Earth – World of The Misplaced Dungeon

{Timeline: November 2018 – MD from Ch. 56}

Dave arrived home from work to find his wife Maddy ripping a letter in half and adding the remains to a not inconsiderable pile of similarly treated correspondence. “Hello dear, ready for our trip?”

“Gods yes. Ever since that stupid local program outed us as elves it has been insane.” She glared at the pile of wastepaper. “I can’t understand why everyone believes we would want to buy rural lots that lack planning permission and on which we wouldn’t be allowed to build,” she huffed.

Dave meandered into the kitchen and made himself and Maddy a cup of tea before settling in front of the telly. Maddy joined him.

“Well dear, how was your day? Any last minute problems?”

Dave relaxed, “No problems. We have two weeks to do with as we will though I had to promise to keep my phone handy. You’ll love this Maddy, a new dungeon has popped up. The Mock Turtle dungeon under Lewis Carroll whose companion is called Alice Liddell; and he’s a vassal of Mary’s.”

“You’re joking,” Maddy gazed into the distance, “No you’re not, and it is ranked Vetran.”

“Gator has all but admitted he’ll back the girl as he clearly feels he owes her a favour. Linny is bat shit crazy and her companion is feral. And she’s asking for help having made too many enemies. I certainly wouldn’t want to deal with her. Macquarie seems sensible and has said we are welcome to visit.”

Maddy narrowed her eyes, “Pity he’s located so close to the girl. But maybe we should swing round that way. I’m not entering the New York sewers though. Loved that story of that supervisor chap killing an alligator and dragging it out for the world to admire.”

Dave chuckled, “Yeah, Gator was looking forward to visitors.” He shook his head, “A functional dungeon in the sewers of New York. Who’d have thunk it. Anyway that leaves Liz in Oz. We have an invite and we’ll be there soon.”

“We’ve met Harry, Markus, and Marcel. We should meet James in Singapore in a couple of days time. Then Liz. Then I think we should visit Macquarie.”

“Fine dear. We should get an early night, the flight’s at quarter to nine and we will have to go through all the security checks besides signing in.”

* * *

Their drive from Hove to Heathrow had been uneventful but an officious security man who gave the impression of disliking non-humans had delayed them. They only just made their flight.

Thirteen hours later and feeling distinctly groggy they got a taxi to their hotel. A meal and night’s sleep left them feeling better. They spent the day sightseeing before meeting James Hu at their hotel in the evening.

The meeting was uneasy. All parties had difficulty explaining the situation, it was made more awkward by James having no idea why he had been railroaded by the system into selecting proto-dungeon.

Finally James admitted defeat. “Fine, I’ll accept that against all logic there are other worlds, and that a goddess— and I’m an atheist— so this otherwordly being took most of my soul— and I don’t believe in souls either— and turned me into a dungeon in this Parthia or Diavlo of yours.”

James rose, “It was very nice to meet you. You have explained much I have to think on. Thank you for the contact numbers you have shared with me, I wish you a pleasant journey to Australia.”

James smiled politely and left.

Dave turned to Maddy, “Well that could have gone better.”

Maddy steepled her fingers, “I suspect his other self isn’t installed on Parthia or Diavlo. All the dungeons from Diavlo died there and their earth counterparts have a full set of memories. As for Parthia the girl seems to have linked them all to their Earth selves. That just leaves the remaining two worlds.”

“Huh. You might be right, no, I’m certain you are right Maddy.”

“And where does that leave us Dave? Will we have to contact that girl again?”

“Possibly, let’s see what we think after meeting Liz.”

* * *

Dave and Maddy arrived in Sidney and made their way in easy stages to Brisbane where they met another proto-dungeon. Tammy O’Hare was a small sun tanned blue eyed blond. As for that matter was her sister Becky. They had more success convincing the sisters, or possibly it was the information that they were going to visit a real established dungeon next that convinced the sisters to take a few days off and accompany them.

