It is cramped, so I go outside. Little ones come in the moving boxes. They are scared of me and don’t want to come close. Then Lars comes, so I make a mind bond with him and also the most important other human.

The other human is strange, but when I change him Lars gets mad. He is also mad because I didn’t do as he told me. So I told him it was too small inside and he gets less mad. He talks a lot with another human. The another human says I can’t be here, but Lars is mate so I want to share nest with him.

If I’m too big and humans are afraid, then I’ll just become human! Then I can go where I want! The wolf feels a little bit like them, and there is so many of them, so I just make a form like a human.

Lars stops me from making the form. The humans are too scared. But that’s fine because I already have the form. The humans become different when I take on the form. They are not scared, or angry, but I don’t know what they are. Oh, I must hide the body body.

Lars talks more with the other human and the other ones go away, then we go inside. Lars helps me make a new form. Then he does something else. I use the mind bond to learn from him. I can do that even when he does not share or teach me.

He thinks differently. This is strange. Why is it different when he teaches me? His thoughts and ‘memories’ are also different. This is also strange. But the memories are easier to learn, so that is good.

I am learning a lot from Lars and from other humans. I have human friends now! So when Lars said the humans wanted to learn from me I was happy. He says ‘study’ means something a bit differently, but I can still help!

They stabbed me.

They stabbed me many times and took my blood. They also stabbed Lars and Lars’ puppets and also Tåke. She became sad and didn’t want to help any more, but I am stronger so I helped all the time! Lars says they want more help from me, but that he will maybe say no because it’s not so good.

Lars has been wanting that I become a person for a while now, but I can already become a human. They are different, but I don’t understand what person means. I don’t think Lars’ knows either, because his memories and knowledge is confusing.

When I asked he said it’s about the legalalali or something, and that I get ‘rights’. I don’t understand why the legalily is so important, it’s not like I change. He said it’s about how other people think about things. The rights means that other people can’t do bad things or they are bad people who go to jail. Which is bad.

It also has something to do with philosophy and ethics. They are also difficult words. Philosophy is a funny word, you can say it many times and then it sounds all weird. I don’t understand all the big words and sometimes when I ask why they give stupid answers, but I think philosophy and ethics is a good thing.

I have been thinking about it a lot, and I agree on very many things. Killing is bad, I don't want to die. I don’t want pain. I want the egg to be safe. It is not long until it will hatch, and I hope it hatches safely. If I become a person it will be a lot safer and that is good. I like ‘the golden rule’, it makes ethics a lot easier!

I am… nervous. Lars has said I will do fine in the interview, and he will be there, but what if I say something wrong? I have been getting used to the human-puppet form and the raptor form (I like that one better because Lars thinks it cuter) so I don’t feel so squished and trapped in it anymore, but what if it takes too long?

Lars just ‘sweared’ at the papers. I don’t understand what the lines mean, but I know that there are words there, just flat written words, not thinking of speaking words. It is strange to use words so much…

I have started thinking in words sometimes, but I also think in not-words. Lars calls them ideas and concepts. When I use the mind bond, the thoughts I get from the others are not-words, except when it’s a not-word and a word at the same time, like when Lars teaches me or I learn from his knowledge.

Lars has said I can’t just learn from others knowledge unless I ask and they say yes, because it is unethical. At first I was confused, but then he asked me how I would like if other people just ‘read my mind’ and learned my memories. I don’t think that’s bad, but then he said that then people could learn that I have an egg and what if they’re bad people who wants to hurt it?

So I apologized to my friends and asked if it was okay. Some were scared of me or even started crying and that made me sad, but their parents and Lars said it was good that I apologized, even if no one told me to. They talked to my friends and then it was okay, but I have to ask every time or I have to apologize again and I don’t want to feel bad like that.

“Ready?” Lars says, snapping me out of my thoughts. He holds out a hand, smiling. Maybe this will be fine…

I’m a person now! Prov-ish-o-nall-e, says Lars. It means temporary, not completely. I don’t get it, but it’s a good thing. Now I can go to Lars’ apartment when I want to! He said I should still use the hiding-magic, but that’s easy.

And he has presents! Now I can listen to the music all the time! I can’t call with the phone but I can call with my mouth if I go to him so that is okay. I know where he lives and I can feel him with the companion bond. It has been getting stronger. That is weird but I like it.

