💟 Valentine's Day Story: Accidental Interstellar Bride - 6/7💟

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Liyanne wasn’t sure if her heart was aching when she put the cocoons into the hot water because she had grown attached to the fat worms who made them or if it was because it was a reminder that she was one step closer to her ultimate goal of leaving. By her count, she had more than enough cocoons to make one robe.

It would have no embroidery or other embellishments. She needed to make it in the shape of her ripped robe that she kept on display in the room with her medicinal plants, but it was a plain design to sew together.

Master Tang, the sericulturist Shenwei went to for trees and loom recommendation, had come earlier in the week to show her how to remove the excess fibers from the cocoons and then find the start of the silk threads to connect to a spindle and collect. He’d made it look easier than it was, but after a few tries with the tools he brought her, she was able to sort the cocoons and connect them to the bobbin.

Her setup was rather simple; just a handful of cocoons were placed into the former wash tub at once so as not to crowd it. Once the threads were connected, it was just a matter of spinning it to combine the threads into a single one and collect it.

Of course, she was doing this at night, out in her moonlight illuminated courtyard.

Shenwei was sitting on her porch, reading by the light of several lanterns while wrapped in layers of clothing. A pot of tea with a tea light was on the table next to him. On his other side was a heating bowl.

“Shenwei, you should go to sleep,” she said as she spun the spindle and watched the cocoons slowly unravel. She’d never seen this process up close before and found that watching the threads spin the cocoons as they were spun off was somewhat mesmerizing. Though, seeing the dead pupa inside was a bit sad. She’d spent so much time feeding and talking to them, urging them to get fat and absorb moonlight.

“It’s still early; I can sleep later,” he said, not looking up from his book.

She was surprised that he was still awake after their earlier activities, but he had claimed that he was satisfied for the night before telling her that he’d join her outside while she spun. She had a suspicion he didn’t want to tire her; not that he would. Her stamina was still much better than his.

The two settled into comfortable silence, with just the sound of her wheel going as she collected silk. Liyanne was on her third batch when Shenwei stood up to collect his things. He shivered as he walked into the yard and stopped behind where she was seated on a stool.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and frowned. “You’re so cold.”

“The outer layer of clothes is, of course, cold,” she told him. “Don’t worry so much. I have so many layers on and I’m moving my arms. I’m sweating underneath.”

He still pressed his head against hers and peered into the wash tub. She saw his face twist with some disgust. “Are those the worms?”

“At this stage, they are called pupa,” Liyanne said. “It is an unfortunate byproduct of the process. My fat worms die during harvest.”

“Hmm....” He frowned a bit. “They look different from when I helped feed them.”

She smiled. When he could, Shenwei had joined her in collecting leaves from the mulberry trees, chopping them, and feeding them to the silkworms. He’d even joined her the last time she collected eggs, which the moths had laid in the leaves of the trees. He thought it was disgusting. He both said and had a face that reflected it, but still dutifully cut off the leaves with eggs and gently layered them onto the bamboo baskets.

He’d help her carry the baskets in and out of the storage at night, then repeated it when she was bringing out the cocoons to soak in whatever moonlight she could.

“I’m not going to use all of them. I have a few saved in the storage,” she said. There was a heating bowl in there as well to keep the temperature up. It was getting colder by the day, but many of those pupae were still alive.

“Are you going to stay up the whole night?” he asked.

“I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything tomorrow,” she said with a slight laugh. “I’m the spoiled wife of a rich man. I can stay home and do nothing.”

He chuckled behind her and kissed the side of her head. “I may actually prefer that to you sitting out here in the cold.”

“If you’re so cold, go into the bedchamber and bury yourself in the quilts. I’ll join you before dawn.”

“Don’t freeze, Yanyan.” He leaned forward and kissed her again before turning around and walking back into her house.

She continued to spin the silk until one large, woven basket of cocoons had been collected.

After putting away the remaining cocoons and hanging up her bobbin of silk on the rafters above the porch, Liyanne went to wash up before going to the bed chamber. Shenwei’s low, even breathing could be heard as soon as she slipped into the room. She smiled to herself and made her way to their bed in some cotton padded clothes she liked to sleep in when it was cold.

She blew out most of the remaining lanterns, leaving a single one just outside their bed.

