The Vespidian

Arc 8 Superficial

Chapter 2

The day that I had somewhat been dreading and strangely enough looking forward to had arrived. It was my meeting with Chief and the prospective Sponsors. However, before any of that, I had to see my personal toad, err I mean therapist. I was not looking forward to this. Wearily, I opened the door to her office and she sat there looking through some papers.

“So you have finally come,” she said, glancing up, “You should start making it a habit of being on time. Especially, if you are serious about Sponsors. At any rate, sit down and get comfortable.”

I took her advice and lay upon the black leather couch across from the chair that Miss Mickenson would soon be sitting in. After a few minutes, she finished up with what she had been doing when I arrived. I stared at the ceiling mostly, with listless eyes. Tired. It feels like all I want to do lately is sleep. Her movement drew my attention. She wore a gray suit today, not quite as shabby as the first time we met. Still, though, she was rounded and filled the clothes a bit too much. Her perfumed stench irritated my antennae.

She sat down and placed the recording device on the table between us. “So Vesper, is there anything you wanted to talk about?”

“I don’t know.”

I must have sounded rather down due to what she said next, “Is something wrong? You don’t sound like the usual snarky, in my face pervert that I had come to expect. Then again, with how jumbled up and all over the place you are really I should not be surprised.”

“Just not in the mood,” I replied.

“Well, care to talk about it? You know, it is kinda why I am here. It is my job to listen to people bitch and whine about stuff. So feel free to vent.”

“Tell me, Miss Mickenson… have you ever been in love?”

She sat there pondering for a moment, clearly not expecting a question in return, “I thought that I was once, but it didn’t go too well. Why do you ask?”

“The woman that I loved died the other day, and it was my fault.”

Mickenson seemed startled, “Wait, what? I didn’t hear about anybody dying.”

“She was not a hero, so you would not have heard.”

She nodded a little, “Tell me more about her. What attracted you to her? What makes you think it was your fault?”

I smiled sheepishly, “Her name was Astrea and she was probably the cutest, most innocent being I have ever met. She was a lot like a child and that made me want to protect her, yet in the end, it was me who ended up being protected.”

“Sounds like she was somebody special.”

“She certainly was. Just smelling her sweet aroma was more than enough to make me feel better. Now that she is gone, I feel empty inside, so lonely, unmotivated and I have even been contemplating suicide. Funny how someone I only knew for a couple days has had this much of an effect on me.”

She had quietly listened to me, “A few days? I think you might be blowing this out of proportion a little. Sounds a lot like Romeo and Juliet, don’t you think?”

“Sort of? Hmm, I guess I am acting like an angsty teen. Must be all the raging hormones. Still, I can’t just forget her, she completed me. A human like you can’t possibly understand our bond, our connection.”

Mickenson seemed a little wary over my outburst, “You lost me, what does me being human have to do with this? Wait, then Astrea was a subhuman?”

“She was certainly not a squishy human. Her carapace was rather robust. As far as I know, Astrea was the only other of my species. Can you possibly imagine what it would be like to be the last living human on the planet? Surrounded by aliens who look upon you with disdain and fear over what I might do and not what I have done?”

There was a long silence between us, “Vesper, not everyone hates you. In fact, most people don’t even notice you. Sure, you are creepy and potentially dangerous, but I mean you haven’t really done anything to warrant what you are talking about. Have people been picking on you?”

“… Not really. At the least, not recently.”

“Then where is all this hate coming from?”

“I am trying to stay positive. But it feels like every time I get something going the way that I want it, everything goes to shit. I mean really, all that I want out of life is enough money to live comfortably with lots and lots of food, play video games, and maybe find someone who loves me and fucks my brains out every day. Is that so much to ask? I know, I know the last part is a tall order.”

“You do realize you can get rich really fast off of Sponsorships, right?”

“Wait, really?”

“…” Mickenson rubbed her face a little, reminded me of a toad. “Seriously? They didn’t tell you the details about Sponsorships?”

“Ugh, not really. I thought that was what the meeting with Chief today was about.”

