The Vespidian

Arc 2 Me, Myself, and Neon Nurse

Chapter 5

She grinned and set to work fixing her neck. It did not take long for her to actually get it reattached and rewired. It was supposed to take an hour, but it only took ten minutes, and she was not even looking at what she was doing. Is she actually a genius? I got bored and started looking around. I found Mittens. He was an orange tabby, at the least half of one. The back half was metallic, and little robot paws clinked as he walked. His tail was long and corded with metal. Half of his skull was metal, and the right eye glowed green.

Gotta admit he was kinda cute. Mittens was not a happy creature, at the least not around me. He hissed and backed away every time I got near. Do animals hate me now or something? I just want to pet the damned cat, come here you little fucker! Why you make this so difficult? Just accept my love, will you!

Eventually, I cornered him, bad move. The little bastard had metal teeth. He bit my hand like a bulldog and would not let go. The jaw literally locked; there was a metal hinge, and it was stuck. His tail was like a sword, and he kept trying to stab me with it! Neon Nurse just hummed away while I wrestled with her cyborg monster. She did not care! She did not care about the damned cat or me.

I managed to rip Mittens off before he could shank me. He bolted across the room. I shook my fists at the furry terror.

Note to self, Mittens is an asshole.

“All better.” Smiled Neon Nurse turning to face me. Her neck was correctly aligned and, as far as I could tell, perfectly fine now. “Now then, we still have so much to do.”

“What more is there to do?” I wearily asked her.

“I need to clean you off.”

“Clean me off? Am I filthy or something?”

“To put it simply, yes. You had been crawling around through garbage and certain... shall we say excretions were released during your examination.”

“Oh great, so I pissed myself?”

She nodded, and I sighed. I can’t really smell it, but then again, my antenna were more concerned about my pheromones than much else lately. It could also be that I got used to the smell. That is a disturbing thought. She led me over to a room on the side of her medical center. It was more of a chamber, and I was getting some; ‘going to be put down’ vibes from the place.

Neon Nurse had me stand at the center of room, and then she walked out. I was half expecting poison gas to pour out of the vents, but instead, water gushed out from all around. The sprays were directed at me it felt like fire hoses. They rotated and got every nook and cranny before shutting off. My antenna drooped, and my wings were waterlogged. To put it mildly, I felt like a drowned rat. My vents opened and shook off the water like a dog; my whole body vibrated for a moment then I was dry again. That is useful. The door opened, and she led me over to a bench to sit down.

“That it?”

“Not quite. Hold out your arm. I am going to take some blood samples and start running it through the system.”

“Wait, you did not take blood already? Isn’t that supposed to be the first thing you do?”

“I was far more interested in your components. Honestly, you should not be awake right now; I tranquilized you with enough of my special sleepy-time juice to put down a horse. I will remember to up the dosage next time. I was about to start on the blood work, but then you woke up.”

“Do I have to?”

“Oh yes. I need to know more about you. Otherwise, if you get hurt by a villain, I won’t be able to save you. That would be very sad to lose such an interesting specimen.”

“I thought I was your friend?”

“You are, but you are also my research specimen. When performing medical procedures, my brain is set to disregard emotion. After all, it is difficult to do what needs to be done if you have silly little things getting in the way.”

“That sounds scary as hell. I don’t know if I want to let you even touch me.”

“Don’t be silly. See, that is one of the emotions I was talking about. If I was scared, I would never be able to save a patient’s life. I have an outstanding track record. I have only lost five patients over the course of the last eight years, and those were in my first year of doing this. If I was not trustworthy, why would everyone here put their lives in my hands?”

She had a point, but I was still unsure. My reluctance seemed to give her what she wanted. She decided to take the initiative. She grabbed my hand and stretched out the arm, rubbing a cotton swab with alcohol over my elbow joint. The gigantic needle approached, and I looked away, covering my eyes. I felt the pressure, it did not hurt. It was not so bad. She must do this a lot.

