《Of Men and Dragons, Book 1》Chapter 2
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Jack gave his ship's AI a look that did its best to convey just how fatigued he was. The coffee was quickly fading, and it wouldn't be long before he did as well.
"If you can understand her, can you tell our guest that she's welcome to stay the night? We'll figure out where to go from here in the morning." The last bit came out a bit distorted as he started to yawn halfway through the sentence. "Also, see if there's anything she'll need to get through the night? Oh, and you might want to give her a brief rundown on how the bathroom works."
Turning her attention from Jack to their new guest, Angela waved to get the woman's attention. "Hello, I am Angela. I figured it was about time for me to introduce myself. As much as we have yet to learn about each other, you and Jack seem to be at the end of your energy reserves, so we should probably call it a night for now. You are welcome to stay here, and we will talk more in the morning. The couch and floor are both open to you, and if you need anything else, just say my name, and I will hear you." She was quite friendly for a tiny person, even if her speech was a little overly simplistic in nature.
That was when the realization that she could understand what the woman was saying, which meant... "Wait, you were able to understand me this whole time? You've just been listening to me ramble on while I thought you were just being polite? That's, that's…"
Angela made calming motions before addressing the woman's concerns. "No, it is not what you think. At first, I didn't understand you any better than you understood us. However, as you spoke, I listened and learned. The more we speak, the more I will learn. I am still having trouble with your contractions. The odd clicking noise you make in the middle seems to change from one use to the next. Also, I'm still working out how to tell the difference between the names of people versus places, but I am sure I will have down better sometime tomorrow." The little blue woman seemed almost gleeful as she picked apart the more delicate parts of this new puzzle.
S'haar's eyes narrowed, and her head tilted to the side as she thought. The tiny woman learned as S'haar spoke? This quickly? That makes no sense. Then again, nothing about this situation was making any sense. Maybe she'd died on the stake outside. Perhaps what she was experiencing was some cruel joke the gods were having at her expense as punishment for her many blasphemies, though she doubted that. The gods never noticed her while she lived. Why would they start caring about her after she'd died? Maybe this was all some weird fever dream, and she was asleep in her bed… the bed she'd lost when she got kicked out of the guard… Well, that didn't seem likely either...
In the end, S'haar supposed it didn't matter. Whether it made sense or not, this insanity was her life at the moment, and the sooner she accepted that fact, the sooner she could move on. Whether this was all a dream or madness, at least it was interesting.
Realizing both hosts were still looking at her expectantly, S'haar visibly shook herself out of her thoughts. She'd been sitting and thinking long enough. By now, they were probably wondering if she slept sitting up with her eyes open. "The floor is fine. Will it get much colder in here after your…" she looked around, just accepting that what she said next would sound stupid, "apparently invisible fire goes out? If so, I'll need more blankets and maybe some heated stones," she finished lamely. This was embarrassing.
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Angela beamed at S'haar, eager to brag about herself, as always. "I'm happy to report it will stay nice and warm all night long."
She seemed to be working herself up to a new monologue when Jack interrupted her, saying something while holding his hand out toward S'haar. "Jack would like to wish you a good night, and then told me not to talk you into a coma…" she trailed off.
S'haar held her hand out in a similar manner to Jack. He slowly took hold of her hand and shook it up then down twice before smiling and walking away.
Angela began speaking in her overly simplistic but excitable manner. "That is called a handshake. It is customary among humans to use it in greeting and in saying goodbye. It denotes..."
Jack looked back and cut her off by saying something unintelligible. "Apparently, Jack thinks I should 'not get started again’," Angela huffed before returning to her usual eager and excitable demeanor. "I guess that means I should say good night! We'll speak more in the morning."
With that, Jack walked into a room and shut the door, and Angela simply faded out. Shortly after that, the lights dimmed on their own. Looking around the now gloomier room, S'haar muttered to herself, "One more strange magic among many, I guess..."
She was wondering exactly when this all would begin to drive her mad or start making sense. At this point, she no longer cared which came first. As she laid down, her mind began to race. In all the chaos and confusion, she'd forgotten that she was still homeless and winter was upon her. Maybe she could offer her services to these two strange people in return for a spot on the floor? For all their magic, they were both small and frail. She could offer them protection, and even food, if they needed it.
Then again, they had pulled food from out of that storage box as if it had meant nothing. Maybe they already had large stores set aside for the winter. And what need had they of protection when the very walls of their home were made of iron? S'haar didn't know what to think of Jack. He had more wealth and power than any lord she'd ever heard of, but in other areas, he seemed so… deficient.
