It was a fight for survival. Reckless, unorganized, and unending. Every time I thought it was the end, that there wasn’t enough of my Energy left to fight, a little more appeared. And a little more. Dimly, I’m aware that I probably have the maximum Energy regeneration due to the blast not actually dealing any Health damage to me. It’s making the difference, slowly but surely. When the battle first joined, my body was much more corrupt than Tom’s. I’d been able to scoop some off him, he’d used his natural defences to fight some of it off himself… I had no such benefits. I went in with a quarter of my pool, and I was hopelessly outmatched. But… I had reinforcements, and the darkness was finite. Ultimately, these battles are to see who is left standing. Which Energy is able to totally overwhelm the other and seize control. As long as I remain, the Energy produced here is mine.

...It hurts. It hurts so much. Even within my Energetic view, the pain of the corruption in my body rings clearly. At first, it drove me to fight like a madman. Throw everything I had in desperate gambles to surround and corner chunks of the encroaching Energy so I could destroy it all without losing too much ground. All I had to do was hold out, and eventually I would win…

But the pain only grew. The torture continued, and so much of my body lay unseeable for me. Areas that could be packed with darkness or entirely empty, but the unending torrent that rushed to consume me held promises of nothing but agony. It has slowly eroded my will, to the point where now… I feel cold, scared… and alone.

I feel a touch. The first sensation that isn’t pain. The warmth… is familiar… yes, it’s her, isn’t it.

I don’t want to fight anymore.

But… I want to leave the others behind even less.

My battle rages on. My Energy… my soul, my will, my life... disperses more rapidly than it forms. I’m losing… but I cannot lose… I will not lose.

I cannot muster the same confidence or rage… things that would usually bolster me.

It hurts.

I want to give up. Please don’t let me…

Another familiar presence. More familiar. My closest friend. Kaythe. Knowing he’s here is a comfort, but he surprises me beyond words when Energy of his own flows into me. Not much… but enough.

The relief of victory is so great that I cannot resist unconsciousness. Never in my life have I needed sleep more.

---

[A profound effort of Will and sacrifice detected. +2 Will. Why do you risk yourself so? Deep understanding of the nature of Energy production gained. Energy accumulation rate increased by half. You will destroy yourself and those who rely on you. Energetic Attack +2. You are a fool. Energy Manipulation +1] [Domination Milestone achieved! 50% domination reached.]

My eyes open reluctantly. The darkness of The barrows surrounds me. I move to sit up, evoking a horrible pain in my head. “Water…” I whisper, uncertain if anyone is around to hear it. The pressure of leather answers my question quickly. I grab the waterskin and drink deeply. The water tastes terrible, but I don’t care in the slightest. “Thanks…” I turn to look at who was kind enough to attend me. “-Lauren?”

-”Morning, idiot. Don’t act so surprised. I brought Kaythe here too… glad I did. You were looking pretty bad there for a while. You got a lot better with it around.”

“Y...yeah. He really helped…” To Kaythe: “Thank you, Kaythe. I owe you yet again.” Turning back to Lauren, I continue: “Did you sleep at all?”

-”Yeah. I only just got here.”

*click* (liar)

-”I wasn’t talking to you.”

I chuckle slightly, before the pounding in my head returns from the minor shaking. Wincing, with my head in my hands, I manage: “Don’t worry, he was just… corroborating your story.”

-”I thought I told you not to lie to me anymore.” She replies, mirth evident in her tone. -”If you’re ok enough to make jokes, I don’t have to worry anymore.”

“Aww, you worried about me? How sweet... Oh, did you make sure that Shade screamed for me?”

She starts to smile before it freezes on her face, melting away. -”Yeah… yeah I did.” Her voice dropped to almost a whisper.

Ignoring the throbbing in my head, I move to sit by her. “What’s wrong? Who was that thing?” I fucking knew that voice was familiar.

-”Shaye.”

Oh. Oh no. Christ I… didn’t know anything about her, but Lauren actually did.

“It’s ok, Lauren.”

-”No… No it’s not fucking ok. I did it again, Anthony, I fucking killed a human. Shit, I knew her. She was the medic before you showed up. She didn’t know much, but she made people a little happier… and I… I…” She chokes up and stops speaking, head turned away from me.

“It’s ok that it hurts you. It’s ok that you feel shitty and guilty. Lauren, listen to me, that’s a very healthy way to feel. I’m not going to tell you it’s not your fault. You saved us, and you bear the weight of that… and I’m so sorry you have to. But… you’re not falling backwards, ok? You aren’t turning back into that person you were. That person wouldn’t be sad about the fallen, or worried about me. Give yourself time.”

Lauren shudders slightly, her words only whispers. -”I… her face, Anthony… it was so human… so scared. What if she could have been saved?”

“We didn’t know. We didn’t even know she was still… alive, if you could call it that. Next time we’ll be ready. There are two more who could still be out there, and- Lauren, listen to me- we will not fail them. Ok?”

She nods too hard, trying to cover up her pain.

I carefully move my arm around her shoulders, and for a moment, she sinks into me. Then something changes. I end up on the stone floor, my head aching like crazy from the sudden movement.

-”I can’t, ok? I just… Nate is… I can’t.” She ran.

I watched, almost in a daze. Nate? What did he d-... Nate.

Alright motherfucker.

