Chapter 5 – Assessing the situation

It was love at first sight for the both of us.

[Aoi, I'm sorry that it took me five minutes longer than you to muster my courage and confess. Please forgive me!]

During these couple of minutes I humoured myself with thoughts such as: 'I am a lost soul; I do not deserve any love.', or 'You are too good for me.' - I would have most likely kept up with it but you had me cornered with your sincerity. In front of that I couldn't possibly play the fool.

I still do think that I don't deserve it but the love you have shown me is greater than this. I was illogical. Only hate can equal love and not some petty notions such as the state of the soul. It would be demeaning for your feelings if they had to deal with that. Feelings should only have to deal with feelings and not with logic, for logic can't possibly compare to them.

And the truth is my feelings for you are undeniably those of love. There's still something bugging me but I'll let it slide for now.

There's something else I want to know.

“Aoi, why did you fight against demons?”

“As I said, they ambushed me.”

“I get that part. But why would they ambush you?”

“I don't have any idea, either. They just stormed out of the woods when I was on my way to take care of some lesser skeletons.”

“Lesser skeletons?”

“Yes. Four or five skeleton spearmen.”

I have an ominous premonition so I need to clarify it now.

“Aoi, could you please tell me a little bit more about who you are and where you came from?”

“Hai! I am the daughter of Droght Wolfcleaver, squire to Prince Rasion and the Lord of Bruna.”

[A noble's daughter?]

“M-mylady?”

I'm outclassed in all regards here.

With a sad look in her eyes she said: “Please...call me Aoi.”

She's right. How could I be intimidated by titles when I decided to cope with the fact that I'm a sinner and she is an innocent soul, which is by far more important? But I don't want to deceive her.

“Aoi... I-I am of low birth.” She gets an angry look at that.

[No, that's not the right way to put it.]

“What I mean is not my status in society. It is about who I am.”

A...confession...of sins. Usually it is done to cleanse yourself in some regard and you go to a professional (priest) for that matter. It's easier to do this with a stranger who'll keep things confidential and you are not obliged to meet afterwards.

But it is so much harder with the one you love. You shouldn't do this with your partner. Not only will it shift the balance, it will also force her into the position of forgiving me for being who I am. She might force herself to do so, even if she's disappointed. Yeah, I know that she will forgive me but that's not the problem.

The problem is that she will feel bad for being disappointed in me. I don't want to do this to her. That's why it's so much easier with a priest. They won't be disappointed in you no matter what. They'll only see someone in need and do their job (hopefully).

Still...she needs to know. I won't lie to her. I might've been lying to myself all my life but I don't want to do the same with her.

“I've done bad things...to my family. That is why I am here.”

“What?” [Here it comes. I wonder which words of comfort she'll choose?]

“Lucius, don't be a fool. Problems with your family should be resolved inside the family. This here...this does not seem to be a place where things are resolved.”

[I said it already once. Talking to her is really a soothing experience.]

“Ahh...thank you, Aoi.”

“What for?”

“For not saying empty words of comfort.”

“You've been thinking something rude again, haven't you?” (like thinking she would be disappointed)

“I did; but not anymore.”

“Won't you say 'sorry'?”

“I won't.”

“Why not?”

“Because I'm not sorry for talking to you.”

A smile appeared on Aoi's face. There is a magnificent beauty to it despite the sorry state of her body. [Ah...I would do anything for her.] It's not a bad feeling, having this as my raison d'etre.

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Aoi's POV

Lucius is troubled by his past and it has to do with his family. It would be a wrong thing to force him into spilling the beans now. Did he steal money? It does not seem so. That look points towards a greater form of betrayal.

He knows what he did, but he's just feeling sorry for himself. Baka. Ah no, I'm the Baka. [Why would he say 'That is why I'm here?'] There seems to be something else. I should probe the waters.

“Did the problems at home force you into slavery and you were sold to the demons as a blood sacrifice?”

“What? Why would you come up with that?”

“Well...we both died and are now forced to be the undead slaves of some acolyte or lich.”

“Aoi, I think you misunderstand the situation. When you die you are automatically sent to hell for your past wrongdoings.”

[What, in the name of the Dragon, is he talking about?]

I must've had a seriously perplexed look on my face, so he continued.

“Well...it's a sort of punishment.”

“Does your nation send people to this kind of jail? I never heard of it before? Is it the Kingdom of Endron? I once read that they proud themselves in developing the cruellest forms of punishment. Those bloody elves.”

“Erm...no it's not that kind of thing. You see, this is the end of all life. It's the point of no return. After you die you don't get a chance at being human again because you are forced to leave everyone behind. A human being is a social creature after all. Without interaction with others you cease to be human. The annoying thing about hell is that you don't lose your self-awareness. Something like that?”