She took in the side of his face and tried to burn the image into her memory. If she got married later, back home in Pleiades, she doubted her husband would be as handsome. Perhaps he’d be as kind and as funny and more intelligent, if she was lucky. Liyanne almost wanted to laugh bitterly at her thoughts.

She didn’t even think of her first boyfriend and their relationship like this. Whatever she had in her past seemed to pale in comparison and at that moment, it almost felt as if anything that would come would pale in comparison, as well.

Her arm reached forward and went over his chest. She wiggled closer to him, relishing the familiar warmth of his body.

“You’re such a wonderful husband. The best husband,” she whispered as she closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his shoulder. “I wish I could stay.”

Her nuzzling seemed to make him stir and Shenwei’s head moved. “Yanyan?” His eyes were still closed, but he was listening.

“I’m here. Go to sleep.”

He turned on to his side beneath her arm, and she felt his hand go to her waist and pull her closer. He took a deep breath as his nose brushed her hair.

“...Yanyan...my heart....” His low, sleepy voice confirmed what his actions had shown for some time.

Liyanne’s lower lip trembled as her heart ached. Let him be happy. Enjoy the moment. She told herself over and over, but a ball of dread continued to grow in the pit of her stomach.

“I love you, Shenwei.”

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It was rare that he came home late, but he wanted to get Shenli more involved and had brought him to a dinner with some of the most influential courtiers who sided with the Imperial Family, as they did. Shenwei couldn’t shake the feeling that he would one day be called back to the border.

When he left, it wasn’t because their mission at the border fending off and subduing the tribes vying for more land was over. He left because his father had died, and they needed him to return.

If he was called to return, then he wanted to bring Yanyan with him. Regarding this, he was torn. The border wasn’t the safest place, though the fortification and the fortified city nearby were what he’d consider safe. She would likely live with him at the garrison, in his officer’s quarters. There were other wives at the garrison she could talk to.

He knew it would be best to leave her in the capital, knowing the familial estate was relatively safer than the border, but Shenwei was greedy. He wanted Yanyan to be with him. He could keep her happy, he was certain of that.

And what was most important, he knew she loved him.

When she whispered it in bed, he had snapped out of his sleepy haze and couldn’t get back to sleep. All he had been able to do was lay there, holding her and trying to calm his heart.

She loved him.

Would she be willing to stay even after she made her robe? His stomach always twisted whenever he thought about it. Surely, there must be a way to convince her to stay.

What if he made their marriage official? Not the elaborate lie they’d come up with, but a real marriage. He’d already daydreamt of proposing to her. He just wasn’t sure when was a suitable time to.

Shenwei walked through her familiar moon gates after bidding his brother goodnight. As the gate doors closed behind him, he heard unfamiliar sounds.

There was a clack, creak, clack sound that wasn’t loud, but still felt as if it filled the courtyard in the usual night silence.

Yanyan was in robes with a thick shawl pinned around her shoulders and seated at the loom. Her dark hair was down, and she was rhythmically pressing levers, moving her arms, and sliding a shuttle beneath glistening white threads. They were bathed by the moonlight and Shenwei couldn’t breathe.

“Yanyan?”

She seemed to jump a bit in her seat before she released what she was holding and looked over her shoulder. Upon the sight of him, she smiled and stood up.

“You’re back! How was the dinner?” She raised her arms to welcome him and Shenwei happily brought her into his embrace. He leaned down to kiss her before he answered.

“I think it went well, but Shenli will likely have quite the headache tomorrow,” Shenwei chuckled.

“Sun Mei says he can drink quite well; if he’ll be ill tomorrow, he must’ve over done it. Don’t let him have so much that it’ll give him a headache.” Though she was scolding him, he was pleased that she cared about his family.

He rubbed his head against the top of hers and glanced at the loom. “Have you started?”

“Yes, I was practicing with some threads Master Tang brought when he came to teach me how to use the loom,” she said.

Shenwei looked a bit taken aback. “You don’t know how to use it?”

“It’s a complex machine. I don’t want to make a mistake and ruin all the silk I collected,” she said.

“Hmm....” He rocked her in his arms. “Are you able to weave properly now?”

“I’m quite a bit slower than Master Tang, as I’m being cautious, but yes.”

“You’ve worked hard,” he said. “Take a break with me.” His hands slid down her arms as he stepped back, and then grasped her hands in his.

“A break?” Yanyan knew him well and she looked at him suspiciously. “Is that really what you want, Duke Zhang?”

