Interlude 4 - Loneliness in False Freedom

Gaïdal Kan entered the cell once more, looking both pleased and angry.

I rose from my seat, sculpted from my own chair, and moved my humanoid body.

His gaze met mine and, for a second, he was taken aback.

“...Why? Why this form?” He seemed displeased.

“I don’t understand. Isn’t this form proper for humanoid to humanoid communication?”

“...Yes. But why copy Radiance?”

“Because I wanted a female body and, lacking any reference for building it without falling in the Uncanny Valley, I used the lone reference I had, which is Radiance.”

I had copied her face and her frame, but it wasn’t an exact replica, the original clearly lacking what humanoid would call curves, a problem I had fixed.

My answer to him being genuine, Gaïdal seemed a bit lost, not knowing what to say.

“Seeing how you react, I can only infer that there is an error in my logical deduction.” I urged him to spill the bean.

Urgh, those humanoid and their need for pretence.

“Okay. How to say it… you look more like a twisted version of Radiance than anything else. It’s unnerving.”

Ah. Of course. The similarity.

“Sorry. I did not think about it. You humanoid are quite the sensitive being.”

He grimaced again but, soon, it turned into a smirk of self-mocking.

“Don’t be. I’m the one the more lost here, and also, surprisingly, the one making the less effort. Now, about what made me come here.”

“It’s about time the third assault you should have planned would have succeeded, if my calculations are right.” It wasn’t the first time I pulled off this kind of deduction so he just shrugged.

“Indeed, however-”

“The information was around 17% wrong.” I said, interrupting his sentence.

This time, his eyes opened wide.

“W-wait… You knew?”

“Taking the time that passed, and the number and scale of the operation you launched, this was expected.”

“...Next time, you will directly give that information to me.”

“Understood.”

“Good. The second reason I’m here is that I was warned about multiple evasion attempts coming from your cell.” He was frowning. He didn’t know what to do with this information, since it didn’t fit my behaviour until now.

Escape attempts?

“What are you talking about?”

“Multiple objects have been put in contact with the point-zero grid.” He was looking at me as if I was… I don’t know.

A kid.

Yes, as if I was a kid, whatever that meant.

Wait.

“I did indeed put things in the zero-point grid, but those weren’t evasion attempts.” I used my newly-created hands to show my body and clothes.

“Creating this shell and its garment created toxic by-products. I destroyed them using the grid so as to not poison you or any humanoid who would come in.”

“...Okay? Don’t do it again, please.” Gaïdal wasn't convinced, I think.

“Of course." I answered.

"Good. Now, let’s talk abou-”

“About my conditional release, yes. Good topic.” I stopped him once again.

“It has been two months already, and I proved myself trustworthy.” I said heavily.

“The higher-u-”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HIGHER UP!” I suddenly snapped, tentacles springing from everywhere and coiling themselves around the helpless man.

“I AM A SENTIENT BEING WITH EMOTION, AND I WANT TO BE FREE. I EARNED IT!” My roar was full of rage but, at a deeper level, it was truly pain and sadness speaking here, not wrath or hate.

I looked in the eyes of the man and I saw fear.

...What am I doing?

I let go of him and crawled back into the emerald water that was my bed, hiding myself behind a wall of tentacles as I immersed my humanoid body in the liquid.

I closed my eyes.

Since I disconnected myself from the Swarm, I felt freer than ever before, yet I was confined in this cell, without any way to exploit this newfound freedom.

And I was alone.

So alon-

Something touched my tentacles. I didn’t budge and the thing, the hand, stopped.

“I’m really doing everything I can to take you out of here. Please, be patient for a bit longer.” I heard Gaïdal’s words but didn’t answer and, once he went away, I started crying. Alone.