---

My gait is still unsteady as I stumble outside. My head throbs with every step, but this is important. The sun nearly blinds me, but I struggle past it, searching. There. He’s off on a nearby hill, standing around as if appreciating the scenery. Better enjoy it, asshole, I’m here to ruin your day.

This is nothing compared with what I dealt with last night. Nothing at all.

“What did you do to her.” I do my best to cover how much it hurts just to be alive.

~”Ah, Anthony. Good to see you in good health.”

“Answer me.”

~”Who, Shaye? She had to be kil-”

“Don’t fuck with me.”

~”Don’t use that tone with me, Anthony. Speak civilly or not at all.”

“What. Did you do. To Lauren.”

~”Ah, did she rebuke your advances? I did warn you she was quite prickly.”

“I haven’t been making advances, I’ve been trying to help someone who was badly hurt. Slowly losing her mind in her isolation. I was trying to help her be who she wants to be.”

~”I am also, in fact, trying to help her. With me, she will become that which is her sole desire: to be the strongest. Unmatched in bloodlust and deadliness.”

“She doesn’t want that. You’d know if you ever fucking asked her. You want that. Like a mad dog, you want her on a leash. Your leash.”

~”Just because we want the same thing doesn’t mean she doesn’t follow me of her own free will.”

“Oh really? Than order her to speak her mind about you, disregarding all previous orders. Do it in front of me, here and now. We’ll get her together. If it’s as you say, you have nothing to fear, and I will either fall in line or leave, whichever is your choice.”

~”Lovely. Lauren?” She materializes next to me, her blank expression chiseled from stone.

---

~”Lauren, how do you feel about me?”

-”Nate… Is a kind… and benevolent… leader.” She hated saying it. She wanted desperately to bite her tongue, to spit, to twitch… anything so that Anthony would realize something was wrong. She couldn’t let him fall prey to Nate as well. ‘Go!’ she wanted to say, ‘Run while you can still control your own mind! Leave us to a fate we all asked for.’ Instead, she only held perfectly still. The picture of a disciplined warrior, but with a war between two powers raging in her heart. She hated it.

~”There, you see? Right from her mouth. Now, you said something about falling into line?”

“‘Disregarding all other orders’. Say it.”

~”Anthony, tsk tsk. I do believe you misunderstand your place. I give the commands here. Kneel.” Her knees lost all strength and she fell immediately to her knees. ‘Damnit… DAMNIT. It’s too late now… too late for any of us…’

“Fuck you, you worthless piece of filth.”

She hadn’t seen. She had been staring at the ground. It seemed like the most important thing in the world that she kneel. She couldn’t disappoint Nate, but she also felt like she was disappointing herself. Who would she ever kneel to?

Anthony was no longer where he had stood. She heard a meaty *thwack*, and looked up in time to see Nate fall to the ground, blood running from his face. Had Anthony even flinched? That command was strong enough to affect her, and she knew it hadn’t been intended for her... What… what was this guy?

Nate sputtered in disbelief, spitting blood as he tried to haul himself to his feet. ~”How…? Very well. You try to rise above your station. You have for quite some time. I have no further need of an untamed ruffian such as yourself… Lauren, my dear?”

Her head perked up, unbidden.

~”It is clear you care for Lauren, child, and that will make it all the more poetic when she slits your throat.”

No.

Nate turned to her.

~”Kill him.”

No. She rose. Do not do this. She moved to him, where he towered over Nate. Please. Her hand raised, and she saw… “We’re not going to do this again, are we?” -the most confident smile she’d ever seen, plastered across his face. Why? Did he have so much faith in her? Did he think she would resist this? She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She wanted to kill him so much, it physically hurt her. But some part of her rebelled so strongly, that she could slow herself. But not stop. It was far more than… than…

‘Kill… him.’ Could that be…?

It was over in a flash. His blood ran freely over hands that did not shake. She felt something click. A path, chosen. A life, locked into place. The look in his eyes… the shock, the raw betrayal, the mouth moving soundlessly as it tried to speak…

She had killed before, and she knew she would kill again, but never before had the act felt this good. She spit on his corpse. A righteous burial for a righteous man. Nobody deserved it more than Nate.

Anthony fell to his knees, then all fours, laughing. She wiped her blade on the man’s clothes and sauntered back over to him, extending a hand. He looked up at her approach, a manic smile on his face. “I don’t have the fucking nerves for this.”

-”You’re insane, you know that? That was so close. So close. If he had been slightly less careless, that would be you, and I’d be a puppet forever. What if he had told me to ‘never harm him’? Huh? What if he said: ‘kill Anthony’? You’re mad.”

“Yeah… to be fair, I’d probably have survived it if you tried to kill me. All wouldn’t have been lost… plus, I know guys like him. He was absolutely sure you would never even want to hurt him. Sure showed him.”

It struck her as strange to feel so relaxed… even giddy, about killing someone when she had been bothered so much before… but Nate was a vile man and deserved death. As an afterthought, she moved to kick Nate’s corpse to the bottom of the hill where no one could easily see the corpse. Let the Carnines have a snack. He was a son of a bitch, only fair if he goes back to them.

-”Let’s go back. You need rest, and I need a bath.”

“Help me limp?”

She laughed, more freely than she had in a really long time.

-”Come here, cripple.”