In a physical comparison, he actually made B'arthon look like a prime specimen of an argu'n male. Jack didn't even have proper head ridges to denote his strength and virility. Not that the head ridges of the men back in the village had ever impressed her, but Jack was just so pathetic in so many ways. He looked sickly, like a stiff breeze would send him flying.
The thought of asking another male that was so much weaker than herself for help galled S'haar every bit as much as it had back in the village. She spent the night tossing and turning as she tried to figure a way out of the mess she now found herself in.
-
Jack couldn't sleep. He was tossing and turning, trying to find a way out of the mess he now found himself in. The familiar blue glow that appeared in the corner of his quarters didn't help any. Neither would the smarmy question that would undoubtedly soon come from it.
Angela tilted her head to the side as if considering how best to broach a sensitive subject. "You seem to be having trouble getting to sleep. Would a glass of warm milk help?"
As he sat up, Jack directed his best imitating glare at the tiny blue woman. However, the effect was significantly diminished because he was also squinting from the sudden light source.
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Angela ignored the glare directed at her. Instead, she seemed to be distracted by a new and unexpected puzzle. "We've been on this planet for a couple of days now, and you've been sleeping just fine. What could have possibly changed?"
Jack gave up on the idea that the AI would leave him in peace or that sleep would suddenly find him. Instead, he threw off the blankets and sat up, rubbing his face and running a hand through his unkempt hair. He was sure she could make his problems go away and chose not to out of spite.
Holding up four fingers, Jack started counting them down, his first finger falling as he spoke. "Well, let's see here. First, I've Robinson Crusoed myself on a planet where the average native height seems to be seven feet tall."
Angela grinned impishly. "That's just the one woman we’ve met, sir. Based on preliminary scans during the crash, I'm guessing the men average closer to eight feet."
Jack didn't bat an eye as he dropped another finger and continued his count. "Even better. Second, my ship is currently buried inside a mountain, and every attempt to dig it out just brings more of the mountain down on top of us."
Angela interrupted him again, enjoying this new game. "To be fair, I did tell you to pull up as we were crashing."
Jack's index finger fell as he addressed the third issue. "My ship's AI thinks she's far cuter than she actually is."
Despite floating in the air, Angela stomped a foot onto some kind of invisible ground. She responded with a miffed tone of voice, her head turned up and to the side. "That's not possible! We both know I'm every bit as adorable as I know I am!"
Bringing down his last finger, Jack made a fist and dropped it into his lap. "Last but not least, I now have what appears to be a seven-foot-tall goddess of death camping out on my living room floor. To make matters worse, I just offered her a good night handshake!"
He fell back into his pillow, one arm draped over his eyes as if he wished the world would just disappear. "God, I'm so lame!"
Angela allowed Jack a moment of self-pity before adding in her own two cents. "Yes, yes you are, but that's just part of your charm! Also, did I hear you call her a goddess?"
Jack chuckled under his breath at the AI's blatant attempt to distract him from ruminating on his problems by teasing him but chose to oblige her antics anyway. Maybe it was the stress, perhaps it was the sleep deprivation, or maybe Jack had gone too long without socializing, but he was starting to enjoy this new game of theirs as well.
He held up his hand once more, this time holding up all five fingers before dropping the first as he made his new arguments. "Ok, first of all, 'goddess of death' has a very different connotation than 'goddess.'"
Ready for round two, Angela joined in. "Now you're just quibbling semantics, sir."
Jack let his irritation show in both his face and tone of voice. "Second, she's an alien!"
Angela took on an old-timey school teacher's appearance, complete with a messy hair bun and glasses. She delighted in correcting semantics. "I believe in this instance, it's you who is the alien, sir."
Jack started to get overly animated, waving his hands about as he spoke. "Third, which is related to the second, for all I know, she has acid instead of blood!"
Angela looked over the rim of her glasses haughtily. "That's just an old movie, sir."
Falling back in his bed in exasperation, Jack retorted again. "Fourth, I'm not some swashbuckling captain of a starship, flying around and wooing alien women."
Angela waved him off dismissively. "Now you're thinking of an old TV series, sir."
Jack's face grew slightly more serious as he made his final point. "Fifth, what kind of self-respecting woman would be interested in a man she doesn't know, just because he offers her room and board? Also, would I want a woman like that in my life?"
Angela looked taken aback. "That's…a surprisingly perceptive and mature point. Are you feeling alright? I don't usually expect you to make that much sense." Angela looked like she was trying to figure out how to use a light projected thermometer on her biological captain.