Lars is working with people who have sent machines to space because he wants to go to space and he says they know more than him about going to space. They’re doing alllll sorts of tests, but I want to test the ‘magic thruster’, it looks fun!

He says it doesn’t work as well as it should, because going to space means going so far up that the earth looks small, like a melon. That has to be really far, because the earth is super big, not like people who look like ants if you just fly a bit up.

I get to join some of the other tests, where he tries go to very high. At first he couldn’t go as far as he can now, but now he can go higher than me. That’s why I’m practicing in secret, and I’m bringing Philip! He’s my best friend, but Lars is my bestest friend. Lars says that’s not a real word, but it’s fine because he becomes happy when I say it.

“Can I really fly on your back?”

“Mh-hmm!” I nod, as I lead him to my main body.

It’s much easier to fly without the egg-bag, so I asked Lars if he could watch it today. I don’t know why he was so surprised, but he’s stronger than any other human, only a little bit weaker than me, and his nest, uhm, apartment has so much magic that no one can defeat him and take the egg!

“But won’t I fall off?”

“Nuh-uh, Lars made a saddle. It even has seat-belts, so you won’t fall off.” I hop up on a rock and put my hand so that I don’t get sun in my eyes.

“See, there I am, all the white rope-things are the saddle.” I say, pointing at my main body. I’m lying in an opening of trees and the sun is warming me. It’s really relaxing and I almost want to sleep, but I get to play with Philip the entire day so I don’t want to.

He looks up at me, to to both sides of the rock, then walk to the right or the left. I don’t know which is which, but the letter for R looks funny. “Besides, if you fall I will fly down and catch you! I’ve been playing ‘skydiving’ with Lars and I’m really good at catching.”

“Ooh-kay” he says.

We walk over to my main body and I start climbing on my back. I stop and hold my hand to him to help him up.

“Uhm, I think that maybe I should ask mom first.” He says, standing there in that way humans stand when they are almost-afraid. What was it Lars called it again? Fidget-spinning? No, that was different. And that word which is like fidget-spinning without spinning is what you do with your hands, I remember now.

Lars said that there are some thing I should always ask the parent about first. Oh, we’ll be going so high up that my mana can’t reach Philip’s house. “Yeah, I think so too.”

I want my phone to be able to do calls, too, but that costs money and Lars said I need to be a real person for a little while before the phone company knows that I am a person.

“Hi mom. Uhm, I want to ride Leda and fly, but I thought I should ask first.”

…

“Uh-huh, she says it’s safe. Lars made a saddle and seatbelts and stuff.”

…

“But she says she will catch me.”

…

He turns to me. “Will we be going far?”

I shake my head. “Just around the forest.”

“She says just around the forest.”

…

“Ok thanks, I love you mom!”

…

He taps some button and puts the phone in his pocket, then looks like he’s thinking. “What if my phone falls out, that’d be really bad!”

“You can put it in a bag on the saddle. Lars does that and he made really sure things can’t fall out.”

“Okay.” He says, walking over and reaching his hand out. I pull him up.

“Waaaaaaaaaa!” He screams when I do that thing where you spin in the air.

I already sit backwards, facing him, and lean towards him so that he can hear me over the wind. Lars said that I can almost go faster than sound, but unless you get really close you can’t hear what others are saying, so I think I’m going faster. “Isn’t this fun!”

“Slooow dooown!” He screams.

I slow down a little bit and he relaxes. “That was really fun but also scary. In the amusement park I can’t take the grown-up rollercoasters, but I think it is like this. But when you suddenly turned I hit my head on the big you and now it hurts.”

I put my hand on the part of his forehead he rubs and use healing magic. “There! When playing with Lars and his wolf-girl I often get hurt and then he uses this magic.”

“It doesn’t hurt so much now.”

“Yeah! Wanna try flying reeeeeeally high?”

He makes really big eyes then start blinking. Oh, that’s why Lars uses the goggles.

“Reeeeally high? Like, even higher than now?” He tries to look over my wing, and I turn a bit so that he can see the ground. “That’d be awesome!”

I open the bag where Lars stores his ‘flying gear’ and take out his big-glasses while making sure nothing falls out. I hold them out. “Here, use these.”

Philip gasps. “Goggles! Actual flying goggles! Cooool!”

