Chapter 17 - Why?

In the sky. An angel, four great wings keeping her flying, wings made out of pure white Shi.

Facing her, Lebaclas. He sported its usual somewhat masculine face, all in soft and long lines, just like the rest of its body.

It had long, fine legs, reminiscent of sharp blades, and its long refined arms and hands were crossed behind its back in its usual haughty demeanour, with its black hair flowing freely behind its back, giving it an androgynous look, going a bit more toward masculine because of its face, but just a bit.

Over it, on their tiny green platform, the full-plate warrior was already readying their war-hammer for another strike, as the angel-like figure was rushing toward Lebaclas with her spear covered in white Shi.

Lebaclas dodged both attacks by accelerating its fall, then took a sharp turn and struck back with short burst mana lasers( Yeah, so I’ll call that burst laser for now), that were also dodged.

The angel figure moved her four wings strangely and made a barrel roll, and the plated figure just jumped from their platform and let themselves fall before catching a rod that it had created out of thin air, stopping their fall and going back to running on green Shi platforms.

I’ll kill it. My inner voice was so cold and full of hate.

I primed a spell and suddenly Lebaclas… messed up? Like when someone misses a step because they just realised something.

A massive Shi hammer hit it and launched it out of my sight, making it crash in an unfortunate house.

“Hiiiiiiii!” It abruptly answered by launching two long burst lasers, knocking both the angel figure and the armour-clad fighter from the sky, without succeeding to kill them, but taking them out of the fight for a handful of seconds.

It emerged from the rumbles and its gaze went right to me, our eyes meeting.

M0rg? It had started a mental connection and I shook in surprise. Its voice, it had an emotion in it. A fucking emotion!

Yes. Mine was still full of hate, but what came next took me by surprise so hard I lost my mental footing for a second.

Identifizierung Übercluster-2y86f2vsgyi52-Cluster22854ftr-Feldkommandeur-0012 Bitte um Wiedereingliederung in den M0rg-Alpha-nastrfi-1425 Cluster.

Was? I was so surprised I answered in the Entropic language.

Tch, Verwenden Sie eine gemeinsame Sprache.

Understood. What is your answer? And another emotion! Longing!

Request impossible. The M0rg-Alpha-nastrfi-1425 Cluster has been dismantled after this unit’s betrayal. This unit doesn’t have the means nor the will to rebuild it. I really was surprised by its request.

Objection. This unit needs to be connected to a cluster. Cluster reconstruction is a priority.

Shut up, both of you! Morgana, snap out of it, you’re not in the Entropic swarm anymore!

Ah. Urgh. Of fuck, sorry, I fell right back into it. It’s because Lebaclas showed emotions, I answered it naturally.

Warning. The Traitor has been detected. Immediate elimination is recommended. Lebaclas had quite the opinion of Psaï it seemed.

Psaï isn’t the Traitor, I am. And if you ask me to kill Psaï again you’re the one who’ll get killed, understood?

...Acknowledged. Trivial. Reconnection to a cluster needed.

I can’t, I said it. And why the fuck are you asking me this? I betrayed you!

...No alternative. This unit sustained damage when the Overcluster broke down due to M0rg-Alpha-nastrfi-1425 unit.

I can’t.

...Alternative. Asking for direct affiliation to Unit M0rg-Alpha-nastrfi-1425.

What? I AM YOUR ENEMY! What did you not understand in what I said?

Irrelevant. Entropic swarm offline. No directive. No enemy. Need directive. Need direct affiliation. Please? And this time, it was pleading. This was strange, wildly so. For an Entropic unit to show emotions, maybe…

Okay. Your unit will now be directly affiliated under mine.

Morgana!

Psaï! Don’t you feel it? Lebaclas is showing emotions, there’s something in there!

For fuck’s sake!

No! I won’t hear it! Beside, Lebaclas is attacking the city right now, I can order it to stop now that they are affiliated to me.

...I’m watching. One wrong step and I kill it.

Sure. You’re the reasonable one after all.

Glad you acknowledge it at least.

Lebaclas. What are you doing here?

Collecting human souls to inject this unit with.

What?! I’ll kill it!

Stop! I forbid you!

...Not fair, using your administrator prerogative on me!

Psaï! You’re acting all emotional, just look at yourself! You sound like me!

...Okay. You’ve got a point.

Don’t let your hate for Entropy swallow you, take a deep breath and relax, okay? I’m taking care of this.

...Okay.