Been in there for a while.... why am I feeling light-headed? I looked over, and the massive compartment was filled with my yellow blood. She plucked it out with a satisfied face, and I fell over. My eyes blurred.

“I seem to have taken just a little too much.” She put the syringe into a compartment and pulled it off. A new one replaced it in the gun like handle. “You will be fine, though. Just need to feed you something. You like protein paste?”

“Meat. I want meat.”

“Alright, Mittens, you heard her. It was fun, but you are the emergency food supply.” Said Neon Nurse holding up her cyber cat. He meowed pathetically and looked terrified. I would be, too, if I was at her mercy.

“What do I look like, some animal? I don’t want to eat your damned cat!”

She sighed and tossed him over her shoulder. He clattered somewhere back there. No wonder he is an asshole. Would she have really fed me her cat? I am starting to feel bad for that poor thing. He slunk off somewhere. I hope he finds a nice hole to crawl into so that this bitch can’t find him. My stomach was groaning.

“Meat.”

“Yes, yes. Let me see what is in the fridge.”

“You did not even see what was in the fridge before offering your cat up as a sacrifice? What is wrong with you!”

“I was joking; I would not feed you Mittens. He is all metal and bones. Let me tell you, he has been through worse than almost being eaten.”

I get the feeling that she was not joking. She looked awfully serious there. “Somehow, I don’t want to know.”

She just smiled and opened up a mini-fridge over by the samples table. She closed it after a moment, and she had a can in her hand... cat food. “This is about it. I don’t eat anything other than paste so... Mittens likes it, though. Oh, look at that three percent ground beef and ten grams of protein.”

“I ain’t eating cat food! Give me people food!”

“Fine, I will show you where all the organics eat.”

“Organics?”

“Yeah. Non Cyborgs. I don’t remember when I started calling everything that. Been a few years. It makes it a lot easier to rationalize things. You though, you are my little alien.”

I could sense some sort of complication? Repressed trauma? Whatever the hell it was, I was staying out of it. You just don’t go sticking your nose into other people’s business. That is how you get crazy yandere bitches chasing you around. Just be a little nice and bam! Crazy person chasing you with a knife or a syringe gun. I was not going to delve into her life. It is bad enough that she is shoving robo snakes into mine. In fact, I was seriously reconsidering the whole deal thing we had after what she did to Mittens. Something tells me it might already be too late, though. I just hope I can stay far away from her. She opened the door, and we left along the corridors.

“Thanks... I guess?”

“No need to thank me. What kind of food do you usually eat?”

“Junk food. At the least, that is what I want to eat.”

“It is not good to indulge too often.” She said, wagging her finger at me. “A strict diet of protein paste will keep you healthy and happy.”

“When was the last time you had a burger?”

“I don’t remember. For the last five years, the paste has been my diet.”

“How do you still like it?” I gave her a pointed look. “Usually, if I eat the same thing for like a week straight, I start throwing up the moment I try to eat it.”

“I turned off my taste buds long ago.”

“So you have no taste?”

“Nope. I have no use for it.”

“Turn it back on and have a burger with me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I would be your friend.”

She looked me over twice. Then reluctantly nodded. “You drive a hard bargain. For friendship?”

I nodded, and she smiled shyly. She must not have many friends. I mean, she is latching onto me, a bug mutant. Although she is a cyborg, so she is not exactly normal herself. Her intrusive practices probably drives away anybody that is not already damaged. Did I just put myself down? Damn it. Now I am feeling bad for her and myself. Why am I such a nice person? At any rate, I can use her and maybe find a way to fix myself. My last resort would be to get a cyborg body, but something tells me she would not let that happen unless I inseminated her.

Well, I guess we all have problems. I wish I could just be a dick and not care about other people. Then again, that sounds very lonely. I am tired of being alone. I just want a fucking friend who won’t torture me. Granted, I might be barking up the wrong tree here. Although she has not exactly lied to me about anything yet, maybe she is not that bad? Well... I will give it a try at the least.

