One morning towards the end of February, during my fencing lesson, I decided that it was finally time to learn more from Ken about what I’d be expected to do as the Guardian.

Ken had chosen to teach me a style that he said some Musketeers had used in France in the 1600’s. It was made up of a lot of quick motions, taking advantage of my speed and dexterity, and tended towards what I thought were rather vicious slashing and stabbing moves. It certainly violated quite a few of the competition rules I’d learned in college, but I had to admit it was much more practical.

It was also exhausting.

Puffing and wheezing, I leaned on my practice sword for a moment before waving my surrender at Ken and sitting down heavily on the padding. Sparkle - human-sized for practice - hurried over with a towel and a bottle of water for me. I took them gratefully, wiping down my face and neck, and then slowly sipping water.

Ken took the practice blade from me and put it away, smiling. “I know it might not feel like it, but you’re improving very rapidly. You have a tremendous talent for learning.”

“And yet,” I wheezed, “you’re still beating the pants off of me.”

“Anything worth doing - “ Ken started to say.

I cut him off, having heard it before. “Takes time. I know, I know. But is this really worth it?”

“Are you enjoying it?” Ken asked curiously.

“Well…” I considered it for a moment, then nodded. “I suppose I am, actually. I mean…from a purely physical standpoint, I feel better than I ever have. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Ken sighed and settled to the padding facing me, crossing his legs as he sat. I had asked him a few weeks earlier why he didn’t just sink through the floor when he said down, to which he’d replied, “Because it’s the floor.”

I hadn’t bothered asking again.

Now he considered me seriously before speaking. “I do think it’s necessary. Not just because improving your physical stamina will improve your magical stamina as well - “

I nodded without interrupting him.

“ - but also because, as I mentioned once before, a very large percentage of the supernatural population hasn’t come into the 21st Century as far as self-defense goes. Or even into the 20th Century, really. Medieval and Renaissance weaponry are still very popular, and trial by sword is a popular way of settling disputes.”

I groaned a little. “So I might really have to defend myself with a sword at some point? It’s not just ceremonial?”

“It is a distinct possibility, Caley,” Ken said gently. “Especially if you have dealings with the Sidhe. The Guardian has, in the past, frequently been called on to be a negotiator between conflicting parties, to provide aid and succor to those in need, and yes, even to settle disputes with the occasional duel.”

“Mistress Chessie fought one when she was just nineteen,” Sparkle said.

“She did?” I asked.

Ken nodded. “Against a rather obnoxious young Sidhe lord. Your mother favored the longsword.” He pursed his lips. “She had some anger issues to work out, and the longsword’s rougher, harder style suited her at the time. As I recall, she beat him rather spectacularly, then settled the issue with some impressive diplomacy.” He paused for a moment, then smiled faintly. "If it's any consolation, such duels are mostly non-lethal. In Sidhe circles, at least, it's considered very gauche to kill during a duel."

"Actually, that does make me feel a bit better." I sighed a little and sipped more water, then probed pointedly. “It sounds like the Guardian has to wear a lot of different hats.”

Ken smiled a little. “True enough. You will have to be diplomat and warrior, forceful and gentle, even outright rude at times if the situation calls for it. And you’re probably going to have to work harder at being respected than any of your ancestors have in some time.”

“Why?”

Ken considered his words for a moment. “Because of what happened to your parents and grandparents, you are very much isolated here…you don’t have the support structure that they had.”

“What kind of support structure?” I asked, a hint of fear working its way into the pit of my stomach.

“Working treaties with the Sidhe,” Ken said slowly, “with the most influential werewolf clans, and the strongest vampires around the world. Relationships with the magical community for support - the International Consortium of Organized Arcana, for example - and with the the spirit world for information. These are all connections that you’re going to have to rebuild from the ground up, being a completely unknown quantity.”

I frowned. “That sounds…difficult.”

“It will be time consuming, and probably frustrating,” Ken said with a reassuring smile, “but I don’t think it’ll be too difficult in the long run.” He reached out and touched my shoulder with an insubstantial hand. “You’re a charming young woman, very intelligent and very personable. You won’t have any problem with this.”