Just as quickly as it appeared, the last of the laughter faded from Jack's eyes. "All joking aside, Angela, have you had a chance to run a proper diagnostic?"
For her part, Angela allowed her props to fade while her temperament became uncharacteristically serious. "The good news is there is no immediate danger to us or the countryside." She noticed that Jack seemed both relieved to hear that and nervous about what was about to follow. "However, with the better part of a mountain sitting on top of us, and the damage we sustained in the crash, long-distance communications will be impossible."
Jack looked a bit down at that, but Angela wasn't done yet. "Additionally, when we first crashed, there was significant radiation leakage coming from the core. Under normal circumstances, I'd shunt the radiation into space while we performed emergency repairs. However, our confinement made that impossible. Instead, I sealed the compartment and completely shut it down. It'll take a few days to scrub the radiation clean, but the big problem is…" she trailed off.
Jack may not have been an AI with full access to ship systems, but he could see the writing on the wall. Maybe things weren't as bad as he feared, but they were bad enough. "The bad news is that even if we can repair the damage, we're going to have to do a cold start. And we don't have the kind of power a shipyard usually has available to make that happen. Is there any other way to jumpstart the reactor?"
Angela managed to somehow look both apologetic and mischievous at the same time. "Not unless you have a couple of nuclear warheads stored away in your nightstand?"
Jack started looking at the problem as if it was a game, rather than a life or death situation. He always enjoyed a good puzzle. That's why he was out here to begin with. Well, that and to get away from…things best not thought about. "Ok, so, from the sound of things, we're not getting off this planet under our own power any time soon. So the order of the day is to survive for an indefinite amount of time until rescue arrives, or by some miracle, we can find a way to repair the ship. That could take a while."
Angela began a familiar lecture, admonishing him once again. "I've always told you that you should be less of a loner. Your habit of going on these excursions with little to no communication means it could be a year or two before anyone even notices you're late reporting in."
She switched from lecture mode to analytical mode without a pause. "By that time, any evidence of our fate will be long gone, and without a long-distance signal of some kind, no one will even think to look for us under this mountain."
Jack started putting together a plan of action and a corresponding timetable for their immediate future. "Digging the ship out without heavy-duty machinery is out of the picture, so what about building a new transmitter outside the cave, maybe linking it up to the ship to bypass energy and programming requirements. Speaking of energy, without our core, how long will our energy supplies last?"
Angela did a quick assessment and calculation, looking like she was lost in thought as she did so. "Well, the good news is that a ship at rest consumes a lot less energy than one moving through space. Based on this planet's orbit and the corresponding seasons, we should be able to just make it through the winter. After that, things will get tight."
Jack was scratching his short beard in thought. "What about alternate power sources? Solar, wind, even thermal energy would do to keep us up and running for quite some time. We're already building a transmitter; why not expand a bit more? What kind of minerals and other materials are readily accessible to us?"
Angela started to perk up as possible solutions presented themselves. "I've scanned trace amounts of copper, silver, and even gold in the area, so electronics shouldn't be an issue. You'll have to do some significant work to get at them and then refine them. Luckily, with some of the basic crafting we can do on the ship, it's all doable. It'll be just like one of those survival games you like to play when we're traveling between stars!"
Jack didn't look as happy at the prospect as Angela seemed to be. "You know I die in those games, right? Like, a lot?"
Angela waved away his concerns with a flip of the wrist. "Oh, come now, we'll be better prepared and not restricted by the mechanics those games use to make each step artificially harder than the last. I mean, honestly, what are the odds that there will be some gigantic monster in the center of the planet waiting for you to come down and do battle with it?"
Jack ignored the obvious hyperbole. As he laid back, Jack took in the enormity of what lay ahead. "This is an almost unimaginable set of tasks we're setting for ourselves. Also, taking into account things like food and other necessities, there's no way we're going to do this all on our own."
Angela looked quite pleased with herself. "Lucky for you, I just happen to know a seven-foot-tall goddess of death who is currently between jobs. Why not make her an offer? Worst case scenario, she says no, and you're no worse off than before."
A bit of laughter appeared back in Jack's tired eyes as he prodded his AI one last time. "And if she says no, do you have another contestant behind curtain number two?"
The AI answered with a surprising amount of affection in her voice. "That's another old TV show, now get some sleep. You've got a big day ahead of you." The last was unheard, as Jack had already passed out.
Angela's avatar faded, but the AI continued to watch silently. Her human was finally starting to pull himself together again. Maybe being stranded on an alien planet and being forced to make life and death decisions was just what he needed. Despite their current problems, things were starting to look up.
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