[Is he a philosopher? Sometimes philosophers say the deepest things and seek out mysteries beyond comprehension...but this is...yes. It's truly beyond comprehension...]

He's still going on...

“This is a really cruel state. You are a human by nature but here you are not allowed to be a human. I would've really liked to damn someone but the fact is that I seeked this state out of my own accord.”

“You..are here out of your free will?”

“Of course not. I am here because my will is not free...of sins...”

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Lucius's POV

Aoi lets out a really deep sigh and says:

“You are right that our wills are not free anymore. We have been resummoned as undead servants and will be forced to fight in the future.”

[I get that you're a warrior-angel who has become a prisoner of war in the conflict between Good and Evil, but Aoi...angels can not be forced against their will.]

“Why would you think you are an Undead?”

“First: We died. There is only one way to come back after that, and that is through the teachings of the 'School of Death'. They developed a technique to massively infuse the residual Mana inside a corpse with their own Mana to force it into a moving state again.” She made a gesture with her eyes to ask whether I understood and if she could continue.

I nodded. Ironically, in that moment my head was cut off and it seemed as if I had shown my neck in anticipation to make it easier for the demon kid that has come after the guard. He's such a joke compared to the others. He seems to be really young, but that had never been a reason for the pain to be more bearable, yet now it is.

It's mysterious. Just having her by my side eases the pain. I wonder if it's the same for her?

“Second: Just look around. We are skeletons! Soon even our skin will disappear and the only thing left will be our bones.” She made a clacking sound with her teeth in an imitation of a skull.

[I thought you weren't that easy-going judging from your sophisticated demeanour. Are you loosing up around me? It's a cozy feeling.] After telling me of her origins I finally understood that she has a noble air around her and I thought I would have problems with proper behaviour. [She's probably being considerate of me.]

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Aoi's POV

[No, my love. It's not only out of consideration. I just want us to go all dere-dere. With you I feel at ease. Even the pain becomes more bearable the longer you look into my eyes.]

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Lucius's POV

[Ah, OK. Got it.] I answered with my eyes.

We still need to go on with the discussion, though.

“There is a problem with your theory, Aoi.”

“Yes, I know. Skeletons aren't supposed to feel any pain or be sentient. It might be a new spell.”

“It's something else. From the way our conversation went on, I fathom we were both born in very different places. Two different worlds, so to say. And I am not talking in a metaphorical manner of speech here. In my life there was never such a thing as magic, only humans and their daydreams.

When I died, I died alone. There was nobody there to perform any kind of spell, even if such a thing was possible.”

She has a look of disbelief in her eyes.

“You want to comprehend the situation in a logical way so I will try to be methodically here. We are not in our bodies anymore, we are souls that are bound to this place. Our appearance just resembles our former bodies. We died and need to accept it. That is why I have been so anguished until now.” [It's weird to describe hell in any other way than the philosophical one.]

Her disbelief didn't go away in the least. If anything, the look in her eyes tells me that she is even more confused. [Are there no stories of the underworld in her place?]

“Lu-Lucius...did I understand you right?”

There was no sign of contempt when I told her about my sinful state before, but now there is. [Why? Please don't look at me like this.] In just a heartbeat there had been an anxiety built up inside of me I could not have imagined before. [I see...you are already able to crush me with just a gesture. It is that kind of love.]

“...a different world...”

[So that's what it was. I'm an idiot.]

“You don't believe me?”

“I...I do. I obviously need to.”

“Don't force yourself out of obligation to do something you don't want to.”

“I'll do it nevertheless. I was just thinking for a moment that you were playing me for a fool or you were plainly lying. This thought hurt me and it would hurt you because I doubted your story, although I could only see sincerity in your eyes and no deceit...so I felt contempt for myself.”

[It is that kind of love...]

“We both can crush each other with just a wink.”

Her expression tells me that she understood. It would have been bad if it was only me, but it's mutual. We were both just needlessly anxious.

“Aoi, won't you say 'sorry' for doubting me?” I invite her into that routine.

“I won't.”, she said with a faint smile.

“Why not?”

“Because I...”

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Aoi's POV

It was a smart choice to go with that routine. We know each other for only a moment, after all. The anxiety was just a misunderstanding. Such things will happen less often the more we learn about each other.

The moment I wanted to answer I realized that the man on the far right was looking into our direction.

End of Chapter 5

On a personal note. I wanted to say three things.

1st Today i had a revelation. After many years i noticed that Horo is actually a nekomimi

2nd He should stop being an idiot and just go for Albedo.

3rd The other one should kick Eris out if she hits him again.

Oh and...fourth: I hate it that he lied to Da'in and didn't tell her the truth.