《Isekai Butler [Hiatus pending rewrite]》Chapter 22: Band of Bandits
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I’d been talking to Baldric for about an hour, which was longer than it had taken me to get through conversations with both Chanak and Ellem, combined. In fact, talking would be quite the overstatement. I was primarily relegated to the role of a mute listener, as Baldric regaled me with tales of his heroics from the previous night. Apparently, he had managed to save us all from the Calamity by convincing us that we simply had to think “Happy thoughts”, and then fighting it using his rapier until it finally collapsed. He seemed very proud of it too, and I wasn’t quite sure how to break reality to him, so I opted not to.
Unlike my previous two conversations, Fay had simply left when she saw I was approaching Baldric. Apparently she didn’t think she could add anything to the conversation. Or maybe, she just preferred not to interact with the blustering, pompous man.
“And that, Sir, is how you defeat a Calamity! Very similar to defeating a Brushwhacker back home, albeit with a certain gravitas that Brushwhacker’s cannot provide!” Baldric had finally finished his tale, and appeared to be waiting for a response.
“Indeed, Sir Baldric. I am certain that all of Excelsia will…hang on your every word.”
“Damn straight they will! Now, why has the master of the House not yet made his way down here? Surely I merit a meeting with him?” He looked left and right, as though Aastor might be hiding under his bed, waiting for a cue.
“Ah, I am afraid that the Archmagus Emeritus is currently indisposed. However, I believe you shall meet with him soon.”
“Good, good. I expect to be handsomely rewarded, of course. And then we can be on our way.” He paused, as if suddenly remembering the events before the Calamity. “Ah, nevermind! I recall you wished to hire my little Band of Bandits? Well, after my antics last night, it shan’t be cheap, but certainly, Baldric the Buccaneer is available for hire.”
Chirrup!
Yes Kel, he’s annoying. But we have to bear with it. For…Ellem’s sake. Or Chanak! The man with the soup, remember?
Chir-Chirrup?
I’m sure he’ll make you some more if you ask nicely.
Chirrup!!
Baldric was certainly eager for gainful employment. I suspected that being employed by an Archmagus of Aastor’s connections and status was the best he could hope for. I wasn’t sure exactly how much he believed his own story, or if he was delusional, or if the Calamity had maybe altered his memories. Either way, I was happy to offer him the terms that Aastor had laid out.
“Well, the Archmagus, in his gratitude for your services, does have employment in mind.”
“I would expect no less. And I expect my wages are equivalent to my status?”
“Of course Sir Baldric. The Archmagus has judged your value…most perceptively.”
“And what are the terms he shall be offering me?”
“5 Crowns a week, along with free room and boarding.”
“Ha! A most handsome sum, if I was a mere stripling with no training. But surely, a Calamity-defying, Swashbuckling hero like me deserves more?”
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“I could not agree more, Sir Baldric. Shall we say…7 Crowns? I shall sway the Archmagus.” It was all I could do not to mockingly bow, but I was in the middle of putting together an elaborate performance for Baldric, and adding to it was going to result in me breaking character.
“Hmm…Well, if it’s for the Archmagus, I shall take 10 Crowns weekly, and you can let the Archmagus know he can count on Baldric the Buccaneer.” Baldric was gloating, as though he had the better of me. I simply bowed low.
“You do drive a hard bargain, Sir Baldric, but of course, we would not dream of offending you. Just…”
“Yes, Sir? Please, speak freely! Do not be afraid to speak your mind when in front of me.”
“Ah, most generous Sir. I was just wondering if…perhaps you could refrain from mentioning your own stipend before your underlings?”
“Hmmph! Of course, I would never be so crass. Do you take me for some lowborn whelp, to discuss finances before my compatriots?”
“Of course not Sir. Apologies.” I bowed low again. I couldn’t see his face, but the aura of self-satisfaction that Baldric exuded was palpable. Unfortunately, while wryly making fun of Baldric might have been fun, I didn’t want to spend more time with him than I had to.
Instead, I took my leave, bowing again as I left for good measure. Somehow, when I bowed to Aastor or was polite to Fay, it came from a place of genuine respect. However, with Baldric, it almost felt like I was insulting him. I wasn’t sure if Baldric was perceptive enough to notice the difference though, and he seemed more than….satisfied as I left. Which left me thinking that I could probably push his buttons a lot further under the guise of the humble Butler without getting into trouble for it.
Leaving the medical ward, I decided to head to my room and take a quick look at my quests. I didn’t want to use the extra stat points until I absolutely had to, so instead I decided to just take inventory and make sure I hadn’t missed anything important. Kel made herself at home on the desk once again, happily staking out the few square feet of her territory and nibbling at the corner of the wooden table.
Opening up my Quest menu, I was pleasantly surprised. I had expected some fairly easy, mechanical quests with decent rewards. That was how Isekai Hero typically worked: The first few levels were easy and then they got progressively harder. However, since the first Quest I’d ever gotten, to protect the Carriage, had required me to stake my life against a Calamity, I’d been concerned that Isekai Hero had abandoned the smooth difficulty curve altogether.
I didn’t need to worry. Looking at the Menu, I was greeted with a new complete Quest.
