As I followed my scan, it revealed that Reeanth was moving in a direction roughly towards me and the building that I was under, her steps coming fast and hard which probably meant that she was running. My earth sorcery was more than happy to let me know every time her foot hit the ground, providing a nice triangulation between my general magic senses and my earth sorcery. What was troubling was that my earth sorcery was telling me that someone was running next to her but that wasn’t showing up to my usual senses.

[Probably Johnny,] Kraken commented. [ It works both ways between magic users and cultivators. Your inability to manipulate the other’s energy means neither of you can sense the other in the usual extrasensory ways.]

Scanning protocol dictates a tracking protocol to bypass inherent biological weakness. Recommended course of action . . . reviewing host’s memories . . . comparing alternative signatures . . resolution found. Track via enhanced armor and weaponry bestowed by the host.

Great. Even my suit has a bit of snark. Joy. Focusing a bit harder, I could tell that the man generally invisible to my senses was in fact Johnny, I’d recognize the handiwork of the armor with its enchantments anywhere, definitely mine. [Time’s up dude!] I yelled, yanking Kraken back to Gungnir as my unease grew. Why were they running towards me, wait, they don’t even know I’m here. Why are they running towards the political powder keg above me?

Two options fought for supremacy in my head. The easiest would be to wait and see what happens but my well grounded sense of paranoia was screaming to pop up and get ahead of whatever problem was coming down the pip. Gritting my teeth, I went with my gut and popped out of the earth in front of Reeanth and Johnny as they came within a hundred yards of the building.

“Whoa! Whoa! It’s me!”

It was the first time in months that I’d laid eyes on my former companions. Johnny was barely able to stop himself from smashing my face in with his mystical silver staff, its snake head extended out with massive fangs dripping greenish black venom. He looked leaner, no new scars to speak on him but his armor was pretty banged up and his pet Big Bear clearly wasn’t around. My self-proclaimed vassal’s mana-maul was impressively pulled back mid-swing as she recognized who I was. Plenty of Centauri weapons adorned her armor in strategic places, several pistols and wickedly serrated knives as well as what I’m guessing were some nasty grenades.

“My man!” Johnny’s hug tackle nearly knocked me over thanks to the muscle he put on since the last time we were together. Genuinely happy to see me, he pushed me back to arm’s length, his voice slightly breaking as he spoke, “Thank god you’re back! It’s been so goddamn boring! You wouldn’t believe the amount of shitty politics going on right now!”

“My lord!”

“And there’s elves and shit too! All kinds of crazy magical creatures and none of them are a good lay!”

“My lord!”

“And I can out arm wrestle a damn Centauri in a mini-mech suit but they won’t let me blow anything up?!”

“MY LORD!” To be fair, I didn’t have a choice to disengage from Johnny. In his excitement, his grip was like one of those trash compactors they used to use on cars. I couldn’t freaking move, and with the way that the cultivator was shaking me while telling me about all the cool new things, my brain pan was rattling way too hard to answer Reeanth.

With a well planned swift kick to the back of the knee, Johnny couldn’t ignore physics and keeled over backwards as his left leg went out. Reeanth caught him as he let go of me and set up nicely while glaring at him. “My apologies SQUIRE!” Reeanth’s voice harsh as a Russian winter as his eyes popped out with fear for a split second before returning to his usual happy state. Facing me again, Johnny lightly laughed, “Oh yeah! She’s my teacher now too!”

Taking a deep breath, obviously a calming act that she’d done many times now, Reeanth moved Johnny behind her and then faced me with a look on her face. I knew that look, that’s the ‘we need to talk anywhere but here’ look. Looking quickly off to the side several times, I got the message even as I kept up the small talk. “Really? Your teacher?” I said, moving off to the indicated alley as Reeanth dragged her student.

“Oh hell yeah man! Staff fighting, shooting classes, workout routines and all kinds of cool shit!”

“And where’s your bear?”

“Out hunti - ACK!” I turned to see Reeanth literally forcing his mouth closed so that he would shut up. “Now is NOT the time!” she growled. “Silence until I tell you otherwise!”

Whirling towards me, Reeanth spoke in angrily quiet tones. “Why are you here my lord?! Why have you returned now? You know it’s not safe for you here!”

