《Messummer (Capstone Writing Assignment)》Writer's Speaks/Inspiration/Questions for Improvement
Advertisement
My Writer's Speaks:
Honestly, this piece was very hard for me to write. I've wanted to write a story about dinosaurs for so long, but I was always so scared, because I've offended people with this sort of material before. That's not this story's intention at all. It's just a sci-fi adventure piece with a twist.
What made this story hard was just all the research I had to do for it. It delayed it, so I got a late start, which proved to be very difficult with the time crunch and page limit for my class (twenty-five). I wanted to give up multiple times, but I always pushed myself to keep going. My goal was to toss in everything I've learned about writing since 4th grade into it, so I went to extreme lengths in order to pull Messummer off.
Dan is my favorite character, partly because I based him off my dad, whose name is also "Dan". That doesn't mean I don't love Messummer, too. These two characters came very naturally to me, because I knew what I wanted their story arc to be from the very beginning.
That said, the plot wasn't that difficult–not as difficult as Evangeline's Flame, at least (the other story I had to write for my class). To help with it, I watched a documentary on the K-T Mass Extinction. I was severely disturbed by it. I felt so bad for the dinosaurs, but I thought the extinction would be an interesting concept–one that you don't normally see in dinosaur stories. I tried to keep the disaster scenes at a minimum, in case people were uncomfortable with reading about animals trying to survive.
I threw some things in from my personal life, too. The death of Dan's mother mimics my brother's death, as well as Dan's lesson about moving on and accepting where he belongs. I wanted Messummer to be his mother's spirit, but I had a bit of trouble pulling it off. If you guys could give me suggestions on how to make this paranormal sub-plot work better, please do not hesitate.
Advertisement
Before I move on, I just want to say something really quick. I know the time traveling rules are bent in this story, but that's what I wanted. It was the only way to make Dan and Messummer's relationship work. Sometimes you have to bend the rules. I do that all the time when I write, but I still get called out for it.
Other than that, I hope you enjoyed Messummer.
Questions for Improvement:
1. Dan and Messummer are both important characters, so I considered writing the story from both their point of views. But with the time crunch, the page requirement, and late start of this story (due to all the research I had to do for it), I ended up writing from Messummer's perspective. What do you guys think? Should I write the story from both Dan and Messummer's point of views?
2. How can I make the paranormal sub-plot work better, with Messummer being the spirit of Dan's mom? I tried to include subtle details of it, but do you think I can add a few more? I want to make it not as obvious as Axis's secret in Evangeline.
3. I'm still new to sci-fi, so I'm wondering what's working and what I can do to improve in this genre?
Advertisement
- In Serial472 Chapters
The Bloodline System
In a future timeline, the earth was visited by a species known as the Slarkovs.Having lost their home planet and in search of a new one, earth was the next habitable planet for them.Humans and Slarkovs made a deal with each other in return for the Slarkovs living on earth.The Slarkovs traded their technology and knowledge for a new home.They were similar to humans except for some of them who had slight differences so fitting into the society wasn’t a problem.Over the years Slarkovs and humans began to mate with one another and reproduce offsprings.This in turn created a new species known as the mixed-blood.Centuries later mixedbloods could tap into their bloodline and perform unimaginable feats.Gustav born into an age where bloodline determines everything, struggles to fit with a useless bloodline.His bloodline only grants him the ability to change his hair color, destroying his hopes and dreams for a great future.His fate is turned around when an unexpected situation leads to him finding a system that grants him the power to unlock and upgrade bloodlines by completing quests but he’s baffled by two quests with a five-year deadline. Success will grant him unimaginable rewards…But only one thing awaits him if he fails… Death!Follow Gustav on his interesting journey filled with unprecedented adventures, danger and death, maybe?
8 9026 - In Serial57 Chapters
The Beautiful Jade
Portals are opening and the planes of cultivation are changing. Monsters that have long been sealed are breaking free. In the midst of these changes, a young girl named Jia Lin is sent to the Flowing Rivers Sect by her father in order to protect her from the eyes of a greedy prince. In the bloody and murder filled world of cultivators, she must figure out how to come to terms with the death and the destruction surrounding her. Releasing a chapter a week on Tuesdays.