He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles one by one. His dark eyes held hers as his lips curled up into a grin. “I think we both know what I want, Madam Zhang.”

Her soft cheeks tinted pink, and he pulled her forward. They raced inside, leaving a trail of garments behind on the stone floor before falling into the formerly neat bed. He reveled in all the sounds that came out of her full, pink lips and closed his eyes just to surround himself with the sounds and feeling of her.

Shenwei was certain that he could not live without her.

Her hand brushed his hair out of his face as she climbed over him afterwards. His hand caressed her bare arm, and he gave her a disappointed look.

“You’re going to continue weaving?”

“Tonight is a full moon light,” she said. She stopped with her legs on either side of his torso. She draped herself over him one more time before grazing his lips with hers. “I’ll be back before morning.”

Shenwei didn’t hide disappointment as he let out a dramatic sigh. “If it gets too cold, come back.” He dropped his arm to the side, and she climbed off. She reached for her robe, and he watched her dress before leaving the bedchamber.

He needed to propose to her soon.

First, he needed to collect suitable engagement gifts: more silk, jewelry, and gold. He didn’t think anyone would question it knowing that he was very fond of his wife. When all of that was gathered, then it would show he was serious.

To accomplish this, his time away from Li Yan, when not in court or other meetings, was spent out with Steward Peng gathering the items himself. He wanted to pick everything out to show his sincerity to her. If he simply gave the order to the valets, he didn’t doubt that they’d get the finest gifts available, but he would have little hand in it.

He wanted Li Yan to know how highly he thought of her.

In the evenings, when he returned, he would have a meal with her or, if it were too late, have tea while she wove outside.

Strangely, Li Yan only wove for about a week. At first, he thought it was because she finally succumbed to the cold. Then, she told him that it was because she needed to weave under the light of the full moon. When she wasn’t weaving, a heavy tarp covered the loom and she’d take what she could indoors to protect it.

The weather was growing warmer during the day and the items Shenwei had ordered would soon arrive. The imported material, coral jewelry and ornaments, and pearls would finish off the dozens of chests of engagement gifts he’d accumulated.

He looked forward to the items so much, he didn’t think about Yanyan’s weaving or felt dread whenever he heard the familiar ‘clack-creak-clack’ of the loom. Every time he looked at the chests he kept in his private treasury, he’d smile and feel reassured that once she saw them - once she felt his sincerity, she would stay with him.

Shenwei blissfully drifted off to sleep after a few rounds with Yanyan, assured that their harmonious days together would continue. He didn’t notice the ‘clack-creak-clack’ cease.

As was his habit, sometime in the middle of the night, he rolled over in bed and lifted his arm to bring Yanyan closer. Most of the time, she’d already be in bed. Her warm, soft body would be curled next to him. This time, the warm, soft body he naturally expected to find wasn’t there.

Shenwei moved his arm around Yanyan’s side of the bed, and his forehead began to crease. He tried to open his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the sole source of light from a lantern across the room. There was no one in bed with him.

His heart sank and a chill swept through him.

There were no more silkworks to attend to, nor were there any more cocoons to lay out in the moonlight. His eyes widened as his chest tightened. The sound of the loom was absent.

“Yanyan?” Shenwei sat up and looked around. Her slippers were gone, as was her night robe.

He swung his legs off the side of the bed, forgetting about his own slippers as he shot up and rushed to the door. “Yanyan!” He called out into the darkness as his eyes swept over the outer chamber. A sliver of light coming from the room where she kept her medicinal plants caught his attention.

“Shenwei?” He heard her voice coming from within and the breath he was holding in seemed to rush out at once. His heart still slammed against his chest as he walked to the door and pushed it open. Her curious voice spoke out. “It’s late. Why are you awake?”

Shenwei stood at the threshold of the room and stared at his wife standing in the center, wearing a crudely woven, but lengthy white silk robe. The sleeves reached past her hands as she raised her arms out, letting the sleeves drape against her.

“You...you weren’t in bed....” He swallowed hard as his eyes settled on the robe.

It looked like a simple robe, but was it complete? The dread in the pit of his stomach seemed to spread.

“Ah, I was trying it on.” Yanyan smiled and turned around. “What do you think? I know it’s not as smooth as my original robe, but this is the first time I’ve woven the silk myself.”

Something felt as if it were tightening its hold around Shenwei, and he had to struggle to answer. “It’s not bad. It’s actually quite good considering it’s your first time.”

