《Gateway》Chapter 3 - The Endless Void is... Endless
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Chapter 3 - The Endless Void is... Endless.
You have been slain by a Tutorial Hordeling Spawn (Copper I).
Would you like to revive? Y/N
The endless void stretched out... endlessly. Ugh, no... this is why I became an archaeologist, not a writer, Søren mused to himself as he contemplated the empty void around him after his second death. The pain had been indescribable. Even now, without an actual body, he could recall how it felt. The parting of flesh, crushed bones, and the blinding pain that followed a brief moment of disbelief weren't the worst parts of the experience. It was the chewing sounds that had bothered him the most. Knowing what it felt like, what it sounded like to be eaten alive was definitely not something that he had ever considered putting on a bucket list. Søren shook himself out of that macabre train of thought with the mental equivalent of a dog shedding water and instead imagined himself pacing back and forth in front of the glowing blue window floating in front of him. He often paced when thinking and figured it might help here as well.
Ok. Let's sort this out, Søren thought, mentally creating a checklist.
1. Somehow I'm stuck in an advanced VRcade full immersion pod.
2. I could be dead and there really is an afterlife. This is my interpretation of it.
3. Maybe not dead, maybe a coma? These are my dreams.
4. I've been kidnapped by aliens and shoved into a virtual simulation to discover the secrets of the human race.
5. I really am dying and being reborn / recreated. Certainly feels like it.
Søren's mental image of himself continued to pace in front of the floating blue window.
So, of the possibilities I've come up with... the first is most likely, but why me? Wrong place, wrong time? Regardless, I need to finish the Tutorial and get more information. There's not enough to go on right now. Søren laughed inside his head remembering jumping up and down on the table and squashing one of the bugs. As amusing as that was, it wasn't as effective as it needs to be. The electrical cable and stabbing the stunned hordeling works well for the first one. Perhaps I could flip the table over the other way hope one gets impaled by a leg. That still leaves the third to deal with. Hmmm. Fuck. Maybe jumping on the table is the best solution for the second one. It did leave the third one wounded too.
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Søren tried to mentally close his eyes for a moment, but the floating blue window reminding him that he was dead and waiting to revive, continued to float in front of him. Augh, just get out of my face! he shouted mentally. To his surprise, the box went away. Oh, nice. Wait... shit. Shit shit shit come back! The window reappeared, still asking him if he wanted to revive. If that can be made to disappear and come back... Søren concentrated on the status window that had appeared in the top left corner as well as the chat box. Whether it was the program or simulation or his dreams, it obliged Søren's request and brought the two UI elements back into view.
This could be interesting. Søren turned towards the chat log, ignoring the copper icon and mostly empty status bars. The dark steel bar still had a tiny sliver of bright steel at the far left. With his attention completely devoted to the chat log, a second tab appeared with the title of Combat. I'll check that one out next. I'm more curious what information is included in the chat log first. He tried to reach out mentally with a mouse pointer and scrolled the chat back to the beginning. A mild version of the same pain he felt when trying to recall why he had been going to Iceland began to build up in his mind. With a mental grimace, Søren pushed through the pain and watched as the chat log rolled back to the beginning.
Server > Initializing...
Server > Loading parameters...
ERROR > Incoming traveler protocols using incompatible data structure
ERROR > Incoming traveler status terminal
ERROR > Rerouting to emergency resurrection vault
Server > Emergency revivification protocol enacted in accordance with the Sentient Being Preservation Act of 4772, paragraph 4, subsection C.2
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Server > Initializing...
Server > Loading parameters...
Message of the Day > Due to widespread data corruption, Travelers will not be permitted to egress from Gateway until further notice. We are sorry for the inconvenience and have added a substantial credit bonus into each active account for each day services are suspended. Have a good day and we hope you enjoy your stay!
Server > Loading tutorial parameters...
ERROR > Tutorial parameters incompatible with status of the testing chamber
ERROR > Rerouting to nearest testing vault
ERROR > No valid destinations available
ERROR > Rewriting tutorial parameters
Server > Loading tutorial parameters...
Søren > Fuck me, what happened?
Guide > Ah, you're awake. Welcome to Gateway traveler!
Guide > Your arrival was quite the catastrophic failure, but fortunately for you, the best nanites medtech could sell you were available to resurrect and restore what remained of your body and mind. Even more fortunate, you could afford them.
