《Carn Online: Second Chances》Chapter 12 - A Pest Problem

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The discussion out of game had been intense. Discussing how to grow the guild had been mostly between me and Ed, but in the end I had won over Ed by pointing out that if we allowed more than one extra person to join, we would lose our newly acquired guild level. It had taken the wind out of his sails, but it only handled the internal problems for the immediate future. It did nothing to deal with the influx of requests to join our guild. Nor the number of guilds demanding we lose the title.

After a little bit of persuasion I got Robin to take care of that. Basically she was just in charge of telling people what contract we offered, and tell them to bugger off if they did not want to sign it. No buts and ifs, sign or do not. We did not care.

She would tell the guilds that we would look forward to future cooperation, but we would not dissolve, delevel or somehow lose the achievement. That left me with the peace needed to go about my daily business. It was a little after noon that the next problem from my catastrophic oversight occurred.

I was at my usual spot by the east gate. I was in the middle of cooking up some food to sell, while also making glue and trying to make more manastone solution. It was great to multitask. We had just come back from another trip to the plains, visiting some sour joy patches. Different ones from earlier, which would allow the quality to rise in those patches we harvested the day before. This time I had to bribe them with some contributions points.

The problem that cropped up came in the form of a female exiting the east gate. Young, early twenties, voluptuous, dressed in surprisingly revealing modern clothes and with pink hair. Another, more mousy looking woman with brown hair followed her. That was actually unfair. She was a pretty woman, just not in an overt sexual way. I of course recognized the pink haired one, though only by her gamer tag: HannahVixen.

She was one of the main attractions on GameNewz. Seeing her up close triggered a flash of memory from my previous timeline. She had committed suicide for no appearant reason shortly after the release of Carn Online. I put my head down and concentrated on the skewers on the grill, hoping that she was not here about Blue Lotus. Though I could not come up with another explanation as to why she was in Blackport.

I had wrecked my brain what to do with all the sour joys, to be honest I only had a use of those at below average or higher quality. An old Blackport special sprung to mind: Sour Bombs. Since sour joys only grew around Blackport, it was more of an oddity than a staple consumable. However, the Sour Bombs could be useful against any living creatures relying on smell. It was not a big money earner, but should be able to provide a steady sales volume, I just did not have the time to create them as well as everything else.

Turning to Nise, next to me who looked extremely bored, I presented my idea, “Nise, I’ve an idea for something you can craft, using your Herbalism skill.”

“What is it?” she visibly perked up.

“It’s called a Sour Bomb. It’s a consumable that you throw in front of any living creature which rely on smell. Because of the smell they will try to find a way around. If you hit one, you can be lucky and it’ll spend time getting rid of the smell.”

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“Sounds, uhm, interesting,” she hesitated a bit.

“Yeah, it’s going to be a bit odious. So if you want to do it, we need to buy a new table to set up a bit away from the rest of it.”

“How do you make them?”

“You dry the sour joys, then crush them, can’t remember how many, and pack them in some thin paper pouches,” I admitted, I could not remember how many, but should not be too many. No more than a dozen.

“And where can I buy those pouches?” she asked.

Before I could answer, someone interrupted, “Hey, I’m from Ga—”

Turning to HannahVixen, I gave her my best teacher stare. The one that signal that you should stop speaking before you get in trouble, “I was just finishing a conversation here. I’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Listen, you can’t just ign—” she started to complain.

Turning back to Nise, I spoke loudly, “You can pick them up at Fillard’s. Take my cart, it'll make it easier to transport the table. And remember, only buy the poor quality paper, otherwise you’ll make crafting harder on yourself, for little gain. At least until you level up more.”

“Uhm, I’m—” Nise started, but then took a look at the sputtering reporter. It seemed like she decided that any excuse not to be here would be the right one, because she said in a rush, “Okay, I’ll be back later.”

As Nise headed off, I studiously ignored the woman in front of me, and moved the last of my skewers to the hot plate. I then sent messages to some of the players nearby, telling them I was open for business and that I would be buying rabbits. Before Ed’s party left they had eaten ten skewers, meaning I only had eleven left to sell. At least it levelled up my Cooking skill. Together with the two level ups in Herbalism and one in Alchemy earlier in the day, I hit level 5 and activated my own Satiety system.

“What can I help you with Miss—” and then realized I did not know what to call her, “Do you prefer Hannah or Vixen?”

She seemed slightly taken aback that I suddenly deigned to talk with her, but she quickly recovered, “Everyone calls me Vixen.”