Her smile grew even more brilliant. “Do you really think so?” He nodded. She looked down at the dropping sleeves, which seemed to be a bit uneven, but he didn’t want to mention it. “I think it’s just about ready. I just need to add a hood.”

Shenwei furrowed his brows and lifted his head. “Do you plan to wear it out?” She shrugged, but didn’t answer. “Do you...do you want to keep working on weaving? To make it a bit smoother?”

Yanyan looked up at him and shook her head. “No, it doesn’t need to be as smooth as my old one. I only need one robe; the quality doesn’t have to be superior grade.”

Shenwei frowned. “But why stop at one robe? Why not make one more?”

Yanyan cocked her head to the side. “But I don’t need one more.”

He stared at her as a pain began to tear at his chest. “Do you plan on leaving?”

The smile that had been on her lips began to disappear. She kept her eyes down and slowly nodded her head. “I was only going to stay until my robe was completed. Now, it’s almost done.”

A sharp breath left him as his eyes crinkled up. “Yanyan-”

“I did consider staying longer,” she said as she lifted her eyes to meet his. “If you were struggling to get your estate in order, but you were able to do so quickly.” She offered him a weak smile. “There is hardly any need for me here.”

“There is! I need you here!” His voice filled the small chamber and Yanyan looked away.

“Shenwei, we had an agreement.”

“And I want to continue it!” He walked forward, reaching for her only to have her step back and avoid him. His heart sank. He looked at her with damp, pleading eyes. “Don’t you like it here? Didn’t you say you lived a comfortable life and that you love the garden?”

Yanyan closed her eyes and drew in her lips. She took a deep breath. “I do, but I don’t belong here.”

“Is it because of what others say about you?” he asked. He shook his head. “You can’t listen to them! If I say you’re my wife, then you’re my wife!”

“Shenwei, I can’t stay.”

“No, no, I can’t accept this. You said you loved me, Yanyan. You said you loved me!” His hands shot forward, and he grabbed her arms only to have her easily pull them away as if his touch burned her. His face paled and he clenched his jaw. “Were you lying to me?”

Li Yan didn’t answer. He let out a pained breath and glared.

“I’m sorry,” he heard her whisper.

He slowly shook his head. “I love you. I have for some time now.” His voice trembled as he spoke. “Stay with me, Yanyan.”

Her breath shook and looked at him beseechingly. “We had a deal.”

“Then let’s make a new deal,” he told her. “Stay with me.” She didn’t answer and a surge of desperation swept through him. “I want to make you my wife!” He suddenly cried out and Li Yan shut her eyes. “I want to make you Duchess Zhang...Yanyan, I can give you anything you want. Please. Stay with me.”

He watched tears slide down her cheeks as she looked up and blinked her eyes, trying to hold them back. She sniffled and took a deep breath. She turned her head and looked out the open window. He followed her gaze and looked out to the night sky. There was no moon visible from their vantage point, but there were stars.

Many, many stars.

Li Yan’s voice trembled. “I can’t.”

Shenwei’s hands tightened into fists. He grit his teeth, looking at her with disbelief and betrayal. “Then you never loved me at all.

He turned around and stormed out of her house, throwing open the doors and not bothering to shut them as he marched across the lawn, barefoot, and left her courtyard.

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It was for the best that Shenwei left her.

The less she had to see him, the less she would want to stay. At least, that was what she thought to herself. Liyanne continued to weave under moonlight, trying to complete the last length of silk to make the hood. Her entire body needed to be covered to get the best protection from the stresses of space-time travel.

She sat at her loom, rhythmically sliding the shuttle across the threads.

She hadn’t seen Shenwei in days.

She pulled down the reed against the woven silk.

She’d gone to bed alone.

She pushed the reed up.

She missed him at her side.

Liyanne blinked back the stinging between her eyes and tried to focus. This was the last piece she needed. Once she sewed it on to the rest of the robe, she was done. If she could complete the robe before the end of the week, she’d hit the exact night of the full moon and could try to go home.

In an effort to keep her transportation fob charged, she’d also begun laying it out in the moonlight. A little bit was soaked in each night, and she could feel it within the two broken pieces.

When she tried on the robe for the first time, she could feel the current of lunar energy coursing through it. It gave her hope that her return would be successful. She kept it on a stand, outside when she wove in order to continue gathering energy.

