Post by Anonymous 9:53 AM April 3rd, 20XX

I'm writing this because I currently work in the White House. These aliens calling themselves Passivity Precept, as if that name fools anyone, finally returned POTUS. But something’s not right about him. He looks younger, healthier, has lost weight but he acts older. Well, he actually acts like a politician which is nothing like the president I voted for. It’s terrifying. I’m pretty sure they replaced him with one of their own and he’s about to give the country away to them. Fortunately, we have a system of checks and balances so those alien assholes can’t do whatever they have planned. Honestly, ya’ll should hear what this new POTUS is saying behind closed doors. He’s been brainwashed to think they’re the best thing since sliced bread. Says he’s spent years with them when he’s only been gone days! He's gone nuts. I’m considering getting his staff together and convincing them to 25th amendment his ass out of office.

A part of myself... a sizeable misguided part of myself, wanted to stop walking towards my next destination and immediately find Mia. It wasn’t the bond or anything silly like that, I assured myself, I just really wanted to test out my theory that I could finally exit the sim. Freedom was an enthralling possibility, after all. More enthralling than the bond… right? Right?

I stopped. The woman behind me almost ran into my back and gave me a cross look as she stepped around me.

Maybe I should go back? There had to be some way that I could help raise her level faster. And if I spent time with her, I could use my high charisma to befriend her. The quicker I befriended her, the earlier I could leave.

I turned on my heel to return and received another prompt.

Warning! You have not slept despite previous warnings. You are severely sleep deprived and about to become too exhausted to continue! Go find a bed already!

I sighed. It had a point. I had to reach out to my contacts for specific research and use that to come up with an infiltration strategy. If I had an increased exhaustion status, my methods for investigating could swiftly be ruined by a few misplaced words. I couldn’t afford that, not when I was so close to freedom. First sleep, then continuing my plans.

***

I repeatedly blinked as I opened my eyes to a dark room at my favorite Inn, Ghost of the Moon Inn. I preferred to sleep here when I had a choice with its masterwork paintings, a fantastically beautiful restroom, and all the amenities an adventuring bard could want if I only asked. But something was different. I focused on my chat window. Several of the messages I sent earlier had replies.

Martalan Bluebell: I knew you’d want it back. I’ll trade it for the Wasprope you picked up on your last run.

Yolin Indagodreams: Yes. I can meet you, and I have what you want. No trades, only marks. I also acquired some interesting artifacts you’ll want to see.

Reneou Grayslayer: I can't get you a map of the Crimsondahlia townhouse, but I’ve found an NPC who helped build it and worked on the remodels. I can set up a meeting, but it’ll cost you. 5000 PMk. No item exchange.

I grimaced. Everyone wanted to screw me over, like usual. I focused on Reneou’s reply and decided to deal with it first since I needed to find out the actual layout of the office before I purchased supplies.

Lorevinel Silvercat: 5k! For a 10 minute meeting. That’s robbery! 500!

Reneou Grayslayer: Hey. It’s covering the cost of paying the NPC for his silence for a few years.

Lorevinel Silvercat: You have a small point. But I’ll only need a few weeks of silence at most. 1k!

Reneou Grayslayer: 2k. You forget about travel, food, and drinks.

Lorevinel Silvercat: What? Are we paying for him to have top shelf Oscarvinte-Salbul? 1.5k!

Reneou Grayslayer: You’re breaking my heart, but meet us at General Thugg’s in 2 hours. Bring the marks.

I stared at the other two messages from my regular suppliers. Maybe my bonded would like some jewelry and a pretty dress to go along with the things I needed to buy for the mission? And wouldn’t she look so lovely in Silvercat sapphire? I cringed at the unwelcome stray thoughts.

I would not let myself be romantic and thoughtful like some kind of obsessive fool. That kind of thinking was a slippery slope to a trap I didn’t need. I would be friendly and stringent. I would only buy things we needed. And she definitely would not get a pretty gown for the party. It would have to be something ugly, in throw-up brown.

But first I had to get through the meeting with the NPC contractor.

***

I slid into the same booth I met Reneou in earlier and waited. It didn’t take long for a dark-haired man wearing carpenter’s gear to walk into the tavern. I gestured to the seat in front of me and he jerkily nodded.

Once he slipped into the booth, I pressed my hand to my chest and introduced myself. He didn’t do the same, only bobbing his head and curling his fingers repeatedly to ask for his cash.