Looking into her pale green eyes I saw a flash of some emotion, not really sure what. Even though it had only been a few weeks in this timeline since I had been a teacher, for the real me, it had been over six years. Six years were I did not interact a lot with people, on a deeper level. So my people reading skills were a bit rusty.

Chuckling, I clarified, “I didn’t ask what people call you, but what you prefer to be called.”

“Uhm,” again I seemed to surprise her, “I prefer Anna, but it’s better if you call me Hannah. What about you?”

“Ah, hiding your real name, while making it sound the same. I like it. My name is Damian,” I proffered my hand, which she took after a moment, “I’d like to apologize. It was an important conversation, but I was still a bit rude.”

“Eh,” she stared for a moment, “I guess it was me that was rude.”

“In that case, apology accepted, and let’s move on. I take it you’re here about the guild levelling up?”

“Yes, it was quite the surprise for everyone. Do you have time for an interview?” she seemed to have found her equilibrium.

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“Only if you’re okay with a few interruptions, and doing it while I work,” I offered, and then saw Petals was standing behind Hannah’s assistant, “Speaking of which, I got a customer. Come on over Petals, it’s okay.”

“But I’m trying to get an interview here, it’s a big honour,” Hannah sputtered indignantly.

“I’m not saying it isn’t, but I need to run my business, and grind my skills. I’m doing five things at time right now,” I explained and then turned my attention to Petals, “What do you’ve for me today?”

“Hi Damian,” Petals smiled and started piling up rabbits, “I’ve twelve rabbits for you. All level one, this soloing is hard.”

Handing handing her one gold and four silvers, I said, “You could join up with the two guys you played with the first day.”

“They’re teamed up with some guy running around in a loincloth, the testosterone is so thick you could cut it with a knife, so no thank you,” she smiled ruefully, “By the way, congratulations on levelling up the guild. Do you accept new members soon?”

“Well, if you’re still interested in the contract, we got one slot open, but not in the party, unfortunately.”

Frowning, she asked, “Why only one slot?”

“Otherwise we’ll go back to level zero. We only have eight hundred something points. To be level one it requires one hundred points per member, and we’re already seven.”

“Oh okay, I guess I’ll fly solo a bit longer then,” she grumbled and said her goodbyes. Before Hannah could even say anything, the rest of the independent players flocked up to me, and I sold the remaining skewers without satisfying the demand. A lot of players left grumbling for the town after selling me their rabbits. I bought another 70 or so.

Something peculiar occurred to me while serving my customers, none of them looked twice at her. And with most of them being young males, the chances of not one of them ogling her in those revealing clothes, was highly unlikely. I then recalled that reporter accounts had a glamour spell that would allow them to travel incognito. Except for those they wished to communicate with, all players would see was an average male avatar. However, once they started recording the glamour would fall away.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” I said apologetic to Hannah, and checked in on my alchemical cauldron. It had been simmering for ten minutes, running on a fire manastone I had bought earlier in the day. And I was lucky, it had provided a poor acidic liquid on the first try. Dropping twelve fire cores into it, I crossed my fingers that it would be a success. That done, I turned my attention back to Hannah, and sat down to meditate, “Go ahead, ask your questions. I got ten minutes or so before I need to do something.”

“You’re very rude!” she exploded, face flushed in anger.

“I’m a busy man, I don’t have time to stop and indulge a reporter looking for a story”

“Don’t you know who I am and what the interview can do for you guild?” she looked very pissed. The last time a woman had looked that pissed at me, I had forgotten a former girlfriend’s birthday. Lost track of what day it was.

“Because I don’t want to be overly rude, I’ll agree to the interview on my terms. But what it can do for my guild is nothing but trouble. I don’t want this kind of attention,” I countered, and kept my eyes on hers. From my seated position I would have a good view otherwise, but it would be rude.

“Why not?” she took a few deep breaths, seemingly trying to calm down.

“Is this part of the interview, or do you want to start over?” I asked. Which seemed to catch her off guard.

“I guess we should start over,” she said after a moment, before waving her assistant over, “This is Milena, my camera woman and assistant.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Miss Milena, please excuse my rudeness at not offering you my hand. I don’t want to interrupt my meditation,” I greeted with an apologetic smile.

“Hi,” she offered with a huff, and then turned to Hannah, “We’re rolling, I’ll just cut it later.”

