--- Roric

"Whew, I'm spent."

Roric sat beside the fire, in front of his master, bearing the bruises and cramps he had gotten from the training. He had been in those mountains for ten days now, a relatively short time that however felt like a lot more. Barden had been putting him through running, jumping, climbing, crawling, fighting almost constantly, but the results were still lacking.

It's going to take an eternity, at this rate. I wonder if everything is alright in Cassidia... I've never felt so pressured before.

"You are doing better than most of my students, boy," said the elder. "But I have to be honest with you, the only reason is your Elemental nature. The benefits you get from what you are."

"It doesn't matter," replied the young warrior. "I'm not taking full advantage of my powers. As you told me, this is just a minimal part of what I should be able to do."

"That's pretty much it. I'm surprised that you admitted it so easily."

"Master," asked Roric, "I need to know... What am I missing? Is it just motivation, or is there something else?"

Barden took a deep breath. Despite his pupil having failed him so many times in those days, he didn't seem mad at all. If anything, the boy would say that he enjoyed the challenge much more than he wanted to admit.

"Tell me about your relationship with the kingdom of Cassidia. How far would you go for your king?"

That's... A good question. King Sebastian didn't force me to come here, it was more like something he tasked me to do. Regarding my main goal...

"To be fair... I'm bound to his daughter, the princess. She's the person I swore to protect. I thought I was doing a good job overall, but... I kept secrets from her, and it compromised our friendship."

"What kind of secrets?"

"My nature, mainly," replied Roric. "Plus the existence of Rickhart. I'd rather forget about him, since I was so far from the Republic."

The old man nodded, a bit sadly, and threw a piece of wood into the flames. "I understand. Serving this princess of yours meant you couldn't be honest with her. Are you in love with her?"

It's surprising, I thought he would roast me. Still, what is he asking...

"I... I wouldn't say that. She's very precious to me-"

"It's one thing or the other. You can't be a servant and a lover at the same time. Not even a friend."

"What do you mean?"

"Do I really need to explain myself?" complained Barden. "Geez, let me make an example then..."

What could he possibly know about me and Elise? He was a royal guard in the past, sure, but that is barely related to my situation...

The young warrior let him go on, anyway.

"Since you are here, you probably heard about the war and the siege of Eyndal, right?"

"I did. But only vaguely."

"Loosen your ears, then. Few people know the complete story, and it's not something I like to talk about, so I won't repeat myself."

"Sure," the boy answered. "But is it going to teach me-"

"Be quiet," Barden silenced him. "We'll skip the introduction, because it isn't important. The day King Horatius decided to retreat to the fortress, chaos broke out in the capital... I remember it vividly. People crying, soldiers shivering and saying that all was lost, vassals gathering their belongings and disappearing... By the time we actually reached Eyndal, so many had defected that the army had been reduced to a shadow of what it once was. All because most of the King's followers didn't have faith in him. They weren't loyal enough."

"I was told that the war was unwinnable..." commented Roric.

The elder spat on the ground. "Unwinnable? My ass. When half the men throw away their weapons out of fear, anyone would say it. Horatius' leadership dwindled and he was forced to make a difficult decision. Had the army stayed strong, the alliance against us wouldn't have succeeded. Not in a thousand years."

This story still hurts, I can tell. Those people probably looked like cowards to his eyes, but who is him to judge them? Once the first surrendered, then the others were bound to do the same.

"The fortress was surrounded. It was built on a high peak and was accessible only on one side. That made it impregnable," continued Barden. "The enemies tried to breach the main gate five times but failed, leaving hundreds of dead on the field. We had supplies for months, in there, and once again it was just a matter of trusting the King and staying strong. However, not all among the defenders were of my same idea."

The boy gulped. "What happened?"

"There were concerning rumours going around, and more and more soldiers kept escaping overnight. I was still confident about victory, until I met those four."

"Who?"

"Four guards were absent from their post, for no apparent reason. I found them in a storage room, moving boxes. They had discovered a trapdoor, a secret passage to a tunnel that led outside, and were about to run away."

They must have been terrified. I can't even imagine how dire the situation looked.

"You didn't... Kill them, did you?" asked Roric, with a trembling voice.

"I admit that the thought crossed my mind, but after seeing them... I wanted to know," said the old man. "Why would they betray their king to save themselves? Being soldiers implies having duties, they were supposed to know. And still, there they were. Breaking out of the fortress."

Standing up, Barden took a couple of steps and faced the other way.

"They told me they were scared. That they had families. That there wasn't anything left for us between those walls," he continued. "That King Horatius wasn't worth dying for. I listened to their plea, and let them go."

"So... They lived? Weren't you the only survivor of..."

Wait... I sensed a weird note in what he just said. No, I refuse to believe that...

"They didn't, of course," replied Barden, coldly. "Once they descended, I simply sealed the passage. After all, I already knew that the tunnel had never been completed."

"You left them in there to die? What kind of man are you?"

"One that understands what being loyal is all about. I couldn't allow anyone else to think that there was a way out of Eyndal beside fighting for our liege. Don't look at me like some kind of monster. For I-"

"But that's what you are!" yelled Roric. "You killed those men. Horribly! Like rats! Have you no heart? Have you no shame? No-"

"Let me ask you the same question from earlier, then," the man stepped in again, with stern authority. "How far would you go for your princess? Do you trust her enough to do what it's necessary in order to fulfill her orders? Her dreams?"