“Promise?” I asked, trying to dispel the cold feeling that had settled in the pit of my stomach.

“Well…” his smile faltered just a little. “You probably won’t have any problems, anyway.”

“That isn’t very reassuring,” I said. But in a weird way it was. If I knew up front that it would be a challenge, I could steel myself for it and do my best to prepare for it. I could handle that. “And, to be honest, I never in my wildest dreams saw myself as any kind of a diplomat.”

“It sort of goes with the territory,” Ken said apologetically. “Believe me, whether you want to do it or not, they’re going to come to you eventually.”

I blew out a breath and sipped some more water. “All right. I guess we’d better include some lessons in basic diplomacy in my schedule.”

Ken chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do. But in this environment, it’s not something you can be taught, as much as something you’re going to have to learn by doing it over time. It’s a reputation you have to build…and you’re going to have to decide for yourself where to draw certain lines.”

“What do you mean?”

Sparkle shrank back down and settled atop my head, which made me smile a little. Just having her there relieved a tiny amount of the stress I was feeling.

“Well,” Ken sighed, “when beings come to you for help, you’re going to have to decide what you can and will help them with. If you step into one clan feud, for example, you can expect other clans to come to you for help with the same sort of thing. I’m not saying don’t do that. You need to follow your conscience. But you also need to be aware that doing so will inevitably draw you into more of the same.”

I frowned a little. “So…if I mediate a conflict in a group’s favor, other groups with similar problems will come to me for help?”

“Quite certainly,” Ken nodded. “And I wouldn’t be surprised if opposing groups tried to trick you into helping them.”

I rubbed my face with both hands.

“That’s the unfortunate reality of supernatural politics,” Ken said sympathetically. “Of any politics, really. But the supernatural world tends to be…how can I put this…”

“Bluntly,” I said quietly, needing to hear the worst.

He sighed a little. “There are beings and nations who will want to take advantage of you and use you for their own ends, regardless of the outcome for you, good or bad. It’s something you’ll have to watch out for. Fortunately, Sparkle and I can advise you as to who can and can’t be trusted. At least, usually.”

“Only usually?” I asked.

“There are going to be times where it’s not that simple.” Ken drummed his fingers on the floor…I could actually faintly hear the sound of it.

Finally, he said, “Let me use the Sidhe as an example. When they approach you, you will most likely be dealing with either the Seelie or Unseelie Courts, frequently referred to as the Summer and Winter Courts respectively. Many people make the mistake of thinking that means that the Seelie Court is the friendlier and safer of the Sidhe nations. But the Seelie Court is also the court of emotion, passion and impulse. You’ve heard the term ‘Hot tempered’?”

I nodded.

“It defines them well. The Unseelie Court, in contrast, is the court of logic, control and forethought.” Ken paused for a moment, then smiled lopsidedly. “I wouldn’t define either of them as ‘good’ or ‘evil.’ Each has its own stable of dangerous monsters hidden beneath the surface; each has members who take impulsive action, and members who play long and incredibly complex games. Neither will ever tell you anything that isn’t perfectly true, as the Sidhe are physically incapable of lying…but that doesn’t mean that either side can be trusted to tell the whole truth.”

“Then how do I know who to trust?” I asked, the increasingly familiar sensation of being overwhelmed growing in the pit of my stomach.

Ken sighed. “You’re going to have to judge that carefully, for yourself, and weigh the benefits and pitfalls of helping them. There will be times when you’ll have to be pragmatic about it, and not let it be an emotional decision…you might have to judge in favor of someone - or a group - that you don’t like because they’re right, even if you don’t like it. It won’t make you more popular, but it will make you more trustworthy. Honesty counts for a lot in the supernatural world. That’s especially true with the Sidhe.”

I rubbed my face. “What about fairies, like Sparkle?”

“Well,” Ken said, “Sparkle belongs to you, and thus isn’t beholden to either Court.”

Thank goodness for that.

“Most of the lesser Fae - ” Ken began again.

“Hey!” Sparkle said indignantly from atop my head.

“I’m very sorry, Sparkle,” Ken said with a smile. “Most of the non-aligned Wildfae will naturally align with one Court or the other during times of conflict, or will remain unaligned and be treated as mercenaries.”

