Post by Anonymous 11:23 AM, April 3rd, 20XX

I’m a guard at a minimum security prison. On April 1st a massive amount of prisoners started vanishing. At first, we thought there was a huge breakout and nobody knew what was happening. Then we watched the footage. These guys disappeared into the PPVS. You’d think they’d need to come back and eat or sleep but they just stay there. It's three days later and all of the prisoners are gone, except the ones about to be let go for good behavior. Our warden is freaked. Since we’re a for-profit prison we’re not sure if the government will even rely on us again. This is nuts. I could be out of the job!

Okay, I admit that the whole elven Eenie Meenie Miney Mo thing was weird, but I had the feeling he’d randomly picked me for something with the tacit approval of the woman who sat on the guild throne.

Our guide clapped gaining my attention. “Listen up, noobs! This is the head of the Rogues guild, of which, you are now part of. Step up to her, and she’ll assign you a class.”

“What do you mean, assign?” Barrett said. “What if I don’t like the class this bitch gives me?”

“Hold!” The leader said. That was when I noticed the guide was about to murder the mouthy Darwin Award winner. She stepped up to him. “You’re free to not choose the class I assign to you. But you’re an idiot to choose something else.”

He smirked. “I’ll choose my own class then, thanks. And it'll be the warrior class.”

“Tell me, Mr. Jo. What is your death penalty today?”

“Huh? I don’t know.”

“Check. It’s in your menu, which you open the same way you open it outside the sim.”

He made the motion and frowned. “It says that my death penalty is… What the fuck is this?”

“What does it say?” She encouraged.

“That I can’t have sex or masturbate for a month? I didn’t know you could have sex in this game.”

“I don’t think you understand. The death penalties apply to this one and your world outside the sim.”

He snorted. “That’s impossible.”

What? Impossible? Did the guy not see the nuclear shitake mushroom?

“It’s a fairly harsh death penalty for your first one but... it’ll do.” Her movements flashed, and Barrett’s HP dropped to a sliver. She had her sword stabbed through his gut. His face was contorted into a look of pure pain. “By the right of Guildhead, I take the life of my recruit, Barret Jo, for insubordination of the highest order.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t ever call me a bitch again, Mr. Jo.”

She twisted her blade, and it took off his last two HP. He vanished.

I shuffled my feet and immediately opened my menu to see my own penalty.

Current Death Penalty: You will not be able to earn any money in the VS or in reality for 4 In-Simulation Standard (ISS) days if you die.

This penalty will change in: 11:35:23 ISS

My heart sped as the harshness of these affecting both reality and the game came to light.

For someone like me who relied on the money I made every day, dying was not acceptable if it made it impossible to gain income. Okay, I did have 7 grand saved up in my online account so I technically could afford to take 4 days off, but what if it prevented me from accessing those savings? I’d be so screwed when I tried to leave tomorrow.

And what was this ISS? Did this game run at a different time than reality? Now that I thought about it, that made sense. If it connected various universes and realities, then there was a chance time ran differently here to get everyone on some kind of standard.

“I’m sure that was shocking for both of you,” the leader said. “But I don’t suffer fools or the rude lightly. Neither will your trainers. Keep that in mind.”

“Um,” I said. Her hard eyes stared into mine, and I stepped back a little. “Sorry but, can I ask what’s going to happen to him?”

“He’ll respawn in the stables, and one of my people will escort him to the Warrior’s guild. They can deal with him.” She tapped her chin and stared at Noob Slayer. “You.”

“Yeah?” he said with a gravelly voice.

“I don’t know what life is like where you come from, but if you walk around here with a name like Noob Slayer, you will inevitably be mocked. Or hated.”

“I always use this moniker when playing MMOs.”

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Well, if you don’t mind everyone calling you noob, then leave it. But this is your one chance to change it. I don’t recommend that you waste it.”

He grumbled, but I noticed that the name over his head changed to Rion Cho.

She stepped up to me, and I straightened my back.

“Mia. No last name.” She paused. “Not a terrible name, but it’s a little simple even for a halfling, wouldn’t you say?”

“Wouldn’t know. My Administrator chose it for me.”

She nodded. “That happens sometimes. I want both of you to open your menus and go into your character information then tell me your numbers.”

Rion went first, listing a string of numbers I didn't understand.

She nodded as if she did.

I looked at my page.

Strength: 7

Dexterity: 13

Athletics: 5

Charisma: 5

Creativity: 5

Social: 2.5

Con: 10

Armor: 2

Health: 3

Wisdom: 7

Intelligence: 9

Magic: 4

Health: 33 | Mana: 44

After I repeated my own numbers, she nodded.

“I won’t tell you what those mean, I have more important issues to deal with, and this is something your trainers will explain. But I will assign you your classes based on these. Rion, I recommend that you join the Assassin class.”