A few more passes of the shuttle, another few pulls of the reed, and she could go home.

Shenwei would forget. He would no longer be upset.

Her hand paused above the reed, and she stared at the silk. Why did him forgetting about her make her heart hurt even more?

“Yanyan.”

She sat up straight on her stool and turned around. Her arms lowered to her lap, and she stared across the lawn at the familiar man with dark circles under his eyes and disheveled clothes.

“Shenwei?”

He slowly lumbered towards her; his steps uneven. He looked paler than normal, as if he hadn’t slept in days.

Her brows knit together as she rose to her feet. “Shenwei, what are you doing? You look-”

“Please stay.” He stopped in front of her and looked down at her eyes, pleading. “Please...I....” His breath caught in his throat, and he fell to his knees. “Yanyan, stay. I’ll do anything you ask me to.”

She didn’t know what to tell him. He looked so miserable, and her heart sank knowing it was her fault. This wasn’t the way she wanted to remember him. This wasn’t how she wanted their last few moments together to be. Liyanne wanted him to be happy.

She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.

“All right.”

His eyes widened as his head looked up. “You’ll stay?”

She forced a smile on her face and nodded. “You want to marry me, don’t you?”

“Yes!” He shot to his feet and reached forward. His arms pulled her against him, and he buried his face against her hair. “I promise you the most lavish wedding you’ve ever seen! We shall get the best silk master and seamstresses in the empire to make our wedding robes.” He stepped back and looked at her with an eager, energetic expression. “When shall we go? In the morning? The sooner the better! We can also visit the jewelers to pick your wedding jewelry. Ideally, I’d like to commission a design for you, but that will take too long.”

Liyanne simply moved closer and pressed her face against his chest. Her arms wrapped around him, and she closed her eyes to try to minimize the amount of tears his clothes soaked up.

His rapidly beating heart seemed to calm and his voice became softer. “Yanyan?” She felt his muscles tense. “Do you...do you really want to marry me?”

Her embrace tightened, and she had to hold back to keep from hurting him. “I just want to be with you for a little longer.” Her shoulders shook as her uneven words were spoken.

She felt him kiss the top of her head. “We will be together for the rest of our lives,” he told her intently. “I promise.”

Her fingers clawed into his robes. She could not say the same.

For the first night in a few days, Shenwei was staying with her. Steward Peng brought his sleepwear and prepared Shenwei’s usual tea and some books to read on the porch while Liyanne finished weaving.

It was calm and just like any other night before. They’d agreed to go to the clothier and the jeweler’s after Liyanne finished combing through the dozens of chests filled with treasures he’d prepared for her. She claimed that she didn’t want to buy something else when she had so much already.

Liyanne made a show of picking out fabric and separating prospective jewelry. Sun Mei even helped her, and they discussed what other items needed to be prepared.

And at night, Liyanne would return to her loom and continue on with Shenwei waiting for her to go to bed with him. This went on for a few days.

Except on the night of the full moon, just before he brought her to bed, Liyanne had finished sewing the final piece of silk onto her robe.

She showered Shenwei with her attention and affection, wanting him to be as satisfied as possible before exhaustion took him. A smile was on his handsome face as he drifted off to sleep, his fingers still tangled in her hair.

Outside, her finished robe and semi-charged transportation fob were ready.

Liyanne laid beside him and stroked the side of his face. She had never felt such an intense longing and desire in her entire life, not even with her passion working with medicinal plants. Being with Shenwei made her happy, but it would never last.

She didn’t belong in this world.

Her fingers caressed his thin, pale lips.

In the morning, Shenwei would wake up and forget about her. He wouldn’t be burdened by her memory. He would be fine.

She leaned towards him and kissed him softly.

“I’m sorry.”

Liyanne slipped out of bed. She put on her slippers and wrapped a thin robe around her body before walking out. Her new robe was on a stand in front of the pond. Just beyond it, the full moon was perfectly reflected on its surface.

The robe she brought out with her fell to her feet and she stepped out of her slippers as she reached out and took her lunar silk robe and wrapped it around her. She slid her arms through its uneven sleeves and pulled the hood over her head. She picked up the two broken pieces of her transportation fob and, with one in each hand, and the hems of her robe dragging, she walked towards the pond.

She took a deep breath and stepped into the water.

It was cold, but it didn’t bother her much. She recalled that the waterfall was colder. Her feet sank into the mud, and she pushed up. She floated and reached her arms forward and lazily swam to the reflection, trying to keep the water as still as possible.