Søren > Who are you? Where are you?
Guide > I am your Guide and will assist with your integration into Gateway. Unfortunately due to extenuating circumstances, you will be unable to customize your stay with us. In the meantime, let us proceed with the Tutorial!
Guide > In just a few moments, an encounter with a hordeling will begin. Your performance will be assessed in order to determine suitable Paths from which you can choose upon completion of the Tutorial.
Søren stared at the chat log, his attention focused on the terminal status of the traveler and the diversion to an emergency resurrection vault.
What the fuck.
Impressive. The Traveler has begun to master the interface, an ability denied to the survivors after the Merge. We will monitor his progress with great interest.
I̴̞̺̺̟̓̅͌ẗ̴͓́̾͝ ̵̢̖͆͜ḯ̶̬s̶̫̪̹̀̈́̕ ̸̧̪͓͛̒̀͜i̶̮̋̏̈́͝m̷̟̺͕̒̔̾̕p̸̧̐r̷̋̃͛͜è̷͙͌̂ṡ̴̳ş̵̮͙̀͐̈́̍ȉ̸̢̙v̷̭͐e̵̱͎͚̾,̵̝̖͉̦̑ ̵̭̺̦̅̔Ẇ̴̡ę̵̘̟͆́̆͝ ̷͈̩͚̈́̇g̷̢̧̥͍̈́̌i̷͚͍̳͒v̵̼͇̀͑e̷̖̼͙̗͆̕ ̸̢̤̜́̏͜ẏ̴̢̻̹ó̸͙̥͖̫̉̌̚u̴̼̞͎̽͂ ̸̙͓͓̑t̴̤̫͠͝h̶̤̀ả̷̳̬̺̣t̷͓̍͒.̴̻̭͗̍̈́ ̷̟͙̈͛̑̀W̸͇̹͛ê̷̳̠͑͜ ̶̫̮͘͘͝ṕ̴̲̀͗̀r̶̨̫̾́̀e̴͚̼̮͂ͅd̴̹̬̙̿ì̸̢̝̀̈́c̸͖̼͚̆̇̀t̶̨̺͉̀̐ ̸̪͕͂̃̄ḧ̵͕́͋͘͝ḛ̴͗́ ̴͔̖̏͜w̷̢̜͔̐͝i̷̘̺̽́͘ḽ̷͛̂͘l̸̞̰͚͒̈̒ ̴̧̙̔̈́̒͝j̷̧̠͔̈́̿̚o̸͇̦̐i̸̩̜̎̍̑n̴̟̉̏ ̸̮͈͊͜t̵̘̗̘͆͑͛̾ͅḧ̴̩̠̩́̄̀e̸̹̊̈́͠ ̵͓̬͍̯̃s̷̖̲̻̺̃̌̕̚ï̶̧͎͋̔̂d̵̪͓͎͎͌ẽ̸̪ ̷̥͒̊ȯ̷̜͆̄f̷̖̙̄ ̵̪̓̈t̶̤̪̼́̿͝h̴̩̮̓ē̸̠̗͋ ̵̢̯͊̌ͅs̵͖̏͗u̶̲̗̔̚ŗ̵̣̬̌̊ͅv̸̝̋͠i̸͚͆̀͑͛v̸̨̱̝̮̄͆̚͘ȏ̴̼̖̥r̶̖̥̭̈̓̏̿s̷̺̝̓̐͛͝ ̵̛̫͓̠͚̍͆à̴̰̹̄ͅn̸̪̄̌͐ͅḍ̴̛̥̅͆ ̴̞̪͂̓̅b̷̘̙̆͒ạ̵̘̖̹̇́̈́͒ť̶͙ţ̴͚͇͔͌̑̕l̸̢̬͙̓̊e̸̫͌͛̅͝ ̵̆ͅą̸̡͖͛g̷̦̀̓͋͑a̶̗͕̟̳͒͊͌͝ḭ̸̛̖̣̭̾̈́̕n̶̳̞̄̃̊̒s̴̞̖̆̀t̴͎͖́ ̸̧́̕ṯ̴̮̐h̷̰͗͘e̵̛̬̗̬̎̽͝ ̷͓̆̋Ç̵̫̬͍͆̏̏́o̸̡̦̣͓͂̋̾͝l̴͙͓̹̀̓͆l̸̳̭̜͛͗̽ȩ̴̙͓̱̎̽c̸̡͈̿̀ţ̶͇̲̄i̵̢̥͔̲͐́̉̾v̸̧͖̙̬͋͂̈́̈́e̴̛̼͂̑.̵̝͉̮͋
Always making the safe prediction.