“Perfect,” he said.

A cloaked figure stepped out of the shadows and placed their hand on his shoulder. Rion visibly swallowed.

“Follow me,” the genderless voice said.

He nodded, and they headed through one of the side doors.

“Mia. I recommend that you join the Arcane Assassin Class.”

“What’s that?”

A woman wearing glasses and dark gray leather armor materialized in front of me. She had a well-endowed figure I was a little jealous of and a broad grin. “It’s only the best class ever!”

She clapped her hands and jumped excitedly. “Yay! I have a new student. I hope you survive.” She looked at me seriously for a second. “The last several haven’t.”

I swallowed. “What happened to your last pupils? Did they die or something?”

“In a way. I guess they couldn’t take the pressure and decided to delete their character to create a new one.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“No, it doesn’t. Until you realize that deleting your character and creating a new one requires a death penalty that is generally 100 times worse than your average one.”

“Oh,” I squeaked.

She nodded sagely.

The leader sighed as if the world rested on her shoulders. “Crimea, she hasn’t agreed to be your pupil yet. You got ahead of yourself again.”

“Oh! Right. I do that sometimes. High intelligence, you understand.”

I wasn't sure I did. “What are the advantages of this class?”

Crimea’s excitement radiated off her. “It’s the highest damaging class in the game.”

“When it comes to single targets,” the leader pointed out. “I’d say Wizards are the highest damaging class when it comes to groups. But each is useful in their own right. It isn’t just about damage all the time.”

Crimea rolled her eyes.

“And the downside?”

My possible teacher grimaced.

“Go on. Tell her.”

“The good news is that you won’t be a glass cannon, but you’ll be pretty close to it. But the worst part is that your social skills are going to be mediocre at best.”

“And why does that matter?”

“Well, if you get into a bad situation, you won’t be able to talk or bluff your way out of it.”

I didn’t see a problem with that since I was used to games where talking wasn’t an option. “Those sound like a fair trade.”

[Congratulations! You have chosen the Arcane Assassin Class! Through the use of magic, weapons, and backstabbing, you can defeat your foes!]

My trainer squealed. I covered my ears. She grabbed my shoulder, and suddenly we were in an altogether different room.

***

Crimea had teleported me! That was cool and I couldn't wait to learn how to do that!

Light shined through the paper-thin walls showing off the leaf pattern of the support beams. Bookshelves with stacks of eerily color-coded books covered the left wall while the rest of this new room hosted a massive padded area with 5 straw dummies. Each man-shaped target sported scorch marks on specific weak points that had been painted red. I paused as a hint of fear shot down my spine. She wouldn’t make me cast a fire spell, would she?

“Stealth, tracking, weapons, spells, and backstab.”

“Huh?” I said, totally radiating intelligence.

“These are the five main aspects of an Arcane Assassin.”

I nodded.

She looked into the distance with blue eyes that sparkled behind thin-rimmed spectacles. “When I was first trained, my teacher took me aside and taught me each aspect separately. We worked in the dojo for tireless hours until I had each subject down. But let’s instead do something that won’t kill you with boredom.” She paused in thought. “Chances are it will just kill you.” She giggled. I hoped she was joking.

Once again, she grabbed my arm, and we appeared on a red-tiled rooftop in a sprawling city where the buildings had the same leaf-like architecture that the guild had. It was as if the city designer had decided to cram as many of these odd buildings together as they could.

With a grin, she stretched out her arm to gesture below. “Okay, go!”

“What?”

“Oops. Got ahead of myself again.” She chuckled. “Pick any random person, stalk them through the streets. When you reach a good spot, attempt to kill them.” She slashed the air as if she imagined stabbing an invisible foe.

Wait, without training she wanted me to follow some random stranger through the streets and murder them Assassin’s Creed style? I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “With what weapon?”

She tapped her chin. “Good question. You’re a high dex player, so let’s give you my old double short swords.”

She reached out to something in front of her and pulled two thin scabbarded swords out of nothing. She tossed them to me. When I caught the old blades I used Observe on them.

Rusty Twin Short Swords. Damage 4 + 5 (Athletics Modifier). Durability 79/100. These swords have a .002% chance to infect your victim with tetanus. You have received a weapon. Would you like to equip it?

I thought yes and was about to ask how when my swords flew out of my hands and magically glued themselves to my lower back. That was convenient.

“Oh, and if you fail, be ready to endure my punishment!”

You have been given the quest, On the Job Training.

Rewards: 400 XP and 400 Reputation with Crimea.

Failure: 400 XP, +0 reputation with Crimea, a two-hour lecture and more! Be prepared to fail!

She dusted off her hands. “Well, Ms. Mia. Time is floating by, and you have a stranger to hunt,” she said. With a wink, the assassin teacher disappeared.