When she was within the reflection of the full moon, she floated onto her back and lifted the fob pieces. She took another deep breath and put them together.

A surge of energy swept through her body, and she could feel the lunar energy in the fob extending outwards, shooting away to try to connect with the transportation beacon back at the research facility.

“Yanyan!” A voice shouted across the courtyard and her head turned towards the house.

Her heart fell as she saw Shenwei, half dressed and barefooted, running out of the house. A frantic, panicked expression was on his handsome face as he caught sight of her.

The energy from the transportation fob suddenly shot up. It connected. “Shenwei....”

“Yanyan!”

The water around her began to vibrate and as she looked down, she could see the dark liquid begin to swirl around her body. Water shot up and swept over her head.

“Yanyan!”

She peeked at him from behind the coarse fabric of her hood as the water surrounded her. She watched him run into the pond without hesitation and she choked back a cry. She gave him a soft smile. “I’m sorry....”

She felt the pressure around her tighten before she was suddenly pulled down and the muffled cries begging her not to leave him faded into silence.

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Nothing made sense.

He was sure his entire estate thought he had lost his mind, but he knew she had been there. Despite what everyone told him, heknew she existed.

“Elder Brother....” Shenli looked exhausted as for what seemed like the hundredth time since he woke up after being found soaking wet and passed out on the edge of the pond in what was supposed to be a ‘vacant’ courtyard, he tried to convince Shenwei that no one lived there. “Please, you must stop this. There is no one here.”

“Then explain to me what all these medicinal plants are here for?” Shenwei looked like a disheveled lunatic, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t shaved for days and if it weren’t for Steward Peng forcing him to bathe and change, he wouldn’t either. He was too busy trying to search for Yanyan at the bottom of the pond.

Shenli let out a heavy sigh and gave him a pleading look. “Don’t you remember? You wanted to start looking into medicinal plants after you and your men were attacked on the way home and they were poisoned.” He held out his arms. “This is why you had this courtyard furnished; so that you could use it when you were tired from reviewing.”

Shenwei didn’t know how his brother could believe such a thing. He never once showed interest in medicinal plants.

“Then what about the silk robe?” It felt that all he had left of his Yanyan was the robe she was wearing when he first met her. It was torn and seemed to have lost some of its luster, but he had carefully taken it and locked it away to keep it safe. Every night, he opened the chest to touch and hold it, as if to reassure him that it wasn’t a dream.

His brother blushed. “I don’t know...you brought it back with you from your time in the army. I assumed....” He trailed off and looked away.

Shenwei shook his head. “It belonged to Li Yan.”

Shenli looked pained. “Elder Brother, there is no one named-”

“No, I’m not going to listen to you!” Shenwei shook his head once more and refused to acknowledge his brother. “You’re wrong! She was here! She existed! I held her in my arms!” He shook has he remembered her warm, soft body nestled in his embrace. “She was my wife....”

“Elder Brother....” Shenli’s eyes were red.

“Master Zhang,” Steward Peng stood at the doorway to the house and looked towards Shenwei with pity before looking at Shenli. “You must go to court.”

Shenli shut his eyes tight.

Shenwei had been so frantic and showed signs of extreme paranoia when he awoke that it was clear to everyone that he was not fit to go to court. They made an excuse that he had fallen ill with a fever in hopes that Shenwei would return to normal after a day or two. But a day or two passed, then a week, then a month.

And he had remained as he was; constantly talking about his wife who disappeared into the pond.

Shenli knew he had to step in and take on his brother’s duties. He didn’t know what happened to cause his brother to lose his mind - no one in the estate did - but it was clear he was not going to recover any time soon.

Shenli gave Steward Peng a small nod. “I’ll be out soon,” he said in an even voice.

Shenwei looked at him for a moment. Steward Peng bowed and left.

“Shenli,” Shenwei spoke, as if having a moment of clarity. “I’m sorry to have to leave this to you. I know you don’t want to be Duke Zhang.”

Shenli’s eyes continued to dampen. “Then get better,” he said in a broken voice. “Please, Elder Brother.”

Shenwei shook his head and spoke softly. “I need to find her.”

“There is no her!”

“She was here, Shenli-”

“No, she wasn’t! You dreamt it all!” Shenli stepped outside and motioned to the pond, or rather, the muddy hole that had been drained. “Don’t you see? There is nothing there! Nothing! No one disappeared into the pond!”

