《Dungeon I/O (⚒ Crafting ⚒)》Author’s Note: What Next?
Advertisement
Kind of funny that I’m echoing Franklin’s question from last chapter, but I suppose now is a good time to ask, “What next” for this story?
This I guess is stemming from waking up this morning to find that the story now has the lowest possible ratings for style, story and character, three out of the four advanced review categories, which essentially kills it, in my mind, for any RR stuff, just due to how ratings based everything on RR appears to be. That being said though, the scores in and of themselves isn’t as much what I want to discuss with you guys as the contents of the review that left the ratings.
I think the gist of it is that the story has too much infodumping and internal monologuing. Now, while this is a fair critique, I believe, I’ve also intentionally written the story as such because I was under the impression this is what the vast majority of readers preferred. Per discussion early on in the story, I had concluded that you guys wanted to read a “discovery” format, wherein Franklin goes about experimenting on various things, and the details regarding that experimentation. And the reason dialogue is being used, rather than just exposition, is because that seemed to be the preferred method to convey this discovery to readers. So, rather than:
Franklin did this, leading to this and this.
Which is how it was originally written, a lot of content was re-written as:
“Oh, so if I do this, then this and this happens.”
As for the infodumping, again, I was under the impression (from comments and reviews) that people liked all the numbers, realism, science and such, and that was what made this story unique and was the factor that led people to follow this story in the first place. In fact, it’s kind of paradoxical, I guess, for me that the reviewer mentions spending too much time at the start detailing the system, because from the poll after the Bristle arc, it seemed a good deal of you guys actually thought we jumped into exploration of the outside world too early, and more time should have been spent on the dungeon and systems, hence why I jumped back into all the tech, smelting and such.
Advertisement
Now, it’s also definitely possible that in my enthusiasm for all things science, I ended up landing too far on the other end spectrum, maybe? I know the last two chapters have been very number-heavy and detailed. In terms of writing, those two chapters I think actually took the longest out of any chapter so far, just due to how much research had to go into them, and I mean, it’s definitely “easier” to write chapters like the Bristle arc, where I can just imagination my way through. So, I guess what I’m saying is, if people dislike the format and detail of the last two chapters, I won’t be jumping at the chance to write them in that style either. The chapters could have been condensed into just, “Franklin creates a bloomery and uses bellows to smelt iron. Iron age achieved.” Done.
In any case, before this becomes too rambly, just wanted to touch base with you guys and see where the story should go from here. Please don't hate on the reviewer; I do think he/she has brought up a valid critique. At the same time, however, I don’t want a single review to color my entire perception of the story, hence why I've made this A/N, to get everyone's sentiment and feedback. As you guys are all aware, I’m fully open to feedback, so hit me with the cold, hard truth (my feelings will be fine).
Is this story (getting) boring? Dragging on?
Should I cut down on the numbers and technicals? Simplify the crafting?
Have more character driven chapters, and less system driven?
Keep everything as is?
Please, do let me know, so I can steer the story in a direction people enjoy reading. If you can leave a comment, or go upvote reviews that you agree with, that will give me a good indication of where to go next. Thank you guys for all the help and support!
Cheers,
Zack
Advertisement
- In Serial16 Chapters
Supernatural Myths
Percy was abducted by a lycan while traveling from California after visiting his girlfriend, Annabeth. Sam fell to a trap of a werewolf they were chasing all the way from New Jersey to California. Sam thought that Percy was caught into trouble when they saw one another. Percy thought Sam was a demigod like him, abducted by the stupid mutts. What will happen next when they tried to team up to escape? Will Percy find out that there's not only lycans/wolves, vampires, ghosts, and other mythical creatures of both Greek and Roman world , but there are others too? Or Sam will find out that Percy is not what he thinks—an ordinary boy?