8 425 - In Serial86 Chapters
Loopkeeper (Mind-Bending Time-Looping LitRPG)
"We know how it ends. We know how we die. And then the Loop begins anew." On the thirteenth day of Harvest, a mysterious woman enters Haven’s house of government and unleashes a devastation unlike anything seen in this world before. Lonely police recruit, Sham, is caught in the blast—and with it is thrown back in time nine days armed with a Legendary new skill. Now, he has just over a week to find this would-be terrorist before she can destroy the city of Haven and take countless lives in the process. But an investigation like this is never so simple. Dark cabals sell black market skill vials in the shadows. A strange new church emerges from nothing. Trained operatives pursue Haven’s future saviour. And the voices in Sham’s head seem to be getting louder. Updates Wednesdays and Sundays.
8 172 - In Serial6 Chapters
A Bloody Game
Eric Hunter, a boy who took a gamble with his life on the line, soon finds out that the pay off took a very different direction that he thought. Having just awoken from a pre-op only to find himself confused and all alone in a changed world and a hospital consumed by chaos he must do all he can to survive. In a new world where society crumbles and laws are merely pretty words on written paper, how will a boy who has been restricted his whole life live now that there is nothing to hold him back? When everything turns into a zero sum game of dog eat dog, they'll find that The Hunter is an all too willing participant, but he will soon find out that he isn't the only player of this game. First story I'm posting and I don't really have a cool synopsis, sorry everyone, but this story is just another LitRPG apocalypse. I guess the only difference is that the main character isn't a hero. He's not here to save the world, he's not here to make friends, and he's definitely not here to save everyone. He's probably what the villains in other similar stories would be actually. Just writing for fun, advice or constructive critism is welcomed, writing style prone to change. Warning: Incredible amounts of poor grammar, Gore, Profanities, Traumatizing content, and cliches(I plan to have multiple main characters, maybe this is too ambitious for my poor skills, but it seems like it would be fun to try, the other MCs won't show up until later on.) The cover image isn't mine I just found it online. It's a piece by Stephanie Frey This takes inspiration from a lot of great stories on here, but I find the beginning to be most similar to Blood Lust by DefinitelyNotJormlung. Starcraft and Warhammer 40k and survival world rpg by S_Conary will also influenced this (at least that's my plan if I ever get that far or finish this) Also please stay with me until chapter 3. I suck at starting stories, but have been told I get better as I'm further along.
8 128 - In Serial12 Chapters
The Earth Daughter
Jane Everwood, Girl of questionable fortune. Seemingly abandoned by her mother and left to try and survive in the clutches of the evil blob of meat that is her father, Life did not deal her an easy hand. She managed to get by with her friends, but between her constantly drunk parent, and the refined but clearly evil thug-friend that her father keeps around, it has been a constant chore. However, this is all about to change in one grandiose day. Whisked away from her life, her planet, and everything she ever knew, she is thrown into a maelstrom of activity, where everyone seems out for number one, even with the most kind of acts. Jane is at the centre of all this activity, however, nobody cares to explain why, exactly, and so she is left to blunder. It becomes obvious that she is meant to do something important, maybe along the lines of 'fight the monster get the girl save the day' but nobody tells her exactly what monster, or which day. And as for getting the girl, well that is an entirely different kettle of fish...
8 148 - In Serial19 Chapters
Evangeline
A power waits. A prophecy to be fulfilled. Her destiny will unite the Six Realms. Evangeline is about to turn 20 years old. Aware she was born a vessel but unaware her fate is beyond her escape. She has been protected and isolated since birth by demons, witches and those she believes are her friends. Evangeline wants nothing more than to keep her freedom; live a normal life... and dare she think it... a boyfriend? Azrael, Prince of Erubus and a Nether Demon will happily welcome the end of the world. Hiding from a tortured past, he is unable to forget or forgive himself for. He is tasked with finding the 'vessel' and under decree ensure their destiny is fulfilled for the forces 'Others.' By chance their paths cross and unknowingly Evangeline splinters his cold hard exterior that has remained intact for a millennia.
8 64