Sparkle huffed, then muttered, “I suppose that’s accurate enough.”

Glancing upwards, I asked, “And which did you align with, Sparkle?”

“Before Mistress Chessie claimed me, I occasionally served the Unseelie Court.” She lowered her voice and whispered, “You always know where you stand with them.”

I supposed that made sense. But it didn’t make me feel any better. Ken looked like he was about to start lecturing again, so I held up a hand to head him off at the pass. My heart seemed to be thudding loudly in my ears as I tried to digest all of this information. “I…” I took a deep breath and let it out, forcing myself to calm down. “I think I need a shower.”

Sparkle bounced off my head and was suddenly the size of a teenager again, taking my hands and pulling me to my feet. As she did, she leaned in and whispered, “Mistress Chessie had a hard time with this at first too. You’re going to do just fine. I believe in you.”

Warmed by her words and absolute faith in me, I headed for the shower.

As I washed my hair, what Ken had told me lingered in my mind. While I had a good grasp of human nature - you don’t study history without learning something about the way we behaved as a species - I was totally out of my depth with anything beyond that. I wasn’t trained to be a diplomat…heck, I’d never even had enough friends while growing up to act as a peace-maker for them. I’d never thought of myself as someone who’d ever have to physically fight anyone else for anything…with words, yes, but literally?

And yet, it seemed like I was going to end up doing both eventually, no matter what. I loved Oakwood Hall more than anything I ever had in my life, but how could I possibly deal with everything that came with it?

“Caley,” Sparkle said urgently from where she was now balanced - once more tiny - atop the shower head. “Caley, take a deep breath!”

Looking up at her, I realized both that she looked worried, and that I was on the verge of a panic attack. I was standing there beneath the spray of hot water, alternately breathing too fast and not breathing at all, my hands clenching and unclenching. My heart seemed to be thundering in my ears.

I pressed one hand against the wall and leaned into it, bracing myself and trying to get my breathing under control.

It didn’t work. I couldn’t center my mind, couldn’t stop my heart from hammering in my chest.

Sparkle’s warm purple glow washed over me, and she was suddenly hovering in front of my face, soaked to the skin by the spray from the shower head. “It’s okay,” she said reassuringly. “I’m here. Ken is here. It’ll be hard at first, but you’ll get through this.”

As soon as her light touched me, enough of my panic receded that I was able to gather up the rest and start tamping it down myself. I took one deep breath, then another, then a third, and a fourth. By the fifth, the light-headed feeling began to fade and my heart rate began to slow.

I tipped my head forward until my forehead bumped very gently into Sparkle’s little head, which made her giggle and hug my forehead.

“Thank you, Sparkle,” I said quietly, raising my head again and giving her a weak smile.

She puffed up her chest a little and her glow brightened, beaming what I’d come to think of as her ‘I’m helping!’ expression at me. “You’re welcome, Caley!”

I shut off the water, and by the time I stepped out of the shower, Sparkle - once again human-sized and miraculously dry - was waiting with a towel, evidently intent on pampering me a little. And she did, drying me off from head to toe and wrapping my hair in a second towel. She helped me into my bathrobe - by which time I was back to something that resembled normal, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop - and walked me out to sit so that Ken could dry and braid my hair while I ate a light breakfast.

By the time he’d finished, Sparkle had even laid out clothes on the bed for me…a knee-length black skirt with a dark purple stripe that ran horizontally around it about an inch up from the hemline, a matching purple silk blouse, a pair of heavy winter tights patterned with wide, horizontal purple and black stripes that looked like they had escaped from from my mother’s drawers, and a pair of black ankle boots.

It wasn’t quite my usual style, but…it looked cute, Sparkle had chosen it, and after the incident in the shower I felt like I’d do just about anything for her. So why not?

“So,” Ken said, “what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?”

“I think,” I said, “I’m going out for a while.”

“Oh?” He asked, sounding a bit wary. It wasn’t a Thursday, after all, and our plan had been to start working on more powerful lightning spells.

“Yes,” I said firmly. “I’d like to go to London for the day.”