“Ok, let me illuminate this for you. So companies will place bids on Heroes and sometimes Villains, these bids are more or less a retainer fee to the Hero League to reserve said Hero to more or less be contracted out to said company. There is a whole bunch of legal hoops you will have to jump through, but I am sure you will be fine. Once you have a sponsorship depending on how popular you are or successful in marketing your image has been you will be selling their products or simply promoting them. Usually with commercials and ads. There are many ways to do this and it is different for each company. Your starting salary will be small, but as your fame and fans increase then so will your merchandising. If you are successful, then you even get toys and comic books, hell normal books and even movies made about you. And you get paid a royalty fee for all of the above. In other words, Sponsorships are all about being popular. Think of it as being a celebrity/actor, there are many parallels between the two. Let me warn you, it is a rather cutthroat environment.”

“Cutthroat? How do you know so much about this?”

“Yes, it is very competitive, but I am sure a rivalry will do you some good. I have a few other patients who have sponsorships. So, I tend to hear about this sort of thing a lot.”

“How will having a nemesis be good for me?”

“I thought you watched anime?”

I puffed up, ruffling my tendrils I see! “Of course I do! What does that have to do with this?”

“Simple really, what does every main character in all of those shows have? An adversary, especially in the sports and idol genres. It will force you to strive harder to accomplish your goals or taste the bitter defeat of having your jobs stolen from you.”

“Well, when you put it that way. I can see your point. They can do that?”

“Well, yes. If your sponsor finds someone they like better, then they can terminate your contract. Though there are restrictions and it does take a while. Make sure you read the fine print.”

“Thanks for the advice. You know, you are not so bad.”

“Coming around I see,” Miss Mickenson smirked.

“Hey now, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“At any rate, this was an enjoyable session. I hope that you can be this amiable from now on.”

“Over already?”

“It is that time after all. You should not be late for your first meeting. Remember these people will be on the look out for bad habits and taking notes.”

“Thanks.”

“You are welcome, see you next week.”

I am genuinely surprised that Mickenson was actually helpful. Maybe these meetings are actually paying off? I think that this may have actually been the most progressive session yet. I am actually rather excited about what the future holds, assuming I don’t fuck it up. I stood before the door to Chief’s office. I could hear talking inside, seems that the sponsors are already here. I took a deep breath and after a moment of hesitation opened the door.

He sat at his desk wearing his hero outfit, the smaller brick red suit. By his side was Dreamer in her blue magician Esq outfit, the mask covering her face seemed different than I recall. Ah, it was not melted anymore. Sort of reminded me of those laughing and crying masks at a drama house. At any rate, it was smiling. Not sure what I should take away from that. Speaking of which, why the hell is she even here?

There were a few other people in here, two to be exact. They looked like professional business dudes. Clean cut, shaven and not a wrinkle to be seen on their suits. They smelled like coconut, oddly enough, must be their shampoo. I am getting a lawyery vibe from these guys. Oh no, the blood suckers are out in force today.

Everyone’s attention turned to me when I entered. I got a nod of approval from Chief, “Mecha Fairy right on time.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, “Thanks Chief, so you mind explaining what this is all about?”

Dreamer spoke instead of Chief, “These are your prospective sponsors. They will make their introductions and give you their pitch. Choose whichever you like or both if you feel up to it.”

“What if I don’t like either of them?”

“Then we will try to find another sponsor, but keep in mind with your accomplishment I would not try my luck. It is a miracle that these two have taken an interest. Sponsorships are more for seasoned Heroes.”

I gulped, “Point taken. So, eh, who is first.”

The guy with black slicked back hair turned to me. NERD! My nerdar was going off. He’s got a pen protector on his undershirt. “Pleasure to meet you, I represent TSI or if you are not familiar with us, the Tesla Science Institute. Recently, we have taken an interest in you. You should feel honored.”

I had never heard of this company before, is it even a company? It sounded more like some think tank than anything else. Tesla sounded familiar though… “You wouldn’t happen to be related to a certain Dr. Tesla would you?”

He looked at me with a straight face, “We broke ties with Dr. Tesla after he went underground. The only thing we have in relation to him would be the name, he did found the TSI after all.”

“Alright, so what do you guys even do?”

“Well, we do many things. From charity work, to campus funding, to the sciences. Our current college program is going rather well and just last year we paid for a hundred scholarships.”