With a painful grimace, I extracted the marks and slid them across the table.

He smiled as he counted them. When they disappeared into his inventory he began. “I’m Vedisin. I’ll keep this conversation private since I know what’s good for me and what’s good for me is not getting on the Crimsondalia’s bad side.”

“Can you start from how to get to the office from the ballroom?”

The contractor tapped on the table and closed his eyes. “The ballroom is this pretty thing, oval-like, made entirely out of glass and Steelwood. Even the roof. It took way too long to build, but that’s a story for another day... Most of its doors lead outside to the porch or garden, but the north side connects to the main house. There are 3 doors there. All three go into the main house, but you’re gonna want the middle most.”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll take you toward the restrooms and give you a good excuse to leave the party for 20 minutes or so.” He chuckled.

I cleared my throat, and my cheeks burned a little. Since the Passivity Precept didn’t see a need to include regular urination and defecation in its violence simulator for the players, there were only two reasons for someone to use the restroom at a party: to freshen up (usually, this meant reapplying their makeup and fixing their clothes), or to have a clandestine rendezvous that, for the brave or exhibitionist, could include coitus. “Fine. So after I take the middle door, where do I go?”

“Continue down the hallway, past the restrooms. When you come to the first hallway, turn left and enter the second door on the right. There will be a fake office to throw off regular thieves. What you’re gonna want to do is find the secret door.”

I frowned. I’d been making a mental map as he spoke and focused on his weather-worn but still young face. “You don’t know where the secret entrance is?”

“The office is built like a circle, but just pretend it’s a square and the door you entered through is in the middle of one of its sides. There are four possible entrances to the underground office, one at each corner. But only one secret door is active at any time. If you try to use the wrong one, it’ll ‘port you to the dungeon and then you’ll be fucked worse than a virgin whore.”

I ignored the NPCs throwback dialogue that might have been appropriate a thousand years ago but definitely wasn’t now. “So, how do I find the right way?”

He shrugged. “Look. I just built the structure and watched them put in all the good stuff. They didn’t show me how any of it worked. I only know about the secret door swaps because I overheard the Crimsondahlia talk about hiring an enchanter to do the work.”

“Fine, I believe you. I’ll find a way to recognize the right door later. Let’s pretend I already have, now what?”

“Now you’ll have to face a series of traps. I don’t know which ones you’ll face, or even if they’ve updated them from when I built the place, but in general they all use a simple spider web tripwire that’s near impossible to spot unless you use your day vision.”

“Right, I’ll bring a light source so I can spot them.”

“It’s harder to do than you think.”

“I imagine. Now what?”

“You’ll reach the bottom and depending on the door you entered, you’ll either run into zombie panthers or gargoyles.”

“Wait! His office has gargoyles defending it? Big, made of stone, practically indestructible unless you find the right spot to hit them?”

“Level 30s too,” the NPC said.

I shuddered but didn’t let that discourage me. “Okay. Tell me about the safe.”

“An Ondale Bluebane special. They’re basically impenetrable.”

“I don’t plan to penetrate it, just finesse my way in.”

He snorted. “A safe’s not a woman, lad.”

I snorted. “Ladies are harder to crack and aren’t nearly so delicate. Now, give me details!”

He rolled his eyes. “The safe comes with its own pixie. If it sees any strangers within 5 feet, it sets off an alarm that rings through the whole mansion and teleports guards directly to the room.”

“Difficult but not impossible to bypass,” I said.

He scoffed. “Maybe, but you’ll have to find it first.”

“Huh?”

“It’s invisible and teleports around the office in a pattern only the Crimsondahlia knows.”

I held back a curse but nodded. “What else?”

“What do you mean what else? Can't you see how impossible it is to break in there already? Especially for a level 4 nobody like yourself?”

“I’ll have help.” Near worthless help, but I still counted it.

“What? You getting some level 30 rogue to help you?”

“No.”

“Then you might as well walk up to the Crimsondahlia and turn yourself in. It’ll save you time and money.”

“Let me worry about that.” I paused. “You sure that’s everything?”

“Everything I know. If I don’t then they added it after I left.”

I nodded. “Thank you. If you think of anything else, please get ahold of me through Reneou”

He stood from the booth and shuffled out of the tavern. I sighed. Now I would have to foot the bill for a very expensive shopping excursion, and maybe even a trip to the Enchanter’s society. If I didn’t prepare for every possibility Mia and I would be so very fucked. That was unacceptable.