《Blue March》#5: Alive
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Knowing she wouldn't be back until hours later, I returned to my apartment and grabbed the copy of her apartment keys, which she had never taken from me because she trusted me.
I arrived at her apartment and stepped inside. All the memories of us together flashed through my mind and, before I realized it, I was bathing in her bathroom. One last time, for old times' sake.
What I didn't take into account was that it had been two months since we talked, so it was logical that there were changes.
The clink of keys sounding outside the apartment, as well as Jenny's cheerful voice, made me realize how much I had missed her. It was too late to run out, so I stayed in the bathroom and waited for… something. Even I didn't know what I was waiting for, but I was eager.
It was only a few seconds, but they were the longest seconds of my life. The apartment exploded and burst into flames.
Suddenly, I was drowning. As hard as I tried to swim up, something held me down. Why was I trying to live? My panicking body contradicted my fulfilled soul. There was nothing else to do. Something or someone controlled me.
The same muddy arms, that had pulled me down before, were pulling me down again, this time they had complete bodies. They emerged above me and pushed me down. Only my blue flames could defend me, but they did nothing. They kept growing until my entire body was wrapped in them, suffocating me.
All the memories of Jenny and me together flashed through my mind. Again. Before I realized it, I was back bathing in her bathroom. One more time, for new times' sake.
The clink of keys sounding outside the apartment, as well as Jenny's cheerful voice, made me realize how much I would suffer if I lost her. I jumped out of the bath and ran to the door, holding it close.
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"Who's there?!" Jenny yelled.
I couldn't answer. What would she think of me?
"Hank, break the door down!"
A second later, he pushed with such force that I almost fell to the floor. I had lost all of my strength because of the previous month and I was just recovering it.
"Whoever is inside, step aside and we won't be hard on you!" Jenny said.
"I'm sorry, Jenny. Just… come back in a few hours," I replied.
"Mark? What are you doing in my apartment? And why are you holding the door shut?"
I stayed silent.
"Mark…"
"Come back later, please…"
Taking a moment to reply, Jenny complied.
"Fine, we'll be back in an hour."
I let out a deep, long breath and stepped back from the door.
To my surprise, Hank still pushed the door open. Behind him, Jenny held a cigarette in her hand.
The apartment exploded. Again.
Back into the ocean, I was still unable to breathe. The blue flames had arisen far beyond my body. Not only was I drowning, but the fire began to burn me alive. Pain, fulfillment, and fear. They all crushed my soul.
All the memories of us together flashed through my mind. Again and again. Before I realized it, I was back bathing in her bathroom. One more time, for our future.
But it didn't matter. The ending was always the same. I kept drowning and burning, dying again and again. Until I gave up. There was no other way.
All the memories of us together flashed through my mind and, before I realized it, I was back bathing in her bathroom. One last time, for Jenny's future.
As much as I wanted to, I didn't wait for her voice. Instead, I ran into the kitchen and stood in front of the stove.
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Legends were right. No past could change without consequence.
I turned the stove on.
I could breathe again.
It was done.
The tree combusted into blue flames in front of me, but no ashes were left. It merely vanished from reality, leaving a fertile land behind. For birds to plant their seeds and become a new home with more and bigger trees.
I stood up from the ocean and turned around.
I never looked back.
Why would I?
A whole ocean awaited for me to march through it forever.
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