“What exactly do you get out of sending people to college?”

“Well, in addition to usually getting promising young scientists to work for us, we get significant tax write offs.”

“Ok? So what would you want me to do?”

“We would like to send you back to school. On the condition that you pursue a career in Biology, Mechanical Engineering, or something similar. We have heard about your promising talents.”

I stared at him, “Eh, what now? What talent?”

He seemed troubled looking over at Dreamer and she replied, “Mecha Fairy, do not play coy. They have been informed of your hyper learning.”

“Hyper Learning!? This is the first I have heard about this.”

“So Neon Nurse has kept this from you I see… alright. Mecha Fairy, your cognitive functions are much higher than a human’s. You learn faster than you should and for the most part, you retain the knowledge. Think of your brain as a sponge. That is what my team of researchers found during your two months of testing.”

“Testing? You mean when you locked me in a cage and poked me with sticks and treated me like an animal?”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“I feel that we have gotten off topic,” said the TSI representative. “Our offer is still good, we await your reply.”

He stepped to the side and the other guy stepped forward. He had short blonde hair with green eyes. He was kinda handsome. For some reason I was getting some car salesman vibes from this guy. “John, John Johnson at your service.”

Johnson, you say? My eyes roamed down. I didn’t see any bulge, but then again he was wearing pants that would make it a little hard to see unless it was like a third leg.

He continued, “I represent Bronson Atomic Industries. Now I know what you might be thinking, what does a multi billion dollar Industry giant like BAI want with me? Well, let me tell you! We heard you helped clean out the sewers and we want to give you something special as our thanks. We did a fair amount of research on you to figure out exactly what you would want. For starters here is an all you can eat buffet coupon for Mongolian BBQ over in Down Town.”

Dear god, he is a mind reader! I snatched it out of his hand. I was drooling just thinking about all that meat and noodles and squid-san, wait a minute! Get a hold of yourself Vesper this is all a clever ruse. What price does this smorgasbord of food have, it is my soul isn’t it?

“This is strings attached?”

“Nope, just yours enjoy!”

Guh, something is fishy, nobody just gives me shit for free. “Alright, alright, stop hamming it up, what do you want out of me? Let me guess, you want me to be a Nuclear Engineer or something?”

He had a blank look for a moment, “Oh, that is not what we had in mind, but if you wanted to be one we could facilitate it.”

“Wait, so you weren’t trying to recruit me into the RND department?”

He shook his head and managed to get his left arm over my shoulder, which was hard since I was currently almost two feet taller than him. I didn’t really know how to respond to this and I ended up having to bend down a little. He continued, “We over at BAI want you to be a sort of mascot if you would.”

“A mascot? I don’t really get you.”

“It is simple really we want you to be the new face of BAI.”

“Haven’t you guys been getting a bad rap over all the mutants and shit in the sewers and the illegal dumping of nuclear waste?”

“None of that is our fault. We run a clean and environment friendly operation. If the Atomic Raiders didn’t attack our transports, there would be almost no pollutants in the city. We recycle the waste in a very green way. Company secret, can’t just tell you.”

On one hand, I know first hand how the Atomic Raiders are and on the others something is telling me this guy is full of shit. Environmentally friendly? Green? Yeah, I bet it is green, glowing so brightly you can see it from space. Don’t you be throwing those buzz words at me. What am I a brain dead zombie? I am really not liking these options. I guess I should hear him all the way out though.

“Alright, so what exactly did you want me to do?”

“As I said, we want you to be a mascot.”

“What does that entail?”

“Commercials, photo shoots and maybe more that is all just for starters.”

“Nothing illegal?”

“No. In fact, nothing even Super related.”

“Then why even get me?”

“Well, we like you. You are an up and comer. You got a bright future if you are willing to work for it.”

Both John and the TSI guy handed over some documents. From what I could see they were contracts. I started reading through it and my brain felt like it was turning to mush over all the legal jargon. The Proposal for BAI wasn’t really that bad. The TSI one though required me to go back to school. Not a chance in hell was I going back. It sounded too good to be true and likely was. Only a single thought crossed my mind.

“I… I need my lawyer!”