Thanks. I quickly took my direct admin order back from her, as it was quite taxing. Having your very free will be shackled like that was infuriating at best. In fact, I felt quite bad to have used it on her, but she seemed to have let her hate eat the best part of her during a moment there.

Lebaclas, why are you collecting human souls?

To remain awake. This unit’s soul is damaged, it’s in need of active mending to stay awake.

Ah. You’re temporarily fixing the damaged part but it wears down quickly, right?

Exactly.

Disengage. I’ll compensate for the time being, until we find the adapted tools to fix you.

Understood.

All along during our talk, the woman that was transporting me kept going deeper in the city to take us to a secure location, and Lebaclas kept fighting with the two Shi fighters.

Can you fake your death?

...Why.

It will be easier to meet if they think you’re dead, and are less on alert.

Understood. This unit will now attempt to disengage while faking its death.

Thanks for the idea, Psaï. Lebaclas, closing communication.

Yes. And it was out of my head.

Suddenly, all the Yiburis started retreating, and in the sky, you could see Lebaclas taking hits on purpose while faking injuries and loss of focus. It was a good actor for something lacking emotions.

***

Well fuck me. That was a tiring day.

No kidding.

We were now in the lord’s house, where the lord and our parents had taken shelter.

The centre of the city had been transformed into a makeshift bastion, with carriages blocking the roads and an organised militia keeping the stray monsters at bay.

After all, even if your standard monster could maul a human easily, it couldn’t really do anything against tens of them with two-and-a-half metres-long spears. Power in numbers bitch.

Not that is was necessary by the time we arrived, since I had asked Lebaclas to retreat and, somewhat, the Yiburis were linked to it, stepping out of the fight at the same time as it did.

Dad had fallen in tears when Ophelia, the Shi master that escorted us back here, had arrived in the mansion, and Mom, in an unexpected fit of spontaneity, had hugged her before rounding us and taking us on her arms all at once.

Seems like the body mods are progressing smoothly. She’s already quite strong.

Indeed.

Lord Valince and Crisnée had looked at each other without saying anything, falling in each other’s hug. Behind all his speech and presentation, he seemed to be much like his daughter in the communication aspect, emphasising motions and actions over speech.

And really, that was the end of the incident. Those kinds of things, like oral examinations, usually came and went extremely quickly, letting one bewildered of what just happened.

I mean, imagine that. Months after months of peace, then BOOM, one day, mass assault, then it’s gone.

However, the incident having ended did not mean we could go back to our normal life.

Not with snowfields littered with corpses.

Not with families torn apart from loss.

Not with the hole in our defensive wall.

Disaster struck quick and hard, and was fast gone, letting only tragedy behind it.

The most direct example I had in hand was the state of the little ones.

Somehow, they had kept their weaponry through all of this and, once their reunion with their parents was over, as if reflexively, they had taken them back, Crisnéer clinging to her sword as Noa took back his shield and Vivianne her spear, looking like shipwrecked clinging to lifebuoys.

All under the bewildered gaze of their parents, of course. Seven- or eight-years-old children wielding weapons as if their life depended on them was quite the unsettling sight, to say the least, and Mom and Dad were at a loss, not knowing what to do.

I could see Vivianne’s, Noa’s and Crisnée’s gaze, their hollow eyes in which loomed the picture of a young military aide, being eaten by a Yiburis, her face screaming toward the sky, dead. I could see their hands twitch while remembering their two fights. For trained fighters, those fights would have been laughable, if not pathetic, but for pristine children, untainted by the savagery of killing or being killed, of spilling blood and losing friends, it was a deep trauma.

However I wanted their happiness, I wasn’t by far the most qualified to help them deal with their trauma, and being unable to help them on that point… that really scared me.

Those kinds of demons, those in your head, you would need to fight them alone, at one point or another, whatever support you had from the people around you, whatever their willingness to help, their commitment, and thinking that those children I loved, my siblings, would need to pass through it, that really made my heart ache.

I really, really wanted to let those feelings go, to purge them by striking at Lebaclas for creating this mess, but I couldn’t.

After all, Lebaclas was also a victim here. And the perpetrator, I had destroyed it with all the rage and the hate I could muster. Entropy was no more, yet those feelings, hate and rage, they were still there, and Entropy’s effects could even be felt now, through Lebaclas’ actions.

Once again, Entropy had messed up with my life, and I couldn’t even do anything to avenge it.

Why? A familiar chorus of voices was whispering in my head, asking with sadness like a swamp, with tears of acid and shivering wounded bodies.

Why does it hurt so much?