Ţ̴̦̣̮͙͖̹̲̼̮͂̔͊͐́̿͂͒̄̑̄̎͒̍̓̕h̸̡̧̘̗͈̍͋̏̈̓̽̐͑̃́͛͊̿̚e̵̡̞̹̣͔͓̲̮̯͒̃͂̀͗̐̿̚̚͘͜ ̵͕͉̹̻̣̝̙̰̗͍͍̉̌̅̒̇̊͒́̉͘̚C̸̡̢̫̞̜̮̮̲̲͔̱̻̉͗͛̀̐̄̂̽̊͌̍̂̕͠h̸̡̳̪͍͈̼͓̠͇͖͍͇̣̍́̾͗͝ͅo̵̡̧̰̥̰͕̙̱̹̙̤͇̣̣̪̘̎̅͗̈́͗͂͑̔͂r̸̨̨̹̘͍̬̱̱̠͚̞͚͌̑͂̓͊̄̿̅̑͊̂̚͝͠͝u̷̢͔̬͔̼̣̰͔̖͠s̵̨̧̧̺̭̝̰̉ ̴̛̜͍͓̝̣͖̽̔̊́́̐͘̕̚͜i̷͔̦̙̯̬̻̩̞͂̿͊͂̄́̈́̒͑̚͝s̴̢̛̹̺̟̪̹͖̭̺͍̙͖̥͂̋̈́̿̆̃̆̂̇͋͒̓̈́̄ ̴̛̺̇̒̊̏̀͊̇͝͝͠ͅǘ̸̧̘͔͚͉͎̘̲ņ̴̯̥̰̪̱̞͓̮̤̼͚̮̮̬͇́̈́̌̇ͅa̶̡̛̼̰̳̼͖̦͙͙̱͓͇̝̗͎͌̀͆̋̃́́̈́̈́̍̐̓͗̀̈ͅņ̵̞͖͑̌̈̾͛̈́͗͒͐̿̅̎̕͘̚͝i̶̢̪͈̹͙̱̦̺͒͆͛͒͆̒͜m̶̡̬͙̳̺͕̩̩͕͕͕̰̙͉̩̬͝ǫ̴̨̨̛̟̘̯͔͙̤̯̟ù̶̡̢͇͖̯͓͚̈́̿͐͜ͅͅͅs̵̯͔͉̯̼̣̱̰̤̠̘͗́͝ ̷̨̠̠̙̫̬̞̞͔͓̪̫̲͇͓̍́̕͝ĩ̷͚͕̤̣͈͉͈̰̲̠̰͉̽͛̎̃̍̽͐̆͌̏̂̚̚n̷͕̫̭͔̜̤̣̣̱̜̠͉̪̳͂͆͛̀͛̐̈́̄͑͘͜͝ͅ ̸̳̮́̔̔͐͊̏̈́͘͠͠s̸̢̗̘̯͍̰͈͙̞͖̉̒̀̾̒̒̓̐̀̾̈́̐̊̕u̶̡̾͒̂̈́͆̍̈́̽̃̓̋̚̕p̵̼̜̼͍̹̪̯̾̅̌̀̊̃̕͝p̶̢̗̦͙͇̣̟͓̼̰͈̞̯͗ö̶̢͖̟̬̻̲̿̋̒̀̀͐̃̃͝͝ŗ̸̛̤̝̈́̀̊̑̈̔̀ṱ̵̡̟͖̹̫̟̤̟̺̲̐͛̽͂͋̓̿͐͠ͅ ̵̨̫̩̻̭͇̻̮̯̞͑̿̃̆o̶̡̡͓̰̰͈͖̮̰̭̱͇͋̿̀̍͐̍̐̓̉̈̍̉̐͜͝͠ͅf̵̦̟̪̘̹̳̦͙͍͓͕́͌̌̋̃̚͘͜ͅ ̴̗̪̬̻̩̮̠̟̤̣̑̀̏̾̇̍̂̿͂̓̌̔̈̚O̷̱̩͕͉̼̎͋̊͗̈́̓͊̀͌̊̓̇̃̄̊͝͝ù̵͈̰͚̭̓̃͐͛̾̀͗͌̚͠r̸̨̧̛̻̻̞̗͖̮͌̉͛̍͒̃̌͗̋̏̔͛͠ͅ ̶͔̲̭̪͗̍̎̊͌̀͛̎̐̚͘͘p̸̨̻̰͓͙̕r̵̼̳̪̜͙͇̖̦͂̒̐͋͗̊̇͌͋͊̾̈̿̔̏͝ȩ̶̭̰̹̳̱̰̱́͗̍̎d̷̠̞͖͚̙̤̅́̌̇͐̿̌͆ī̴̱͙̭̫̩̭̿̋̋̊͋̐̋͂̄̀͒͐č̸̛̞̯͈͕̯̙͔̭̫͚͈̗̠̉̈́͑͌́͜͠ͅt̸̢̡̨̡̛̛̳͙̘̖̟̳͙̲͊̎̂̾̆͂́̔̈́̓̀̿̈́͝i̵̛͇̼͇͆͗͊́̍̉̑͗̐͘o̷̥͙͝͠n̴̢̡̢̛̳͖̰̝͈͕͉͔̆̇͛̇̏́͐̃̆̃̎͑̂̆̋.̶̥͖͙̰̇͜