A rattle sound came from the side and out, pounced Mark Dirkstein. I nearly fell over out of sheer surprise as he straightened his suit, “Did someone say lawyer?”

“Helix above! Where the hell did you come from?”

“Details, details,” he said, brushing off my complaints. I mean, I was looking for him, but seriously, where did he come from? Was it a vent? It has to be a vent, right? Unless… oh, my god, Mark is a ninja. It is the only thing that makes sense here. He was hiding behind a false wall just waiting for the most opportune moment this whole time, wasn’t he?

He took the documents and sifted through them with ease, truly a pro at this sort of thing. He nodded a few times and took to my side, whispering to me, “Alright, this looks pretty straight forward. My fee will be five percent off the top. Usually, I charge twenty, but since Dr. Arbor is a good friend I will give you a discount.”

“How much are we talking here?”

“Well, depending on how you do it could be a lot of money or it could be almost worthless and if it ends up like that I will cut you loose. Time is money and I got better things to do than waste it. So let’s make this worthwhile for both of us, shall we?”

“What the hell do I get out of this?”

He replied, pointing to himself, “You get my expert legal advice and I will handle the paperwork.”

Something seems fishy here. But, I can trust Mark. At the least, I think I can. He has had my back against the quacks and kept me from going to the funny farm. Sure the guy is kinda sketchy, but he is a criminal defense lawyer so that kinda comes with the territory. I don’t really see why he would fuck me over here. Especially since from the sounds of it, I am a golden goose. It doesn’t make any sense to kill the goose. The more money I make, the more money he makes, seems like a good deal.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you know about this, by the way?”

“Dr. Arbor gave me a heads up last week.”

“Oh, I see,” Well, there we have it.

I shook his hand and he pulled out a contract. He came prepared. I looked it over, very carefully. Especially the fine print and assuming I understood every word there in full context then it was exactly what he had said. He will basically be my agent and be getting me jobs and making sure stuff was up to snuff. His cut was even the five percent that he mentioned. I couldn’t find anything wrong with it. I stared him in the eyes and he wore a business face, not hinting at any, well, inner thoughts really. I signed it and he set to work negotiating for me. Something tells me I just signed a deal with the devil.

“Before I sign this I want a tour of your facility. I want to know who it is exactly that I am working for.” I said looking at Johnson.

“That is easy enough. I can take you right over, today if you would like.”

“And, and I demand food large portions in my contract on a daily basis.”

He thought it over, waiting to see if I had any other demands, seeing that I didn’t he replied, “Every other day.”

“Three meals a day.”

“One meal a day, kids meal.”

“Two meals a day, all you can eat.”

He seemed distressed over it, holding up two fingers, “Two meals a day of normal size.”

I thought it over, tapping at my chin. Hmm, well it is a start. “Three meals a day of normal sizes.”

“We will see. Keep in mind if you do good, then we won’t have any problems upping your funding.”

“Alright, well I want it in writing so write up a new contract and I will sign it after my lawyer approves of it.”

“Sounds reasonable.”

“What about us?” said the other guy.

“I don’t think so. Look you might be nice people, but I don’t feel like dealing with that sort of stuff again.”

Though I did not voice it, another reason would be that I was suspicious that TSI was merely a money laundering business front for Dr. Tesla. Something tells me they are getting lots of donations from various anonymous sources and said money is being funneled elsewhere. I mean it makes sense and if he was behind it then he might try to get me. I had never even heard of these guys before today. Of course, I could just be imagining things and be overly delusional and paranoid. Either way, I ain’t taking my chances. So that was out. BAI might be a little sketchy, but then again, nothing is squeaky clean either. There is a lot of fucked up shit even in the Hero League and I call this place home.

“So when can we start the tour?” I asked John.

“Whenever you are ready.” He replied.

Chief finally spoke up, “Report back with your contract when it is signed or if you choose to not sign up. We need to have it logged for legal reasons, lawsuits and the like.”

“Okie Dokie.” I gave him a thumbs up.

I have never been in the main facility I wonder what it is like? I wonder if it will be like Charlie and the chocolate factory, but with radioactive isotopes? Oh my god! Will there be singing and dancing midgets painted orange?