Two days later after having driven through some of the most spectacular mountain scenery Dave had ever seen they arrived at Barcaldine, a small town baking under the summer sun. The place did not impress Dave.

After refreshing themselves at the Railway Hotel on Oak Street they proceeded north to Twin Springs Sheep Station the home of Elizabeth Dreyfus and the location of the Drop Bear dungeon.

The whole place looked a bit run down, they were met and made welcome by Ralf, a burly red faced man that appeared to be in his late forties. He turned out to be Liz’s son and the manager of the station.

After a cup of tea and a slice of rather stodgy fruit cake Ralf led them round to the back of the main house and waved to a small grove of eucalyptus trees.

“The entrance to mom’s lair is in the middle of the grove.” Ralf grinned ruefully, “this is a bundy do, are you lot sure you want to meet mom? She has become rather tetchy in her old age ’n’ her cobber Riley is no help.”

Dave smiled reassuringly, “Yes indeed. She invited us after all.”

“Well, yes, she told me to welcome you ’n’ your old-lady but she didn’t mention these young ladies.”

“We’ll be all right. Thanks for your concern, Ralf,” and then with another smile Dave led Maddy and their new friends into the grove. In the centre of the grove they found a hole with a set of wooden spiral stairs going down.

The stairs ended in a large cave. It was surprisingly well lit, the ground was covered by patchy seared looking grass and several eucalyptus trees were present. A small man wearing a dark suit over a bright green waistcoat was waiting for them. He had a green derby hat and stout reddish brown leather shoes.

Maddy seemed fascinated by the overlarge shamrock that decorated his hat.

“Gud day ter yer. I’m sure we can be friends just as long as you don’t go hunting for my crock of gold. I’m Riley by the way.”

Tammy and Becky’s eyes grew very big, “Are you... Are you – a leprechaun?” asked Becky.

Riley hooked his thumbs in his waistcoat and threw his chest out, “That I am, begorrah!”

« Enough of this posturing. What do you lot want anyway? Mmm, I see two would be dungeons, a companion and just another human. » The mind voice sounded irritated.

“Ah Liz my priceless preciousness, I was only making our guests welcome,” explained Riley.

Tammy’s mouth formed an O of surprise and she started to feel an urgent desire to leave this strange place. Becky looked round frantically trying to find where the voice was coming from.

Dave smiled, “Good day, Liz, um, may I call you Liz?”

« Yes. Now just what do you want with me. Be quick about it before I loose my drop bears. »

“Well, Maddy and me are trying to arrange for some kind of organization or club of dungeons and proto-dungeons considering how, how uncertain and potentially hostile Earth is or could be to dungeons.”

« Well Dave, that’s a problem. Our best feasts come through combat after all, killing people tends to attract the attention of the law. So, have you any suggestions? »

Dave sighed, “Not really. Earth is not like Parthia after all. Tactics and practices that are understood and accepted on Parthia would render us outlaws on Earth. Though Linny seems to have no qualms in that regard.”

« She has qualms. She asked for help. Only one of us offered her help though. Mary Silvestre sold her the templates for military grade weapons and blueprints to create Wolverine beastfolk. I was just in time to grab those and the M16s. »

“For future favours? The me on Parthia owes her several of those. And Mary scares me. She is too cocksure of herself.”

« She can afford to be, she’s a godlike, and if she’s one of us she made it in less than a year, despite Azureia. »

Maddy choked off a laugh. “Mary refers to Azureia as the blue haired cow.”

« Hmm, and so she is. But she is also the goddess of dungeons. »

“Not of all dungeons any more. Several on Parthia have reverted to their original alliance and Mary has allied herself with the local Neptune.”

« An alliance. Very well, I am broadly in favour, now get out before I decide to feed on you. »

Dave glanced at Maddy and started to walk briskly towards the stairs, he was closely followed by the other three.

Several days later after dropping the sisters off in Brisbane, Dave looked at Maddy. “Hawaii next?”

Maddy spread her hands helplessly. “Yes. Let’s go back to Maui.”