She showed me the way to the cafeteria. It was very similar to Dr. Tesla’s; there were a few differences, but did they all have the same designer or something? The walls were thick concrete and the paint smelled of lead. It was the same throughout the building. It made one wonder was this place made to withstand a nuke? Although it might be because there are a few supers who are radioactive. Lead in the paint, was there asbestos in the roof too? The problem is this stuff is not good for you. I suppose it is a suitable preventative measure. The alternative seemed to be far worse.

A conveyor belt slowly moved in a circle, and prepackaged meals sat at intervals of a foot. They cycled through six types of food; turkey dinner with mashed potatoes, Salisbury steak, a gooey protein paste, an assortment of salad, steamed vegetables, and a chicken dinner. They were all canned, so I was a bit skeptical over how they would be. I was surprised that they supplied such a variety. Where did it all come from, though? The belt led into the wall and circled back with more of the same. There must be a kitchen staff or something back there. It turns out you could get as much as you wanted, but it was deducted from your paycheck automatically. Since I had no money, Neon Nurse bought me a turkey and chicken dinner. We sat off to the side, and she stared expectantly. It was like she was observing some animal or something. Why does everybody treat me like some creature?

I stared at the container of food for a long moment. It was strange, to say the least. The side said, shake me on it, so I did. The result was a bubbling broth of liquid that solidified into a chicken dinner, complete with roasted skin. I stared in wonder at this. How was this possible? Does it taste like chicken? I poked at it like some unidentified organism and finally ripped a piece off. The texture was right, the smell was right, so I fed the chunk into my mouth, and the taste was savory. It was chicken alright, in a can. What sorcery is this! I might get addicted. The feeling that I looked like a ravenous beast came to mind as I shoveled in the whole chicken, and I did not care; it tasted too good. There were bones, but I crunched them up all the same. Neon Nurse stared at me with sparkling eyes. I turned away from her and kept eating. It was my food, and I was not sharing! I think food might be the bane of my existence.

“You look so happy when you are eating.”

“Do I?”

“Oh my yes. It is the first time I have seen such a veracious expression. To feast with such abandon, it must certainly be delectable.” Smiled Neon Nurse.

I started feeling self-conscious and glanced around. Every eye in the room was looking at me. The familiar disgust and revolting expressions covered most of the people here. Damn it. Some of these are Supers too, they must think I am a freak now. Although since it was rather late, there were not that many people in here. Looked to be about ten, counting Neon Nurse and me. I buried my head in my arms. I wanted to at the least make a good impression with these people. I peeked out, keeping myself from crying, and I saw Captain Metal. So I see he is not dead. Guess that means the venom really is only paralytic. He did not look happy to see me. His super outfit was the same as always, sleek and light. The low-density plating to the chest, legs, and arms gave off a certain eloquent vibe. The helmet was as mysterious as ever concealing all but his lower, smooth shaved face. His sonic pistol was holstered at his hip, and there was another hero by his side. It was Black Panther, well, just Panther now.

Panther had to deal with a bunch of people calling it racist since he was black and was not calling himself Black Panther. Only in California, right? Activist groups tried to lift him up as an icon of the black movement, but he did not want it to be a race thing. Only reason I even knew about it was because of college and those damned leftists dragging race into everything. It was big news at the time. I think there was something to do with copyright laws too.

The Black Panthers activist group, although I suppose they are more of a terrorist group than a social rights activist group, tried to stir up a lot of trouble about it. They took him to court and stuff over it. Cancel culture at its finest. I recall some rioting as well.

I mean the whole thing was stupid and crazy. Both sides were wrong. Some wanted to call him African Panther, others Black Panther. I never got why they didn’t just call him American Panther or the Bronson Panther if they wanted to bring out that sort of stuff.

He was born and raised here in Bronson for fuck sake, so what did Africa even have to do with it? He was not even that dark, and I always thought it was stupid how people fought over the color of skin. As far as I was concerned, Humans were Humans, get over it. I mean, at the least, they are all human, right? I, on the other hand, have my own worries. Where the hell is the bug person union?