Looking around to make sure that we didn’t have anyone within earshot, I double checked with my senses as well before speaking. “You know my idiot brother right? The one that hates me?” Reeanth looked at me with the ‘duh’ face as Johnny vigorously nodded. “It’s hard to explain the exact details, but that Centauri nanotech did a number on his mind. Whatever configuration they gave you was solid but his is the ‘invasive, mind-altering’ kind. To my magic, it looked like it had claws shoved in his brain stem.”

Reeanth’s face went white.

“What?” I said as a feeling of dangerously cold wrath began to trickle down my spine.

“Mindreapers,” she whispered. Her eyes were wide with fear as her hands began to shake. “It was a Centauri project headed by a Witch traitor designed to mechanically imitate generational memories so our new soldiers could fight the Hive like veteran Battle Wizards.”

“But?”

She gulped. “But, instead of copying the memories, it stole them. Any memory or neural path that had to do with feeling soft emotions was deadened and the primal side of the brain was overstimulated to grow so that they would be fearless in combat.”

“Make them stupid and unthinking in combat,” I said, realizing where she was going with this.

“Yes, but that was outlawed a long long time ago and is used as a horror story for new cadets about the fallacies of having Witch allies.” Letting go of Johnny’s face so that he could breathe, Reeanth hugged her shoulders, shuddering at the thought. “Some of the experiments are still alive in stasis and brought out at trials as proof of their evil end results when anyone experiments with forbidden magics.”

My teeth began grinding together as Reeanth thought furiously. “If what you’ve said is correct, then the one that committed this atrocity to the legion here in this city is dead, the witch you killed,” Reeanth said. “I’ve done some digging and she was the one to contract the new ‘native’ legion from the Centauri and then had them establish a beachhead here for her new lab with them being the planned security. She didn’t want to possibly waste her precious Amazons on a new unexplored world.”

[I don’t like where this is going, boss.] Kraken quickly interjected. [If she put this together right, then the hag that’s here isn’t responsible and you might feel that she is but attacking her would be monumentally stupid. And, that failed programming in your brother’s head also probably drives him to seek out someone in the witch community. Witches hate subordinates that don’t need them and since these people clearly have no leader . . .]

[Then they’re gettin’ one from a new witch,] I finished. [Look, I halfway listened to that conversation. They didn’t seem too happy with that witch though.]

[True, but who knows how long it takes for the programming to fully take effect? Could be years? A whole bunch of unknown factors could be altering how resistant or vulnerable these people are to it, and it may even be a new version of that experiment. We just don’t know.]

“I say we get em!” Johnny loudly whispered, all gung-ho at the idea of some action. “Come on, we can totally fuckin’ do it! Just say the word, pretty please!”

“I advise caution, my lord.” Reeanth cut in. “At least wait until the meeting is over unless you are intentionally trying to make a statement as well as cause a massive political mess. Besides, the mindreaper device has been implanted in the legion for some time now. Another few hours of it being there won’t cause as much harm as us acting rashly.”

Pulling both of them deeper into the shadows of the alley, I weighed my options. Shock and awe is definitely the one I usually go with, especially since I could use the root of Yggdrasil in the center of the city to retrieve Spot from Sunstone Castle and have him here in ten minutes. With Spot and Big Bear on my team as well as an overbuffed Centauri warrior and a kitted out cultivator, it’s not enough to take on a city but more than enough to take on that building of people. It’s all about choosing the right target.

The alternative to my usual harebrained schemes is well-planned sneaky action, which is many times harder due to the amount of patience required. I could wait until the meeting was over and then capture my brother, forcing him to undergo experimental healing with the minor light-centric Chaos crystal. With him on our side, we would have a springboard to possibly free the others if the crystal was still viable and then a whole city where we wouldn’t be considered public enemy number one.

But still, just the thought of something basically eating my brother’s brain, however slowly, was killing me. The desire to wipe the city off the fucking map raged against the constraints of my will. My own sick imagination spewed idea after idea about how to go about doing so, maybe piss off some gigantic monster from the deep and guide it towards Miami, make my own volcano underneath the city, or even see if I could use the World Tree altered portal to vomit otherworldly monstrosities directly in the heart of the city.

[Quick reminder as to why we don’t really want to flatten this part of Florida, allies and intelligence. We need both, we need the delicate tools to juxtapose you being a hammer, hence the non-scorched earth approach.]

[It was just a thought!] I retorted, reeling in my highly graphic visions of mass destruction. [Sheesh.]

[Uh huh, and I’m just a squid.]