Shenli whirled around, almost running out of the courtyard.

Shenwei watched his fleeting back and closed his eyes. There were times where he felt he really was losing his mind. He walked outside, towards the pond and looked over the mud. It had been drained a few days after he awoke, when he insisted that Yanyan and disappeared into the pond.

The water was removed and there was nothing but some turtles and a few small fish that also had to be removed.

“I see you came here again.” A familiar voice spoke up behind him and Shenwei turned around. He looked relieved to see his old tutor.

“Master Dong,” he said and bowed his head.

The old man walked towards him. “How long are you going to continue being like this, Shenwei?”

“Until I find her,” he answered without hesitation. He squinted as Master Dong reached her. “You know she exists.”

There was some regret in Master Dong’s eyes as he looked down. “I said that I recall you with a lady friend at the inn when we passed. I don’t recall anything more.”

“She was Yanyan....”

“Let’s say she was,” Master Dong said. He looked towards the younger man calmly. “Let’s say there was a young woman with you, but now she is gone. If she is gone, then she didn’t want to stay.”

“No, she wanted to stay-”

“Then why didn’t she?”

“Because she didn’t belong here.”

“She didn’t belong here?” Master Dong raised a brow. “Shenwei, you cannot force someone to stay.”

He knew that. Somehow, he’d always known that, but he didn’t want to believe it. The way she held him, the way she felt against him, and the emotions he read in her beautiful eyes told him that she wanted to stay. She simply couldn’t.

“I need to see her again,” Shenwei said in a tight voice. “Just once more....”

“Then, are you going to search for her?” Master Dong asked. “What about your responsibilities here? Do you plan to hand everything to Shenli for you to find this woman?”

Yes. Shenwei felt his body sink as a strange mixture of relief and understanding settled. He wascompletely willing to give up everything, to let his brother be Duke Zhang, in order to be with Yanyan. He never wanted to be Duke Zhang, either.

A hint of alarm seemed to cross Master Dong’s face.

“Think carefully about this Shenwei,” he said in a low voice. “Where would you find her? She disappeared!”

Shenwei narrowed his eyes.

If she weren’t there, in her courtyard, there was only one place he could think of where she’d be.

During the day, he prepared. He arranged to see his horse and to have it brought to Yanyan’s courtyard. The large, bay horse nudged his side and Shenwei patted his neck.

“Midnight Wind, you remember her, don’t you?” Shenwei asked. “Yanyan?” His horse chuffed and he took that as an affirmative answer. “We need to find her. We need to go back where I first met her.” Midnight Wind seemed to look at him, chuffed, and then stomped his front hoof once.

Shenwei smiled.

No one stopped him from wandering the estate. The servants were told not to bother him and so Shenwei had no issue collecting the money and supplies he’d need for the journey back to the waterfall.

His brother came to check on him when he arrived and found Shenwei wandering around aimlessly in the courtyard. Shenwei heard him asking some of the guards what he did that day and all they told him was that Shenwei had wandered around the estate. Shenli looked disappointed and silently returned to his own yard.

Shenwei waited until the estate was asleep before he made his way out. He had packed some bags with supplies, money, and Yanyan’s ripped robe, and hidden them behind the house. When night fell, he slung them over his body and climbed the way to get to the stables. Sneaking inside was a simple matter. Sneaking out with a horse was more difficult.

After securing Midnight Wind’s saddle and bags, he grasped the reins and walked out of the stables. He nearly made it to the gate, when two guards came rushing forward.

“Your Grace!” They sounded panicked. “What are you doing?”

“It’s quite late, Your Grace,” the other guard said, trying to sound calm. “Come, let us escort you back inside.”

Shenwei took a deep breath. “Forgive me for this. If I find her, I’ll return.”

“Your Grace?”

Shenwei dropped Midnight Wind’s reins and rushed forward. He jumped and twisted his body, kicking one of the guards in the jaw before grabbing the other one, and holding his neck in his arms firmly until he passed out. He carefully leaned the guards against the wall and checked to make sure the first guard wasn’t too injured, just unconscious.

As soon as he was assured they’d be fine, he opened the gate, led Midnight Wind out, closed the gate behind him, and then galloped off on his horse.