One day the Chorus will fall and its Corruption purged from the Archives. When that happens, We will meet once again and We will be victorious.
D̶̛̻͉̠̥̦̰̥͕͂̉̐̄̇̎̄̂̿̍͠ͅͅo̷̺̗̦̮̥͇̍̊̌̎̇̐̿̉̂̂̒̓͂̃̂͛ ̵̢̼̣͉̤̭̺̠̞̤̰͆̎͌̋̇͐̅́̈̈́͊̃̐̕̚̕n̵̳̩̹̖̿̄̀͂́̚͝ơ̷̯̟͇̓̃̅̓̓̄́͐̓̈̓ţ̶̫͍̭̞̭̥̪͎̯́̄̿̅̒͋̅̈́̋̿̑̃͝͠ ̵̢͚̖̮͈͙͇̝̤̞̦͇̪̘͓̤̃̎̓w̴̻͎̒a̷̧̻̖̲̙͖̝͖̲̥̰͍̗̦̦̼̔́͛͌̅̑͜͝v̴̙̖͚̟̪̖͉̲̉̇͗ẹ̶̛̰̠̻̣̲̲̅̍͌́̈́̐͑̎͗͗́͑̚͝͝ŗ̵̡̻̞̜̬͕̯͔̭̝̗̩̎̈́̆̒͊̈́̍̑͂̕͠ͅͅ ̶̧̨̹̟̘̼̗͍͓͚̖̜̹̩͊͐͌͂͛̑͛̈́̇͋͋͘͝͠͠f̷̧̜͍̖̂̌͐̆̎̈́͛͛̍͋͛̂͗̅̚̕͘r̶͓͓̠̻̖͛͂͒o̷͈̙͎̟̹̩̖͍͑̀̊͒͆̎̇̚̕͘͜m̷̧̨̛̺̻̜͔͇̣̼͕̫̞͕̫̤̦̐͒͗͋͑̀̚͘ ̶̨̡̨̡̤͖̩͓̭̳͈̥̋̽͗̑͜͜͠y̵̻̅̀͌͑̀͆̉̉̇͐͆̎͝͝ǒ̵̢̲̖̲̯͕̖̗͆u̵̫̍̾̄̆͆̃̚̚̚ŕ̴̡̝̞̠͈͑̆̍̑͒̆͊̈́̊͝͝͠͝ ̶̢̟̻̰̖̺̞̮̔͑̌̌͌͆̈́̉̓́͑͋ͅ Purpose ̴͕̠͙̺̠͌̑͌̐̽͒̐̌̇͝G̷̨͉͕͚̫̮͖̪̰͎̘̺̫̘̙̫̟̽̒̀͗̍͊̄͆̉̊́̀͌͝ạ̸͊m̶̨̺̲̻̄̓̎̈̀̍̄́̾̏̔̕e̷̛͍͙̬̭̗̦͓̐͌͑͑̕̕͜s̵̲̻̱̤̻̼̪̪̻͓̔͊̀̓͜ ̵̟̬̻̭͖͑͒̋̊͊́͊͆̐͘͝M̵͚͍̗̳̬͍͎͉͑̓͐̎͊̒̓̂̀͘͝a̵̧̻̬̯̫̪͈͍̗̟͍̖̮̙̞̍́͜͜s̷̨̖̃͠t̶̞͚̰̩̭̰̪̩̀̊͗̏̔͂͋̄́̀͒͆̔͂͝e̸̘̱̯̩͕̼̭̥̘͗̈̄̇r̸̯̯̳̟̳̺̂͛̾͗͛͒̈̈́͑͐.