I sighed.

When would I learn how to teleport? Also, I didn’t think this was the best way to train me in this class, but I’d take it over spending hours in a dojo like she had with her teacher.

I peered over the edge at the people walking down a crowded street. Oddly, every single person was an elf. Actually, everyone I’d met so far had been an elf. Did everyone start in a city filled with their same race or was I special? I would think this was some kind of elf game, except I was a halfling, so there had to be other intelligent races somewhere.

Every now and then a vendor selling delicious smelling food would gather a crowd. Near one vendor a man dressed in dark red robes stood out from the crowd.

????. Level 2. 30 HP. 72 Mana.

Only 30 HP and a level 2! Well, I found my target.

I studied the houses around me. Even though the buildings were close together, the roofs were uneven. I didn’t trust myself to track a target while on that terrain, at least not on my first attempt. That meant I had to find a way down. Maybe I could just jump?

I stepped up to the edge. The top of the roof must have been at least 20 feet up. Maybe my body could take the fall?

After checking for a spot clear of pedestrians I moved to the roof's edge. Sucking in a breath and gathering my courage I stepped off.

As I plummeted to my death I immediately regretted my decision. Fortunately, my new body must have had pre-programmed responses because I twisted in midair like a cat and grabbed the roof's edge just before it passed my fingertips. My hands shook with the pain of slamming into the tiles. I brought my feet up to cushion my body from smashing into the wall the same way I saw those parkour guys do in those badass YouTube vids.

What little strength I had was fortunately enough to keep myself up for a while as my biceps weren’t straining like they would in real life (IRL).

Okay, now what? I searched the wall for my next handhold and noticed a window ledge a few feet below me. Heart racing, I used my foot to touch the ledge then allowed my weight to lower, so I stood on the sill.

Sucking in another breath, I dropped again, this time aiming to grab the sil. My hand missed. Eek!

Sharp pain shot through my legs as if they were broken. I held in a scream and sucked in a deep breath. When I breathed out the pain eased enough for me to stand.

Applause sounded in the direction of the crowd I’d been stalking towards. I flipped them all off.

Warning! You have taken falling damage and injured your legs. Your ass isn’t much better. Careful that you don’t fall on your hidden blade there, Altair!

Thanks for pointing out the obvious you sarcastic asshole prompt.

You’re welcome, player Grace.

A large part of my health had drained. As I stood still it very slowly climbed back up. Since I didn't feel like waiting until I was completely healed, I limped over to the chaotic queue around the vendor and stared daggers at the back of red robe guy.

Some ranger next to me said, “You new here?”

I nodded. I mean, obviously, since I still had on noob gear.

“Then you probably don’t have any money, halfling. So you should get out of line.”

Red guy received his meat on a stick and strolled away.

I scowled at ranger dude. “Thanks for the heads up, Legolas.”

“I’m not...”

He kept going, but I ignored him, instead focusing on following my prey. I stayed several yards away from him and behind several people so as to not seem suspicious. After about ten minutes of doing this, another prompt appeared.

Congratulations! By blending into a crowd, even after your horrendous attempt at parkour, you have learned the skill, Blend. While this is not stealth, it is in the same family. Each level of blend increases your stealth skill if you have one, by .1 levels.

I wondered if there was a parkour skill or a climbing skill. If so, how often would I have to do those in order to get it?

I continued following red robe. I, unfortunately, wasn’t watching where I placed my feet and stumbled on a cobblestone that was just a little too high. A dark-skinned elf next to me caught my arm.

[????. Level 14. 168 HP. 432 Mana.]

“Whoa! Careful there, noob.” She smiled at me. “First day?”

I swallowed my embarrassment and nodded.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get used to your new body.” She stared into both of my eyes and frowned. “Oh, you’re a halfling.”

I flinched and extracted my arm from her grasp.

She bit her lip and looked around the crowd. “Hey, don’t worry. I have a couple family members who are also halflings in the sim. But it looks like you’ve only been here a little under an hour or so. Why aren’t you studying in your guild?”

“Oh. I am studying. Just out in the field.” My eyes darted to the red robe guy who stopped at another stall, this time for a grapefruit colored drink.

“Has your class teacher taught you how to open your inventory yet?”

“Wait. I have an inventory?” With that thought, a window appeared in front of me with a grid of four by six boxes. On one side was a scrolling function and on the other side was a window with a wallet, four boxes for extra bags and a long empty list for items. I assumed the list was a quick access option.

She nodded then smiled. “I see you found it.”

My eyes narrowed. “Thank you, but why did you mention it?”

“I remember when I first started, my master trolled me by not mentioning it until I was overburdened with the junk.”

