As I sat in the rest area I messaged an acquaintance to warn me of several things then I watched my bonded. Even with her head covered by a pillow, her entire body seemed to droop with what I assumed was embarrassment and shame. And I did nothing to comfort her, even though I knew I should, because, though I hid it better, I also felt shame and embarrassment. Shame because, through my acting disgusted, I let her think that I didn’t want that kiss, and embarrassment because all I could think about was that sensation of being complete and whole for the first time in my life. How the fuck was I supposed to live without that now that I’d experienced it?

Should I just give up and be with Mia?

And let us become so absorbed in each other that we destroy our lives as well as those around us? Just look at Davis, he was so enthralled with his bonded that he didn’t even lock the door to his office. And in a few weeks, after I turned in his books, his clan would be punished for tax evasion. If he’d been more attentive this wouldn’t have happened and I would have been caught.

Bonds destroyed lives. But I could no longer pretend that I didn’t want mine, even if just a little. But, did I want it even if I destroyed myself and others?

I didn’t have any time to contemplate these complex feelings or decide what I was going to do, if anything, because my acquaintance finally notified me that a couple was coming to the rest area. So we left.

As soon as I re-entered the main ballroom I was dragged away from Mia by a coterie of my local fans. They were very respectful of my privacy normally, but that just made them more rabid for my attention during social events.

We rounded the party doing all the small contests. I gave out compliments to each of them when necessary, using their names and building up goodwill.

Eventually, it was time for me to go up. I was in a good mood and excited for the future for the first time in a long while.

With a quick message, I let the NPC musicians know what song I would play. They would accompany me when I started.

I sat on the beautiful chair the Crimsondahlia’s had prepared for the finalists. After I grabbed my Lutzithen from my inventory I began the song. Notes flew from my fingers to wrap around the listeners and enthrall them. A few close spectators showed excited grins as they recognized the song intro.

I gazed out at the audience, making eye contact with a few people here and there. Then I reached Mia. I really wanted to just watch her, but my eye caught on a familiar pink hue. I shouldn’t go further. I should just ignore it and keep playing. But it called to me like a spider to an arachnophobe.

I looked. It was a mistake.

All of my muscles tensed. I stopped playing. My eyes met that creature’s and I saw its smiling face. A mask of beauty. An evil torture loving thing. Sitting there, looking harmless. But it was not harmless. Especially not to me.

A weight pressed against my chest. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t focus. Wanted to run but my body refused to listen. Eventually, the world dimmed.