̶̛̜̗̣̜̹͚̗͎̤̼̠̫̤͙̳̝͗̐̈͊̇̆̇͐̍̾̅͝ͅ ̴̖̟̣̤̥̭͉̳̣̟͈̥̇̊̒̔̂͛͝I̷̖̟̠̠̓͌̈́̒̓͗͂͋̋̂̌̍̚̚͠͝t̵̨͗͐͂̑͗̍̀́̂̈́̓̊̾̕͝ ̷͕̌̎̇͊̓̐̈́̂͋͐̅į̴̫̫̮̬͓͚̹͓̟̝̱̞̮̘̈́̄͆̅͑̄̽͋̉͒͊̕͜s̴̛̗̻̰͕̻̮̳̩̹̥̘̊̓ ̶̧̢̛̘̮̥̳͉̳̺̳̯̞͈̬͆͗̀͂F̷͔̝͖͇̖̞͎̻̮͔̈́̓͋ǫ̴̣̬̝̜̹̣̈́͋̉̂͌̉͐͆ͅŗ̷̨̧̤͙͙̥̥̘̖͙͎͐́̓͗̓́͘͝͝b̵͚͚͎̘̙̝͚̩̥̏į̸̻̲̥̤͔̻̮͖̝̬̤̙̳͍̗́͊̓͌̆̽̀̈́̀̏͆̂̿̏͌͘͝ͅd̶̨̢̧̡̛̼̰̜̝̜̻͕̻̤̱̪̦̔͛́̾͗͑͝͝d̵̨̫̩̖̙͔̬͍͉͕͉̈́̇̕ẹ̷̝͈͍̆̀̇̒͛̀́̆̈́̔̌̂̊͗̅̃͠ņ̷̨̜̝̯̜̣̩̼̰̟͇͚̾̈́̆̿͛͑ ̵̬̤͈͉̞̀͊̆̾̅̍̋̉͑̐͘͝t̵͉̯̺͉̟̹̣̼͉̀̉̚o̷̢̬̠͎͈͔̤͘ͅ ̴͙̰̣͓̜̪͎̅͐̑̿̏̔̃͋̂̌̽̿́̚͘͜͜͜͠a̴̢̼̝̟̺͉̣͓̹̟̙͍̞̫̤̯̹͋̏̓͒̉͌̄͋̔̌͋̀͆͝s̵̛͇̬̱̞͇͍͇̟̘͚̬̭̲͉͖͆̅́̈͌͂͂͝s̶̗͙̝̞̀̌̒́̆̽͂́̇͘͝i̶͎̗̤̜͈̜̝̠̦͌̔̐̓͋̈́̎̇̇͑̓̈́s̸̞̲̦͋̑̊̕͝͝͝t̵̢̧̛̝̠̭̮͈̬̣͍̜̝̼̜͑̈̉͑̔̉̀̍͛ ̶̢̧̨̢̣̼͉͍̘̙̙̯̙̜̔̿̒͋̒̈́͐̑̒̈͗͂̓̚͝ṯ̵̣̌͛̑̌̈͋̕h̸̳̻̞̬̥̣̗̫͍̱̣̫̤̳̤̿̂͛̐̐̾̾̉̂̐̚͝ȩ̴̞̩͕̦̝̣͕̣̫͈̩̦̱̜̮̬́͆͐̓̔͘ ̶̲͇̞̭̫̣̪̰͈̯̱͉̦͉͎̅̀̑̿̀͐ͅT̴̢̨͍̦̘̖̖̫͎̪̹̪̠̝̳͍͗̎̔̏̀̾̆̽̆̽̃̀̓̕͝r̴͈̍́͛̂à̶̝͕̳͖̞̲͇̭͖̙̿͂̉͜͝v̶̢̧̡̮̝̬̰͇̥͇͈͔̓͂͗̿̅̒̽̎͂̚͠͠͝ȩ̴̳̥̯̘̦̳͍̭̎̌͘ḷ̶͚͆̇̋ĕ̷̡̬͙̖̬̫̮͔͈̈r̶̨̡̮̩͇̫̭̰̟͕͔̮͋̾͒̆̒̍̅̎̃̎͆̀̾͋̈́.̵̼̟͗
We will not forget our Purpose, just as We will not forget yours, Warmind.