Reeanth’s poke brought me back from mentally working through my options, something I’m proud to say that I actually do nowadays instead of just bulldozing through. Realizing that I had more time to prepare than I first thought since I had given my brother the protection necklace which would stop anything short of a dragon at least once, I followed Reeanth and Johnny back to where they’d been staying.

“Don’t tell me that you got an entire pyramid building all to yourselves?” The inside was much bigger than it appeared on the outside, complete with futuristic versions of any rich man’s playhouse.

“Over here is a state of the art gravity gym so I can work out!” Johnny geeked. “And the kitchen which will make anything you want as long as you bring the ingredients! Watch!” Slapping the shock white countertop, a small transparent stasis cube rose up with a fat sleeping rabbit inside. “Deep fried bunny! And don’t forget to remove the skin, bones, and organs this time!”

The cube slammed back down into the counter and ten seconds later, right next to where the first one sank into the counter another box rose up. Touching the top with his hand, Johnny opened the box and the beautiful smell of fried rabbit on a bed of noodles wafted out.

“Where’d you get the flour and eggs and all the other stuff to make it?” I asked, unsteadily walking forward as this was the first real meal other than Centauri food cubes that I’d seen in months. My stomach was raging, shaking at its cage inside of me, demanding that I devour what was in front of me. My watery eyes looked at Johnny as he grinned without answering my question.

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ve already eaten today.” As I attacked the meal like a ravenous wolf, Johnny laughed. “They got a market here and plenty of people to run it as well. Some of the Centauri legions were on board with letting the ‘natives’ come back when things settled down, something about refreshing the gene pool and gettin’ new blood. Anyways, with magic, everybody’s been makin’ all kinds of shit. Saw some dude race away from the city on a Harley Davidson hovercycle and another on hovering skateboots. It’s like a new age magic paradise, if you can ignore the monsters.”

I barely heard what he said. The skin of the rabbit was beautifully crisped and the meat was so damn tender. The noodles were cooked in a lovely meat sauce that was just perfectly thick, hitting all the neglected flavor needs of my poor tongue. My moans, I’m sad to say, were a bit too close to actual sex noises that Johnny gave me some space after laughing at me. Forcing myself to take some time to enjoy the meal, I sat in a chair popped out of the ground and molded itself to be perfectly comfortable. After cursing in surprise and almost dropping my food, a crime in and of itself, I rotated in the chair to take in the room. A small garden hung off the wall to my left, the tomatoes, grapes, apples, and berries were relatively easy to identify. A whole bunch of other plants were up there too but I couldn’t identify them leading me to believe that they weren’t native to Earth.

A long table made out of the same mysterious material as the counters sat in the middle of the room, various weapons and cleaned off large bones from animals strewn across it.

Reeanth stood by the entryway of the room, one hand holding her mana-maul while the other traced the runes on its shaft. “My lord,” she said as I finished. “I need to know what your goals are so that I may know how to best assist you.”

Leaning back in the chair as it automatically adjusted to make the feel more comfortable, I almost fell asleep as I thought about my answer, my body melting into the seat. “It all depends on if I can do what I’m hoping to be able to do.”

“Hey!” Johnny yelled. “No wizard double talk! What’s the plan? Puhleeese! I’m dying for some fuckin action! Besides, Fuzzy’s been gettin’ fat and needs a workout.”

Sighing, I pulled the small but very bright Chaos crystal, its white sheen throwing odd shadows around the room. “This is a Chaos crystal, Johnny.” I said, carefully setting my hand on the table but not letting go of the crystal. “This thing right here, if it were bigger or more full, would be able to give someone sorcery, an advanced form of magic, to anyone who isn’t a cultivator. It’s up to the discretion of the one using it how it works but it could possibly impart magics related to light, healing, purity, white hot fire or something like that. But this one, there’s only enough in there for a seed of power that could grow over time.”

Johnny’s eyes almost popped out of his face even as Reeanth unsuccessfully tried to keep her own jealousy at bay. “How does this help us my lord?” She asked, her foot tapping out an irritating rhythm. “Wouldn’t this be best used by one you trust, such as myself? Your sworn hand?”

Her hungry gaze never left the crystal even as I wrapped my fingers completely around it, covering up the hypnotic glow. “It ain’t for you princess,” I said, putting it back in Gungnir where I knew it would be safe. “Trust me, there’s not enough in there for you to get much out of it, but there is a chance I can use it to restore my brother and his band of brainwashed idiots.” Breathing the tension in my shoulders away took a few moments, and coming to grips with the fact that I’d have to kidnap my brother only took a few more. This new world was having an effect on me, making me harder, more decisive. It could be argued that growing up also did the same shit but not everyone lives through an apocalypse.

