[Mapache Mansion]

[March 3, 2022]

The world was warm and soft.

I snuggled into the blanket. The sheets where smooth as my legs slid across them. My mind adrift with the weightless shadows of light sleep.

Sleep is comforting. Sleep is amazing. Sleep is all that I desire.

It was the giggling that tickled at to my senses.

These strange new sounds wear a danger to my kingdom. They were the forces of light that would take me, kicking and screaming, from my kingdom of darkness.

[Fwoosh]

In a moment the warmth vanish. There was a rush of air as I lost my blanket. Coldness took its place at my cocoon of heat fled from me.

I groaned as the world came crashing down on me. The cruel heartless world gripped at my mind. I got defeated.

The giggling intensified. My girls had surrounded my bed.

Left with no choice I open my eyes. To my immediate left was Candice. Her hands clamped around my blanket. Held hostage by a evil dictator.

To my right was Kori. She smiled as her eyes rove across my body. Her eyes lingered on me and her smile grew. She looked sweet and innocent, but I knew better. She seemed to have gotten corrupted by Candice since long ago.

Behind her was Kara. The girl who currently had her ever present mask on. A simple method to hide one's identity as there was no support from any super hero party.

She was acting as my official bodyguard, and she took her job with a grim determination. I was sure that as the newest member of the super hero community, she desired to prove herself.

Kara, dear sweet Kara, stared at me. Her eyes were wide as a slow blush crept across her cheeks.

“I know it's a small caliber gun, but I guarantee you fires even less rounds,” Candice joked. The three of them stood staring at the only thing alert about me this morning.

Kori giggled. Her hands covering her mouth at the joke. Kara only blushed harder.

“It has at least two rounds in it, you know,” I growled out as I stared at my oldest friend. “You would know, and you should take responsibility for this.”

“While I would usually love to help you maintain your sidearm. As derringers are always cute. We have more important things today,” Candice smiled with far too much cheer.

I pouted. I needed reinforcements. I needed artillery. I needed coffee.

So I went for mutual assured destruction.

I turned towards the two alien girls, and scratched my ass.

Candice rolled her eyes.

I tensed, and pushed.

[Poooot!]

The three girls eyes widened, and I sighed as I felt myself deflate. Deflate and gas attacked the annoying woman.

Alas, fate was not kind to me that day.

Candice had the blanket, and she flapped it to fan my chemical weapon back against me. The two super girls were gone in a flash. Their lingering laughs drowned out by Candice’s victory cry.

Gah!

—

Breakfast was wonderful.

Clara eyed me as I shoveled food into my mouth. Her eyes rove over the assembled people eating breakfast. Noting our intake, and what we ate or didn’t eat.

My eyes scanned over the screen. The first generation tablet in my hand seemed to be working well. Hand crafted by Sue’s team, it currently displayed the updated plans. Things designed for emergency measures.

Last night, Clara had informed me about two things.

Mapache meant Raccoon. I was in Raccoon City.

Paraguay was actually Paraguas. Paraguas meant Umbrella. Umbrella Laboratories.

Those two bits of information was enough for me to make a brick. The fact that I was able to poop last night was a testament to my ability to handle stress.

In my life, the odd knowledge I had did not help much. It was like recalling fun TV shows, or books read. Flashes in information as I thought on the subject.

Sure I knew secret identities of various people. Yet it did not help me. If anything, that information would get me killed.

Knowing that Spider-Man was Peter Parker did not help in a war-zone in Angola. Knowing Batman was Bruce Wayne did not help while scouting convoys in Senegal.

Heroes were usually a tight network, and if you tried to mess with one, you messed with whole communities.

It was even worse with villains.

My knowledge was also fractured. Most of it revolved around heroic teams being in different dimensions. Yet it was obvious that the Avengers, Justice League and their peers were all here on earth.

Whatever gave me knowledge was being a dick about it.

History could have been re-written a thousand times already. Thanos could have erased us a dozen times. Who knows how many infinite crises have already passed.

Yet here. Now. Raccoon City with Umbrella?

My memories said this would happen in the US, and that it was the first of many tragic incidents.

Thus, I called on my generals, and gave them their tasks.

In case of foul play, where crazed invaders attacked the town, what could we do to save the people? Save the people and fortify our mansion.

A very different mansion. Different layout, and no secret areas. No monsters or traps. Different from what I knew, but helpful in this situation.

We could fortify the Mansion grounds in an hour, while providing military support to the city. After all, we had power armor.

If there was a T-Virus outbreak, we could handle it. Even the low level monsters were nothing but annoyances.

I stared at my girls chatting.

Candice was an experienced commander and general now.

Kori and Kara were superhuman powerhouses.

I smiled.

No matter what happened, we could deal with it.

I frowned as a thought hit me. I could deal with potential zombie assaults.

I could not deal with Candice labeling it a derringer.

————

Chapter 29: Derringer