《Soulforged Dungeoneer》114. Highway to Hell
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Let me summarize a lot of what came next, so that we can get to the last part without too much more delay. Honestly, it either wasn't great to live through, was none of your business, or was overshadowed entirely by what came next, depending on how you look at things.
Bo willingly signed the contract, a last vestigal piece of the Devil's Rebirth Contract that Merry and I had let remain. It couldn't force anyone into anything, and it couldn't own souls or what-the-fuck-ever, but it did let me modify corpses with the owner's permission. At least, that was the idea--as far as I was concerned, it would only work with the creature's consent, whether they were humans, fairies, or Dungeon creatures. Well... I mean, we might not have been good enough at the technical details to make that rule be actually enforced, or anything, but we'd stripped away all the really nasty pieces. So... good enough.
With the Fairy Queen's influence removed, I killed Bo and took his corpse item, the Contract giving me more power over it than I was really comfortable with, but... it was what I'd wanted. I would do right by him, at least, as best I could. We didn't have the proper items to try to rebuild him at the moment, but it... felt better than walking away with things unfinished. Killing him finished my quest, and earned me a strange item called a Fairy Heart, which I gave to Merry without even checking what it was. As it turns out, it was a Dungeon construct to give a Fairy her own small power source and stats system, though as far as we could tell, it stopped short of making her a Dungeoneer. She had, for instance, no Experience bar, and no Class system. She didn't seem disappointed, since now she could exist entirely independently, if she wanted--or, you know, if she had to. For now, though, she wanted to stay with me, and... it was what I wanted, too. Just in case whatever was coming was going to be nasty.
At the same time, of course, the Administrator regained control of this part of the dungeon--or maybe she'd had control since the Fairy Queen left, and just didn't interfere. Either way, the Dungeon changed, and she pushed me forwards into the next Town almost without my consent--literally tipping the dungeon so I fell into the exit portal. Considering that there was a giant-ass hole in the wall leading to the Abyss, I suppose that's only fair.
I didn't even consider going further in the dungeon, not because I couldn't, but because I was feeling completely burnt out and just wanted to sleep with my face buried in Louise's chest and my arms wrapped around her. And... I did. We'll leave it at that.
Over the next week or so, Merry and I found some pet items and similar to rebuild Bo's body. Louise asked her god for hints, but the general impression she got was that there was no way to repair what was lost of a person's mind or soul, to whatever extent that existed, and his System was going to remain wrecked, probably forever. Since she couldn't exactly communicate with him directly, it was... difficult.
The power Bo had used had cooked his thinking parts pretty good, as we discovered when we finally finished giving him something body-like to move around in. Not so much his memory, but then, the Fairy Queen had him wrapped around her little finger, and at least in the short term, he seemed to have nothing useful to offer us in terms of intelligence about her or the System.
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Bo was, predictably, also not happy with me, personally. He was practically incoherent with rage, and as far as I could tell, he never managed to actually say what I'd done to him in front of anyone else, which suited me fine. Considering the job slot I was getting ready to apply for, people fearing me seemed a better choice than being loved or hated for engaging in meme warfare on the grand stage. I mean, I liked the Administrator of Armand Bayou's bullshit, mostly, but not everyone did.
And Bo... I mean, he had literally begged for death, and I Rickrolled him and forced him to stay alive. I wasn't sorry; as far as I was concerned, after he was reborn, he could kill himself if that's still what he wanted to do. Given how crippled he was, it wouldn't have been hard to walk into a Dungeon and take a short walk into the teeth of something big, ugly, and dangerous. I gave him a chance, and what came after was up to him.
So I just left Bo in Harry's care, hoping the Dungeoneer's Association could find something useful to learn from him later on, but we didn't have a whole lot of hope. All I really cared was that I'd done it--freed him from her control, and given him a chance to have his own life. What he did with it after that was on him.
I dedicated the next couple weeks to enjoying some time off with Merry and Louise, and got to know Louise's daughter a little more. She was nice, but kind of... stilted. Like a lot of us, she was emotionally damaged by life, which was not much surprise considering she was a single mother who had been raised by a single mother. She'd gotten tough because of it, but that came at the cost of not being able to be quite normal around family and friends.
We could all relate to that. Louise, in particular, seemed really happy that we were all getting along, and... I was, too.