—————————————————————————————————————
Quest Completed: Day 1 Jitters
Main Objectives Completed:
✓ Meet Aastor (Employer Assigned)
✓ Meet Fay (Employer Assigned)
✓ Meet the Bandits in the Manor’s Medical Wing (Employer Assigned)
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Secondary Objectives Completed:
✓ Recruit all Bandits to your Cause
Hidden Objectives Completed:
✓ Recruit all Bandits to your Cause, but take a cut.
Total Rewards Obtained:
Employer Trust: 3 -> 10 (Unknown Quantity) (Main Objective) Class Ability Unlocked: Everywhere, All at Once (Secondary Objective) Skill Unlocked: Haggling (Hidden Objective)
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That was a LOT of rewards and notifications. Looking over it though, I had simply been rewarded for doing the things that Aastor had asked me to do, and a little extra for…fleecing the Bandits. Well, that certainly left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
The Butler class was certainly shaping up quickly, and it seemed like all my rewards and abilities were overly reliant on other people. Still, there was nothing I could do but look at the abilities and skills.
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Class Ability: Everywhere, All at Once (Lvl. 1) (Passive)
The Butler is the Acting Head of the Household Staff. Therefore, the Butler is in charge of assigning duties, monitoring their completion, and of managing the other members of the Household. After all, the Butler exists to lighten the load on the Employer!
The Butler is always aware of the location and physical status of subordinate household staff.
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Very interesting. The primary use of this skill, it seemed, was to actually just be able to control anyone who I had hired. Or rather, who Aastor had hired and who would be working under me. It was an odd skill though, very discordant with the rest of the Butler’s kit. After all, I was clearly not a leader class. The Butler was a support, not a general, strategist or a tank. And while I had excellent INT, CHA, DEX and Intuition growth, I wasn’t sure how that was going to play in with also having a skill that turned me into a party manager.
It was shaping up to be quite the Jack of All Trades class. But perhaps being a Butler would be more interesting than I’d thought initially?
***
Being a Butler was excessively boring. And exhausting to boot.
I’d barely had a chance to look over my newest class skill, and hadn’t even opened up Haggling, before Fay knocked on my door.
“Yes?”
“Congratulations!”
“..Congratulations?”
“It’s time for you to learn magic.”
“It…is?” Well, I’d expected Aastor to be teaching me himself. But hey, if an ancient Drakul was going to teach me instead, I’d happily learn from her. I hadn’t seen Fay carry a Spark, but I still couldn’t be sure that all Sparks were visible. Maybe there was a way to hide them, for safety?
“It is! And of course, the best way to learn is by doing.” Fay had a grin on her face, the kind of smile I’d imagine she wore while draining victims. I didn’t need a supernatural sense of intuition to know that I wouldn’t be happy with what Fay was going to say next. “By doing chores, I mean. I have a list, and you have Handel’s Guide, so I’d say we’ll make a good team, even if that book was published over a century ago.”
“Ah. And I imagine you won’t be helping?”
“Of course I will be!” She looked offended but before she could continue, I cut her short. I’d been part of this script before.
“Yes Ma’am. I’m sure your supervision will be most…crucial.” Ugh, aristocratic vampires and their love of supervising the help. As if supervision was really work.
On the one hand, I didn’t particularly want to do chores. A natural reaction for anyone, but I’d also spent the last few years being pampered and revered. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had to do anything as pedestrian as a chore. Heck, I was used to living in castles where I had armies of servants to do that for me.
“Will I have any actual help?”
“Are you saying I’m not actual help?” She pouted at me, and while it may have been adorable back in the 2nd Century, I was a little too annoyed to actually feel any emotions of kindliness towards her.
“Nevermind. May I take a look at the list?”
She handed it over to me. My expression must have changed for the worse as I read it, because Fay felt compelled to speak up.
“You don’t have to finish all of it today! Some of it is for the week.”
“Yes. I see that.” My voice was tight with annoyance. The list consisted of menial tasks, like washing the floors, sweeping, cooking, pruning the gardens, and a dozen other things that were meant for…well, for the help. Which I was. “Well, I guess we should get started?”
“Mhmm, we should. But before we do, and before we get into the magic, you’ll need to meet…” She gave a low whistle and looked around expectantly.
What happened next was…well, it was unfair, really. I loved Kel, but Kel wasn’t what I would call threatening. Or dangerous. Really, her main offensive ability was being far too adorable to harm. I mean, look at her!
Chirrup!!
It’s a compliment!
But when Fay whistled, one of the shadows at her feet peeled off the ground. In moments, it had extended out into the shape of an outstretched hand, albeit one that looked more like a claw than anything human. It reached towards me, and then waited.
“I think he wants to shake your hand.”
“It..He knows how to shake hands?”
The hand emphatically moved up and down.
“Blanc, meet Riri. Riri, this is the idiot I was telling you about.”
Upon hearing that, the hand quickly moved away from me, and reformed itself into a rude gesture that I am far too polite to repeat.
So not only did Fay get some kind of shadow creature that she could manipulate, but she had taught it how to insult me. Fantastic. This wasn’t unfair at all.
I looked at Kel and sighed.
At least she was still adorable.
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