There’s a serenity in oblivion that cannot be found elsewhere. Even in desolation, something exists, and comfort has plenty to enjoy… it can give you satisfaction, happiness, and a measure of peace… but nothing compares with the feeling of the void. It’s cold, but I don’t care.

The darkness shifts around me, seemingly reacting to my newfound awareness. It flows like a liquid, but doesn’t suffocate me. It’s insubstantial, but ubiquitous… eternal.

With nothing else to cloud my thoughts, I’m haunted by a question: why do I continue to fight? Not just combat, but participating in the struggle to survive. Every day that passes here, I feel the weight of responsibility weigh more and more heavily on my shoulders. Each time I succeed, the weight grows with the expectations and reliance of others, and each failure costs more than the last time. When you carry so substantial a weight, failure becomes more influential… more terrible.

And I feel that… my weight has finally broken me.

It wasn’t any one thing… it wasn’t just Rav, or feeling guilty about not really returning Lauren’s feelings, or not figuring out how Nate was abusing everyone sooner… but together, they add up. A treaty with monsters? Shaky, ready to fall at any time. When it does, I’ll be at fault. I’ll be expected to mend the wounds. We turned away a group of survivors on my judgement. Yes, Lynn was there, and felt similarly, but I made the call. I pushed her into power. I resolved the quest.

Now, even my life isn’t my own. If I die, Cerberus and Kaythe come with me. If I die, the treaty falls apart, and humanity loses a great ally in exchange for a furious enemy.

Then… if that wasn’t enough, I’m one of humanity’s only chances at winning this thing. Not in a “I’m the best, I can’t lose, blah blah” kind of way, but because I can’t honestly say humans are better fighters, tacticians, magic users, or really better anything than all these other species that likely tried the same thing we are. The ones who came closest were likely the Energy users like my mentor, but they were caught unaware… eliminated before they could be a threat. I don’t know why that dark administrator hasn’t come down and smote me yet, but I think it’s because it can’t. So, I have to use that terrible power locked away within my mentor’s tower… and tear everything down. Would the other Energy users even know to seek that power if I died?

Probably not.

But, being dragged onward by responsibility is no great motivator. I resent the responsibility more than anything. It felt good to be relied on for once. It made me feel powerful. Needed. It’s just… the novelty wears of, and what replaces it is bitterness.

I feel a sensation nagging me: softness and warmth emanating from far overhead. I know I have a choice of which way to float, and while the above promises happiness and satisfaction… below promises freedom. My burden lies beside me, and to rise I must shoulder it again. I hate that burden.

*Pop*

“It’s been a while.” The gray mannequin stands before my on a familiar platform.

“Put me back. I need to choose.”

“You do, yes.”

I wait for a moment, hoping to simply appear back in the comforting darkness, but nothing happens. I take one step toward the edge.

“I remember not so long ago having to convince you to jump, and now you would readily go back?”

“It… hurts.”

“And you want to escape that hurt?”

“...Badly.” Another step.

“It was easier for you when you could see the path. When you know where you’re going, the sense of purpose a path elicits is all one needs to walk. Now you cannot see. You do not know.”

“It comes back out.” Step.

“One does, yes. Already you have passed many crossroads, forks, and ravines. At certain junctures you chose correctly, some not. At some obstacles, you destroyed them, and others you found your own way. You are wandering in the dark, but you are far from lost.”

Step.

“Will you follow the path I have set for you, or commit yourself to the darkness?”

With a final step, I stand with my toes curled over the edge of the sheer platform. I feel strangely empty. I notice something odd on my arm and lift it, only to find that a small amount of wispy shadow bleeds off my body. Constantly.

“All the paths end in death… except the one you planned.”

“All of them.”

I try to move my Energy, but it doesn’t care in here. It’s like before the system where when it was weakened, it simply had no presence instead of being barely noticeable. Darkness bleeds off faster during my attempts.

“I…” But I trail off, unsure of what I want to say. I could agree so easily. What’s one more step? The burden of a journey is never in a single step, but in the totality of the whole thing. I could pick up the burden again, but it will be less time till I have to set it down again… and less…

“You only get to give up once. You haven’t been killed yet because the other administrator knows you’ll fail.”

A faint smile crosses my lips. “You’re goading me. Playing to my competitive spirit.”

It cocks its head slightly. “Perhaps. But… perhaps I can offer a reprieve. Just as poor decisions will come to haunt you, good ones bring returns.” It waves its hand and Kaythe appears. My heart jolts, pained, but he wiggles just like before… always excited to see me. He crawls over to me, wrapping around my leg once in affection, before going straight over the edge.

I instinctively grab after him, but end up punching something solid instead: a path. Small, not very wide, but a path.

I look back to the administrator, confused, only to see Cerberus… and Lauren. Cerberus stalks towards me, baring his teeth. As he gets closer, he drops the aggression, instead giving my a long, hard look… and presenting his head for me to pat. He vanishes, and the path leading away from the platform grows. “Why are you doing this?” I look back to see Lauren give me a half smile.

“Sometimes a new perspective does more to help than anything else.” Lauren walks up, clasps my hand in hers, and walks vanishes.

“You’re brutal.” I turn back, tears blurring my vision, and another face swims into view. “...Lethin?”

Her fist connects with my head, slamming me onto the newly created path and making my skull throb with pain. I hear footsteps closing in as I struggle to push myself to my feet. A knee in my back forces me back down.

“You may not be a monster, but you’re damn close. I’ll kill you in a heartbeat if you hurt my son.” She hisses in my ear. The steps move on ahead before also vanishing.

“Ok, mostly good choices. She would have been more useful alive.”

“*cough* Couldn’t… save her.”

“You did something, and now she can see her son again. This is likely all that kept you from losing yourself entirely.”

Pain lances through my face and spine, and I manage only a groan in reply.

“Remember, you can rely on others to guide your steps. Lethin even pushed you in the right direction already.”

“Fuck… y-”

*Pop*

“-alive, just exhausted. Cease at once.”

I raise my head slightly. “Amadeus!”

Slowly, my eyes rove over to where Lauren and Cerberus are actively struggling against vines, and there’s no shortage of destruction around them. Many of the vines around Lauren are smoldering, while Cerberus’ destructive fur steadily wears away at even the magically enhanced vines.

“...Hey… what did I m-” That’s all I manage before a massive wave of nausea hits me and I throw up on the ground.