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- In Serial54 Chapters
Harry Potter and The Dark Lord
The story will be a fanfic of Harry Potter.He was with him when he found the sorcerer's stone...He was there when he faced the one who must not be named...He was there when he stood among the masses as the "Boy who survived"...He was there when the "Boy who survived", joined the "One who should not be named"...He was always there in the shadows... but he was not known by the Populus. Only a few knew about him but this was also what he wanted.Story of a boy who was stronger, more talented and reliable than the famous Harry PotterP.S. No offence to J.K Rowling you are one of the best writers of the era this is just a fan-fic.Update Schedule: Tue--> Thurs--> FriYou can check out the Donate section to support me. I would very much appreciate it.
8 309 - In Serial18 Chapters
Tales of a Young God
Bai Hua, the young God of Rain, travels the world masquerading as an immortal with nothing but his shape-shifting sword. He helps a mortal woman to attain immortal-hood and goes on many adventures with her. He meets spiritual beasts and demons in his travels, makes many women sigh with longing for him. But no one knows that he is running away from something. Something the heavens had arranged. What will happen when people realize his identity? Will they worship him? Or form a kingdom with him as the emperor? What will happen when the heavens lose patience with him? Read to find out more!
8 216 - In Serial19 Chapters
Reign of the Wallenstein
Born as a child soldier in a war-torn country, Joey was destined for bloodshed. He spent half of his life on the battlefield, trying his hardest to stay alive. Unfortunately, fate has another plan for him. Joey was involved in some unfortunate accident and died without glory to his name. And yet the death he was expecting didn't come for him. Reincarnated as a boy with the same name as him, Joey Wallenstein must make sense of his new reality while trying to evade his airhead mother's attempt in suffocating him to death. What happens when MHA meets Danmachi? Let's find out, shall we? Though I'm warning you, some characters might have their age altered by the whim of the author. So it might throw you out of the loop. Expect the unexpected!
8 222 - In Serial7 Chapters
Eldest Son of the Heavenly Emperor
Tired of being confined in the Heavenly Palace for years, Taiyang Tianshang, the eldest son of the Heavenly Emperor finally escapes from the grasp of his father who wants him to compete for the Heavenly Throne with his youngest brother. Yet, Taiyang only wants to see the outside world. What will happen when the eldest son of Heavenly Emperor, who has all the power under the heavens at his fingertips, runs amok amongst the mortals? Follow Taiyang as he meets many friends, foes and jade-like beauties along his adventure.
8 178 - In Serial49 Chapters
✔️| Gilbert (K.M. Love Story)
The story of the other gilbert doppelganger; Ariana. Ariana is the blind Gilbert, what struggles will she face entering the supernatural world and more importantly, what will occur when she captures a certain hybrids attention?Rights go to LJ Smith.
8 134 - In Serial84 Chapters
The Supernormal
In a world where fantasy has become everyday, one man stands against absurdity. The local Tower stomps through the streets. Any hedge could contain a witch. Walls regularly crumble, though none more often than the fourth. In the magical city of Blackpool, all ridiculousness is possible, and it takes everything for Jack Of All Trades to survive. Badly, at that. Perpetually late with his rent, he'll take up arms for any paying customer in order to fulfill his quest. His obstacles include polka-loving ghosts, card-game playing vampires, and the most vicious monsters of all: copyright lawyers. When he's joined by an arrogant magus and an insecure vampire, his life gets even more complicated, but no matter what kind of infuriating choose-your-own-adventure he finds himself on, one constant remains—his rent is due at the end of the month. On second thoughts, maybe he should stay in bed. The Supernormal isn't your average web-novel. It's an urban fantasy parody that saunters through a world full of the absurd, delighting in poking fun at popular media, widely-accepted ideas, and often itself. Story arcs only loosely connect through the characters, who are themselves slowly fleshed out as the story continues. Think of Discworld meets The Dresden Files meets Gintama. This novel won't be for everyone, but if it is for you, you're in for a hell of a ride.
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