They were eyeballing me. Captain Metal grimaced. “Are you fucking serious? Why is that thing here? Panther, you said it was dead.”

“Dude, I kicked her head so hard it twisted backward.”

I glared at them. “I could have killed you, and I did not, even though both of you tried to kill me. So what the hell is your problem?”

“You. Go back to the slums.”

“I was never in the slums, to begin with,” I said with my hands on my hips. “The whole reason that fight even started was because you shot me, unprovoked, and were threatening to ship me off to Glitter Kitten.”

Panther looked at me for a long moment, then back at his partner. “Wait, you started it?”

“Who are you going to trust her or me?”

“I am going to stay out of this. I know how hot-headed you get. Especially when it involves the Mad Dogs.”

Panther wore an all-black, and form-fitting blue suit that I had a very strong suspicion was incredibly durable. Can you even imagine the wear and tear from running around with super speed? His thighs must chafe like crazy. I wonder how many shoes he goes through a week. He has to have a sponsorship or something; there is no way he is paying for all of that. What happens if he is running in the rain? Depending on how fast he went, wouldn’t each raindrop be like getting hit in the face with a brick? The more that I thought about it, the worse super speed sounded. Guess it depends on how his power works.

There was a white circle in his chest and the black Panther in the middle. He wore a visor helmet and looked muscled but thin. His legs though, were so well defined I could make out every curve. He clearly never skipped leg day. I ended up staring at his groin; this guy was hung. It was pretty damned hard to miss with skin tights.

“So freak. Is there a reason you are floating around here instead of in jail?”

“Hey, don’t say that, man. You don’t choose what powers you get.” Said Panther.

“Yeah, but I mean, look at it!”

I stared, trapped between wanting to cry and deck him in the face. It was bad enough that I felt like one; you don’t have to point it out! My throat felt like a chicken was stuffed in there whole, and I was choking.

Is there a chicken in there?

My mandibles were clicking with irritation. At the least Panther did not look too into it. Captain Metal knocked my turkey onto the floor. My food! Nobody fucks with my food! I glared at him for a moment, he just smirked. He was not even scared of me, just utterly disgusted. I hate my life. I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere.

“It is not nice to call others names.” Said Neon Nurse standing.

“You stay out of this.” He shoved her over.

“You are always so hot-headed. Let’s not do this.” Said Panther looking around, a little worried. It was not as though anybody else was leaping to my defense, but this did not particularly look good.

“He’s right, he’s right. Violence is never the answer.” Smiled Neon Nurse getting back up, she wobbled a little, though.

“So how did this thing even get in here?” He asked, pointing at me. “I was getting reports about this monster running around the city all night. I mean Jesus, did you guys see the reports? It was eating dogs and cats in the streets and hunting people. Not only that it attacked me and almost killed me.”

“That is simple. She was brought in by Fire Chief. She even came peacefully.”

“That guy again? He needs to stop dragging in these sub-humans. It is giving us a bad name.”

Neon Nurse smiled. “I think you are the one giving us a bad name, glory hog. What is the matter, jealous that you did not catch the monster? Or are you just mad because she beat your ass?”

“Shut up Robo Tramp!” He socked her right in the face, and she took a step back. It did not look like he did any real damage but still, what the fuck man, there was no reason to hit her. I mean, I don’t have much room to stand on after snapping her neck but still. I stirred, and he pulled out his pistol aiming it at me. “Don’t take a step, you ugly freak.”

“What are you, a high school bully?” I asked, readying myself to lunge should he try anything. “I can’t believe you were my favorite hero.”

“Shut it you bug bitch.” He glared. “I don’t know what sewer you crawled out of, but do us all a favor and go back.”

“I won’t let you harm my patient. This is hardly appropriate behavior for the Hero League. Maybe I should bring this up with brass? You should know Dream knows everything after her visit in her head. In other words, we know you abused her and instigated the fight.”