Towards the end of my vacation, I met up with Jenna, and also with Michelle, and did my best to train them both a little bit. Most of the others in Jenna's group had gotten a little bit shocky about trying to use more power than they were ready for, and I could understand that... now, more than ever, really. I warned them about the dangers, but also made it clear that was far down the road unless they did something stupid. I also met up with Susie, to talk about Forge Points and the Enhancement Sage skill, but to be honest, I hadn't been exploring it, and I think she was pretty disappointed. She had been, and was eager for a more in-depth discussion than I was ready for. She gave me some feature requests to pass along, which I did. I didn't get another face-to-face with the blue-skinned Artificer from that, though, just a text box, and no immediate response.
After about three weeks, I said my goodbyes, not really knowing what was going to happen, and then... I set out. To the place where it was all supposed to end, whatever that meant. Kalamitus' Tower, Galveston Wharf Dungeon.
I could have run through the Dungeon again, but I'd been given a Kalamitus Tower Pass when I left last time, and entering the Dungeon with it brought me right back to the Dungeon God's domain, as he and his Priestess had promised. While I probably could have made it on my own, it was a long-ass way to go solo, especially considering I'd been driven through large chunks of it in a damned Humvee last time, and this time I'd be on foot. Of course, I could also have gotten an escort, and in fact I had to turn one down--the Dungeoneers in the area were on fairly high alert after the whole "a foreign mob is hiding out here and was planning to invade the country" thing, which I was mercifully insulated from, since most or all of the people who knew the central role I had in that were on our side, in prison, or dead. At least... as far as I knew.
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Anyway, if I didn't have the pass, I would more likely have taken another dip through the Fairy Dungeon than gone through Galveston Wharf directly. Again--not because I couldn't have survived it, but because it would probably have been a solid week or more of fighting constantly above my level. Even given my advanced skills and equipment, that was a long time of being very stressed out. And... well, I'd just seen what it costs you to use your Dungeoneer engine at a higher level than you can handle, which I might have to resort to if I got tired out.
And to think, before, I'd been surprised that the dungeon made me pained and irritable. My skill broke and I badly repaired it, but how could that be bad? I was strong! Ugh. The things I didn't know back then.
When I used the Tower Pass, I appeared inside the Tower itself, of course, because the area outside of it wasn't properly his. There were no Priestesses standing around waiting, but I found a bell on the desk and dinged it, then sat down. It was a good five-ten minutes later that a Priestess appeared from the Elevator, looking a little bit surprised, but she immediately came up to me and bowed.
"Mr. Applebee. I'm sorry to leave you waiting." She gestured to the elevator. "Kalamitus will see you now."
The elevator ride was the same as always, the open mesh structure seeming to teleport between floors in a single go, and I stepped out into a stone-paved courtyard with a fence, which effectively served as an antechamber for the big blue sky dragon. He was already there and waiting for me, though, with a... surprised? look on his face.
"Jerry Applebee," he said, and I was now certain, from the sound of his voice, that he hadn't been expecting me. Was I surprised? Maybe just a bit, but no more than that. "It is... I have heard of your success. I wasn't entirely sure when to expect you."
"I wasn't quite ready to stop being human," I said, with a wry twist of my voice. "But I suppose I'm ready to face the music."
"Ah, I didn't mean that. Things are going to change for me as well, you understand." The dragon moved in a little closer, and I noticed his body language was more... agitated than I'd expected. "May I... offer a single piece of advice for what comes next, Jerry?"
I felt a strange pressure, and I frowned. It wasn't exactly a pressure on me; I looked up, and the pressure only seemed to be making Kalamitus more uncomfortable.
Right, I'd specifically asked Herman to include assurances in our deal that I wouldn't be manipulated, and I'd asked for it exactly because I expected him to try to force me into something, and I wasn't even clear on what yet.
"I just want to get this over with," I said. "I have successfully delivered the Devil's declaration of war to you, completing one of my Full Clear Quests. You said you would offer me one as well. What is it?"
Kalamitus' tail thrashed a moment. He studied me, and I frowned, feeling the anxiety in the room, anxiety that should have been mine, if anyone's. Finally, with an exaggerated eye roll, the Dragon god seemed to relent.
"Fine," he said, and I was sure I detected an edge to it. "Here is my quest, if it suits you: Descend into the depths of hell and confront the Devil in his own lair."
I raised my eyebrows, as a Quest box that said exactly that appeared in front of me. "I have to go back to Pearland again?"
