Uno

Jonathan's roar echoed against the walls of the food hall, his endless fury and pain soaking the stone for a moment that felt like an eternity. He and his opponents stood petrified, similar to a biblical painting of Goliath and David I once saw. Well, Davids in this case.

If, of course, Goliath was a large, armored undead with half of his face blown off and there were many Davids skulking about armed not with a simple, leather sling, but deadly weapons.

So… it was nothing like a biblical painting in the end.

Yet somehow I couldn’t get the scene out of my mind.

Maybe because I was thoroughly impressed that Jonathan managed to block the entrance to the lower levels without any orders. It was not a small feat in my book since the pain must’ve been monstrous. His eye simply disappeared as the magic disintegrated the upper left part of his skull, leaving cauterized and burned tissue. It looked nasty and I was wondering how did he even survive such an attack. I guess being an undead helped? Or maybe it was his stone diet? Who knows.

Anyway - he was blocking the way forward - with his own body nonetheless. This had bought me a few more minutes to move troops, arm them and overall prepare. To make sure that a real trap on the second level was ready to be sprung.

I knew I could do it. After all, even now I nearly succeeded - if only my servants were a bit stronger. My traps were a bit more elaborate…

Wait.

Why didn’t I do it then? I could send more minions, build better traps - so why?

This feeling… This deja vu...

It came and disappeared immediately and just when I thought I understood...

The reality struck me.

Jonathan was standing near the exit not because his body retained some misguided notion of chivalry, but due to a sudden loss of vision! Or rather a lack of depth perception that was common when one had only a single eye to depend on!

This idea was further reinforced by his first swing, which crashed his unwieldy weapon against the ground. It landed with a powerful noise, expelling the pieces of stone all around it - except that it completely missed the target - a petrified rogue. She still ate a fistful of gravel, so it wasn’t all that bad. I had a laugh.

My chuckle lasted only for a moment though. The adventurer’s leader - princess Agnes - shown a sudden expression of understanding, seeing that the abomination repeated this violent behavior and gouging a few more holes in the ground.

This, in turn, made me grind my teeth in anger. Yeah, sure, you came to my place, made a mess and tried to steal my treasures… and now you’re not even hiding that you had caught on how to kill my monster!

I knew it was an irrational feeling.

I knew that the dungeon cores were treated as soulless beasts. They were soulless beasts. I was different, however! As an intelligent being, there was always a hard limit on how much shit I was able to swallow. And because of that, I wanted to scream out my rage to the world.

Even more so because the people who were a source of this hatred were right here - in my dungeon - trampling on all that I had built!

I was considering drastic measures.

I was seriously considering…

I was…

I...

What was I thinking?

I don’t remember.

My unease was dispelled for a bit when I saw Jonathan moving again. This time he learned from the earlier failures. He swung his weapon horizontally, forcing the advancing warriors to hurriedly get out of the way.

I inwardly nodded.

If he just kept fighting this way then being one-eyed didn’t matter. As an undead, he had unlimited stamina, although I was a bit worried about his now missing left part of the face. Who knew if there was some lasting, or ticking damage. Like I said before - the skin and bone looked burned, but also cauterized just like a wound that a real laser would make.

Still considering that it seemed really slow when comparing to the real thing I was hesitating to call it a laser. The light magic was ought to be nearly instantaneous from the human eye point of view. Why I was able to notice it and warn the others?!

Once again the magic of this world stumped me.

My boss monster warded off the enemies once again, but this time I saw the glint in the princess’s eyes. She had a plan.

Yikes.

At least she was down to the Charles the fire mage, tall warrior Lone Mountain, skittery thief Tinna and herself. The elf and the half-orc warrior Boulder were sitting on the ground, slowly pulling out the projectile from her body.

Wait.

Wasn’t there one more guy present? Where did he go?!

“Peter, have you finished the incantation?” She shouted in the air and suddenly a man’s presence appeared on my inner radar. Yes, my cameras were destroyed in the fighting be he shouldn’t be able to avoid my senses anyway! And yet he did!

“Yes, Princess. It’s a big target, though. I may be able to stop it for a minute at most!” He shouted back, his shrouded figure poking out of the pieces of armors scattered around the room. “Also, we have outsiders in the party.” His prickly stare focused on Tinna.

“No time! Do it!” The man in question sighed receiving a direct order.

And released his mana.

A whisper-like a shadow flew through the air towards the Jonathan position. The big oaf didn’t even notice as it curled near his feet. I wanted to scream, to warn him…

It was however too late.

“Steal Shadow!” The mage chanted and suddenly my knight had found himself stopped in the middle of the swing. He looked like a golfer preparing a wide shot.

I would laugh if the odds weren’t so stacked against me. Immobilization magic? Really?

“Charge!” Agnes didn’t waste this time and sprung into action like a human-shaped blade.

Just behind her Lone Mountain charged ahead, while making full use of her spear. Her hits were focused on the gaps between Jonathan's black armor.

Tinna was not far behind, her daggers also searching for weak points.

Jonathan’s body trembled with each hit and I could see his seething rage as he desperately tried to get free. Something that Peter noticed immediately.