“Okay,” Hannah nodded, and started to say something, but then stopped. She looked irritated. After a few seconds, she gave an exasperated sigh, “We’ll wait until you’re working, I can’t really interview if you’re sitting down and I’m standing.”

“Why don’t you sit down then?”

“Uh, my clothes are not really made for sitting down,” she said with a tone like it should be obvious why not.

“Then change to something more practical, there’s no reason for you to be half-naked anyway,” I offered with a shrug, “Not if you want to be taken seriously.”

“It’s corporate policy,” she informed me, through gritted teeth.

“Then corporate are a bunch of perverted fools.”

“No comment,” she said with a slight smile, and we lapsed into silence until I finished meditating. I waved her off when I stood up, because I had to check on the cauldron. It was a flawed success, leaving me with a very poor fire manastone solution. Not optimal, but at least I would be able to create my own fire manastones, and not spend a gold on each.

Throwing in some new sour joys to start a new batch, I turned my attention to the pile of rabbits next to my table. It was quite huge. Normally I would keep some in my personal inventory and the rest in the cart, but with Nise using my cart, it was not an option. I started butchering the rabbit, and gave the go ahead for Hannah to start her interview.

“Do you really need to be doing that?” she asked, sounding a bit queasy.

“Yes, I’ve paid good money for them, and the longer they lay out here in the open, the faster they spoil,” I replied as I started pulling the pelt from the body. Hannah gagged a bit.

After I finished with the first rabbit, which provided only bones of poor quality, she finally started the interview, “Hi, this is HannahVixen, I’m reporting to you from inside Carn Online. I’m in Blackport, scored ‘Undesirable’ by the beta testers. One beta tester described it as ‘the south end of a northbound cow’, whatever that means.

“However, Blackport is also the home of Blue Lotus, the first guild to reach level one and thus the first recognized guild in Carn Online, an honour stolen right from underneath the noses of Dawnguard. Some of you might recall the name Blue Lotus from a trending video earlier in the week. We’re here to talk with the guild leader of Blue Lotus, Damian Heosphoros, an unknown player of an unknown guild.

“We’d like to caution young and sensitive viewers, since we’re interviewing him while he’s butchering rabbits.”

She turned to me, studiously looking at my face, making sure not to look down at the rabbit, “Hello Damian, thanks for taking the time for this interview.”

“I’d say you’re welcome, but since I’m making you do it while I’m working, I would be lying. Nevertheless, thanks for accommodating me,” I said with a smile, and chopped off the head off the rabbit I was butchering, making her wince at the thud made by the cleaver hitting the table.

“You’re welcome,” she struggled keeping a straight face, “It was quite the achievement, you must be happy about it.”

“Not really,” I placed the loot in the correct containers, and grabbed a new one.

“No?” she sounded confused, “Why aren’t you happy about it?”

“It was an unintended consequence of me turning in all three starter quests. It makes us a target for other guilds, and we’ve no interest in guild politics, or competing with other guilds.”

She blinked a few times, processing what I said, before asking her next question, “As far as the beta testers know, there’s no additional rewards for turning in the starter quests, nor do they reward any guild points.”

I must admit, her knowledge about the beta test surprised me. Maybe I had fallen into the trap of thinking of her as an airhead, because of how she dressed and usually acted. It was wrong, but an easy assumption to make. And as they say about assumptions. I stopped my musings, and provided her with a smile, “It seems that the developers have added a few extra things since the beta. But you’re right, it was only because I was the first to complete it that I got all those guild points. Though the regular reward is nothing to scoff at either.”

“Oh, what does it provide?” she asked with a bit of hunger in her voice. I reckoned a few pro tips would make her clips popular.

“I’ve actually not checked the permanent effect of the achievement, only the instant reward,” I replied and pulled up the information needed, “Okay, it provides a one percent increase to all reputation gains for your starter city. For the instant reward, it’s a good one. The twenty five reputation points with the Adventurers’ Association might not be worth it, but the upgrade point is definitely worth it.”

“An upgrade point?” she muttered, staring for a few seconds, before continuing, “Okay, so it was a fortuitous event that you managed to level up your guild?”

“Indeed, but honestly it’s not surprising. The way the system is tailored, a small guild needs just a bit of luck, and they get the level up. Where it’s hard work and discipline for a big guild. The real story is not that we became first, but that Dawnguard was able to hit level one in just a few days ingame. It’s a major accomplishment for a big guild like them,” I somehow managed to keep a straight face. At least I hoped. I reckoned it would not be a bad idea, trying to diffuse the situation by throwing some praise their way.

