《The Only Real Cultivator》Chapter 46

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“Thanks for protecting me back there,” I said.

“Of course, it’s my duty,” she replied.

“But thank you anyway. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I said. “So, where’s the Alchemy Headquarters?”

She took out the map. “We’re close. It’s couple minutes away.”

“I’ll follow your lead,” we headed to the headquarters with the rooftop platforms.

The alchemy headquarters marked the center of an alchemy district. Around the alchemy headquarters were alchemy schools and houses for high ranking alchemists. Greenhouses dotted the landscape, their size making them impossible to not notice.

The wealthy in this city put enormous importance in the beauty of their landscapes. Every important place in the city was designed to elicit awe. When I visited the Blue Fire Sect, I had been stunned by the sheer amount of effort put into maintaining its beauty. I had thought Chen Wei was downplaying their wealth. But compared with other parts of the city, the Blue Fire Sect wasn’t much.

There were no rooftop platforms near the alchemy headquarters, so we had to walk on the streets. The streets were paved in with many colors. Each street was colored differently, as if a giant had reached down from the sky with an enormous paintbrush. I could be walking on a dark green road, turn a corner, and end up on a bright pink walkway.

The buildings on a dark green road followed a dark green theme. The buildings next to a pink walkway would follow a pink theme. Walking onto a new street felt like walking into a new world of color.

There were no continuous roads either. It was impossible to walk straight for more than a couple hundred meters before being forced to turn. This would normally be a terrible design choice, but it was all on purpose. The abnormal street layout and the lack of rooftop platforms forced people to walk through multiple worlds of color to reach any destination.

My eyes combed the scenery, absorbing every bit like a dry sponge in the sea. There was so much to take in, but so little time to take it in. Hui Ming followed me with a concerned look on her face. “Is anything wrong?” she asked.

“No, why?” I said.

She lowered her voice to a whisper. “You keep looking around. Is there somebody following us?”

“No, I’m just looking at the scenery. But doesn’t this place look amazing? Look at all the colors!” If this place existed in my old world, it would instantly become the number one tourist attraction.

“Yes. Many colors,” she said.

“You don’t need to try to act excited,” I said. “What, have you seen better?”

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“You haven’t been in this city for very long, so you wouldn’t know. The sect grounds of the Crimson Fire Sect are just as pretty, as are many other parts of the Grand Flame City,” she said.

“Ha! Who would’ve thought. You’ll need to show me!” I said. She beamed and nodded.

The alchemy headquarters itself was a chubby building made of a red metal. It was large, but smaller than I thought it would be. I had imagined a twenty story majestic building rising out of the earth. Instead, I got a three story building with minimal decoration.

Two people stumbled out the alchemy headquarters. Their eyes were bloodshot and their walking patterns were slightly off. They reeked of a familiar smell that I couldn’t put my finger on. “What’s that smell?” I sniffed the air.

“Incense,” she said.

Hui Ming held the door open for me. I walked in and an odor hit my nose, making my nose wither. I pushed Hui Ming out of the way and ran back outside. I pointed a finger at her, “That’s not incense!”

“Eh?”

“That’s pot! Weed! Marijuana!”

“Eh?”

“Why does the alchemy headquarters smell like weed.”

“But that’s incense…”

I held my breath and cracked the door open. I pointed into the lobby. Groups of people sat around with sticks in their mouths. “Clearly,” I said, “that’s a joint. They’re smoking joints.”

“That’s an incense stick.”

“Who the fuck smokes incense sticks.”

“They do.”

“...”

“...”

“Are all of them like this?” I asked.

“Almost all,” she said, “Is something wrong?”

“No.” I leaned against a wall. A group of five walked out, each stoned out of their minds. “Just wasn’t expecting this. Let’s go back in.”

This time, I pushed the door open myself, breathing through my mouth. The smell was so strong I was struck by dizziness. The lobby was essentially a giant bong. I looked back, Hui Ming seemed to be doing fine. She was adjusting her mask, not bothered by the smell. Maybe I could get used to this as well.

A couple people glanced up at us, but none of their eyes lingered. Our dress was normal in this place. Many wore robes fancier than mine.

I walked up to a receptionist. “Hello, do you know where I can apply for an alchemy rank?” I asked.

