felt a rush of guilt that she fought to keep from breaking her.
"Hi," she responded frailly, feeling so bad for what she had done to him that she couldn't look at him.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, just tired is all.”
They could think of nothing else to say to each other and the increasing tension created by the prolonged silence was too much for Sam to take.
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"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry," she said, breaking down.
Eric sat on the bed next to her and gathered her up in his arms. Sam couldn't stop crying and saying 'I'm sorry'. Her guilt was crushing her. She could think about nothing other than the purity of Eric's love for her and the betrayal of that love that she had committed by doing what she'd done, and Eric holding her tightly to him and telling her that she had nothing to apologize for was making her feel worse.
While walking past Sam's ward Dr Richardson took a look inside and saw the scene between Sam and Eric and thought that Eric could be useful in helping her to reach Sam. He came to the hospital to visit her every day at eight in the morning and then again at two in the afternoon. After four days of failing to elicit a response of any kind from Sam, Dr Richardson waited for Eric at the entrance to the hospital and asked him to follow her to her office, where she told him that Sam wouldn't speak to anyone and wasn't eating. She had been the same in the days following her mother's death, and Eric's fear after listening to Dr Richardson was that Sam was still suicidal. Thinking that Dr Richardson seemed sincere, Eric decided to help her. Her main concern that she wanted Eric's help with was getting Sam to eat something. Eric left her office to visit Sam in her ward and Dr Richardson arranged for food to be sent to Sam while Eric was there. When he arrived at her ward Sam had been waiting for him for thirty minutes. Eric hadn't been late to visit her once and his lateness on this occasion had caused Sam to entertain the possibility that he wasn't coming. She was anxious and suspicious, and grew more so when a nurse brought in a food tray for her shortly after Eric had arrived.
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"Are you hungry?" Eric asked her. She was looking very shaky, and Eric questioned whether to go through with this.
"No, I'm still full from breakfast."
She was lying to him, something which they had promised never to do to each other.
“What did you have?” He asked tentatively.
“Some scrambled eggs.”
“Even so,” he proceeded cautiously, “do you think you could eat some of this?”
“Why, when I’m not hungry?”
“I worry about you not eating enough.”
Eric's admission of his concern for her made Sam feel horrible about lying to him and she could feel herself being consumed by her anxiety.
“You don’t have to worry.”
“Don’t I?”
“You think I’m lying to you?” Sam said indignantly, the result of her losing control of herself.
"I know you're not eating."
"Who told you that?"
"Dr Richardson told me."
"You've been talking to her behind my back?"
"I spoke to her just now for the first time, she was waiting for me at the entrance."
"And you two talked about me?"
"She said you're not showing any signs of improvement, and she asked me if I'd be willing to try and get you to eat something."
"Why did you believe everything she said? Because you don't trust me? Is that why you want me to eat this?"
"I want you to eat because I want you to get better. Why won't you eat anything?"
“BECAUSE I CAN’T!” Sam screamed, grabbing the serving tray and throwing it against the wall, shattering the plate contained within it.
Eric looked at Sam and had to hold back tears. She looked to him to be broken beyond repair. He put his arm around her and drew her close to him; Sam nestled her head in the crook of his shoulder and cried. Eric could make no sense of their future. The future with Sam that he hoped for, that he had been working for, now seemed far out of his reach. He was powerless to do anything but be there for her and wait, and hope.
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