“But isn’t it a bigger achievement to be first?” she needled.

“Not really. Look at it like this. You’ve two men. Each one is holding a credstick with a hundred million on them. The one that earned the money the fastest was just lucky and won the lottery. The other spent time, money and sweat to build a company that earned him that money. Who should we really admire? The guy who got lucky? The guy who earned it?”

“When you put it like that,” she commented after a thoughtful pause, “So from your earlier statement, I take it that you wish it did not happen?”

“True,” I replied and looked at the crowd that had started gathering. It would seem that Hannah’s presence had been noticed. They were loudly whispering, but remained at a respectful distance.

“But it has happened, and your guild is a hot topic on the discussion forums. Many have tried to join, but have been met with a very harsh contract. Demands of manual mode combat and crafting, have people calling you ‘elitists snobs’ amongst other unflattering things. Why is it that you’ve such stringent requirements?”

“If Blue Lotus had been a normal guild, it would be great to be a hot topic and have many applicants. But it’s also a bad thing. If we accepted all those members, we would lose the level, and for all I know the achievement might be rescinded. However, the reason for the harsh contracts are not because of elitism. Well it might be actually. You saw the clip where Kira beat those two in a duel, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it was a bit unfair. She’s been training martial arts for years, but everyone can learn basic martial arts, and they would still have had an eighty percent chance of winning that fight. The manual mode is superior to system assisted mode. Same for crafting.”

“How did you know that?”

“Well, you demonstrated quite a bit of knowledge about the beta testing earlier. While it was a fact that they tried to hide, if you know the right people and places to look, the information did leak. However, to return to your earlier question. The reason we’ve stringent requirements is that we’re not a normal guild.”

Confusion showed on her face, “What do you mean?”

“We’re not here to play and have fun. For us it’s work and that means to complete our mission.”

“Mission?”

“Almost everyone in the guild was on the verge of being put in comas due to the Initiative. Our mission is to earn enough money in here to keep that from happening, and hopefully in time pull more people out of the boxes. Not by taking in random players, but by hiring people who’re right now in those awful boxes.”

“Tha— That’s an admirable goal,” she seemed taken aback.

“I like to think so too. It’s why we’ve the stringent requirements. Not to insult anyone, but most of those that wish to join us, are doing it because of our fifteen seconds of fame. We need stability to support our members, and we don’t do that by becoming embroiled in guild politics or taking in everyone applying.”

“I see,” she paused for a moment, “Just to sate my own curiosity, if your goal is to make money, why are you paying more money for the rabbits, than the loot is worth?”

“Excuse me for a moment,” I went over to check on the alchemical cauldron. It was another flawed success. This time I threw some air cores into it. To make sure I did not interrupt the interview by meditating again, I sat down on the table to do my Meditation.

She had an annoyed look at her face for a moment, before she schooled her expression, “My question was—”

“I remember,” I interrupted her, “I’m paying more than it’s worth if you just loot them, however, if you’re using Butchery you get better quality, most of the time, and there are more possible loot. I’m not saying I’m earning money on each rabbit, some I lose quite a bit on. But in the end I should get out ahead.”

“So you’re saying that parties should invest in the Butchery skill?”

“A better investment might be corpse bags, they’re expensive, but butchering takes time, and it’s not always possible to take that time,” I answered, but my attention was no longer on Hannah, instead it was on the group of Blood Bears that were moving towards my stall. I also noticed a single Bear approaching from another direction.

“Okay, I think that answers all the questions I have, is it okay if I come back at a—” she started asking.

She was interrupted, when the Bears suddenly rushed my stall, a bunch of them grabbing a rabbit or two each, while the lone player grabbed the alchemical cauldron. Someone shouted instructions, I think it was Iron Bear, “Protect Acid, he got the most valuable loot!”

They ran away from the town, interposing themselves between the guard on the wall and the Bear with my cauldron. Arrow after arrow rained down, pinning players to the spot, while one of the gate guards started walking after them. The other guard headed towards us. I remained seated. Not because I was shocked, but because it was a laughable attempt at hurting me.

Speaking of laughing, Iron Bear stepped out of the crowd of players observing HannahVixen, “Hah, we got your precious cauldron. It’s worth two platinum. If you want it back, disband your guild.”