“So we got some time to kill?” Reeanth huffed at Johnny’s question, giving the affirmation he was so desperately hoping for. Scrambling madly at the countertops and yelling random food items, Johnny had various cubes popping up and down with different ingredients that vanished and reappeared in various forms. In less than two minutes, beautiful dishes of pizza, pot roast, lo mein noodles, and steaks adorned countertops.

“Eat up!”

I take back every bad word, every bad thought I’d ever had about Johnny. In this moment, this heavenly moment of gastrointestinal satisfaction, I loved that man with all of my stomach. Subsisting on Centauri meal cubes, no matter how well they technically met the requirements of sustenance, was no substitute for real food, for FLAVOR. Through it all, Johnny kept trying to tell me about what he and Reeanth had learned, and some of it probably was cool and interesting, but I assure you, it wasn’t as fascinating as the rejuvenation of my soul via real food.

“My lord! Cease this moaning, it’s not seemly!” Ignoring her pleas, I kept going, fully cognizant that my temporary runic tattoos allowed me to eat more than any human, other than a sumo wrestler, should. Today, the sin of gluttony was mine for the taking, even as my flesh sorcery combined with the enhancement runes kept my body from getting instantly fat, added some much needed muscle to my frame, and converted the waste into mana.

“That was uh, kinda gross.” Gingerly handing me a hand towel, I took it from Johnny as I looked over the empty plates. What I couldn’t eat, which wasn’t much compared to what I shoveled down, I had put into Gungnir for later. Conjuring water, I cleaned myself off and lay back in my chair, completely satisfied for the first time in a long time.

“You want some alone time with yourself and another pizza or are you good?” Wagging his eyes and barely keeping his dirty smile off his face, Reeanth let out a disgusted sigh and pulled out a chair in front of me, sitting down and snapping her fingers to get my attention.

“You’re right, you’re right.” I said, consoling my uptight vassal. “I just needed that more than you know. To answer your question, my immediate goal is to carefully extract my brother from the public eye, de-hijack his brain, and if it works, then do the same to his friends. If it doesn’t work, then I’ll stick him in stasis until I can figure out how to do it. Worst comes to worse, I’ll grow him a new body and then do my best to do a mind/soul transfer while leaving the Centauri shit behind. Questions?”

Both of them stared at me, completely unsure about what to say. “What?” I snapped. “It’s not like I have flesh and consciousness sorcery, oh wait, I do! The possibility is there, however small. Now, when this whole shit is finished, I need to get as much intelligence as I can outta this damn city and then rework MY poor twisted Yggdrasil that’s tied to a freaking gate. And I’m going to need both of y’alls help to do it.”

“Sure, sure, yeah, easy peasy Japaneesy, or is it Koreaneesy? We’ll just wait till the buttcrack of dawn when everyone’s asleep and nab him. Everything else falls into place after that, right?”

Reeanth cracked her neck before she answered. “He’s not wrong, my lord, at least not this time. All of our future actions here are determined by the success of your initial plan.”

Pulling Gungnir out and placing it on the table in staff form, I waved my hand and sent a mental message. “Lucky for me, we have someone to do the heavy lifting for us.”

Popping out of my weapon, Kraken floated above the table, bowing gracefully and extending his tentacles out to their fullest. “Pleased to meet you both. My given name is Kraxin’eldra, shortened to Kraken. I don’t appreciate the crass allusion to the terrifying abominations that ravage many ocean planets, nasty smelly things that they are. And yet, the name has stuck.”

“You just pulled a squid outta your-”

“Staff.” Reeanth said, finishing Johnny’s breathless statement.

“He’s a Scion of Order, whatever that means, still not exactly sure. But, he is fantastic at making plans, both short and long term as well as information organization. He’s also a badass at magical combat so don’t piss him off.” Technically, he’s a badass when I give him the power and agency to do so but I’m not gonna split hairs here, mainly because I need both Johnny and Reeanth to understand I can bring more resources to bear than I used to.

“As the simple one said, the best plan is a night raid.”

“Hey!”

“And the bit of sorcery is most likely powerful enough to fully cleanse the defunct mindreaper parasite from my partner’s brother. We just have a bit of waiting to do.”