He takes them and tries put put them on but drops them. It’s fine because I catch it with force magic. “Careful!”

This time I help him put them on. I forgot how to make them fit, but Philip seems to know.

“Yarr! I’m the gray baron! Or something.” He says and laughs. I don't know who the gray baron is, but it sounds funny, so I laugh with him.

“Time to go reeeeally high up?”

“Yeah!”

We’re almost by the mountains again, so I turn around to continue our biiig circle, then start flying up up up higher.

“Hey!” He yells. “Try going to the city, I bet people look really-” I can’t hear the last part.

“Lars says I shouldn’t fly over the city unless I need too.”

“Oh.” He pauses. “But can you fly closer?”

It’s fine as long as I’m not over the city, right? “Yessir!”

I don’t say anything because I have to yell, and Philip is also quiet. He’s looking at the ground and smiling like he’s laughing and pointing, though. I look at the places he points at. Sometimes it’s a bit hard since I’m sitting the wrong way and could fall off if I take off the belt, but the people looks reeeeally small from here.

When I play with Lars he always wants us to stay over the nest, but it looks so different from this high up. I almost can’t even see the people, except when there’s really many of them. At the city center there are colored blobs that I think are groups of people all over, and I can see so many cars on the road.

I climb higher and higher, first fast, then slower as it becomes harder. I can’t even see people from here, and even the cars are hard to see. Philip has stopped pointing, but he’s still smiling.

Up here it’s a bit colder, and I start breathing heavily. But I have been higher, and Lars has been even higher. I look at all the roads in the city and the big roads going to and from the city and it’s all really small. Something hits my main body, and I look at Philip.

He has flopped over. Is he sleeping? “Philip?” I ask.

He doesn’t move, but his arms are moving in the wind. “Philip!?” I say, louder.

“PHILIP?!?” I yell.

He doesn’t answer, so I shake him. I pull him up, his face looks like he’s sleeping, and his mouth is open. Suddenly both my bodies feel really heavy.

Oh no.

Oh.

“NO!” I yell, shaking him.

“Philip, Philip, Philip, Philip! Wake up!”

I look towards the city. It’s really tiny. I look to Philip and I feel even heavier.

Hmm, what did Lars say to do if something bad happened? If someone is hurt I need to go to a doctor or the hospital, if someone is doing something bad I need to call the police, and if something is on fire call the fire people. Ask people, and they will help.

But what if someone is dead? Or maybe he’s just stopped working. Can humans just fall asleep? What should I do...

I know! I should go to Lars, he knows what to do!

But I’m so high up, I think I got even higher than before, maybe even higher than Lars. But, that just means it’s really far down…

I turn and dive downwards, towards the feeling of Lars. I fold my wings like Lars does to go faster when flying, and with the puppet I hug Philip. I will save you. Or, I don’t think I can…

Lars will save you. Yeah, Lars can fix everything!

Usually I weave and turn and spin when diving and playing with Lars. If Philip was fine I’d do so, but that slows me down so we just fall.

The air gets thicker as we fall, so I push at the air like Lars taught me, making it move to the sides before I hit it.

We go really super fast, and I want to try this with Lars but first he needs to help my friend.

The city is getting bigger and bigger really fast, but I want it to go even faster.

I can see the cars, not so clear at first, but better and better. When i see the cars clearly I start seeing the people.

But I don’t care, where is Lars? There, in the big open area, in the city center, I think. There’s many people there.

He’s looking up at me.

He feels suddenly-scared. Then he feels actual-scared. I can’t hear what he says, but he makes some magic and points at his head.

I don’t understand, but I put magic on his head. Oh, a mind bond. I take it.

As soon as it does I feel afraid, like I must stop.

｢{Terrified, shocked, confused}Slowdownslowdownslowsdownoryou will die! You’re going too fast! Slow down, slow down or you won’t stop in time!｣

Oh. I forgot about landing hard. I spread my wings and my mana, letting air be in the way and pushing against everything.

I feel really heavy, like I should keep falling, and open my mouth for a roar.

The ground is coming too fast, but slower and slower, and I clutch Philip with my puppet.

Keep him safe! I need to keep him safe! I make a bubble like they do in the shows.

And then my roar stops as I crash through a tree and into the grassy ground next to Lars.