《Dungeon I/O (⚒ Crafting ⚒)》Author’s Note: What Next?
Advertisement
Kind of funny that I’m echoing Franklin’s question from last chapter, but I suppose now is a good time to ask, “What next” for this story?
This I guess is stemming from waking up this morning to find that the story now has the lowest possible ratings for style, story and character, three out of the four advanced review categories, which essentially kills it, in my mind, for any RR stuff, just due to how ratings based everything on RR appears to be. That being said though, the scores in and of themselves isn’t as much what I want to discuss with you guys as the contents of the review that left the ratings.
I think the gist of it is that the story has too much infodumping and internal monologuing. Now, while this is a fair critique, I believe, I’ve also intentionally written the story as such because I was under the impression this is what the vast majority of readers preferred. Per discussion early on in the story, I had concluded that you guys wanted to read a “discovery” format, wherein Franklin goes about experimenting on various things, and the details regarding that experimentation. And the reason dialogue is being used, rather than just exposition, is because that seemed to be the preferred method to convey this discovery to readers. So, rather than:
Franklin did this, leading to this and this.
Which is how it was originally written, a lot of content was re-written as:
“Oh, so if I do this, then this and this happens.”
As for the infodumping, again, I was under the impression (from comments and reviews) that people liked all the numbers, realism, science and such, and that was what made this story unique and was the factor that led people to follow this story in the first place. In fact, it’s kind of paradoxical, I guess, for me that the reviewer mentions spending too much time at the start detailing the system, because from the poll after the Bristle arc, it seemed a good deal of you guys actually thought we jumped into exploration of the outside world too early, and more time should have been spent on the dungeon and systems, hence why I jumped back into all the tech, smelting and such.
Advertisement
Now, it’s also definitely possible that in my enthusiasm for all things science, I ended up landing too far on the other end spectrum, maybe? I know the last two chapters have been very number-heavy and detailed. In terms of writing, those two chapters I think actually took the longest out of any chapter so far, just due to how much research had to go into them, and I mean, it’s definitely “easier” to write chapters like the Bristle arc, where I can just imagination my way through. So, I guess what I’m saying is, if people dislike the format and detail of the last two chapters, I won’t be jumping at the chance to write them in that style either. The chapters could have been condensed into just, “Franklin creates a bloomery and uses bellows to smelt iron. Iron age achieved.” Done.
In any case, before this becomes too rambly, just wanted to touch base with you guys and see where the story should go from here. Please don't hate on the reviewer; I do think he/she has brought up a valid critique. At the same time, however, I don’t want a single review to color my entire perception of the story, hence why I've made this A/N, to get everyone's sentiment and feedback. As you guys are all aware, I’m fully open to feedback, so hit me with the cold, hard truth (my feelings will be fine).
Is this story (getting) boring? Dragging on?
Should I cut down on the numbers and technicals? Simplify the crafting?
Have more character driven chapters, and less system driven?
Keep everything as is?
Please, do let me know, so I can steer the story in a direction people enjoy reading. If you can leave a comment, or go upvote reviews that you agree with, that will give me a good indication of where to go next. Thank you guys for all the help and support!
Cheers,
Zack
Advertisement
- In Serial11 Chapters
Errand Boy
Re-make of a fiction made by me three years ago. Please enjoy. The story of gods favorite errand boy and his latest adventure.
8 85 - In Serial6 Chapters
Sona, A Goddess Queen in a Modern World.
In an infinite universe, millions of beings cultivate to attain supremacy. Some with good fortune has reached the rank of God Earl after a few millennia, others have not even reached the rank of God. Sona, with no memory of her parents, was abandoned in an adoption home accompanied by a strange musical instrument. The caretakers tried to sell it, but the strange instrument always appeared again somehow. After many years, people who thought she was just a quiet child discovered that she was not capable of producing any sound. With this deficiency, Sona studied the strange instrument with the help of her foster mother and invented a new way to cultivate. Becoming the Goddess Queen of Music, Sona achieved enough strength to destroy planets with only one musical note. But to her disappointment, she could never become a God Empress. After a disaster caused by the struggle of the two most powerful beings in the universe, Sona died and was transported to the body of a young teenage girl on modern earth. How will Sona use knowledge as the Goddess Queen of Music and one of the most powerful goddesses of the universe in this new body that now doesn't stop her from speaking?
8 140 - In Serial8 Chapters
Kichiro's Rampage
Meet Kichiro, the son of a samurai. A social outcast, he leaves his home with nothing but a musket and a sword, determined to carve himself a niche in a chaotic world of dragons and leviathans. This fiction incorporates LitRPG elements, but it's not set in a VR. It's set in a fantastical world based loosely on East Asia in the 16th and 17th Century, when the Ming Dynasty was on its last legs, with the addition of magic and monsters. I totally stole the stat tables from Exterminatus, the author of Everybody Loves Large Chests, so let me credit him for that. I'm new to writing so please don't hesitate to criticise, and reviews would be greatly appreciated.
8 163 - In Serial57 Chapters
Alexa Demie Oneshots
Just like the title says (gxg) 😚Requests are OPEN 💬I (try to) update multiple times a week✍️Extra-long chapters 🤠⚠️Swearing⚠️Correct me if I'm wrong because I don't know 😭I'm not gonna write smut because I'm gay just not THAT gay (jk) 🥴Anyway, I hope you enjoy this :)Cover by me as always 😼© 2022 SimpleTimez
8 147 - In Serial18 Chapters
A Hero Among Monsters
A worker goblin in service of a Dread Lord wasn't expected to do much more than maintain the sprawling, underground Machines Works. Although he imagined doing more, Tad had long accepted that he'd likely end up an old man like his boss, Glum, happily toiling among the gears and cranks. When an enigmatic orc named Hohza suddenly recruits the pair of goblins into his War Party, their duties to the Dread Lord Withering Sorrows switch to battling dwarves, sprites, and elves. If Tad survives, he may get to experience a world wider than he'd ever dreamed ... which may be too much for everyone else! New chapters are posted weekly on Thursday mornings.
8 171 - In Serial24 Chapters
The Girl with Scales and a Sword
This is the story of a girl who ends up with scales and a sword. Yup. There you have it folks. Slice of Life is the key intended genre. This is literally going to be a running commentary of a girls life, especially as it relates to adventure and action This is going to be a continuous work, as I intend it to be a side project while I work on other books more decidedly, and I intend to rework chapters often, because I want this both to be a break from other titles, and a learning experience. I'm going to be trying to get a lot of people to comment on chapters so I can grow as a writer. So if you want to read, please do! and comment if you feel generous. Just keep in mind, releases will likely be veeeeery far apart. (Note: I try to put out a chapter a month, though that doesn't always happen depending on school, work, and generally how well I'm doing, energy-wise)
8 220

