I slowly became aware of my surroundings, which seemed to be my memory palace as seen through a funhouse mirror. There wasn't a straight line or a right angle to be seen, and every time I turned my head I felt a spike of disorientation.

"Fuck. Shit. Of course Hugh wouldn't just attack us. Motherfucking mushrooms. I don't even like mushrooms! Ugh. Okay, okay, it must be wearing off. He's probably going to dose me again though, or do something else to me. Have to... what?"

Trying to wake up seemed dangerous, because if I failed but left the memory palace I might never get back in. I tentatively reached for divination, and thought I could feel it working - I opened the nearest door and could see me, bound, on a bunk in the wagon. I could tell it was moving from the way everything rocked as it hit bumps, but I didn't see the point in trying to look through the walls since it would use more mana and I couldn't imagine I'd learn much. The important thing was that Katrin and Errod weren't within reach of me, which meant I wasn't going to be able to touch them and let them into the memory palace even if they were awake enough to accept the invite.

There was one person I could reach out to without touching them, of course, because we were already connected. It was a bad idea, probably, but that was kind of my specialty and I was running low on options. Just in case I tried to make my body move, but as I'd suspected that didn't work. Anything I was going to do would have to be done in my mind. I opened myself up, and felt for that thread - I was acting on instinct but I found it almost immediately now that I understood what it was. There was something, some faint echo coming down the line...

"You called me?"

She was there, just like the first time I'd seen her - covered in scars, hair a mess, wearing an ill-fitting My Little Pony shirt. Had that been what she was wearing when the Sahrger took her? I only remembered being lost in the woods and mom finding me, nothing before that.

"What is wrong with this place? Have you been drinking?"

"No. I was drugged. Mushrooms, drowned man's toes."

She gave a single nod, then turned to examine the slowly undulating walls. "That can kill, if you use too much. A shame you didn't eat more."

"Yeah, I know, you want to kill me. I get it. I... listen. Calliope. I..."

"You call me by my name, now?"

I felt a shiver go down my spine. I'd known, of course, but it was different to hear it from her. "I didn't have any clue before. I swear."

She was fidgeting, poking at random objects as she paced around the room. "Yes. You are very stupid. I have seen your memories, or enough of them. They sent you too far, and you forgot."

"I guess. I know I went through a thing when I was younger where I kept saying the fairies were going to come and take me away, so maybe some part of me knew? Or maybe it was just because mom kept trying to leave me places. Do you know that? She'd just drive out to the woods and make me get out and tell me it was a game, and then she would drive off. I guess she hoped they'd swap us back or something if she just kept doing it.

"At first it was the woods, anyway - presumably that's where it happened, so that makes sense. But later it would be just... everywhere. She'd tell me to try something on in the dressing room at Wal-Mart and take off, or one time she dropped me off at a school bus stop fifty miles from home and told me to just... go to school. I did it, too. I got on the bus with the other kids, and the one teacher whose room I tried to sneak into called me out on it but I just said I was in the wrong place and wandered away. Did PE with some kids, went to an assembly. I'd memorized the bus number, and at the end of the day I went back and waited at that bus stop until it got dark. She came back at about midnight. She did that sometimes, she'd come back - I thought for me, but now I know she was hoping it would be you.

"But she never told me. I don't know why. Maybe she knew how crazy it sounded and couldn't say it out loud, or maybe she thought the Sahrger would do something to you if she didn't keep up some plausible deniability, like if the game was over they'd... I don't know. Maybe she just refused to believe I didn't know. I don't even know how she figured it out in the first place."

She spoke up, finally, face devoid of emotion. "The cat, and the car. She knew then."

"I still don't remember what you're talking about. I know a car almost hit me when I was chasing a cat across the street but... whatever. I'll put it on the list to check out. It doesn't matter."

She walked closer to me, and the air around her rippled. Those mushrooms were still doing a number on me. I staggered back a step and grabbed at the dresser next to me for support but it felt oddly soft.

"So you understand now," she said, "why you must die?"

"No, listen. I mean, yeah, I get why, but there's probably another way. I'm - I know this sounds crazy, but I'm on your side here. I can see lines of fate, and I can see the one the spell is attached to. I assume that's what you need to break, right? I don't know what all it does, but -"

"It steals from me, and in return it lets them see what you are doing and talk to you. But I took control. I reversed it, stole knowledge from you. Just as you reversed the sight and spied on me."

"Well, I think at some point it also started sending something else. Or maybe it's normal, but I don't think so. I've felt... more... than I think Sahrger are supposed to. It comes and goes, but I feel guilty or sad or... I don't know. I think that's from you. And so maybe I would have just been a monster but you broke something, okay? You broke something, and Bill helped me somehow, and maybe I'll never be a great person but I'm not a monster now. I'm not. And I can see these fate lines, nobody else can but I can see them, and I think I can learn to break them. So that's what I'm going to work on, okay? I'm going to find a way we can both live, and then - I don't know if you want to go home, but I'll help you do that too if you want. But I need you to not kill me, not yet."