8 110 - In Serial8 Chapters
The Sweet Song of The Sea
The golden rain suddenly came and showered the streets of Japan in its ethereal glow before all hell broke loose. Devastating hurricanes, storms earthquakes and tsunamis suddenly appeared all over the world destroying whatever was in their path. Sakura, a regular office worker who was actually decently beautiful, didn't amount to much in life because of poor choices. After another failed date with a guy she thought was promising, she went home to her apartment complex with the intention to cheer herself up, by baking some cookies and watching her favourite TV show. Yet, that never happened, as she found herself crashing through her wall as the building crumbled to pieces around her. Right before her eyes the world had become an underwater grave and she became apart of it . When she came awoke she found herself in a strange world with a new mother. Which didn’t last very long.
8 101 - In Serial11 Chapters
Being the God of Hell is a bother [On temporary hiatus]
A group of people dies in a plane crash, but their souls are snatched away by an entity called the Highest One, that wants to make them the gods of a new world in order to guide and control its population. One of the passengers, Viktor, protests this, saying that the people of the new world should be entitled to find their own path in life without immortal beings ruling over them. The Highest One then ask Viktor if he really has that much faith in humanity, and after Viktor answer positively he made him into the God of Hell, tasked with redeeming the souls of the damned, as a way to test Viktor's faith in humanity... EDIT: I'm reworking this novel a bit, changing the first chapters from the "screenplay" form to standard prose. I should be done and start a shedule of one chapter per week at the end of february.
8 143 - In Serial21 Chapters
Survivors of the Wild
Updated More frequently on https://senjiqcreations.wordpress.comWhen the centralised city disappears and the worlds collapse in on themselves, a desperate mage make one last attempt to find the city. When a mysterious game appears in the games library of every VR capsule overnight, people begin to explore the world of 'Saviours of the Wild'. The tale of two joined worlds unaware of eachother despite seeing eachother begins.(Mature and Romance tags are more like guidelines)
8 244 - In Serial13 Chapters
Of Gods and boredom - Origin
Living your life quietly for 26 years, enjoying everything it has to offer and then realizing just how boring and dull it is... you cannot help but crave for something else.In novels, movies or other types of fiction the main character gets transported to another world, goes back in time or simply helps the prevention of the world itself ending at the hand of a zombie apocalypse or an alien invasion...But what happens when the main character alongside the entire planet and its people get transported into a different universe?
8 113 - In Serial49 Chapters
Mr. CEO's Fiery Nanny
I beg to differ that.", I sassed and got out of his grip ready to move out of the room when he pulled me by my elbow and the next second I was pushed on the visitor's chair.He trapped me completely by keeping his palms on the arms of the chair. "I tried to tell you patiently.", I scoffed at his words. Patience and he don't go in a single sentence. He gripped my chin making me look into his eyes."Now listen carefully Miss, I want you for my niece as her babysitter. Tell me how much you'll take and we can seal the deal."This time it was me who blinked once, twice and thrice."But I don't want to work for you." See the reason was absolutely clear. I liked the kid since the moment I met her but I hated this man from the moment I gazed into his eyes. "How much?"I frowned."You really think your money can make everyone dance on your tips?""1200 dollars a week."I rolled my eyes making him lean towards me." 1500?""Make it 15000 and still I won't work for you.", I retorted and pushed him. I walked to the door and gave him one glance."Next time when you talk to me, make sure you keep all your richness aside. That's one thing that I never want to see you again, you self-centred CEO.""We shall see."...Brave but lonely.Passionate but sensitive.That's Arielle Summers. For everyone, Money, Assets and happiness may be supreme but to her, self-respect is prime.Cold and reckless.Commanding and ruthless.That was Nicolas Arnold. He only cared for his niece, his Mama and his friends.Love life didn't exist until-she came into the picture. *No Toxic Relationship. No ex-crush/lover/fiance/wife. The male lead is the uncle of the child in this book, he's not a manwhore. There are no trust issues. *Impressive Ranking: #8 in love among 2.31M on 09/04/22©2021 ankitawrites_XxCC: @YT_BookAwards_Covers
8 223