“We don’t need freaks like that ruining our reputation.”

“You are doing an outstanding job all by yourself in that department.”

“Dude, I know you are pissed because we spent all night looking for her but come on.” Said Panther trying to divert the fight. He seemed downright reasonable. I mean, he should have helped sooner, but I will take what I can get. “This is the type of shit that goes on your record.”

“Look at that thing, man!” Shouted Captain Metal. The whole room rustled, and I felt like they had all just turned against me. “There is no way it is not an undercover Super Villain trying to sabotage us from the inside. It is a monster that was cooked up in a lab for fuck sake!”

“It is not nice to call people Villains or monsters.” Glared Neon Nurse.

“Fine then, bug freak. Happy?”

“She is beautiful. Do not demean her.”

“I don’t care what you think. She is a danger. We can’t have her here.”

“Well, then where will she go?”

“Whatever pit she crawled out of.”

“And who is going to make her?”

“Me.” He snapped back, raising the gun at me. I froze for a second, but in that moment, Neon Nurse moved.

“Violence is never the answer. Love and peace is the solution.” She grinned, stabbing the syringe into his arm. It went right through his suit. What the hell was that thing made of diamonds?

A green liquid was pushed into him, and he screamed lopsidedly, aiming the sonic gun and firing. Her leg crumpled in, and she listed to the side. Panther just rubbed his face, looking like he did not want anything to do with this. Is this shit normal? Is there a lot of infighting among the heroes? I think being a Superhero is scarier than I thought. He fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes and dropped the gun. She smiled, pulling out a length of measuring tape and wrapping it around his hands.

“When you wake up, we will have a nice little chat, and who knows, you might have an extra arm on your back. I won’t report this, but you need to understand. Vespidian is one of us now, and if we do not stick together, we are doomed. If we kill each other, who will fight the bad people?”

He was not listening at all, though, pretty hard to when you are out cold. That being said, it looked more like she was talking to the room rather than him. There were murmurs and mumbles, none of which seemed happy. I suspected that I just pissed off a lot of people. It wasn’t fair I did not even do anything. He started it. Why are they giving me such cold looks? Wait, what the hell was that about eating cats and dogs?

“I don’t eat pets!” I pointed at Panther.

“Oh really?”

“Well, she did turn down Mittens.” Said Neon Nurse.

“Wait, so that is why you thought I wanted to eat your cat?”

“Well, we were getting lots of reports.”

Panther eyed me. “So that was not you?”

“Nope. I stole a bag of burgers, got mugged by some bums, mauled Captain Metal, went on a magical adventure in the sewers, and saved two cops.”

“Oh fuck.” Said Panther rubbing his chin. “So there is something else still running around out there? God damn it! Looks like another all-nighter.”

They filed out slowly, and Panther dragged Captain Metal with him. He at the least looked a little sorry about all this. Maybe it was regret for snapping my neck? I think he believes me about the pets. Who the fuck eats pets? It did not look like anybody else believed me besides Neon Nurse. What the fuck?! I wanted to scream, but I kept it in. Is this some schoolyard clique shit? I thought these people were supposed to be Heroes, professionals. Why are they acting like a bunch of kids? Molotov’s shit was way more organized than this. That was a destructive thought process. How the hell can I rely on these people to protect me from a cold-blooded Russian spy who has an army at her disposal, super strength, and god knows what else.

“Still hungry?” She asked with a grin. I nodded vaguely, and she got me another turkey dinner.

We sat there, and she just watched while I picked at my food. My thoughts were turning dark. I did not know what I expected from coming here. It could have been worse. I could be strapped down to a table being dissected. It could be better they did not exactly take me in with open arms, not most of them anyway. I don’t expect to be liked by everybody that is crazy to even consider, but I did not think there would be this much resistance. I thought they would be more understanding. The vague idea that it would be better to go back to Molotov and beg her to take me in again came creeping in, but I strangled it to death. I was never going back to her. I will make this work. It does not have to be perfect.