Grrrrrrr.

Whatever you did to us. It was terrible.

She loomed over me, but the large wolf no longer seemed to be looking at me. With her body wound tighter than a spring, teeth clenched tightly into a louder growl, she doesn’t notice me ever so slightly scooting backwards on my bum.

But why did it have to be the weaker ones?!

?????

The more I scoot back, I would see a strange purple-green wavering around Boudicea’s silver-furred ears. Leaning my head to the side to look down the length of her body, I could see.

I could still see it. Small wisps hovering like flames on her fur?

The same strange purplish-green flame was wavering on her tail too.

Terrible, terrible pain. As if there were small creatures trying to bite their way out of my eyes. My ears.

Boudicea stands up once again on all fours and shivers. Her whole body shook harder, back and forth like a dog would shed water off its fur.

Gulping, I stop scooting backwards on my bum, waiting for her next move. If she tried to eat me I would either peck at her eyes or the clay wound on her foreleg.

Can you imagine it? Your vision turning red with blood. Your Pack weakening, collapsing.

Gone.

It took all I had not to keep glancing between the two possible weak points. Instead, I forced my eyes to focus on the glimmering purple flames above her head, over her ears.

The others you killed. They died like that. In pain from a wound they never remembered receiving.

Straightening her back, she begins to step towards me again. Unable to stay still, I step backwards away from her.

I hoped she wouldn’t hurt me. The wolves kept to their word. And they especially followed the Alpha. Boudicea was the only one who’d tried to attack me after Crixus won, while the other wolves waited for their Alpha’s orders.

A fighter, she was. More and more, I was sure that the name Boudicea was perfect for her.

But enough of that.

I did not like where this was going. This wolf had gotten a blood transfusion from the Fire Wolf King. There would be no surprise if that new skill was manifesting itself now. I was 90% sure it was the Poison Flame skill from her status window.

My wing opens in a placating gesture, my poor attempt at trying to calm her down.

Boudicea…

Thud.

Rough bark scratches into my back. I’d run out of space.

How many? My Pack, my family did you destroy?

Sneering, she looks down at me, with hate in her eyes.

Was it fun to become the Alpha? Make us thankful for the healing you did??!

Seeing her silver hair stand on end made her body appear much larger. Larger than it ever looked before. Much larger than when she had lain asleep, getting blood transfused from her mate. Boudicea had looked a lot more harmless then.

We were snout to beak now, her eyes boring into mine.

What did you do to them. To me.

Each word she speaks directly to my mind is laden with burning anger. The emotions pierce hotly with her every word, like a hot poker sinking straight into my brain.

Tail sticking straight up while she circles around me, once, twice, she sniffs the blood on my body.

It was poison.

Poison?

Furrowing her brows, she asks. It was clear she didn’t understand what poison was. Or perhaps it was the concept of poison, of using bad food to kill creatures on purpose.

I gave you food that would make you sick.

But you never left us any food?

No. It was something the Pack ate often. I poisoned that.

Tilting her much larger head, I breathe out a sigh of relief when she moves her head away from me. But it didn’t take her long to come swinging her head back at me, a heavy sadness dribbling like dark rain off her thoughts.

...The fleet-foots? They made us sick?

It was a struggle to get back up from the dirt ground. Especially with the wolf right before me, growling at me with her hackles raised. Hate charged the atmosphere, shoved its way into my lungs, and stole my breath away.

You poisoned one of the few prey we could eat in this strange place?!!!

Beginning a frenzied pacing, Boudica grinds her teeth, snapping at the air in front of me each time she passes me.

But she didn’t touch me.

…..

I’m sorry.

I could only turn my head away from her. Unable to look at her.

Boudicea took my silence as a confirmation. Scratching at the wound on her forelimb in frustration, the flames on her ears turn a paler lavender hue, growling quietly in agony at the realization of what I’d done.

I can’t tell you the details of how I did it. Only that it was me. I did it.

But..

You gave me no choice.

And the words I repeated to myself in my head, over and over as I treated the wolves in the cave, come bursting out of my chest.

Stabbing one wing towards her, I cry out in frustration.

YOU GAVE ME NO CHOICE!

Why was I the only one that had to get all the anger directed at? It was her and the Wolf King, the Pack that gave me no choice. Anger makes me tremble from head to toe, feathers vibrating with the force of my emotion.

And look at yourself!!!

One feather falls out of my wing from my vicious swinging in the air.

I’d done my best to make it up to you. Worked my butt off healing you and the rest of the sick Pack!

ALL THIS-

I gesture out to the cave entrance. To the wall of green that was the Siphon Bush wall.

-WAS THE ONLY SOLUTION I KNEW!!

Flapping my wing in her face, I scream back at her, my beak snapping the air in front of her snout.

YOU hunted us. Hunted ME, okay!?!

I didn’t enjoy doing it, but I had to!!

And you know what??

I WOULD DO IT AGAIN.

BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY WAY I KNEW TO PROTECT MY FAMILY.

MY PACK.

Yelling back at her felt kind of good.