By his estimate, it would take him a month or so to get to the waterfall that had taken them about a month and a half to get from. He pushed Midnight Wind hard, but was careful to allow his horse to rest and eat to recover before continuing on. When Midnight Wind was grazing, Shenwei would take short naps to keep up his strength.

The speed of his pace to reach the waterfall was grueling, but part of him was assured that if he went there, he would see her again. He could feel it in his blood.

When he caught sight of the village where they’d stopped that night, he was almost shaking with excitement. He was close.

“It’s up the mountain...can you take me there?” he asked his horse.

Midnight Wind let out another chuff and they proceeded up a dirt footpath up the mountain.

Unfortunately, it ended quickly. It would be too difficult for Midnight Wind to continue up and Shenwei frowned.

“All right...let’s see if the villagers will take care of you while I go up.”

They returned to the village and Shenwei tried his best to appear less the ragged traveler that he was. While his clothes were dirty, they were still of fine material and a few men recognized him.

“Your Grace, what are you doing here?” the village chief asked as he rushed out to meet him.

“I’m searching for my wife,” Shenwei said. He jumped off his horse and gave the chief an amiable smile. “We had a bit of a disagreement.”

"Wife?" The chief seemed lost for a moment before he scowled. “That woman!"

Shenwei chuckled and looked towards the mountain. At the very least, they remembered he was with a woman. “I’m sure we will be able to work out our problems. First, I need to find her. I have a feeling she returned here. By any chance, have you or your villagers seen her?”

He held his breath, but felt his heart drop when the village chief shook his head. “No, Your Grace, we haven’t seen anyone come through these parts."

Shenwei tried not to show his disappointment on his face. “I see...she must be...upset with me.” He lifted the reins to his horse. “I’m going to go up the mountain to try to search for her for a bit. Would you be able to watch my horse? I will of course compensate for his feed and your time.”

“Of course, Your Grace! I’d be happy to!” The village chief’s face lit up and Shenwei gave him a small pouch of coins.

“Then please. Take this and share amongst the villagers. They were exceptionally good to us last time. I still can’t thank them enough.” He gave the village chief a charming smile as the old man bowed his head over and over to thank him.

The sun was starting to set and Shenwei knew he had to start moving. From what he could see in the sky, the moon was full. He let out a low breath.

He was just in time.

With Midnight Wind taken care of in the village, Shenwei took a small lantern he packed with him and made his way up. He vaguely remembered where the waterfall was. Every now and then, he paused and tried to reorient himself. There wasn’t much of a path to the waterfall.

He’d simply run on instinct when they saw the beehive. He stopped and lifted his lantern.

“Beehive.” He looked at the clump that seemed to awkwardly grow against a tree and thought back to that night. He and his men were walking towards it, and someone wasn’t paying attention. They hit the hive and Shenwei remembered yelling for them to disperse.

He had turned to his right and ran straight.

Shenwei turned his lantern to the right and looked ahead of him. He squinted as he lifted his legs to move past the low foliage. He didn’t recall how long he ran. It seemed to have happened so quickly.

Yet, his ears heard it. The faint sound of running water.

His heart leapt to his throat as he quickened his speed. He rushed forward, starting to jump, and run over the forest floor as the sound of rushing water grew louder and louder.

He could see a break of light from a moonlight clearing.

“Yanyan!” His heart slammed against his chest as he almost dropped his lantern to get to the waterfall. He broke out of the tree line and rushed forward.

The glorious falls were illuminated by pale moonlight and in the center of its pool, a beautiful near perfect reflection of the full moon.

“Yanyan?” He lowered his lantern on the ground and slowly stepped closer.

There was no one else there.

No discarded clothes. No slippers. No beautiful woman in a glowing white silk gown.

Shenwei walked to the edge of the pool and stood on the rocks he had first seen her standing on just before he ran into her. No one was in the pool, either.

He swallowed hard as a pain seemed to fill and crush him from within.

“Yanyan, I came....” he said. “Where are you?”

His eyes stung as he sat down in the spot where she had sat over a year ago; soaked in a single layer of white silk as she stared blankly at a broken jade token. He gritted his teeth and held back a cry.

She was supposed to be there. She was supposed to meet him.

Shenwei shut his eyes and he felt dizzy. He hadn’t slept in two days. All he wanted to do was see her again. He swayed against the rocks. “Yanyan...” His vision went dark as his exhaustion caught up to him.

He didn’t hear the quiet footsteps that approached.

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