“Yes. What rank are you applying for?” he said.

“I’d like to apply for Grandmaster,” I said. The qualification for becoming a grandmaster was the ability to get a single piece of medicine to the sixth rank. It didn’t matter whether it was a simple burn salve or a pill that could stretch a lifespan by ten years. It didn’t matter of the alchemist simply got lucky. Anybody who could make any sixth rank pill were qualified to be Grandmasters.

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The receptionist chuckled. “But really, which rank are you applying for?”

“I was being serious the first time. I would like to apply for Grandmaster,” I said.

It took him a while to decide I wasn’t high. “It costs a hundred shards to take the test, and you need to bring your own ingredients.”

I handed him a copper jade slip. “I brought my own ingredients,” I pat a box underneath my robes. Emergency medicine and money were kept in the box.

“Follow me,” he showed me into a hallway.

Both sides of the hallway were lined with rooms. He passed me to an alchemist with a burly body but small, delicate hands. This new alchemist led to a room with no windows. A glowing rock was fixed to the top of the room, below was an empty table. He took out a piece of paper and a brush. He placed them on the table. “Have you taken an alchemy rank test before?”

“No.”

“Alright, what’s your name?”

“Jin.”

“Same as that guy with the alchemy house? That’s nice.” He wrote my name on the paper. “What’s your alchemist name?”

“Still just Jin.”

After we were done with the registration, he gave me a cauldron and told me to start. I couldn’t let him see the Myriad Flame Snakes. “I heard you had a way to test me without somebody watching?”

“Yes we do. It’ll cost an additional two thousand.” Some alchemists made their own secret recipes, so there was an option to take the test without anybody watching. It involved special methods to prevent cheating, so I had to pay extra.

Hui Ming was pulled out of the room and the door shut. I sighed.

You’ve created a new type of plant! What would you like to name it?

“Filter Sponge” has been named!

Filter Sponge has reached level two!

Filter Sponge has reached level three!

Filter Sponge has reached level four!

I rarely ever created new plants anymore. I didn’t need them. I could combine plants instead of making new ones. There was no point making a washing machine plant, because I could combine rotating Vines and wood instead.

But every once in awhile, I would encounter a circumstance so weird I had to create a new plant to fix it.

The Filter Sponge expanded and contracted. The weed air passed through its pours. The smell faded.

I’m never coming here again.

Small snakes crawled into the cauldron. I took out all the ingredients I needed and started creating the golden transformation pill. A while after I finished, I Withered the Filter Sponge and exited the room.

“Are you done? Did you succeed?” he said.

“Yeah,” I showed him the pill, “here it is.”

He picked it off my palm like he would pick up a hot potato. He sniffed it. “What type of pill is this?”

“It’s a sixth cycle Golden Transformation Pill.”

He gave the pill a long hard look, “You said your name was Jin?”

“Yes.”

“Greetings, Grandmaster Jin. Are you the same Jin as the one that runs Jin’s Medicine House?” Unlike Chen Wei, his demeanor didn’t change after calling me grandmaster. Chen Wei had turned into etiquette teacher, but this person didn’t change anything but my title.

“Yeah, is it famous?” I asked.

“Very. I’m sorry, but this alchemy headquarters is not able to provide certificates or badges at the grandmaster rank for the time being. We will deliver it to your medicine house at a later date, is that alright for you?”

“Sure, may I have the pill back?” he put it back in my palm. “Is there anything else I need to do?”

“You and the young lady may leave whenever you want,” he said, “Although I would like to add, if you ever find yourself in a tough position, you can always come back here.”

We were shown out of the hallway and into the lobby. “Is there any reason people use incense other than to get high?” I asked Hui Ming, right about when we were about to leave.

“The type of incense in this room is for pleasure, but there are types of incense that increase mental function. I use it when I meditate on the Dao.”

No way. “Does it actually work?”

“There are a bunch of different type of incense, but the expensive ones that I used in the past did work,” she said.

I laughed. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier! Wait, so there are no side effects. Just a brain boost?”

“Just a brain boost.”

I took out a pile of jade slips. “Alright. I’m convinced. We’re buying all the miracle weed. Time to get stoned.”

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