“You guys must be idiots,” I shook my head and saw that the Bears had stopped running. They had gone outside what was considered the town’s safezone. Only six of them had been stopped by the guard’s arrows, and the other guard was slowly approaching them. The crowd was staring in silence, and Milena had a wide smile on her face, as she kept moving her arms. Probably moving cameras around to catch the action. Hannah on the other hand had big eyes, as she silently reported on what was going on.

“You’re the idiot!” he screamed red faced, “They’re outside the safezone, there’s nothing the guards can do. Sure, they might send six of my guys to respawn, but we got a lot of your valuables. Even if we don’t get Dawnguard’s bounty, it’s still a win.”

Seeing that the guard was within hearing range, I reckoned it was time to give them a wake up call, “Must we really do this again. I mean, you should’ve learned your lesson by now. Who the hell thought up such a moronic plan?”

“I did,” he growled, “And it’s a great plan, you only have five players. The bitch might be a good fighter, but she can’t handle all of us. You’ll never get back the things we stole, unless you do as we say.”

“I don’t need my guild to handle this, you made an error in judgement and you continue to prove your stupidity,” I countered. A moment later five guardsmen rode out of the gate, heading for the Bears standing calling obscenities at me. They did look shocked when the first guard threw a net over a couple of them.

“What’s happening?” Iron shouted as he watched more of his men being caught beneath the nets. Two of them ran as fast as they could, but got killed by a bunch of rabbits soon after, dropping all their items.

“What’s happening is that you’re under arrest,” the gate guard said, as chains materialized out of thin air, wrapping around Iron Bear. When he started screaming obscenities, a gag appeared in his mouth, “Please remain silent.”

“Thank you for apprehending the thieves,” I nodded at the guard, as I saw the guards bringing back their prisoners. The loot from the dead guys was still piled up on the ground, guarded by a cluster of rabbits.

“You’ve paid for the protection, so of course. Now let us see about sentencing,” the guard commented as he started counting the rabbits that had been stolen, “I count ten rabbits stolen, by seven different people. Including the alchemical cauldron, I count eight counts of theft. Since all of them were in on it, they’re each accountable for each count. Since they’re all Travellers, we can apply the normal penalty.”

“What’s the normal penalty?” Hannah asked, while Iron Bear struggled to get out and screamed into his gag.

“Death, each of them will be killed eight times in the square,” the guard stated loudly. The crowd gasped, and then started laughing. The Bears started protesting, but was soon gagged. Iron Bear went pale.

I grinned at him, and then casually asked the guard, “What about the attempted blackmail?”

“Oh, I had forgotten that one. That’s another three deaths,” the guard then handed me the different items that had been stolen, as well as a pouch containing a platinum and one gold coin, “Here’s your items, sorry about the potion you were brewing. The coin has been confiscated from the perpetrators. One gold for each death they’ll suffer, as well as ten gold in compensation for the ruined alchemical concoction.”

“Thank you, guardsman,” I smiled at him. My smile grew wider as I watched the Bears being led away. The small finger wave seemed to piss of Iron Bear who started struggling even harder. Most of the crowd followed the procession heading into town.

Hannah looked torn, looking between me and the Bears. She finally asked, “How did you know it would turn out like that? I mean you had to have known, otherwise you wouldn’t have remained that calm.”

“Didn’t you read the technical information released by Perennial?”

“Maybe,” she hedged. Probably meant she did not. It was boring stuff after all.

“Even the testers mentioned it. The AI is highly sophisticated. It might actually be Artificial Life. Confessing in front of a cop in our world would lead to consequences, the same will happen here. If you want a good relationship with the Natives, treat them as if they were alive.”

“I read what the testers reported, but not that it would be this sophisticated,” Hannah admitted.

“If you want to catch the executions, you should hurry,” I grinned, and stretched my legs before jumping down.

“Won’t there be a trial?”

“Sure, it’ll take all of ten seconds, when the Priest calls for Qhemtyx to pass judgement. Since the God of Judgement sees all. Well, the executions will start immediately. And respawn timer has been removed.”

“How do you know that?”

I was bad at this. I kept providing more information than was readily available, “A beta tester I know told me.”

She did not look entirely convinced, but she did bid me goodbye, before she and Milena hurried after the guards. I stayed, and reorganized everything. And put a new batch of sour joys in the cauldron. Only a few players had not followed the guards. Petals was one of them It seemed she had teamed up with three others, to take a run at the loot dropped by the two guys. A minute later, Nise came back with a weird look on her face, “Why did the guards arrest those players?”

Laughing, I started explaining everything.

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