《The Girl in the Abyss》Update

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Update

Since reaching trending my story has received a lot of feedback. I’ve been struggling with writing now that such glaring issues have been pointed out, so I have decided I will do a lot of changes.

I’m hoping to take this time to ask those who have read my story to point out things that should be addressed. My current to-do list can be found below.

Pacing: This is the most common criticism and to be honest I am having a hard time with it. Suggestions on this matter would be greatly appreciated. Friendly to quick: I am going to rewrite that those bound to her cant lie about bad things. It was kind of in place already Ellie just wasn’t fully aware. I am thinking of making it a skill, so it's clearly stated. Examples would be Kenneth could say he is fine when he is not fine, and that would not trigger the lie detection since it's about him. If he were to say “I’m not going to shoot you.” As he was about to pull the trigger, then it would trigger the lie detection. LitRPG stuff is getting in the way: Ellie gains a lot of skills most of which will not show their relevance until later. I will move stuff that’s not required at that moment to a status log at the bottom of each chapter. Torture time Part 2: I’m going to rewrite the intro to this part so that the events take place outside the cooking guild. The catalyst will be the gruesome and mangled body of Harrison in their shared room. I will also make Morfran’s desires for death powers clearer which is why he did all of this. Ellie’s trust in Safe Haven: She clings to people who are kind to her. I don’t think I will be changing this part, but suggestions are welcome. Foreshadowing more. Clearer motivation eailer on.

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In the meantime, I am going to do a simple story with 2k word chapters to try and improve before returning to ‘The Girl in the Abyss.’ This story is very precious to me, and I want the changes to make it the best it can be.

Thank you for reading my story,

Lumia / Amber

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