I grimaced, easily seeing Crimea forgetting to mention the inventory to me. Oh, she wouldn't do it out of malice, but she would absolutely forget believing she'd already told me. “Thank you!”

“And here. Take this. As a halfling in this elven society, you’ll need all the help you can get. Besides. I’m a wizard, not a pack mule. I’m running out of space, and I don’t need low-level items.”

She held out a metal ring. Tentatively, I reached out and took it.

You have received Aluminum Ring of Magic Damage! Durability 256/612. This ring increases the magical damage you do by 2 points! This is a rare item for levels 1-5. You’re a lucky dog! Just don’t get used to this level of kindness from strangers. Would you like to equip it?

No duh, I thought at the prompt, and the ring slid onto my right middle finger.

I stared into the helpful player’s face. “Thank you! I’ll remember this.”

“Just pass it on when you outgrow it.”

My target was on the move, so I waved to the kind wizard and followed after him. He finished his drink by devouring the cup as if it were candy. Suddenly he turned a corner into an alleyway. I rushed forward. There was no way I would let him get away now. Besides, if the alley was dark enough, maybe this was my chance to kill him!

Before I turned the corner, I put my back to the wall and peered into the alleyway. Red robe sat on a bench just beyond the alley where a pleasant little circular garden rested between the buildings. My heart pounded like a woodpecker.

Unfortunately, at that tense moment, the wicked prompt asshole decided to be helpful again.

Congratulations! By not losing track of your intended victim you have learned the skill Track! Keep stalking your prey to increase this skill's level

I ignored the prompt and entered the alleyway. After traveling a few yards into the shadows, I pulled out my swords. Never having held heavy swords like this before, I moved the weapons awkwardly. I swung them a couple times until their weight felt natural.

Carefully, and ever so slowly I stepped down the alleyway. I made no noise as I approached.

My target sighed as he watched the purple flowers fall from the hidden tree and cover the garden's bushes with a violet carpet.

This was it. The end of my first quest. So, very easy. All I had to do was be silent and stab.

When I was three feet from him, I raised my blades high into the air. I hesitated for a half-second then used all my strength to bring death down on the back of his neck. The swords stopped six inches from him.

Warning! You and ???? are below the level required for PVP (Level 4). You cannot attack him, and you cannot be attacked in return.

“Ah. That’s what it was,” Red robe said. He stood and faced me, menace gleaming in his eyes.

Out of nowhere, two single-edged swords appeared and rested on my throat. The metal glittered with some kind of poison. I awkwardly put my weapons away and raised my hands up in the classic surrender pose. To either side of me, masked assassins held a blade.

“Huh?” I asked him oh so eloquently.

“I was wondering if you were an idiot, a child, or a fool.” He coolly wiped a flower off his shoulder.

“And your verdict?”

He tsked. “All three, I’m afraid.”

Crimea appeared behind him in the center of the garden. She squeaked. “Oh no! Davis Crimsondahlia!”

“Is this halfling your student, Teacher Crimea?”

“Afraid so. If you don’t mind, I’ll be taking her and leaving.”

“She needs to be taught a lesson about who’s who in this city before she gets herself murdered a few hundred times.”

“I agree. She’s from that new backwater universe. A planet called Earth. They don’t really know anything.”

That totally offended me but unlike Barret, I knew when to shut up and listen.

Davis rolled his eyes. “So you thought it would be a good idea to release her on the city?”

"It sounded like a fun idea! I just didn’t think she’d choose someone like you to hunt and fail to kill.”

“Wait!” I said, this time not holding my tongue, “You mean you gave me an impossible quest?”

“Oh, no! You succeeded quite brilliantly,” she shoved her glasses higher, “even though you didn’t fool anyone with your lack of a stealth skill. The quest was to attempt to kill the target, which you succeded at. Still, I think we’ll have you spend more time studying before I send you out on your own again.”

You have completed the quest, On the Job Training. You have received 400 XP. XP to next level 1,600. You have earned 400 reputation with Crimea. You have earned -50 reputation with Crimea because of your idiotic choice in targets. Good Job, kind of!

“Now, Mia,” she said, “Apologize to Mr. Crimsondahlia for attempting to kill him.”

I sent her a glare and stared into Davis’ eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll know not to target you next time I’m sent out on an assassination quest.”

He smirked. “Oh no, Ms. Mia. It’s not that you know not to kill me. It’s that you now know to never cross me." He moved from behind the bench and stalked right up to me. "If I ever see you working against me, your life in this world won’t be worth living.”

I swallowed. Somehow, even as I stared at his level 2 status, I knew he’d, used money and influence to destroy the lives of poor players in the past. I was not planning on crossing this guy any time soon.

Crimea slapped her hands. “Now that you’re done threatening my student, we’ll be going. Ta!” She teleported beside me, grabbed my shoulder and brought us back to the training room.