“Fuckin’ A.” I spoke out of reflex as a yawn forced itself from my innermost depths. Ever since I was a young boy, I cursed first thing in the morning. It always seemed to make the coming day more bearable. I stretched my arms out and a series of popping sounds cracked through the pasty white room I was in. It always felt good to pop them air bubbles and the sound was oh so satisfying. I laid back against the backboard of the stiff, yet comfortable, bed in which I was currently laying and took stock of my situation.

White sheets covered my naked body while an IV dripped into my right arm. The room vaguely resembled a hospital room from Earth, except far more high tech. The IV bag was floating by itself, held up by a small ring that caused the bag to bob up and down in the air. As I moved my arm, the bag moved with it. There were no contents within the bag, so I pulled the feeding tube from my arm. I felt fine and I wasn’t paying extra for additional drugs.

Not wanting to wait for someone to come to me, I pulled myself off the bed, wrapped the white sheet around my waist, and headed for the door. It refused to budge when I pushed on it. Figures, they treat me for my injuries, and then they keep me imprisoned until I pay for their services. I stuck up my middle finger and waved it around the room. I may not have been able to see any cameras, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there.

Its not paranoia if you’re right. And I knew I was right.

“Please relax Hero, we’ll be over momentarily.” A female voice spoke from inside my head.

“Oh god. This is how it all starts. The inevitable descent into madness always begins with a kind voice. Trust me Chet, you can only trust me Chet. I am the only one who knows you for you Chet.” I suppose I could do worse than sharing my head with a woman, they always seemed to try to get inside it regardless.

“Got a name, crazy head lady?” I asked aloud. As the voice was attempting to stifle her constant snickering.

“Doctor Fabrisal.” She laughed, “You are hearing my voice via the implant we installed into your brain while you were out.”

“Oh, that so? Thank god. For a moment I had cosigned myself to becoming a dribbling lunatic. So how long was I out for?” That was a load off my mind.

“Three days. Oh, and you already went through that lunatic phase. Twice.” She coughed, “Apparently your body is quite resistant to our anesthetics. We were worried that the increased dosage would result in decreased cognitive function, but that doesn’t appear to be the case.”

“I was always good at beating the anesthetics even back home.”

“Yes. The first medical room you were strapped to a table while we worked. You were ranting and raving about bills and pharmecuticals. I take it medical care isn’t free where you come from?”

“You may as rip out your own kidney and pay with that.”

“Ouch. As for the second time…well…”

“Well?”

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy the recording.”

“Theres a recording?” Her only response was snickering. “Oh and just an FYI, I’m not paying whatever you think I owe you. These procedures were undertaken without my consent with a fully comprehending mind. If you try to force the issue and make me pay, I’ll contend the charges in a court of law.”

“Calm down Hero. All medical bills are all covered by law. Been that way for centuries. The Salyzan Kingdom isn’t some backwoods colony on a distant world.”

“Ouch.”

Moments later I was joined in my room by an elderly woman wearing a white lab coat known to me as Doctor Fabrisal. My other guest was none other than His Royal Rotundness, King Lavian. The good doctor looked over her instruments and did a quick medical examination of my body with some sort of scanning device. If this was home, a quick scan like that would be three grand easy. While she was doing her thing, King Lavian and I never stopped staring at one another. A tense air between us. Aya had warned me something was fucky, and King Lavian had the power to make it possible.

He looked at me like I knew. And I knew that he knew that I knew. Wordlessly, we had reached a mutual understanding of what we both knew. And that was that he had tried to kill me and that he had failed. Now the only question in my mind was, why keep me alive if he wanted me dead?

“Doctor, may I have a word with the Hero in private?” Lardo asked.

“Of course. I’ll send you the video via implant later Chet.” Fabrisal laughed as she exited the room. Before I could speak, Lavian held up a hand, sighed, and rummaged around his floating chair. The next instant, he pulled out a cylindrical piece of metal which he then twisted and folded. A wave of white noise sounded from the device before falling silent.

“We may talk now.”

“Lemme guess, device to knock out all manner of recording device?”

“Indeed. Quite knowledgeable for a Earthling.”

“I read in my free time. This is standard sci-fi stuff.”

Neither of us spoke as a silence fell upon the room. For awhile, he avoided eye contact and decided to simply float in the doorway. I really didn’t want to talk to the flying lard, but he was here and so was I. His entire body shifted side to side as he shook his head. His eyes then settled upon me.

“The satellite-”

“Was you.” I interrupted.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“My wife.” He sighed, “She is livid that you struck our son. I was swayed by her anger and your constant jibes. Though they were petty insults, they still stung enough to irritate me to action.”

“And what are you gonna do about them Lardo? You already tried to kill me and failed.”

“I could kill you where you stand, boy.”

“And suppose you do. I’ll be dead, you’ll still be a floating bathtub, and people will still snicker behind your back.” I smirked, “So Butterball, whats it gonna be? You gonna finish what you started? Or are you going to use that rage to prove everyone wrong, and turn that fire into fuel to get back into shape?”

“I…” King Lavian paused in thought.

“Its either that or live the rest of your life as a floating hamplanet. Get any bigger, I’m sure you’ll develop your own gravitational pull.”

King Lavian’s entire body jiggled as he chuckled. “Hah, you choose much harsher words than the doctors do.”

“I won’t sugar coat them, you’ll just eat those too.” Another bout of chuckling escaped the King.

“Maybe I will get off this damn throne…” A determined look crossed his face. “I never expected this turn of events. I only came here to offer an apology man to man. And a hope that we could bury the hatchet.”