She raised an eyebrow. "So. You brought me here to plead for your life?"

"I guess? I don't know, we just figured out I'm not human and I didn't tell the guy we're with details but I told him we needed to help you instead of going where he wanted and he... well, he tricked me and drugged me with mushrooms."

"So you're not going to be cutting our connection."

"No I am. I am. I just need to get out of here. I guess I hoped you would be willing to trust me, to help me somehow."

"And if I did? If I let you live, and you were able to break our connection? What would you do with your life?"

"I don't want to go back to Earth. If you want to, if you want to go live with mom or whatever, then it's all yours. I'll make sure you know our social security number and we can practice normal Earth interactions here in my head, and... whatever you need."

"I didn't ask what you can do for me, Sahrger. I asked what you would do for yourself."

"I need to... I don't know how much of this you've picked up, but I need to help stop Halenvar from destroying literally the whole world. I don't think it's a big deal honestly, I think those plans are already kinda fucked up. And then I need to deal with some people that I think are hunting Katrin and Errod because of a spellbook, and by then I guess I'll know what the other fate things are and I'll maybe have to deal with them."

I stumbled for a moment as the room seemed to tilt, but it settled quickly enough. "Fuck. Sorry. Uh... where was I? Right. After that stuff, the obligation shit? When I'm finally free? I want to be a goodguy. I want to kill monsters that are threatening towns, and maybe rescue more kids from the Sahrger, and just... travel. I want to see everything this world has to offer. And maybe I'll get lazy, and I'll use divination to see stuff instead or I'll just hang out in my own brain and be a total loser and do nothing of value with my life, that's all on the table too. But I won't... I'm not a monster, or if I am then I don't want to be. And if cutting our connection makes me lose my empathy, then I'll get it back. I'll find someone with the right kind of magic and I'll pay them to fix it, for real. For good. We can even do it together if you don't believe me, make it a double date. You can... fuck it, we'll get those scars fixed and you can pick out a new face for me."

She was just staring at me. The silence stretched on, while the occasional ripple spread through the room and threatened to knock me down or pull me out of the memory palace entirely. I was having trouble thinking clearly and was worried she had responded and I just hadn't heard her somehow, but before I could ask she finally replied.

"Fine. I still hate you, but... the more I look through your memories the harder it has been. It was easier before, you were this terrible fiend I had built up in my mind. And you acting oblivious just made my anger more powerful - how dare you? How dare you walk around like that face belonged to you? And then to share it with another, taunting me with... "

She hesitated, and cocked her head to look at me like I was some sort of puzzle. "And do you hate me, now? I helped lead them to her. She killed herself to defeat Telen, I saw it happen. It was very brave. But maybe she wouldn't have needed to, if I hadn't used your eyes to lead those men to you. They would have found you eventually, of course, but it might have gone differently. Gone better, for her."

"I... I don't know. I hate you a little, maybe, but... I don't want to unpack all that right now. It's not that simple, for all I know it would have actually been worse or something and she was... it's a lot to think about. But I'm willing to hate you for it and still help you, okay?"

"And your parents, do you hate me for what I did to them?"

Dad had died before I could even remember, and mom... no, shit, that was the mushrooms fucking me up. She was talking about my actual parents. But I couldn't remember them at all, and what had she done to... oh. Right. That memory that I could never place. Connie had mentioned it, but I'd seen it for myself the first time I saw a human in Xeyul. I felt a strange memory of rage, and that flash of a memory - stalking through a strangely shaped house, going into the bedroom... Well, that was one mystery solved.

"You killed them. You stabbed them to death in their sleep."

"They thought I was weak and foolish. They thought I was a good little slave, a well trained dog. They neglected to count the knives."

"Good for you."

There wasn't a lot more to say about that, honestly. I felt... strange... about the realization my actual parents had been murdered, but I wasn't angry. Fuck them. They were evil, abusive kidnappers and they deserved it. I'd avoided thinking about them in the hours since I had realized what I was, but frankly them being dead made everything easier. What would I have done, if they had been alive? Gone to visit? There was one thing, though.

"Did they ever talk about me? Did they... do you know my name?"

She looked uncomfortable, for the first time. "No. They had me look at what you were doing, and delighted in it when it was something evil. But they called you 'the child', if they called you anything at all. They had names like... flower petal, and new frost, and berry. But I do not know what name they gave to you."

I tried to say that was fine, but I stumbled on my words some. In response to my minor flare of emotions she sighed loudly and rolled her eyes, then crossed her arms in a huff.

"Fine."

"What?"

"Fine. You win. I accept. I will... see what I can do. I am not close to you, and the Behemoth is tracking you since you left the jungle. He has six men with him, and with you and your friends drugged I do not think the one with the mustache will be able to stop them."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"I helped them, obviously. I still have a message ring linked to his, from the attack on you in that town where your copy died. I delayed in telling him where you were while you were training, but when you refused to let me see a true memory of my bedroom I was angry with you and I told him of your location."