“I can keep it still for twenty seconds at the longest!” He screamed, visibly clutching his hands.

“Get back!” Red-haired Charles already finished his spell, a large ball of fire floating above the man’s head. “Greater Fireball!” He screamed at the top of his lungs while shoving the majestic sphere forward.

It flew deceptively slowly towards the abomination and after few seconds arrived at Jonathan's face. He stopped struggling seeing the unavoidable demise closing in. The powerful spell roasted his upper body, turning it into ash.

A loud explosion echoed in the room, throwing the still-living people against the walls.

It was a perfect opportunity to attack.

However, my forces on this floor were already done.

I could do no more.

I couldn’t?

Why?

There was this feeling. Like trying to find out with your tongue where a missing tooth was. Like something was supposed to be there.

This feeling.

This.

What I was talking about?

Ah, right.

Adventurers.

After the explosion they slowly stood up, flicking the dust and grime from their clothes. Some were talking, others focused on looting.

“Remember. I’m an Earth Mage, understood?” Peter was standing above Tinna, who dutifully tried to find out if my monsters had any additional items in their pockets. Too bad. No gold or potions for you!

“Yes, yes, I understand. Nobody will know.” She nodded seriously while not stopping for a moment.

“Good.” Peter suddenly lowered his head and whispered into her ears. “And nobody will know who you are, little Hawk.” His smile looked a bit cruel. For the first time, Tinna raised her head. A trace of shock was visible in her eyes.

“How did you…”

“We all have our secrets, eh?” He summoned a strange, smoky shadow to curl around the thief's legs. “And I’m sure you have quite a large amount of information I could borrow, eh?” The girl only shook her head.

“I won’t tell you a thing. Do your worst.” Her figure radiated determination.

“Tch. And here I thought the Kingdom sent a weak hunting bird. Oh well. It still works for me.” A wide smile suddenly appeared on his face. “I don’t care about your mission, be it what it may. Just remember to never cross me, little birdie.” After saying his lines the earth/shadow mage left the rogue alone.

“Bastard.” Tinna whispered under her breath, still continuing to gather useful materials.

Boulder and Eve were sitting a few meters in the back, the man using his large hands to keep the blood flow to a minimum. A human-shaped tourniquet. The elf was clenching her teeth and slowly pulling out the spear. She had to stop from moment to moment, nearly fainting from constant pain and exhaustion.

Then, with a delicate “eiiiiiiii” scream she pushed out the last piece of metal. A large sigh escaped her small lips.

“At least it was not poisoned.” Commented Boulder.

“Hmph.” She didn’t answer his words directly, focusing on the magic. Soon the wound started to close under the brilliant light of her healing spell.

“Eat.” He continued undaunted by her reaction. “The magic may heal the wound, but the blood you lost won’t regenerate so easily.” Half-orc took a piece of bread and some cheese from a backpack lying nearby. “Eat.”

“How do you know this?” Eve reached for food and started to nibble on the pieces, while her green eyes for the first time deigned to really look at her companion.

“Surviving in the slums is not all about the muscles. Or in the army. Or in the gladiator pits.” He laughed sadly. “But they help.” Like a well-oiled machine, his pectoral muscles started to move up and down. While the elf ignored him I laughed for a bit. If I remember correctly some of the bodybuilders from my world could also do this.

“I see.” The girl returned to her meal, but the atmosphere around them changed for the better.

And was immediately shattered by a loud shout from Charles.

“Hoooooooooooly shit!” He screamed his lungs out. “Come here people, right now!”

The adventuring party scrambled towards the room I grandly named the Kitchen, even if there were only inedible rocks in there. Sue me. For Jonathan, that much was enough.

The loudmouth mage was standing near my oven, playing with knobs and watching the fire rise and fall. The rest of the party looked on with their mouths hanging out.

I couldn’t understand. What was strange about my device?

The silence in the room didn’t help. That was until Agnes spoke with a slightly trembling voice.

“No magic power?”

“None.” Charles shook his head in denial and whistled loudly.

“Belle tits! This just got much more complicated.”

“What? Why?” The party thief was out of the loop, just like me.

“Technology. No magic. This means…” Peter closed his eyes in wonder. “Either a first or second Empire relic site. And this dungeon…” His greedy stare licked my walls. “This dungeon devoured it all. And it can replicate these items.”

“A Forgotten Dungeon, then?” Asked Boulder with his deep voice.

“Yup. And near the Luna and Geinard Kingdom borders. This will get ugly.”

“You mean that was why we didn’t find a clue about the Lunar expedition team?”

“We need to go back!” Charles shouted, suddenly panicked. “Our defenses aren’t prepared for an all-out assault from these green-thumbed lunatics!”

“No.” A short and decisive voice came from the princess. Her eyes were bright and full of conviction. “Not until we conquer the first floor. There should be a few more rooms. Four, maybe five at most.”

“There is usually only a limited amount of them on the first floor.” Peter agreed, still sporting a greedy expression.

“And the first group that will defeat the Floor Guardian gets a special prize.” Agnes spoke with a small smile. “Considering that this is a Forgotten Dungeon…”

The rest of her team nodded. Even Charles seemed somehow convinced.

But…

I didn’t prepare any prize?