was another defeat...

Jon stared at the woman's back, as she left him standing there under the street light, as she walked into the night of the city. Leaving him alone, Jon sighed internally as his thoughts began to rumble around in his head out of control.

("Once more I failed at trying to connect with a woman in a deep meaningful way.")

("I seriously want to give up... but I do not want to be alone...")

("Why do women not love high-strung nerves, awkwardness, profuse sweating and gasping for breath after short walks?")

("I only forgot her name once, It was Emma, I really tried this time to not forget but I still managed to say the wrong name during dinner. I did manage to say my own name correctly, ' Jon', this time.. last date I went with a friends name by accident and kept with it the entire date out of panic.")

("I arranged this date to be at a wok restaurant, that I really liked, this time hoping familiarity and friendly territory would give me a plus. ")

He remembered clearly how they both said almost nothing while they waited for the food.

Wait... no "he" almost said nothing, he kept silent, thinking it would be best to keep a low profile.

(brilliant thinking during a date when you are trying to present yourself)

It usually was the best idea though, once Jon would begin talking, things would get weird between him and women the moment. It would be an incoherent mess, jumping from one topic to the next, Getting a lot of "uh huh" and "oh" in return. While Jon became increasingly aware of him not saying anything particularly relevant to the situation.

("But if I got asked questions, I at least had time to think it over, I would then answer as best I could and talk more clearly. it was less nerve-wracking for some reason...")

Today this was not a day that had impressed this woman.

("Of course my looks are not impressive either. Not that she was the looker either, but clearly.. above my reach, I slowly realized, as the evening progressed with the both of us not really feeling anything.")

After they had dined and seen a movie, Jon could barely remember the movie now, he had frozen during the entire thing unsure how to act. Like a small animal in front of the headlight of a truck.

("Hold her hand? In what world do I live in where that's possible?!. Do not be silly Jon! Just Freeze!! Maybe it will work out if I do not move!!")

Now here he was standing in the dark of night underneath a streetlight, his thoughts beginning to pound himself over his failings which would undoubtedly ring through his head on occasion on and off for the rest of his life.

He sighed loudly and turned around, trying to remember where he had parked his car when suddenly his vision was blinded by bright lights.

He quickly froze like a small animal in front of 'literal' headlights this time.

"..truck-kun?" Jon managed to say out loud as a truck slammed into him.

Pain - spinning vision, that was clouded in red - a sense of flight - and then more pain with the sense of crashing into the ground.

("I can not move... My vision is still blurred in red. I can see the woman that left me standing there.")

She has turned around, looking back at the man she left, clearly shocked at his current situation.

Jon could barely make her out, she was backing away slowly, she screamed something, but he could not make out what...

("... Don't leave me... Why. I do not want to be alone..... Will I die alone?... My vision fades as my world turns red.")

...

Cold. it's was cold. Its been so cold for so long now and it was all Jon could feel.

("I feel horrible... I feel weightless but still feel like I´m stuck in place.

Like I´m dipped in tar. Blinded. Unable to sense anything but this freezing sticky cold that envelopes me giving me small jolts of pain every now and again.

I try to open my eyes... I.. I do not think I have eyes.. how can that be?!

No arms? No legs?! .... am I in a hospital.. unable to feel anything or sense anything?!...")

Jon struggled in his mind, nothing but the sense of the dreadful chill around him and his own thoughts.

...

("I do not know how long I have been here in this place... am I dead?.. normally you would see your life flash past you when you died right??

Of course, that would just make me depressed... just remind me more of how alone I am... even death is lonely.....

I.. I.. I do not want to be alone... Please... I DO NOT WANT TO BE ALONE!

Wait.. what is that... Light?... It's Blinding!!..

Truck-Kun ?! is it you, you bastard?! Come to kill me one more time?!... Wait.. it is not cold anymore..")

Suddenly Jon was no longer surrounded in cold, his thoughts were now wrapped in something pleasant and warm, it 'felt' bright and glowing but he could not 'see' it. Only feel it wrap around him pushing away the cold, dark and sticky substance he had been in.

("This feels...so good no more pain. How can light be physical... I can feel the light wrap around me... I can still see the sticky coldness I was in. but it is not near me. Pushed away by the light

I finally relax, is this the feeling I always wanted, wrapped in this gentle light.

This is nice... I am still alone though... But... This... This is nice..")

Suddenly everything begins to move around Jon, spinning madly as if suddenly picking a direction, then speeding towards a point of light, other points of light hurling past him, blasting through the dark matter he had been trapped in for an unknown amount of time.

as the sense of falling/flying intensifies and suddenly Jon felt like he had been dumped into warm water, all his normal senses once more forcing themselves back onto him.

Pressure. Tightness. A sense of feeling heavy once more as gravity meant something.

A heavy drumming sound was constantly hammering all around him, he could feel his body and move it again. But it was difficult, he was floating inside a viscous mass. He tried to cover up his ears from the hammer sound as he realized.

("Wait I have a head!, Arms! feet! I can feel them!! And lungs!")

"...."

Lurk tried to say something, only to realized that he could not speak, or breathe!!! He was still submerged!

("I cannot talk,, wait... I CAN´T BREATH!!!. Wait... What is this! a Hose?!. I'm stuck in liquid!... Wait.. Calm down.. Is this hose.. Its going into my stomach... am...I inside. a .. womb?..")

("AM I REINCARNATING!.... Reincarnation Truck-kun is true!! Its a real thing?!")