"Mother fucker."

"Yes. I will send to him again and see if I can delay him, but I believe he was getting close. I was expecting to feel your death soon. Do not make me regret this, monster. Do what you can to free yourself, and I will slow your doom."

She vanished. How close could he be, if we'd been keeping her from seeing what path the wagons were taking? If even we didn't know our destination, what were the odds the Behemoth could have followed? But then, there were probably only so many options if he knew where we'd gotten off the boat. Could it be a trap, to make me leave the wagon and give her our position? There was no way to be sure.

I opened the door back into the divination view, though I remained in the bedroom at Bill's house. Sure enough I was still tied up - what had I expected? My gear had been all put away when Hugh drugged me, and while Hugh had politely left my clothes on that didn't help me much. I tried again to make my body move and was rewarded with the sight of my head flopping to one side. That was it.

"Okay. Cool. I can wiggle a little bit. I guess that's good news."

The television behind me turned on and through the static I could see a movie playing. "My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head-jiggle is supposed to make me happy?"

"And now the television works? Sure, why not. Okay. Head is moving, some, so the rest of me can too if I try hard enough. I can do this."

Encouraging myself only got me so far, however, because I wasn't sure what "this" I was saying I could do. Flop around? Maybe. But then what? My hands and feet were tied, and I wasn't sure there was a lot I could do with my mouth. My little bandolier of knives wasn't on its hook, and while there were some other pieces of equipment around they were both out of reach and unhelpful. Water-breathing helmet? Nope. Hover shoes? Maybe they'd make it easier to crawl around while tied up but that was it. There were more clothes, and a shitty set of lock picks, and Connie's journal. The only stuff that was actually in reach was what I had taken off earlier and thrown in a heap in the corner just like Katrin was always telling me not to.

Oh. Jackpot.

I began screaming at myself to move. Slowly, awkwardly, my body started rocking back and forth and wiggling towards the edge of the bed. Would Hugh be popping in to drug me again soon? I had no idea. It was possible that being in my memory palace was keeping me from being as drugged as I should be - I'd spent a lot of time in there while my body was asleep, so it was possible that practice was paying off. But it was also possible that I could wake up if I tried at this point, and doing it the long way around was just wasting effort. With the mushrooms still in my system at least somewhat it was hard to tell for certain.

Finally I collapsed off the bed, landing in a ridiculously awkward position that probably would have hurt like hell if I'd been more aware of my body.

"A little further, come on. Scooch. There you go, get that nose under the laundry."

After what felt like ages I was in position, and it was time for phase two. I concentrated, and the pile of laundry started flailing around and then stopped.

"Damn it! Fuck! Okay, you lost it, you knew this might happen. Scooch in more, come on... there. Okay, attempt two."

The laundry flailed around again, battered from within, and then with a quiet click I succeeded in my goal.

"Deploying the drone."

Mister Creepy scurried out from under my clothes on the floor, his armband still pressed against my cheek. Now that I'd wiggled him free from the mount I could get him anywhere in the wagon, which opened up my options significantly. I didn't think he could gnaw me out of my ropes or anything, but even if Hugh had taken my knives there had to be something sharp I could get to. Just as I was looking around, I felt the wagon slow and stop. Shit.

I was wearing one of those Greek-looking dresses made from a big folded over sheet tied at the waist - comfortable and simple, god only knows why people on Earth stopped wearing them - and so I had Mister Creepy grab his own control band and shove it into the dress. The trick was that if it left contact with my skin I'd lose him, so I had to slide it along the skin carefully. Just as I tucked it under the rope belt - not nearly tight enough to be actually secure - I heard the clomp of boots outside the door. I rushed Mister Creepy out of the dress and into the corner to hide as Hugh stepped in.

"Oh, Calliope Smith. You are a fighter, yes?" He hesitated, watching me. Hugh wasn't going to take any chances, if it looked like there was any remote possibility I was going to pop up and attack him he was going to be ready for it. Finally he risked getting up close and with one swift movement flopped me over into the bed - I lost contact with Mister Creepy for a split second mid-air, but thankfully I landed on it. Hugh checked the ropes, nodded to himself, and then stepped out for only a moment before returning with more ropes and tying me to the bed.

"That should keep you put, yes? Too soon for more mushrooms unless I want to risk your health and so, my friend, the ropes must suffice."

I forced myself to wait not only until the wagon was moving again but a few minutes longer, just in case Hugh was paranoid enough to try and lull me into a false sense of security. Then it was Mister Creepy time again, and while waiting I had located the best tool in the wagon - it was actually a tiny blade Katrin had in her grooming kit, something she used on her cuticles or whatever - I'd never tried it. It was sharp enough to cut the ropes and small enough to be used by Mister Creepy, but as I found out my little spider puppet had almost no strength.

I began sawing away, tiny threads splitting off the much larger and tougher rope. It was going to be a long night.