"Ah, no." The Dragon's lips quirked into a bit of a smile, or maybe a nervous sneer? "Dungeon Administrators must test candidates, but we Gods are on your side. It is not our role to attack you or put your life in danger. My Quest isn't a combat challenge, nor anything of the sort."
I frowned, studying the text box, but I'd already made up my mind to accept this long ago, and so I did. It vanished, as normal, and then... nothing happened.
"When you're ready," Kalamitus said, and again... was he nervous? "the elevator will take you to where you need to go."
My frown only got deeper, and I turned to look at the elevator. Whatever came next was at, what, the bottom of a God's tower? A god's tower elevator could just... take you to hell? Was this supposed to make sense?
I moved over to the elevator door, but paused and looked back at Kalamitus, over the little walls around the entrance to his floor. The big dragon was looking at me, and I looked back for a long moment.
"I wish you success," was all the Dragon said, and I got the feeling that really wasn't what he wanted to say.
So I entered the elevator, and reached for the panel of buttons--which normally only had one button available at a time--only to find that it was entirely missing. I frowned, but the doors closed behind me, and the elevator began to scroll down.
This time, it didn't warp from one stone-block room to the next. As the elevator descended through the floor, it actually went through the floor, and I found myself looking out over the abyss once more. It shouldn't have surprised me--the Fairy Dungeon entrance in Kalamitus' Tower didn't seem to be part of an actual, you know, tower, but that could have been an exception. I guess... if you have the power to make a bajillion teleporters, why not rely on those and say "screw you" to actual architecture?
I nodded to myself, letting the thoughts fade away, as I looked out over the sight I'd seen a few times, now--at isolated Dungeon blocks, at hanging bits of the Fairy dungeon, and at scattered bits of something else, what I still assumed were the "ruins" Harry had mentioned.
In a way, I realized, the quest description made sense; if I was going to become an Administrator, I had to "descend into hell" and "confront the Devil in his own lair." I had to meet the Lord Beneath, and to do that, I needed to go beneath.
I felt a sudden clutch of fear in my chest, as I realized that this must have been what Kalamitus was scared of--that he and the Beanpole would be called in before the Big Boss, the Final Destination, the One and Only. They would have to justify why I was worthy of being one of the next generation of empowered people working for him, and--in all honesty--their justifications were crap. I was young and inexperienced, was... Fool's Marked, whatever that meant. I was just some asshole, a murderer, and they had vouched for me, probably as a joke.
I don't think that's what it is, said Merry. Whatever is going on here is weird, Jay. I agree with you, Big Kay up there was going to try to manipulate you. I think... she stopped verbalizing, though I could tell she was thinking hard about it.
The elevator continued down, picking up speed, but it still seemed like it was going to take a while to get to the very bottom. It was a long way down. I frowned, noting that--for whatever reason--my Dungeoneer abilities didn't seem to have been disabled, like every other time I was in the Abyss. Was it the elevator? That suggested that in spite of what Kalamitus had said, there was some kind of combat challenge waiting for me at the bottom.
Of course, I'd prepared for that, but now, waiting alone in an elevator, all I could do was stress and hope that I'd prepared enough. Of course, if this Lord Beneath deemed me unworthy, there was no amount of preparation that could be done--assuming I understood all the hints that had been dropped, there was no amount of preparation that all of humanity could have done to save me. Whatever stupid bullshit was coming, I was in an insane amount of danger, and I knew it.
I passed some kind of invisible barrier, and I could hear a chime. Strangely enough, a notification popped up, and I realized with some confusion that it wasn't meant for me.
GLOBAL ALERT
The Trial of Dungeon God Kalamitus and Dungeon Administrator Xzyrtvwartcihz will begin soon.
All God Towers of Kalamitus will be evacuated.
All Dungeons administrated by Xzyrtvwartcihz will be evacuated.
Entry will be forbidden until the Trial is complete.
Motherfucker.
After all of this, I had to endure some massive trial put on by the two of them together? What, some kind of massive, bespoke Dungeon that I had to overcome for the Lord Beneath's sick pleasure? All things considered, it was gonna be a doozy. The Beanpole must have been trying to prepare me for it with his stupid fucking duel, and I didn't even understand. I reached out, wanting to grab the metal bars of the elevator, but a forcefield wouldn't let me get close to them. All of a sudden, I felt penned in, like this was all some cosmic joke, and I had no option to escape it.
Bro... chill out a sec.
I backed away from the wall, instead backing up to the opposite wall and leaning against it, closing my eyes and trying to re-center myself. This could have been... no, in truth, I had no idea what was coming.