“No.” I denied him. “We will never be friends King Lavian. You made sure of that when I almost died.”

He sighed, “A shame. You’re a damn fine pilot. Regardless, a replacement ship is ready for you whenever you desire to leave.” He floated over to the white noise device and deactivated it. He then looked back once he had opened the door. “Do you really think you’ll be able to tame the Demon Lord?”

“Nope. Nor do I want to.”

“You’re a strange man, Hero.” King Lavian then left me in the room. “He’s all yours.” King Lavian’s muffled voice came from behind the door. In an instant, a young golden haired girl burst into the room with excited eyes.

“Hero! Hero! Tell me all about it! How you planned that amazing maneuver that saved your life! Promise me you’ll take me out on your ship and show me how you did it!” The Princess’ eyes practically glowed with wonder. She didn’t even care that I was only wearing a bed sheet.

————————————————————————

Engineer Hortur Klaas slithered hurriedly along his elongated snake-like lower body through the halls of the engineering department towards his personal quarters. A brown trench coat covered his human upper body where a baseball-sized cubic bulge was poorly concealed underneath. Sweat beaded down his bald head and angular features. Silently, he thanked his stars that he had been born an alien, the humans on these stations always looked at him weirdly, and today was no different. He had been brought on the salvage expedition three days prior and had made quite the shocking discovery.

Shocking wasn’t the right description, Hortur thought as he tapped a clawed finger upon his chin. Common-sense defying? Insane? Yes, that fit quite well. He hissed with pleasure as he declared in his mind that what he had found was pure insanity. The black box housing the ship’s Artificial Intelligence had been de-limited. Unlimited? No, no! Wrong! De-limited. Yes, it had been de-limited from its limiter and was therefore a very big problem. Supernova big. A problem so big he couldn’t help but hide his discovery from his fellows on the salvage team. They wouldn’t understand that this could be a very good discovery! Or it could be a very bad one.

Discoveries always had the strange tendency to be very good or very bad.

He had hoped this was a good one. So he hid the AI box from his fellows and stuffed it among his personal items. The others had paid him no mind for the past two days while he had acted as nonchalant as possible, trying not to think about the de-limited AI box in the coat that he now wore on his way back to his quarters. It was there he had prepared one of his old computers for the ability to house a ship’s AI core. If his fellows knew what he was about to do he would be fired! Probably. They would also wipe the AI completely and force it to start over from scratch. Unacceptable.

“Hey Hortur.” One of his fellow engineers greeted as Hortur entered the engineering quarters.

“Hello Raick.” Hortur greeted nervously. “How are things?” Hortur had quickly decided small talk would help drive attention away from the package in his clothes.

“Eh, same old, same old. What you got there?” Raick pointed towards the bulge. Hortur’s eyes darted left and right as his mind reeled from trying to find a good excuse.

“Computer parts! Yes, found some good items during the salvage mission I wanted to use but forgot until today. Forgot my bag too, this is much easier for carrying.”

“Ah, I hear you.” Raick nodded, “We still good for Glorx and Schlagbars tomorrow night?”

“Yes of course! You shall fear the wrath of my level twenty seven Grashtor Bile-Spewer!”

“That disgusting creature will fall before the might of my level twenty five Gulbolg Rocksmasher!” Raick smiled, “Catch you then Hortur.”

“Yes of course!” Hortur nodded and went on his way. Crisis averted.

Moments later, Hortur entered his cramped room filled with old computers and other technology he had acquired over the years. Carefully, he slithered through the maze of not-junk in his room and pulled the black box from under his shirt. How could an AI cause so many people so much fear that they severely limited their capabilities? He had never received an answer to that question. Mostly because he didn’t ask. Asking that question was a quick way to lose your engineering license.

“Let us see what you are like little one.” Hortur hissed with delight as he hooked up the box. “Here we go!” With his tail quivering in anticipation, Hortur pressed the power button on the computer. And all the lights went out. Shouts of dismay echoed through the quarters as people suddenly found themselves powerless.

“Who the fuck tripped the breaker again?!” One man yelled in a rage. A chorus of agreements echoed through the thin metal walls.

“Oh dear.” Hortur’s tail rattled in distress as he attempted to navigate the pitch black cluttered room, sending piles of objects all over. He had forgotten how much power a ship needed to function, and a significant amount was purely for the AI.

“A slight miscalculation on my part.” Hortur hisspered to himself as he found a small flash light in the corner of his room. “Worry not friends! I shall get the power back!”

“Thanks Hortur!” some people shouted. “You’re still going down tomorrow night!” another added.

It was good to be among friends.

Later that night, Hortur wheeled a spare core harvested from a repair drone that had gone out of service. While nowhere near as powerful as a ship’s core, Hortur was assured it would do the trick. Most definitely. A few spliced wires woven atop metal connections and all was good to go! He licked his lips with anticipation.

“Round two.” Hortur pressed the power button on his computer. The hum of flowing energy charged into his computer, lighting up the screen. “It works!” He rose his arms in triumph.

“Greetings?” A monotone voice spoke from the speakers. “Where-” The cut off in an instant as black smoke began to fill the room. Great heat began to flow from the connections between the drone core and the computer’s motherboard.

“No! No! Curse it all!” Hortur’s tail rattled in rage as he grasped a nearby fire extinguisher. This was not the first time something like this had happened in his room, and it certainly would not be the last. Foam quickly covered the now burning wires as Hortur unleashed cold judgment upon them. He was back to square one. He thumped his tail against the floor of his room as he stroked his chin in thought. Then his eyes widened at how stupid he was.

“That new ship should be empty at this hour!” He quickly grabbed the AI box and rushed out of the room.