The sick feeling churning in my belly recedes. There was only fatigue left, washing over me in waves.

Whump!

Clods of dirt and blood and who knows what else slough off of my body when I slump into a sitting posture.

I was tired.

Tired of feeling sick of myself. Tired of feeling guilty. Simply put, I was over it.

If Boudicea wanted to yell back at me now was her chance. My eyes go over every detail in the wet mud and dry dirt mixed together, counting the torn-up blades of grass as I waited for her response.

But there was only silence.

?

After counting the 87th blade of grass, my impatience gets the better of me and I look up to the silver female wolf.

Boudicea stood there, gaze fixed in place. On me.

Her eyes were widened, the heavy atmosphere emanating off her body lessening just a bit. Why was she surprised?

When I look at her, she shakes her head quickly, then lowers her body to my level once again.

Can you take me to them? Boudicea asks me quietly.

My wings scrabble into the dirt, brushing against loose stones and rocks.

Ouch!

The familiar pain cuts into me again when I accidentally use my injured wing to push myself back up on my talons..

Both of us looked at each other, breathing heavily. Gusts of hot wind blew out of her snout, ruffling my feathers, and I could feel my thin birdcage working to contain my small heart from bursting out of its chest.

Take me to them.

They won’t look very nice, Greenie and I gathered them together-

Take me to them. Please.

I could tell it took a lot for her to say please. With her face twisted into a tight grimace, I could almost see her being in physical pain as the words grated its way out of her.

Boudicea repeats again.

Gesturing back to the cave with my wing:

I’ll have to go and get Greenie so that he can carry-

That won’t be needed. We’ll go together.

With a firm tone, she rejects my suggestion.

Was this a good idea? When she looked at me, so full of bitterness and desperation..

I- I couldn’t say no.

Here. I’ll guide you then. If you follow me this way.

I hop my way out of the brush and into the forest, activating [Hide] while including her in the skill. It was too easy for her to keep up with my slow pace, but she stays behind me, pacing slowly behind me in a manner similar to the heaviness carried by the pall-bearers at a funeral.

I wasn’t comfortable with asking her to carry me on her shoulder like Greenie usually did. Everything was all wrong. I was leading her to see her dead family members now. How could I ask her to carry me there?

Darting through another bush, I look ahead on my next target to hide behind, as per my usual method of travel. That consisted of dashing between hiding spots till I arrived at my destination.

The mental weariness makes me feel so very brittle. Almost like I’d shattered in that moment of lashing out, and now I had to put myself together. Back to calm, logical Raven.

This is taking too long. Get on this.

A thick wood branch appears before me. When I follow the branch back up to Boudicea, who held it in her mouth, she doesn’t meet my eyes. Only rattles the branch in front of me, impatiently trying to prompt me to get on.

Alright..

I reluctantly make my way onto the stick.

The moment she confirms my talons locked around the branch, Boudicea takes off, checking the direction with me guiding her. Other than that, all I could hear was the sound of her rough pants as she ran, head lowered and legs working to propel her forward.

Gusts of wind whistled past the sides of my body while Boudicea ran swift and sure footed through the dark forest. The trip that would have taken hours riding on Greenie’s shoulder was cut down to what felt like a blink of an eye.

We finally arrived at the entrance to the Ice Cavern after a long, silent ride. It was the same as usual, a crack in the side of a cliff.

In here.

Inside this hole?

Yes.

Before she can enter, I spread my wings in front of the entrance and block her.

You have to understand. Some of them aren’t going to look pretty. Greenie and I, we thought..

Tightly closing my eyes shut with my wings still spread, I finish the thought.

Well, we were going to eat them.

Boudicea prods at my wing with her forelimb.

Do not block the way.

But-!

Let me see them!

Without any hesitation, she nudges past me and crawls inside the dark, small hole, pressing her body close to the ground and wiggling as hard as she could to get her enlarged body inside.

She circles around the wolves that Greenie and I had laid out in a pile.

Some of the wolves laid in pieces, left on the ground after we’d tried processing some of them for their fur.

AWROOOOO!!

Boudicea sang a sad song of grief, her head thrown back while her throat reverberated with a mourning howl. Pacing within the cave, she licks the cheek of her fallen brethren, crying for the pain they must have experienced.

Nervously, I glanced at the sharp icicles hanging from the ceiling, but they didn’t budge. Though they shivered the tiniest bit from her sadness, the ice stayed firm.

Her whimpers echo and bounce off the ice walls, the tone of her cries echoing higher away into icicles on the cave ceiling. The eerie sounds rang like a church bell, playing off each other into the stillness of the frozen cave.

Rest well, sister.

The soft whisper escapes out of her. Ears lowered and whimpering, she paws at one of the other dead wolves, one that had died in good shape. The only evidence of injury was the blood that soaked the fur around its snout.

I can only watch as she continues to touch noses with each of the dead wolves. Each time, she closing her eyes and stays silent.

There was that saying, “All’s fair in love and in war.”

But after seeing Boudicea now, I think that was wrong.

There was nothing fair about this. We both lost.