Yeah, bro, hold on, I'm thinking. Merry's voice... didn't sound stressed, and I paused, mentally glancing at her, but she really didn't seem to be thinking... she didn't seem to be afraid. Like, I was normally pretty used to being up against bad odds, and usually, she was there with me for the ride, but that didn't seem to be where her head was.
So I just took a few more deep breaths and waited.
Okay, so... things don't line up, Merry said. Kalamitus wanted something from you, right? That was the whole point of you not being manipulated.
Right. I started to open my mouth to say what I was thinking out loud, but somehow, given how hostile the world seemed to me right now, that felt wrong, like spitting on the floor in an expensive lawyer's office. It felt like disproportionate force could be wielded against me at any moment.
And then there's the notification. It doesn't mention your name at all.
I frowned, knowing that it was true, but... it didn't immediately tell me what she was thinking.
It said it was their trial, Merry clarified. If you are the one undergoing the trial, why wasn't it your trial?
That was more points towards the conclusion that the Lord Beneath was going to chew them up over the candidate they chose. Maybe he would examine their motivations and behaviors, and Kalamitus had certainly been a dick to me multiple times.
Right, but he's also been a Dungeon God for a while, I think. If this isn't his first Trial, then he would know not to be a dick to candidates.
I frowned. I think he just can't help himself.
But he also knew that he needed to manipulate you. I don't think it would have been hard for him to just be nice. Clearly, he thought you were going to die and it would be irrelevant, but...
I let myself sit on the floor, not that I was particularly tired of standing, but because it was more conducive to thinking hard about this. Supposedly, this is all about corruption, I pointed out. But the Dungeon God that has been there for multiple iterations... as far as I'm concerned, he's corrupt as fuck. I mean, I don't know much about him, but to be that big a dick...
We don't know him, his job, or anything, Merry pointed out, almost too reasonably, but yeah, I agree. And that's why...
We passed another invisible barrier--at least, I thought it was invisible, and a barrier, but I still had my eyes closed. Another notification appeared.
GLOBAL ALERT
The Trial of Dungeon God Kalamitus and Dungeon Administrator Xzyrtvwartcihz will begin soon.
All God Towers of Kalamitus have been sealed.
All Dungeons administrated by Xzyrtvwartcihz have been sealed.
Entry will be forbidden until the Trial is complete.
I got up and looked down. The area around us was now thick with floating debris, which we shot past. It clearly wasn't more pieces of dungeon; it was shattered, and lacked the uniform outer layer that the Dungeon pieces had, which prevented any senses from getting out. The elevator had continued to accelerate, I think--if I was right and what lay below was a Dyson sphere around a star, I had travelled insanely far, to the point where I had to have been going a fair percent of the speed of light. I mean... I didn't really want to get distracted, but I had to have been light-seconds away from the star, at least, right? Even if it took me a half an hour, that was, like, a fraction of a percent, which was huge in terms of energy use.
Or maybe they had just let me drop, and would catch me at the bottom. Either way, it was scary.
The point, Jay, is that I think your part in this is over. Maybe the fact that you were chosen is already decided. I think...
All of a sudden, the elevator tore to pieces around me, though I was still in some kind of forcefield, and the acceleration picked up. I noted that around me were more and more bits of debris, and much of it was large chunks of what looked like land, with ruins built on it, most of which seemed deserted, abandoned. Most, but not all, and I'm sure I saw at least one thing standing there, watching me with dead eyes, but only for an instant. It might have been my imagination.
Immediately below me, a white circle appeared, irising open like a door, and I realized I was about to reach the impossibly large surface of the Dyson sphere itself, and be taken inside. What was there beneath? The Star? Was I going to be incinerated? I mean, at that point, I basically knew better, but it was fucking impossible not to panic in that moment. How could I not? I'd basically been thrown out a window and was falling to my death.
The last... let's say, thousand miles between me and the white portal were eaten up in less than a second, and yet I could recall that fraction of a second so clearly. I remember noticing that there was nothing else on the other side of the gateway--that it was simply, purely, white.
The moment in which I was thrown into the fires of hell, a notification appeared in my vision. It was the only thing I could see, and reading it... well...
GLOBAL ALERT
The Trial of Dungeon God Kalamitus and Dungeon Administrator Xzyrtvwartcihz has begun.
Judge Jerry Applebee, Presiding.
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