The boy sat there, speechless. It was almost unthinkable that he would do such things for Elise, but her people were in danger and in truth... She deemed them more important than her own life. He had already seen it in Fradot.

She... No, there's no way she would drive me to a corner like that. I'd stop her before she could. These methods are simply... Wrong.

"Well, it doesn't really matter if what I did was right or not," said Barden, absent-mindedly. "What matters is that I did it to honour my pact with the King. It was an extreme example, I realize it, but that should teach you why sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. So, if you truly feel it as your responsibility, you'd better put everything you have into the training and bring out a capable Elemental before the storm hits your precious princess."

Roric couldn't completely understand, but he got the message. There were things he just had to do, if he wanted to be useful to Elise and regain her approval. Maybe not as grim as those Barden had done, but...

"Wait a second, master," he wondered. "I'm still missing a part. You told me that I couldn't be a servant and a friend at the same time... But your story didn't explain anything about it."

"That's because I wasn't finished, of course."

The elder took place on the other side of the fire once again. For some reason, his eyes were now a little sadder.

"The siege went on for... So much time. Yet, I never let my guard down. That's probably why I noticed what the other royal guards were doing before it was too late."

"The... The other royal guards?" the boy asked. "You can't mean even them..."

Nodding, the man said, "Yes. They had plotted a betrayal of their own. When I realized it, their preparations were almost complete. One night, me and the few who remained loyal to our king faced the traitors inside the fortress. Their numbers greatly exceeded ours, but I didn't step aside... It was a terrible battle. By the end of it, I was the only one still standing."

He had to fight his own men. His own companions, just because of a stupid oath!

"Ironic, isn't it?" went on Barden. "Now that I think about it, I should always have expected things to turn out like that... Either way, all of a sudden it was just me and King Horatius. Eyndal had not fallen, but we were alone."

"I'm not sure I need to hear the rest, master," commented Roric. "I mean, you had to protect your life and that of your king, but... At what cost? How many had to die because of your loyalty?"

The old swordsman, however, glared at him.

"It wasn't my problem. If they weren't ready to face the consequences, they should have never taken an action against their liege. His orders were to hold the fortress no matter what, and I did everything necessary in order to follow them. That's what motivation can accomplish."

"I still don't understand how does it connect with me and Elise... The princess."

She would never force me to make such a choice. Even if she hated me, I wouldn't allow her.

"After that night, I kept defending the main gate alone. We had been there for nearly a year and the food was scarce, moreover my king's health was quickly deteriorating. He had never been prone to illness, but without the servants... It became clear that he needed some help from the outside. But how could I find a healer without surrendering Eyndal in the process? During our brief meetings, I kept telling him that no enemy had breached in, all while waiting for those words to come out from his mouth... It would have been so simple. Tell them that they won, it was all I wanted to hear, tell them that King Horatius won't resist anymore."

Barden clenched his fists. Not in rage, but in frustration. Those events were so distant in the past, but they must have been very important for him.

"He lost consciousness, and struggled against death for a week straight. I kept guarding the entrance, day and night, with the sun or the rain. I don't know how I managed to do that without sleeping, and I'm not even so sure that I did. At a certain point I went to check on my liege and he wasn't breathing anymore. King Horatius had passed away in his bed."

The young warrior asked, "Why didn't you stop that madness earlier? If you valued his life that much, you could have..."

Because it was his duty. A person who believed so much in it could have never gone against the King's will, even if his intent was to save him. That's what he's trying to tell me. Barden knows it, and still can't find peace.

He couldn't respond properly, and that made him feel very depressed.

"Forget it," he grumbled. "How did it all end?"

"One day, one of the enemy princes came. I realized that it had been months since the besiegers had even moved, and he almost caught me by surprise. I thought he had come to fight, instead that man left his weapons and requested to be allowed inside. He assessed the situation and gave me a choice. Either surrender before the next morning, or be killed in the next assault. That very night, on the fortress' highest bastion, I burned the remains of my king and at dawn I left Eyndal forever, heading for the enemy camp."

It must have been a tough call for him but... His oath wasn't valid anymore, with Horatius dead. It was better to live, at that point.

"You know what's funny, boy?" exclaimed the elder, with a gloomy laugh, "When I reached the first tents, I discovered that they were mostly empty. The enemy soldiers had retreated long before."

"They were just holding you in."

"Exactly. I turned myself in and was formally kept as a prisoner, but they treated me fairly and eventually let me go. That's the end of the story. Now you know how far I was willing to go to honour my promise. If you want to serve a person you swore loyalty to, you must be ready for any sacrifice."

"Including giving my life, I guess," said Roric. "I was already aware of that."

"That's the road to true motivation," replied Barden, "You must choose what your princess represents for you. Is she a leader? Fine, follow her orders wherever they take you, like I did. Is she a friend? Make her see the truth before it's too late. There's no standing in the middle. But no matter what, don't follow your heart. Trying to balance duties and feelings only brings misery. "

The boy nodded, but his ideas weren't any clearer.

It's not like being so stubborn didn't bring misery to him too... But in a sense he is right. No matter the path I decide to take, I'm going to lose something. Talk about a bright future.

He stood up, walking in the direction of the house. He definitely needed some sleep.

"I get it, master. I'll think about your words."